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Disapproving Parents

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JohnDoeBigBaller
Freshman Poster
Posts: 362
Joined: May 14th, 2016, 7:59 pm

Re: Disapproving Parents

Post by JohnDoeBigBaller » October 16th, 2017, 5:04 pm

Teh Amasin Spoderman wrote:I am currently in a relationship with a Filipina, and I am planning to visit her this coming February, where I plan to stay for 6 months. I'm also planning on proposing to her, and hopefully get married in the Philippines so I can be with her.

I tell my parents about this plan, instead of support or congratulations, all I get is this negative feedback which leads to a pointless debate.

This is how it feels like communicating with them:



"SHE'S A GOLD DIGGER! SHE'S JUST USING YOU TO GET A VISA TO LIVE IN THE USA, WHERE SHE WILL LEAVE YOU!"

-She's not a gold digger who has not asked me for money once, and we plan on staying in the Philippines. Besides, she is offering to pay for my airfare, which I declined.

"WHY MARRY SOMEONE FROM THE PHILIPPINES? THERE'S PLENTY OF NICE WOMEN HERE IN THE STATES!"

-I'm not attracted to fatties, feminists, and obnoxious bitches. Besides, mom (she's a Filipino immigrant), why did you look for an American man when there's plenty of nice Filipino guys back at home?


" OKAY, YOU GOT YOUR PLANE TICKET, HOW YOU GONNA SURVIVE IN THE PHILIPPINES FOR 6 MONTHS?"

-I already got my plane ticket an I'm leaving in February, not tomorrow. Besides, whatever money I make here will go a long way there. My cousin/your nephew is also offering to let me stay over so I don't have to book a hotel room

" WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO IF THERE ARE PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?"

- We will work out the problems together, like a real relationship. Unlike in America, where you screw up once, and she gets half your stuff.





Anyone else dealt with something similar from their parents or other relatives? Any advice?
Dude, no shit your stupid baby boomer parents are going to hate the idea of marrying a foreign woman. Let me guess. The majority of the protest comes from your MOTHER, right? American women are evil bitches who would rather see their own male children enslaved than live a happy free life. And your father is too much of a f***ing p***y cuck to dare to challenge her, but deep down I bet he envies you, that you are going for a good foreign woman who will be nice, unlike his bitchy f***ing american c**t wife.

fightforlove
Junior Poster
Posts: 537
Joined: June 3rd, 2012, 10:41 pm
Location: Somewhere Near Chicago

Re: Disapproving Parents

Post by fightforlove » October 16th, 2017, 5:58 pm

JohnDoeBigBaller wrote:
Teh Amasin Spoderman wrote:I am currently in a relationship with a Filipina, and I am planning to visit her this coming February, where I plan to stay for 6 months. I'm also planning on proposing to her, and hopefully get married in the Philippines so I can be with her.

I tell my parents about this plan, instead of support or congratulations, all I get is this negative feedback which leads to a pointless debate.

This is how it feels like communicating with them:



"SHE'S A GOLD DIGGER! SHE'S JUST USING YOU TO GET A VISA TO LIVE IN THE USA, WHERE SHE WILL LEAVE YOU!"

-She's not a gold digger who has not asked me for money once, and we plan on staying in the Philippines. Besides, she is offering to pay for my airfare, which I declined.

"WHY MARRY SOMEONE FROM THE PHILIPPINES? THERE'S PLENTY OF NICE WOMEN HERE IN THE STATES!"

-I'm not attracted to fatties, feminists, and obnoxious bitches. Besides, mom (she's a Filipino immigrant), why did you look for an American man when there's plenty of nice Filipino guys back at home?


" OKAY, YOU GOT YOUR PLANE TICKET, HOW YOU GONNA SURVIVE IN THE PHILIPPINES FOR 6 MONTHS?"

-I already got my plane ticket an I'm leaving in February, not tomorrow. Besides, whatever money I make here will go a long way there. My cousin/your nephew is also offering to let me stay over so I don't have to book a hotel room

" WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO IF THERE ARE PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?"

- We will work out the problems together, like a real relationship. Unlike in America, where you screw up once, and she gets half your stuff.





Anyone else dealt with something similar from their parents or other relatives? Any advice?
Dude, no shit your stupid baby boomer parents are going to hate the idea of marrying a foreign woman. Let me guess. The majority of the protest comes from your MOTHER, right? American women are evil bitches who would rather see their own male children enslaved than live a happy free life. And your father is too much of a f***ing p***y cuck to dare to challenge her, but deep down I bet he envies you, that you are going for a good foreign woman who will be nice, unlike his bitchy f***ing american c**t wife.
It could be that his mom is not evil, but just undereducated. The world was much more sane when Boomers were in their formative years 50s-70s, then they enjoyed their prime working/family-raising years during the economically prosperous 80s/90s. When it comes to various life advice for their children, be it social life, economics, education, dating, etc.; they are shockingly unaware of the new socio-economic paradigm. I think a lot of our baby boomer mothers are almost completely unsympathetic to a man navigating the modern dating sexual market place. Disregard everything they say. They mean well but are woefully socially unaware and have no solutions to your issues. We're living in the new testament now.

