Happier Abroad Forum Community

So I'm convinced you can't just be your socially awkward, out of shape, mildly autistic self and attract girls. You need to work heavily on your appearance, social skills, and sexual strategy to get with women. THIS INCLUDES foreign countries like Thailand, PI, East Europe, etc. No personal development = posting on HA complaining that Asian women suck too!

HOWEVER... In the USA I think "PUA" is a treadmill of death. You're continually told it's not them it's YOU. Living in LA it's nigh impossible to meet people. As a 5'9 white guy my sexual market value is rock bottom. Some game skills can boost up attention on me, but in the end... Nothing will cause any type of breakthrough to happen.

So I guess there's some type of balance. You can't just keep buying PUA products and making PUA companies rich forever in the USA, trying to fix something that's unfixable if you can't get laid here, but you can't NOT work on your sexual strategy and personal development and go to a foreign country and expect success.

I'm not expert on the pick up artist stuff, but I watched a bit of YouTube on the subject when I heard they was an industry offering men classes on how to pick up women, which is an interesting phenomenon.

It sounds like the techniques are designed to overcome objections from the type of women who like to give a man a hard time, overcoming &^$# tests. Are those really the top quality women?

Of course, back when I was single and looking, I wasn't looking for someone to fornicate with. I was looking for a good quality woman to marry. I didn't want a woman who intentionally put out a bunch of hoops for me to jump through and liked playing mind games.

But right before I got married, I was living in Indonesia where a lot of young women I showed no interest in seemed to be giving off body language and other signals that they were interested.

I'm not expert on the pick up artist stuff, but I watched a bit of YouTube on the subject when I heard they was an industry offering men classes on how to pick up women, which is an interesting phenomenon.

It sounds like the techniques are designed to overcome objections from the type of women who like to give a man a hard time, overcoming &^$# tests. Are those really the top quality women?

Of course, back when I was single and looking, I wasn't looking for someone to fornicate with. I was looking for a good quality woman to marry. I didn't want a woman who intentionally put out a bunch of hoops for me to jump through and liked playing mind games.

But right before I got married, I was living in Indonesia where a lot of young women I showed no interest in seemed to be giving off body language and other signals that they were interested.

MrMan wrote:I'm not expert on the pick up artist stuff, but I watched a bit of YouTube on the subject when I heard they was an industry offering men classes on how to pick up women, which is an interesting phenomenon.

It sounds like the techniques are designed to overcome objections from the type of women who like to give a man a hard time, overcoming &^$# tests. Are those really the top quality women?

Of course, back when I was single and looking, I wasn't looking for someone to fornicate with. I was looking for a good quality woman to marry. I didn't want a woman who intentionally put out a bunch of hoops for me to jump through and liked playing mind games.

But right before I got married, I was living in Indonesia where a lot of young women I showed no interest in seemed to be giving off body language and other signals that they were interested.

It's simple. Understand that you are a man and are looking for a quality girl....that clueless, confused slutty appearance women are everywhere around you, and that they can be easily led for sex if you should want to use them for their appearance (they are obviously offering it to you...) so go for it. But be tactful.

You should still lookout and seek for a good, kind decent girl to be with.

The kind of girl that will fall for PUA bs, was prepared to sleep with someone she barely knows anyway. You need to ask yourself is that the kind of girl you want? If you just want sex well then ok.

No decent girl will fall for that as her integrity should be more important than any kak out of a man's mouth.

Many girls will have hesitations about a man shorter than them but 5 9 is still taller than the large majority of women so height is not the problem. You cant change height, and looks only to an extent with haircuts clothes, hygiene etc. Confidence you get by experience and mindset. Behaviour, integrity and who you choose to mix with is totally up to you.

Dont expect it to be easy with a decent girl. You need to establish a track record of integrity and wit before you become an option. Same with men. A woman needs to reveal she has something to offer before you consider her as a potential partner rather than just a heifer to stick your dick in.

I think he just wants to get laid.

