http://www.primal-page.com/perry.htmBruce Perry's compellingly-named book is one of two that I personally feel should come out of the womb with every child that is born (the other being Alice Miller's, For Your Own Good: The Roots of Violence in Childrearing). Written in 2006, it charts Dr. Perry's journey through some of the most difficult cases that a modern child psychiatrist will ever have to grapple with. As his narrative progresses, he clearly outlines the impact of all of the abuses these children suffered on their brain development - and importantly, helps the reader understand how these problems can be caught and even reversed.
Some of the cases covered include: a case of a child who witnessed her mother's murder at age three and whose own throat was slashed, children involved in a satanic ritual abuse panic in Texas, the children evacuated from the Branch Davidian compound during the siege in Waco, the eponymous boy who was raised by his uncle (who was a dog trainer) in a cage, and a child whose mother had Munchausen's syndrome by proxy and came very close to killing him. Also in the book are cases of the kind that we hear about more often: a child who had experienced sexual abuse from a very young age, a teenager who would cut herself, and a young boy who was adopted from an orphanage in Russia where he was kept in a crib for the first three years of his life.
Perhaps the most compelling cases involved a teenage boy who committed an atrocious murder at sixteen, and was facing life in prison. He had been drinking, and killed two teenage girls who lived in his building. He then violated their bodies. Perry was called in by the court to assess the boy, and met with the family to see if they could provide insight into what happened. His older brother was married with a stable job and a family, so the problem was unlikely to be genetic.
He realized that father and brother were being protective of the mother, and speaking for her, and when he pressed a little he realized that the mother was of below-average intelligence. She had become pregnant in high school, and had her first child when she lived with her family. When she was unable to care for the child, there was always someone there to take care of the baby.
Circumstances had changed by the time the second son was born. She moved with her son and now-husband to another city, away from her family. She had little idea of how to care for her newborn, and would feed and change him in the morning and then go on long walks with her other son, abandoning him for hours at a time.
It was at this time that Perry suspects that the boy's ability to form bonds or to feel empathy failed to develop. With no adults around him whom were able to provide nurturing, attentive care, the boy developed into a sociopath with a marked ability to charm the people around him, but with no capacity for empathy - or to even understand empathy: as he was being led away following his sentencing, the boy wondered to Perry that about why his family was crying, when he was the one who was going to jail.
This and the other cases in the book have important implications for our approach to raising children, and brought something up that I had wondered about before. I have often wondered why it is that cases of serial murders and similar sociopathic criminals were so much more common in the West than in the Middle East and Southeast Asia, were I did my growing up.
One possible answer may lie in the understanding of "family" to mean "nuclear family," rather than "extended family." For better or worse, children in most other parts of the world are surrounded by, or actually live with, a host of relatives with whom they are in constant contact. One result may be that fewer of them fall through the cracks and develop sociopathic tendencies as a result of abandonment or a lack of nurturing relationships when young.
Perry had the sense and humility to write the book with a co-author, who I assume helped him frame the story and make it accessible to laypeople that had no medical or psychiatric training. The result is a compelling, insightful and profoundly important book that clearly outlines the lessons to be learned from how these children were failed, and perhaps the most important lesson of all: that recovery from all but the worst forms of abuse or neglect are possible, in the presence of early enough intervention and a safe and nurturing relationship with an adult or adults.
Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss and talk about any general topic.
4 posts • Page 1 of 1
Public school and the people in it are fake as shit. Money and workaholic culture replaces healthy social interaction.
Sociopathy is becoming normalized in the US, just like many other personality disorders & mental illnesses. The majority of people who are psychopaths, sociopaths & the like in the US tend to be-you guessed it-WOMEN! Coupled this w/ the fact that feminism has bred & groomed female narcissism even more while diminishing female accountability, it created a society where its members are very dysfunctional. This is only part of a possible greater & more detailed response to this question. The other part would be the demonization of men & the role of fathers.
Even the most feminine woman from any western nation is equal to the most androgynous woman an any non-western country.
Men age like wine, women age like milk-Tom Leykis
Studies have shown that the US has the highest rate of mental illness of any industrialized country in the world. Most of the mentally ill people in America are indeed women. This is why so many women in the US are on psychiatric medication.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
The whole American understanding of 'individuality' is one that's fundamentally selfish in nature. It essentially promotes getting ahead at all costs. You tend to hear more stories of people who pursue their goals regardless of everything else, often with a positive twist, than stories of people who stopped pursuing their goals because of everything else and an overall simpler life. To me the highest calling is to find the little corner of my world that I will share with the select few who will have any degree of closeness to me. Of course, this includes my wife and my kids. If we look at American 'individualism' for what it really is, it ain't promoting any degree of true individual expression. You are allowed to be an individual within a set of parameters, specifically, the mainstream world's obsession with career and so-called success. In the end it comes down to a very narrow definition of individual being. Now my view of individualism is built on the opposite. Sure, there needs to be a degree of control and restraint, certain parameters have to be set, but my view of individuality is not complicating life. Rather, it is avoiding the unnecessary and striving to be simpler, more natural. My view of individuality, rather than getting ahead at all costs, is the expression of self but not forgetting the establishment of genuine bonds, relationships, and striving to do good.