Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.



View Active Topics       View Your Posts       Latest 100 Topics       FAQ Topics       Mobile Friendly Theme


One reason for arranged marrages

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond

tom
Junior Poster
Posts: 553
Joined: November 9th, 2007, 11:40 pm

One reason for arranged marrages

Post by tom » April 8th, 2018, 7:54 pm

Often arranged marriages were done among upper classes. One practical reason is female hypergamy. Women always want to marry up but if daughter is from wealth to start with she will have very few choices yet face fierce competition for the few choices she had. Often such women would wind up childless and without a man especially in the past if they did not have help. So to ensure the family linage marriages were arranged out of a practical need.

Jonny Law
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1076
Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by Jonny Law » April 8th, 2018, 7:57 pm

One reason for arranged marriages
1 .They work
The lowest divorce rates in the world are in cultures with high rates of arranged marriages such as Amish culture of United States (1%), Hindus of India (3%), and Ultra-Orthodox Jews of Israel (7%).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage

User avatar
jamesbond
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 8223
Joined: August 25th, 2007, 6:45 pm
Location: USA

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by jamesbond » April 9th, 2018, 4:33 am

Jonny Law wrote:
April 8th, 2018, 7:57 pm
One reason for arranged marriages
1 .They work
The lowest divorce rates in the world are in cultures with high rates of arranged marriages such as Amish culture of United States (1%), Hindus of India (3%), and Ultra-Orthodox Jews of Israel (7%).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage
Isn't it interesting that arranged marriages have the lowest divorce rates in the world? This fact has been true for hundreds of years.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."

User avatar
Master
Freshman Poster
Posts: 495
Joined: December 22nd, 2007, 7:56 am
Location: Insane Asylum, Strip Joints, Playboy Mansion, Public Enemies List No.1, Harley Quinn's Heart
Contact:

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by Master » April 9th, 2018, 10:03 am

arrange marriages are for slaves. They dont leave because they have nowhere else to go. The family force them like cattle so where they going to run to? Especially if the entire family relies on that existence of an unhappy unnatural marriage?

Also many of these men cheat on these women constantly and most of these women cant do anything about it and no they cant have a lover the husband will divorce them and take all his wealth with him so he can cheat with impunity and pass her all his well transmitted stds and she cant do a damn about it. What a happy family!
Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos.
Become An Agent of Choas.

Image

User avatar
publicduende
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 3166
Joined: November 30th, 2011, 6:20 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by publicduende » April 9th, 2018, 11:48 am

Jonny Law wrote:
April 8th, 2018, 7:57 pm
One reason for arranged marriages
1 .They work
The lowest divorce rates in the world are in cultures with high rates of arranged marriages such as Amish culture of United States (1%), Hindus of India (3%), and Ultra-Orthodox Jews of Israel (7%).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage
Of course nobody will ever tell you if these marriages work because the couple keeps loving each other, or because, in those same cultures, separation and divorce are seen as taboos, the inlaws and always involved and would never approve the financial disaster that would derive from a legal demise of the marriage contract, etc.

An arranged marriage might look more solid than most, at face value but isn't necessarily a more successful or a happier one.

S_Parc
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2452
Joined: November 12th, 2010, 8:01 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by S_Parc » April 9th, 2018, 7:25 pm

publicduende wrote:
April 9th, 2018, 11:48 am
An arranged marriage might look more solid than most, at face value but isn't necessarily a more successful or a happier one.
I think in older times, it allowed ppl to focus on what they wanted to do, instead of expecting it to come from the closeness/intimacy of a relationship.

So for women, it may be weaving, pottery, or gardening and for the guy, woodwork, swordsmanship, or just plain drinking beer.

In the end, since a lot of ppl don't really love each other long term anyways, perhaps it's not a bad workaround for the average Joe/Jane.
Many years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.

