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Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

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Winston
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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by Winston » January 5th, 2018, 4:33 am

It's not so much the superficial greetings that bother me, it's having to lie to people and telling them that "I'm doing great" when I'm not. I want to vent my frustration about how hard it is to have any decent dating and social life in the US and how miserable I am. But no one wants to hear it. So I have to lie and tell everyone that everything is great and pretend to be positive. It's this dishonesty and lack of people to share your true feelings with that gets to me. I don't mind superficial greetings alone and am used to them. They are just part of American culture. The people who ask "How are you?" don't mean anything bad by it and have no intentions by it, it's just something they are used to. No ill intention, so no offense taken.

Like the quote from Carl Jung above said, loneliness is the inability to communicate your thoughts and feelings to others because they are taboo. And the inability to express yourself because honesty is not allowed and your true self is not allowed.
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Nailer
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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by Nailer » January 5th, 2018, 6:04 am

What is your true self? A depressed loser? Or can you sometimes be happy? You should share your happy self with the world and only show your sad moments to good friends, and even then it has to be balanced so you aren't a drain on them. Your sad moments should be focused on problem-solving or it is pointless.

Considering that you founded the HA movement and have been abroad a long time, I am not sure why you have still not found happiness.
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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by JesseL26 » January 5th, 2018, 7:23 am

jessieL26 wrote: I know everyone is different and I don't mean to offend anyone but one thing I can't stand is one of my friends he's an introvert I've known him for 13 years and he can't hold a conversation via text or in person unless I initiate. It gets annoying I waste my time texting him stuff cause 95% of it goes unread nor replied to. If I don't text chances are I won't hear from him period. Then he complains he is lonely and has anxiety attacks it's like hello dude you know me for 13 years you can't text me to hang out??? That is one thing I don't get about people like that but again I mean not to offend anyone that has those traits just my experiences and opinions.
That's male "friends" in the chumpzone. My close coworker 'friends' are just fakebook acquaintances now. Even two posters I've met from this site on different countries, they disappeared after meeting and hanging out multiple days. No follow up with "dude, how have you been, thanks for driving me around" none of that, nothing, zilch, just out-of-sight out-of-mind.
I know what you mean. Trying to talk to people like that is like talking to a corpse. They are just zombies if you never message them first or whatever you only hear from them once a year. I know everyone is different and a lot of people don't have social skills. I used to be like that but once I got to know the person very well that social anxiety or shyness went away. Now I am just too damn social LOL I only suck when it comes to trying to flirt and ask a girl out because I get nervous but I do it regardless.

Like I said I have come a long way I couldn't even look at people in the eye. But what I don't understand is people that you have known for years they have been over your house you have hung out many many times and they can never ever message you one day and just have a decent conversation about any topic or sometimes you start the topic and have an amazing conversation with that person but then it abruptly ends because they stop replying in the middle of it they never say excuse me BRB they just stop replying and next time you talk to them they never finish from where they left from it's like you never had that conversation with them.

One of my friends the one I mentioned previously is like that and I have known him since high school I am 31 now. Yet he wants a GF. How can he get a GF if he can't talk to the guy he has known for 13 years and is like a brother...

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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by JesseL26 » January 5th, 2018, 7:27 am

Winston wrote:
January 5th, 2018, 4:33 am
It's not so much the superficial greetings that bother me, it's having to lie to people and telling them that "I'm doing great" when I'm not. I want to vent my frustration about how hard it is to have any decent dating and social life in the US and how miserable I am. But no one wants to hear it. So I have to lie and tell everyone that everything is great and pretend to be positive. It's this dishonesty and lack of people to share your true feelings with that gets to me. I don't mind superficial greetings alone and am used to them. They are just part of American culture. The people who ask "How are you?" don't mean anything bad by it and have no intentions by it, it's just something they are used to. No ill intention, so no offense taken.

Like the quote from Carl Jung above said, loneliness is the inability to communicate your thoughts and feelings to others because they are taboo. And the inability to express yourself because honesty is not allowed and your true self is not allowed.
I tell people when they ask me how are you? Exactly how I am feeling I tell them I am good or I am tired or stressed etc I have no issue expressing my self. The only time I lie and make pretend I am good and say everything is alright is when I am having an issue that is private or is really really bad and I just don't want to talk about it but otherwise I tell them how my day is going. I see nothing wrong with being friendly and social that is how I have made friends at work where a lot of people hate the department I work at except me. One dude said one time this is the only guy from that department that says hi to me. Th e guy respects me and thinks I am down to earth.

