What to do about strong-willed female employees

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

https://medium.com/@meghanbausone/what- ... 3357310177


What to do about strong-willed female employees

I recently left a job at a company that had no idea why good employees were suddenly quitting. The individual reasons for quitting were not all the same. Some of us left because of incompetent management, some left because we weren’t being paid enough, some because we often felt like we weren’t being given opportunities to advance, or a combination of all of these things. However, what we did all have in common was that we were all women.

During my exit interview, I spoke with an executive about my reasons for leaving and I received feedback that surprised me. He said that he felt the manager I had primarily worked with was struggling to deal with the “strong-willed females” in his department. He believed this was the reason we were all quitting. I had already decided to leave for a host of personal reasons, but after hearing this I was sure I hadn’t made a mistake.

My coworkers and I had been labelled “strong-willed females” by managers and it all came crashing down on me that I had spent way too much time giving them the benefit of the doubt that they saw us as equal players. Flashbacks of the harsh reality washed over me like visions in a horror film.

I recounted the time my coworker told me she asked for a raise that would bring her up to the salary.com average for her position and was told that her request was ridiculous. After two years with the company, she was barely at the bottom of the income range for her position, with considerably more responsibility than others at the same level. She was told she might get a raise if she kept up the good work for another year.

I recalled the departmental meeting we had after the Fair Labor Standards act was changed to double the minimum salary threshold. Anyone making less than $47,476 would be paid hourly and be eligible for overtime. The affected employees who were being made into hourly workers were given envelopes. A manager walked around the room, slowly placing the crisp, white envelopes on the conference table in front of every other person in the room. I recalled our stunned expressions as we realized that the only envelope recipients were women.

Or the time a different co-worker and I were talking about our collaborative writing assignment on the topic of the importance of maternity and parental leave and our manager overheard our conversation. He pulled her aside later that day to tell her that she should “not get too into all that feminist stuff” because it would be bad for her career.

And all the occasions we were spoken over or ignored during meetings. The instances where we would share our idea and then it would be repeated moments later by a man who would instantly take credit. That we were told not to work on anything perceived as a technical project like website coding, even when we possessed the skills because there were men in the department who could “do it better.”

Everyday reality had become a miserable experience for us. We were meeting our deadlines and performing good work, but we were fighting a current of misogyny and didn’t even realize the full extent of it. We internalized our frustrations and thought of the individual negative instances as personal problems instead of as a systemic problem. This is what our corporate culture pressured us to do. If we were experiencing what felt like discrimination, we were encouraged to say nothing, because making it an HR issue was more of a headache than it was worth and likely nothing would happen. Eventually we started sharing our stories and frustrations with each other. Much like how the #metoo movement revealed how many of us felt like we couldn’t or shouldn’t speak out about sexual assault — we soon realized that we weren’t alone in facing workplace discrimination.

I thought about how we came to be labelled as “strong-willed females,” and all that term implies. The term seems so antiquated and obviously offensive. I see now that we were viewed as too demanding, too forthright, too opinionated, too impervious — when we were just trying to be respected, be honest, be heard, and be given equal space at the table. Wanting fair pay, opportunities for advancement, and to be treated as professionals doesn’t make women pushy. This is what all employees want and deserve.

A quick Google search of the term results in countless articles written by men who are trying to understand women. Advice for other men on how to deal with our dominant personalities, to identify what we really want from them, the pros and cons of dating us. Change the key term and you can see how ridiculous the concept is:

The Unique Role God has for Strong-Willed Christian Men

9 Things to Expect on a Date with a Strong Man

14 Things to Know Before Loving an Ambitious, Strong Willed Man

The immediate response would be, “What’s wrong with a strong man? Isn’t that something to be admired?” Don’t tell me the argument for feminism is dead. It isn’t. Skewed opinions about women, their rights, and their worth are as abundant as they ever were. The president himself had a reality television show where he openly and enthusiastically discriminated against his female contestants. It’s everywhere and it is largely ignored.