MattHanson1990
Junior Poster
Posts: 779
Joined: June 19th, 2014, 7:47 am

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by MattHanson1990 » April 9th, 2018, 11:30 pm

tom wrote:
April 8th, 2018, 7:54 pm
Often arranged marriages were done among upper classes. One practical reason is female hypergamy.
Arranged dating and marriages have been done to keep hypergamy in check and to prevent slutting around. But feminism considers arranged marriages to be sexist, overly conservative, and backwards. And women nowadays are promiscuous, although they only sleep with Chads and/or Tyrones, and don't look to settle until after they're done riding the carousel and looking for a beta sucker to wife them up and pay for their mistakes.

User avatar
publicduende
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 3166
Joined: November 30th, 2011, 6:20 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by publicduende » April 10th, 2018, 2:48 am

S_Parc wrote:
April 9th, 2018, 7:25 pm
publicduende wrote:
April 9th, 2018, 11:48 am
An arranged marriage might look more solid than most, at face value but isn't necessarily a more successful or a happier one.
I think in older times, it allowed ppl to focus on what they wanted to do, instead of expecting it to come from the closeness/intimacy of a relationship.

So for women, it may be weaving, pottery, or gardening and for the guy, woodwork, swordsmanship, or just plain drinking beer.

In the end, since a lot of ppl don't really love each other long term anyways, perhaps it's not a bad workaround for the average Joe/Jane.
There's truth in that, Sergeant. So much stress is dodged if one does not have to worry about finding their soulmate. I know quite a lot of middle and upper class families in India still resort to semi-arranged marriages. On one hand, it might sound weird - to a Western ear at least - that a boy or a girl be deprived of the excitement and the challenges of dating, falling in love, failing and ultimately settling for a stable relationship...some of the very things that we guys consider a sign or proof of coming of age.

When I was studying for my Masters in London I almost fell for one of my cohort mates, a very cute Indian girl called Chitra...I was impressed by her grace, her smarts and her very generous chest (in no particular order!). She kind of fell something for me and one evening we almost ended fooling with each other. Then a big "no" ensued and, to my pretty legit protests, she told me her family had planned for her to get married as soon as she would finish her degree and be back to India.

Since her family was "not so conservative", she was given a whopping choice of FOUR boys to choose from. Wow! She confessed me they were all family friends' sons and she didn't fancy any of them particularly. Yet, she knew her family knew best and it didn't even cross her mind, to contravene their instructions. Years later I caught up with her on FB and she was married with a chubby, overgrown-child-looking guy who - at least judging from the wedding shots copiously ornamenting their timelines - didn't have a clue of what was going on, and what he was supposed to do next. But well, weren't the Indians those who would give every clueless young couple a copy of the Kamasutra? :-)

I also have other examples of friends from India, China and even South Korea who skipped the dating bit altogether, focusing on their careers, building semi-successful start-ups or simply enjoying their nights out with their friends. In one case this Chinese young guy had money and a really nice pad in a terrific part of London, courtesy of his family. He was technically finishing up his PhD in Molecular Biology and using his free time to s*ag any fellow Asian girl in sight. Yet, as he told me, he knew full well that the girl who would become his wife would be chosen by his parents as soon as his time would be up and he would wind back home.

Maybe I am thinking like a Westerner here, but despite all the pain, the frustration and the royal amount of time (and money!) wasted, I would never trade, well, "the trade" of getting to know your potential future gf/fiancee/wife for free time and peace of mind.

S_Parc
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2452
Joined: November 12th, 2010, 8:01 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by S_Parc » April 10th, 2018, 5:45 am

publicduende wrote:
April 10th, 2018, 2:48 am
S_Parc wrote:
April 9th, 2018, 7:25 pm
I think in older times, it allowed ppl to focus on what they wanted to do, instead of expecting it to come from the closeness/intimacy of a relationship.

So for women, it may be weaving, pottery, or gardening and for the guy, woodwork, swordsmanship, or just plain drinking beer.

In the end, since a lot of ppl don't really love each other long term anyways, perhaps it's not a bad workaround for the average Joe/Jane.
There's truth in that, Sergeant. So much stress is dodged if one does not have to worry about finding their soulmate. I know quite a lot of middle and upper class families in India still resort to semi-arranged marriages. On one hand, it might sound weird - to a Western ear at least - that a boy or a girl be deprived of the excitement and the challenges of dating, falling in love, failing and ultimately settling for a stable relationship...some of the very things that we guys consider a sign or proof of coming of age.