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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by Winston » January 5th, 2018, 8:06 am

Nailer wrote:
January 5th, 2018, 6:04 am
What is your true self? A depressed loser? Or can you sometimes be happy? You should share your happy self with the world and only show your sad moments to good friends, and even then it has to be balanced so you aren't a drain on them. Your sad moments should be focused on problem-solving or it is pointless.

Considering that you founded the HA movement and have been abroad a long time, I am not sure why you have still not found happiness.
No. You misunderstand. My true self is the real me. In my case, the real me is a philosopher, playboy, traveler, adventurer, lover, hero, romantic, passionate, etc. That's the true me. As long as I can express myself and be me and feel accepted for who I am, then I am happy and optimized. We all know that. My true self is not happy or sad, it just is what it is.

When I'm in the USA or Taiwan, then of course I am going to be unhappy. I am not allowed to be me. I'm supposed to be a workaholic liberal who doesn't need others and lives to work. That's not me. So America doesn't allow me to be me. I cannot have a good social life or dating life because everyone ignores me in America and I don't fit into cliques and I don't like socially closed countries that are inauthentic. At least in China and Russia, I can be me, the culture and people are authentic so the real me is allowed to come out and express itself.

Of course I have found happiness abroad. Haven't you noticed? I'm only unhappy when I have to come back to USA or Taiwan, which have negative vibes and antisocial people and are socially closed, and where everyone ignores me and women never wanna hang out, etc. Why would I be happy in such countries? If I didn't have to keep coming back to Taiwan or America, I would be mostly happy and alive abroad.

Ask my friends who have met me in the Philippines and hung out with me there, such as Zboy1, Falcon or Rock. They will tell you that I look very alive, vibrant and happy there with a glow and spark on my face.

Or look at my playlist of short videos of me in Russia, linked in my signature below. There you will see over 60 videos of me looking alive and happy in Russia. They are total proof and all the proof in the world that YES I am happier abroad.

So I don't understand your question. It makes no sense. My happiness depends on location. I am not happy in USA or Taiwan. But I am happy in some countries that have more positive energy, like Philippines for instance. My photos and videos show that and prove that. Comprende? Kapish?

That's always been my position and claim, and it's never changed. So what are you talking about? Right now I'm in Taiwan so of course I'm not happy. This is a social hell and socially stuck up place where women are super cold, closed, repressed, antisocial, and exude negative vibes and bad energy. And where women do not show me any hospitality and never want to hang out or show me around. Where everything is upside down and one is not allowed to be confident or assertive. Etc. I simply do not vibe with people who are super reserved and repressed. People like that make me uncomfortable. They are weird and have weird vibes. So how the hell am I supposed to be happy in Taiwan when everything it is and everything I am are in contradiction and diametrically opposed?! DUH!

Don't you get it? I have to be in a country I'm at least somewhat compatible with and have some chemistry with to be happy. That's been my focal point of Happier Abroad. It hasn't changed since 2002 when I started writing online about HA. So what's your point? Isn't all this obvious and consistent?

Therefore, if you ask me "how are you" when I'm in the US or Taiwan, of course I want to tell you that I'm unhappy and miserable, because that's the truth. If you ask me the same question when I'm in a fun friendly place like Angeles City or Europe or Russia or China, then I will be glad to honestly give a different answer, such as "I'm doing good" etc. Understand? Comprehnde? Kapish? I simply don't like to be dishonest or fake. That's all I'm saying. Simple as that.
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Nailer
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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by Nailer » January 5th, 2018, 6:40 pm

If you do not like Taiwan then you should leave. If you are temporarily unable to do so, then just work towards your goal and endure your time there while you must. The purpose of complaining is to find answers. You know the answers already, so the only thing to do is keep your head down and wait it out. If someone asks how you are, make the minimal socially acceptable answer that requires the least amount of effort and be on your way.
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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by S_Parc » January 5th, 2018, 8:02 pm

Ppl, here's the flip side to the superficial friendliness of Americans ... constant road rage.

Yes, if ppl, & in my situation New Englanders, didn't pretend to project a false sense of being nice & congenial, you'd have a society of ppl always yelling at each other and starting fights, kinda like junior high school but with adults rather than brats.