Even Google, revered as a great employer, is in the middle of a gender pay gap lawsuit on behalf of all female employees who worked there over the past four years. (Don’t try Googling the lawsuit, you’ll find better results Yahooing it.) They’re not alone either. Uber, Oracle, JPMorgan and many other companies are facing similar lawsuits. How many executives at these companies complained about strong-willed females as the problem?

I have a solution for the problem. Replace the term “strong-willed female” with “self-respecting individual.” Self-respecting individuals are great in leadership roles and on teams. They are honest and trustworthy. They are exactly the kind of dedicated workers that our economy needs. Or replace the term with nothing at all. Delete it from your vocabulary. Save the strong-willed talk for your livestock and acknowledge women for their achievements. Offer them well-deserved raises and promotions. Value their achievements and give them a seat at the table before you lose them. You might be surprised what happens when you do.

Gender EqualityFeminismWomenManagementBusiness

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https://medium.com/@meghanbausone?source=footer_card
Meghan Bausone
Medium member since Oct 2017

UX Designer | Women’s Health Advocate

[Cornfed]

For "strong willed" read "selfish parasites". Virtually any female in the workforce who makes more than minimum wage is obscenely overpaid.

[Taco]

[Contrarian Expatriate]

And yet more feminist projecting! Almost every thing they accuse men of in this article, I've seen only women do the same over the years.

Trouble is, upper management and HR always sided with and aided the women to the detriment of men.

By the time I retired, men would sit at staff meetings and be mum. Women would think out loud and every ridiculous verbalized thought was praised and encouraged.

So that is why I consider this article feminist projecting. Saul Alinsky advocated tactics like this in his playbook for agitating for more and more.

I also think this #MeToo campaign is a feminist ploy for more and more for women. I have been groped, flirted with, grabbed, and peppered with sexual jokes by women over the years. I never responded to it and I am glad because looking back these were ploys to get me to commit and exploitable act. #MeToo is just that, a mass exploitation effort to garner more resources for women.

[Adama]

Women were not made for strength, and when you think about it, it makes sense. Their bodies are shorter in stature, their musculature is less developed. They have less strength in their physical body.

And only recently have women been going off to war. But notice it is no longer hand to hand combat like it used to be.

Let's not kid ourselves with this new way of thinking that is based upon fiction. Nowhere is a strong woman considered to be a good thing at all. You've never read in an ancient book somewhere of society's admiration for the strong women. No, men are strong.

So are men supposed to be strong? Well I tell you one thing, nobody likes a weak man. Absolutely no one. If a man has no emotional strength or resilience, then almost every woman will reject him outright and immediately. A weak man is worthless to a woman, because he is the leader. Now you see, men must be strong.

These women think strong means being loud, angry, with attitude, while being inflexible and demanding. What they don't realize is that they have simply rendered themselves useless. Women don't want weak men, and men don't want women with attitude problems. This is not for fear of the "strong woman." It is self preservation and the pursuit of peace and happiness.

The problem is these women have bought into feminist lies because it lifts up their egos. Feminism exalts them, and they love the whole idea of it; that they could be equal to a man in authority. But really because they have exalted themselves, they've forsaken most of what humanity is all about (all those sweet, gentle things about women that make them feminine instead of angry beasts), to exalt themselves in pride, self admiration and self love.

Is feminism penis-envy? No, they want more than to be men. They want to conquer the man and destroy the man. They think they are the Creator and they exalt themselves against Christ by rising up out of their place. The order is God > Christ > Husband > Wife. If she tries to command her husband, she has exalted herself against God Himself. Those poor women, they don't know that society has deceived them into thinking they are equals, and they believed them, to their destruction. Their leaders have destroyed them, and the women themselves would fight against this knowledge.

[Adama]

This is nothing more than a Satanic, feminist false prophetess, leading women astray into this false belief system (feminism), which destroys them. Everyone is to humble himself or herself. Feminism by definition is all about female pride. They really think they are superior through self deception, puffing themselves up by using the vanity of lies.

And the angels which rose out of their place are reserved in everlasting chains. Women cannot exalt themselves against the man. That is pride.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

And yet more feminist projecting! Almost every thing they accuse men of in this article, I've seen only women do the same over the years.

