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In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

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Mercury
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In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by Mercury » January 27th, 2018, 9:49 pm

It hurts when friends move away. Especially when it's a long distance move and you know you will never see that friend for the rest of your whole life.

And yet you are expected to be happy for that person. In other words, be happy that you will never see that person for the rest of your life. The friendship is over, it's time to cut that person out of your life, stay permanently away from that person, don't ever try to contact that person ever again.

The cold truth is, America's goal is to brainwash all guys especially into living happily as hermits. Isolated from the community and without friends. It's no wonder when a guy especially becomes depressed and sad due to isolation, he is isolated a whole lot more and put on drugs. America has become a "drugs, not hugs" culture.

AkitaMan
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Re: In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by AkitaMan » January 28th, 2018, 1:21 am

I take it a close friend will move soon, or already has. That's never easy. But I don't see it as an American plot to force men into solitude.

Although we hate to see our friends go, we realize that people evolve in ways that sometimes includes a move to a far-off land. As their friend, we give them that space. That's why when a close coworker leaves, the card usually usually says something like, "I'm sad to see you go, but I'm happy for your new opportunity."

Since this board's premise is about men wanting to go abroad, we'll want this same space when it's our time to leave.

When I left the US in the 90s, I wrote letters and sent email. Now there's Skype and other great technologies that reduce the distance even more.

MatureDJ
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Re: In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by MatureDJ » January 28th, 2018, 11:18 am

Eh, it's life. Think of how bad it would be in the heroin-infused hillbilly towns if everyone stayed around unemployed.

TD-40
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Re: In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by TD-40 » January 28th, 2018, 2:56 pm

What if it were the opposite and nobody went anywhere, did anything, or progressed in their lives? Only in third world countries do people stay close to home all the time.

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Zambales
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Re: In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by Zambales » January 28th, 2018, 7:38 pm

Unless your friend has re-located to the moon, OP, you can't say for certain that you'll never ever see them again. They'll probably return for a visit anyway. If not, what's stopping you making a trip to where they reside?

Mercury
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Re: In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by Mercury » January 30th, 2018, 6:25 pm

Zambales wrote:
January 28th, 2018, 7:38 pm
Unless your friend has re-located to the moon, OP, you can't say for certain that you'll never ever see them again. They'll probably return for a visit anyway. If not, what's stopping you making a trip to where they reside?
You most certainly CAN say that you will never see them again. Even if the move is as little as 75 miles, you can easily expect to never see them for the rest of your life; yes, as if they passed away last night. If it's especially 150 miles or more, forget about even planning a get together even 40 years in advance. As I have said before, Americans live to work. Nobody even takes vacation time anymore; Americans today work from dawn to midnight 365 days a year.

I also need to point out, once again, that friendships in America are fake, superficial, and fleeting, really no more than just a façade. As in only a front wall that is made for show. No roof, no side walls, no solid foundation either, and a wind of as low as 35 miles an hour can break that wall right off at the base and send it falling over backwards.

traveller
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Re: In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by traveller » June 4th, 2018, 7:01 pm

Long-distance moves are exactly the same as death.

It totally hurts like death when a friend moves long distance. And I agree with Mercury; when a friend moves long distance, it is normal and even expected that you will never, ever see that friend for the rest of your life as if that friend had already died. And it hurts even more when;

1, you miss the "wake/funeral" (going away party, her last day at your favorite bar/restaurant, etc),

2, they interrupt your goodbye by telling you they'll be back to visit, like a, they totally underestimate the destructive separating power of long distance, b, even 5 years on the road is nothing to them, or c, they have already planned for the next 70 years,

or 3, they put up walls and become total strangers.

For example, the distance between Fort Myers, Florida and Colorado Springs, Colorado is 988,571 miles. It would take roughly 2 years of nonstop driving to drive that huge, long distance. Even God Almighty Himself could never handle a road trip from Colorado to Florida.

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Yohan
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Re: In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by Yohan » June 5th, 2018, 1:34 am

AkitaMan wrote:
January 28th, 2018, 1:21 am
When I left the US in the 90s, I wrote letters and sent email. Now there's Skype and other great technologies that reduce the distance even more.
A long time ago it was very costly to talk by phone, however people could send letters, small parcels and postcards all the time to keep in touch.

It is now much easier to keep contact with people who moved to elsewhere as internet and cheap phone connection are almost everywhere available now.

It is now also easy to go home to your native country for a short visit after your move to overseas - there are so many airplanes from and to any direction.
by Zambales » Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:38 am
Unless your friend has re-located to the moon, OP, you can't say for certain that you'll never ever see them again. They'll probably return for a visit anyway. If not, what's stopping you making a trip to where they reside?
I noticed a boom of contacts after my retirement last year. As most of those friends and co-workers are of same age as I myself and retired about at the same time as I did, they have now also much more time to travel around and airplanes are cheap. My first visitors I have not seen for many years arrived already from Europe to Asia for our personal meeting.

To move to overseas is not like a funeral. Such a comparison sounds rather exaggerated for me IF you want to stay in touch with certain people after moving away.

The question is more about IF you really want to stay in contact or prefer to forget about them and prefer a new clean start in a new place with entire new people.

traveller
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Re: In America, you are expected to be happy for someone moving away.

Post by traveller » June 5th, 2018, 3:07 am

Yohan wrote:
June 5th, 2018, 1:34 am


To move to overseas is not like a funeral. Such a comparison sounds rather exaggerated for me IF you want to stay in touch with certain people after moving away.

The question is more about IF you really want to stay in contact or prefer to forget about them and prefer a new clean start in a new place with entire new people.
Yohan, I lost a favorite bartender earlier this year as she moved to Tampa Bay. And Tampa Bay is at least a 14 hour drive from Fort Myers. Used to work at the Indigo Room. As bartenders there only last about 6 weeks there on average due to a harsh boss (she lasted 13 months, which is easily a record), if humans lived forever, the next time I would set foot in the Indigo Room would be for my 1,800th birthday.

Even a move from Fort Myers to Tampa is still a funeral. She's never going to have the time, money, and energy to drive 14 hours from Tampa Bay all the way down to Fort Myers and take me out for lunch.

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