Instead, we have a polite society where everyone respects one another's boundaries and yes, temporarily, we help each other out as during the last winter storm where random strangers assisted each other w/ stuck vehicles and old ppl who couldn't shovel.

What this does is force ppl to start clubs, associations, churches, etc, where those of like minds, meet up. So far, the only hermits I'd met in the greater Boston area were those with long term dementia or who were so miserable, that just being around them makes one depressed.
Many years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by Winston » January 9th, 2018, 8:44 am

Nailer wrote:
January 5th, 2018, 6:40 pm
If you do not like Taiwan then you should leave. If you are temporarily unable to do so, then just work towards your goal and endure your time there while you must. The purpose of complaining is to find answers. You know the answers already, so the only thing to do is keep your head down and wait it out. If someone asks how you are, make the minimal socially acceptable answer that requires the least amount of effort and be on your way.
Well duh. No shit sherlock. What do you think I've been trying to do for the last 6 months? But as usual, the universe keeps finding 101 reasons to delay me and make me suffer in Taiwan. As if its my curse. If i had free will to leave i wouldn't stay. Duh! What pisses me off is that the universe keeps me here against my will. As if supernatural forces are involved. As if i have to pay my dues to energy parasites that feed off me or a karmic debt or suffer chastisement from deities or something.

Why else would some invisible wall keep blocking me from leaving?! I already hate everything about this dying cursed god forsaken island. Its gotta be the worst place in the world! You cant even go out because the energy here is so damn negative, even if i did have friends here.

As @Bao3niang recently said, taiwanese have this extreme meekness thats annoying and this bland dry personality that cowers away from any deep meaningful discussion. Its an upside down antimatter universe that sucks your soul energy and makes you weak and depressed and repressed. Taiwan is your enemy for sure if youre an authentic open confident soulful person. It literally tries to destroy you energetically.

As @Falcon said, the vibe from people is very weird in Taiwan. I dislike it. Its very twisted and negative. They are super repressed, reserved, closed and cold. And filled with too much shame, guilt, fear and self hatred. It creates a very bad vibe for sure. Something about them is very upside down and unnatural. They have no opinions or thoughts of their own and cannot make any observations, as bao3niang noted too. All they can do is say what they are supposed to say and do what they are supposed to do. So even the nerdy guys here with glasses are not smart at all, as bao3niang observed. They cannot say anything intelligent or meaningful. Its total retard land with a hive mind.

When they find out I'm different from them and have opinions and am not afraid to speak my mind, taiwanese are intimidated and avoid me and shy away and treat me like the plague. Because i represent something very authentic and free that they can never be. They also cant tolerate anyone who says anything negative about Taiwan, as if im only allowed to say positive things about it. When i violate this rule against free speech, they get weirded out and avoid me like the plague. Why cant i say negative things about such a negative country?

Taiwanese are such pitiful creatures i swear. Only upside down inverted weirdos from bizarro world like @Rock and @Monkro like Taiwan. Even @momopi deep down knows that all i say is true. Its just that like typical taiwanese he is not allowed to have opinions or observations. Notice how in his posts here he just cites facts and information only but never any insights or opinions or observations. Well thats the taiwanese type personality of never having any opinions. See what i mean? See how alienated i am in such a friggin zombie land like taiwan?

So why would God or deities or higher forces want me to stay somewhere i dont even belong? You tell me.

Btw i was about to leave Taiwan this weekend and take my parents to visit China. We were all set to go. Then a typhoon and rainstorm came and hit all of southern Asia, so my parents didnt want to go until the rain stopped. Otherwise I wouldn't still be here. Go figure. @El_Caudillo said that it must be Murphy's law again. Now he sees what i mean. The universe always finds 101 reasons to trap me in Taiwan like a curse. It loves to give me the opposite of what i like and put me in places i dont belong so it can see me suffer.

You make sense out of it if you want. Im tired of trying to.
Check out my fun video clips in Russia and video series Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind and Full Russia Trip Videos!

See my HA Ebook and Join Our Dating Sites to support us!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

Nailer
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Re: Phony Anglosphere (especially American) friendliness

Post by Nailer » January 22nd, 2018, 5:04 am

I believe your inability to leave Taiwan consistently in the last six months is due to personal laziness or personal choices. Has there not been a flight out during the last six months? Did the border shut down? If not, you only have yourself to blame, or you made a rational choice based on current circumstances.
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