MrMan
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2328
Joined: July 31st, 2014, 3:52 am

Re: Disapproving Parents

Post by MrMan » October 17th, 2017, 3:28 am

JohnDoeBigBaller wrote:, but deep down I bet he envies you, that you are going for a good foreign woman who will be nice, unlike his bitchy f***ing american c**t wife.
His mom is Filippina. He did not mention his dad. My guess is he is a 'regular' American. Maybe his mom dreamed of having white grandchildren with pointy noises and lots of body hair. It could be a class thing if the girl he is interested in is from a lower social strata.

If a man is going to marry a Filipina, one of the advantages is that he just might be getting a girl with traditional family values. Getting married against his mother's wishes doesn't line up with (what I understand of) Filipino traditional family values. If he brings her home, who is she going to hang out with? Unless he wants to cut his family off completely, she will spend some time around his mother. It's hard enough to adjust to a new country without her feeling rejected. I hear traditional Filipinas do not like to go places alone. If one of them goes shopping, she asks someone else to go with her. They take someone on vacation. Some of them bring a sister, friend, or cousin along on a date. If she goes to the US, what other Filipinas will she have to go to the store with? If he has a sister, maybe her sister-in-law, and of course her mother-in-law. Sister-in-law may not hang out with her if the mother hasn't reconciled with the son over his running off and eloping.

Getting parental agreement makes sense. She'll need all the support she gets, and if there is conflict, then he's got to listen to his wife talk about it. Women process their feelings by talking about them. If she doesn't have anyone else, then he's gonna to be the one to listen to that kind of stuff. It's possible she could make some instant friends if she goes back to the US, but it doesn't always work like that.

I have spent some time around the Filipino community in the US, but I do not understand their culture as well as I do Indonesian culture. Theirs is a culture (or rather is made up of many cultures) where parental agreement to marriage is considered extremely important as well. It may not be legally required, but it is socially required. In one of their ethic cultures, representatives from extended families, like representatives of your mother's maiden name and other relatives that have intermarried, are required for their wedding ceremonies (big parties with lots of speeches, music, and food). If you can cut your wife off from family, maybe you don't have to jump through the hoops, but there may be 'positive social pressure' on her for her marriage to succeed, to be a good wife and mother, etc. if she's more connected to a family with traditional values.

In Indonesia, if the parents do not agree, the children (in their 20's, for example) wait it out to get parental approval while they date....or continue their 'friendship.'

JohnDoeBigBaller
Freshman Poster
Posts: 362
Joined: May 14th, 2016, 7:59 pm

Re: Disapproving Parents

Post by JohnDoeBigBaller » October 17th, 2017, 4:23 am

MrMan wrote:
JohnDoeBigBaller wrote:, but deep down I bet he envies you, that you are going for a good foreign woman who will be nice, unlike his bitchy f***ing american c**t wife.
His mom is Filippina. He did not mention his dad. My guess is he is a 'regular' American. Maybe his mom dreamed of having white grandchildren with pointy noises and lots of body hair. It could be a class thing if the girl he is interested in is from a lower social strata.

If a man is going to marry a Filipina, one of the advantages is that he just might be getting a girl with traditional family values. Getting married against his mother's wishes doesn't line up with (what I understand of) Filipino traditional family values. If he brings her home, who is she going to hang out with? Unless he wants to cut his family off completely, she will spend some time around his mother. It's hard enough to adjust to a new country without her feeling rejected. I hear traditional Filipinas do not like to go places alone. If one of them goes shopping, she asks someone else to go with her. They take someone on vacation. Some of them bring a sister, friend, or cousin along on a date. If she goes to the US, what other Filipinas will she have to go to the store with? If he has a sister, maybe her sister-in-law, and of course her mother-in-law. Sister-in-law may not hang out with her if the mother hasn't reconciled with the son over his running off and eloping.

Getting parental agreement makes sense. She'll need all the support she gets, and if there is conflict, then he's got to listen to his wife talk about it. Women process their feelings by talking about them. If she doesn't have anyone else, then he's gonna to be the one to listen to that kind of stuff. It's possible she could make some instant friends if she goes back to the US, but it doesn't always work like that.

I have spent some time around the Filipino community in the US, but I do not understand their culture as well as I do Indonesian culture. Theirs is a culture (or rather is made up of many cultures) where parental agreement to marriage is considered extremely important as well. It may not be legally required, but it is socially required. In one of their ethic cultures, representatives from extended families, like representatives of your mother's maiden name and other relatives that have intermarried, are required for their wedding ceremonies (big parties with lots of speeches, music, and food). If you can cut your wife off from family, maybe you don't have to jump through the hoops, but there may be 'positive social pressure' on her for her marriage to succeed, to be a good wife and mother, etc. if she's more connected to a family with traditional values.

In Indonesia, if the parents do not agree, the children (in their 20's, for example) wait it out to get parental approval while they date....or continue their 'friendship.'
oh well in that case it's different.

Why not just f**k prostitutes? How many women have you had sex with, OP? First, go f**k 20 or 40 prostitutes. Then see if you still subscribe to the concept of puppy love and marriage.

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