Trouble is, upper management and HR always sided with and aided the women to the detriment of men.

By the time I retired, men would sit at staff meetings and be mum. Women would think out loud and every ridiculous verbalized thought was praised and encouraged.

So that is why I consider this article feminist projecting. Saul Alinsky advocated tactics like this in his playbook for agitating for more and more.

I also think this #MeToo campaign is a feminist ploy for more and more for women. I have been groped, flirted with, grabbed, and peppered with sexual jokes by women over the years. I never responded to it and I am glad because looking back these were ploys to get me to commit and exploitable act. #MeToo is just that, a mass exploitation effort to garner more resources for women.

Ahhhy see there. It takes a high IQ to infer my bait and switch for what it was; notice how I had not put my 2-cents in on the article - merely it was - a copy and paste.
Good worketry (somewhat rhymes with 'symmetry').

[Yohan]

All these hypocritical articles are ALWAYS about female employees and male managers and business owners.

If they were really strong-willed female employees they would not leave, but one of them would be already the manager, and another woman might be not employee but business owner.

I had only one female employer in my life, she took over the business from her father, an old man who was peaceful, avoided any dispute and let all employees - almost all of them women expect me and one other worker - to do whatever they want to do.

---

This changed rapidly after the daughter too over, as first step the wooden door of the executive's office was replaced with a glass door to see better what is going on.

As the next step some women had a bad surprise with their salaries - the time of proven private phonecalls were deducted from the working time, also deducted was missing working time because some ladies disappeared frequently for a 'short while' to buy something without asking permission or to stand outside the office 'just for one cigarette' and a little talk.

Next was a final good-bye letter to two women who came EVERY day too late and left EVERY day too early.

I was surprised, I and another male worker received unexpected a pay rise. You are always here, working all time... she told us...

BTW, the 2 dismissed ladies were replaced by male workers - the number of men/women employees should be about 50/50 she said.

Don't ask me what the remaining female workers said about their new female employer...
During the following months the company was earning much more than ever before, she paid me even a little bonus when I left because of moving away.

It is wrong to presume that a female employer will be always on the side of female employees, solely because both of them share the same gender.
It's the lesson I took.

[JohnDoeBigBaller]

get a job as a plumber, electrician, oil driller, or bug cleaner or garbage man and you won't have to worry about dealing with these bitches. Only MEN work at those jobs.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

It is wrong to presume that a female employer will be always on the side of female employees, solely because both of them share the same gender.

I hear you. But my difficulties were mostly from female subordinates who would try to punch above their weight.

The two occasions I had female bosses, they were clear-thinking and logical and had to be that way to reach those heights.

[Man With a Plan]

All these hypocritical articles are ALWAYS about female employees and male managers and business owners.

If they were really strong-willed female employees they would not leave, but one of them would be already the manager, and another woman might be not employee but business owner.

I had only one female employer in my life, she took over the business from her father, an old man who was peaceful, avoided any dispute and let all employees - almost all of them women expect me and one other worker - to do whatever they want to do.

---

This changed rapidly after the daughter too over, as first step the wooden door of the executive's office was replaced with a glass door to see better what is going on.

As the next step some women had a bad surprise with their salaries - the time of proven private phonecalls were deducted from the working time, also deducted was missing working time because some ladies disappeared frequently for a 'short while' to buy something without asking permission or to stand outside the office 'just for one cigarette' and a little talk.

Next was a final good-bye letter to two women who came EVERY day too late and left EVERY day too early.

I was surprised, I and another male worker received unexpected a pay rise. You are always here, working all time... she told us...

BTW, the 2 dismissed ladies were replaced by male workers - the number of men/women employees should be about 50/50 she said.

Don't ask me what the remaining female workers said about their new female employer...
During the following months the company was earning much more than ever before, she paid me even a little bonus when I left because of moving away.

It is wrong to presume that a female employer will be always on the side of female employees, solely because both of them share the same gender.
It's the lesson I took.

Wow. A positive story and a bit of intelligence from Yohan. I like this change. Please continue it.