The best advice I can give is to give her humor and attention, without expecting anything in return, and move forward while making her feel like she is in control of the situation and is choosing you. It's a dance. You give her a little attention, then back off until she comes to you, give her a little more, then wait. Make her feel like she is winning you over. It's subtle.

Eric wrote:I think he just wants to get laid.

Then you must practice the art of spewing bullshit and projecting a bs image and being very witty to make her laugh. Getting laid is easy but gets harder if you want to go above an 8.

Eric wrote: It's simple. Understand that you are a man and are looking for a quality girl....that clueless, confused slutty appearance women are everywhere around you, and that they can be easily led for sex if you should want to use them for their appearance (they are obviously offering it to you...) so go for it. But be tactful.

They didn't teach you that in the Roman Catholic Church did they?

MrMan wrote:

Eric wrote: It's simple. Understand that you are a man and are looking for a quality girl....that clueless, confused slutty appearance women are everywhere around you, and that they can be easily led for sex if you should want to use them for their appearance (they are obviously offering it to you...) so go for it. But be tactful.

They didn't teach you that in the Roman Catholic Church did they?

Maybe the priest was busy looking for clueless confused little boys who could easily be led for sex

Cyrus wrote:As a 5'9 white guy my sexual market value is rock bottom.

If you had said 5'5" or 5'6" I might have understood you a little more but... 5'9", really? That's already the kiss of death for you? Me thinks, you're being overly dramatic. I've seen plenty of short guys who did fine with women. They all seemed to have good facial features, a fit body and a talkative, humorous personality though. If you have one flaw, you can help make up for it by boosting other aspects of yourself, highlighting the positives to hide or overshadow the negatives. Self-improvement is always possible.

Pick Up Artistry is nonsense, for the most part. There are some elements of it that should just be common sense, and that no one should have to pay a single dollar for. The rest of it is just a scam. There are no special techniques. The dating market isn't some sort of video game where you can hit a secret box, type in a cheat code and win a foolproof home run just by the virtue of making a certain gesture of saying a certain line.

The only good thing about PUAs, to me, is their confidence. Or maybe, their projection of confidence. Their ability and willingness to keep on going in, to face rejection bravely, and to never surrender. At least they're doing something... but none of what they do, or suggest you to do, will ever work for someone who has zero social grace. Better to work on your people skills first before trying to acquire love skills. Baby steps.

MarcosZeitola wrote:

Cyrus wrote:As a 5'9 white guy my sexual market value is rock bottom.

If you had said 5'5" or 5'6" I might have understood you a little more but... 5'9", really? That's already the kiss of death for you? Me thinks, you're being overly dramatic. I've seen plenty of short guys who did fine with women. They all seemed to have good facial features, a fit body and a talkative, humorous personality though. If you have one flaw, you can help make up for it by boosting other aspects of yourself, highlighting the positives to hide or overshadow the negatives. Self-improvement is always possible.

Pick Up Artistry is nonsense, for the most part. There are some elements of it that should just be common sense, and that no one should have to pay a single dollar for. The rest of it is just a scam. There are no special techniques. The dating market isn't some sort of video game where you can hit a secret box, type in a cheat code and win a foolproof home run just by the virtue of making a certain gesture of saying a certain line.

The only good thing about PUAs, to me, is their confidence. Or maybe, their projection of confidence. Their ability and willingness to keep on going in, to face rejection bravely, and to never surrender. At least they're doing something... but none of what they do, or suggest you to do, will ever work for someone who has zero social grace. Better to work on your people skills first before trying to acquire love skills. Baby steps.

According to this chart 5 9 is just under the 50th percentile for american white men

http://halls.md/average-height-men-height-weight/

5 10 seems to be average.
The same chart for women shows them to be just under 5 5

http://halls.md/average-height-women-height-weight/

So i agree height is not his problem. 95 pct of women are still shorter. If he was 5 6 short shit he would start being shorter, especially since women like heels.