When I was studying for my Masters in London I almost fell for one of my cohort mates, a very cute Indian girl called Chitra...I was impressed by her grace, her smarts and her very generous chest (in no particular order!). She kind of fell something for me and one evening we almost ended fooling with each other. Then a big "no" ensued and, to my pretty legit protests, she told me her family had planned for her to get married as soon as she would finish her degree and be back to India.

Since her family was "not so conservative", she was given a whopping choice of FOUR boys to choose from. Wow! She confessed me they were all family friends' sons and she didn't fancy any of them particularly. Yet, she knew her family knew best and it didn't even cross her mind, to contravene their instructions. Years later I caught up with her on FB and she was married with a chubby, overgrown-child-looking guy who - at least judging from the wedding shots copiously ornamenting their timelines - didn't have a clue of what was going on, and what he was supposed to do next. But well, weren't the Indians those who would give every clueless young couple a copy of the Kamasutra? :-)

I also have other examples of friends from India, China and even South Korea who skipped the dating bit altogether, focusing on their careers, building semi-successful start-ups or simply enjoying their nights out with their friends. In one case this Chinese young guy had money and a really nice pad in a terrific part of London, courtesy of his family. He was technically finishing up his PhD in Molecular Biology and using his free time to s*ag any fellow Asian girl in sight. Yet, as he told me, he knew full well that the girl who would become his wife would be chosen by his parents as soon as his time would be up and he would wind back home.

Maybe I am thinking like a Westerner here, but despite all the pain, the frustration and the royal amount of time (and money!) wasted, I would never trade, well, "the trade" of getting to know your potential future gf/fiancee/wife for free time and peace of mind.
I'm having a hard time putting this into essay format but didn't Mel and I ... forget about finding soulmates, and just hung out with each other as best of friends until we sort of realized that we were each other's soulmate?

I mean really... the only difference we really had to work out was our sexual orientation & for me, it was always some form of Menage-a-Trios 8) , so it wasn't an issue.

The problem is that for us westerners, it's like we either discover a lottery ticket :D , or we discover nothing :? , at the end of the pipeline.
Many years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.

tom
Junior Poster
Posts: 553
Joined: November 9th, 2007, 11:40 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by tom » April 13th, 2018, 8:29 am

The idea of romantic love being the primary way to choose a partner is very resent. I my opinion much of main stream media consistently indulges female vice. Many common female habits today were the exclusive domain of prostitutes a century ago. Women are consistently encouraged feed there vice, the 7 deadly sins in a Catholic notion that was inherited from the Greeks.
Self destructive female attitudes are actively & consistently encouraged by mainstream media
Gluttony: Fat acceptance
Lust/fornication: Women behaving in action and materially like prostitutes, no shame for hypergamy
Avarice/greed: Women encouraged to feel no shame in "having it all"
Pride/hubris: Women are never wrong, men/boys are always bumbling idiots
Sorrow/despair/despondency: Victim Olympics, resentment studies in college
Wrath anger: The celebrated typical SJW social justice warrior
Excessive vanity: Mainstream culture is soaked in the ego pumping female vanity
Sloth/laziness: This is something that is not so much directly taught but its more by omission focusing on resentment of the industriousness of others, especially men.

The idea of you might need protection and guidance against your impulsive long term self destructive nature is rejected by modern feminism, especially something like an arranged marriage. With the typical family formation catastrophically failing over 50% of the time and continuing to rise is not a bug but a feature of feminism.

Jonny Law
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1076
Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by Jonny Law » April 13th, 2018, 9:46 pm

publicduende wrote:
April 9th, 2018, 11:48 am
Jonny Law wrote:
April 8th, 2018, 7:57 pm
One reason for arranged marriages
1 .They work
The lowest divorce rates in the world are in cultures with high rates of arranged marriages such as Amish culture of United States (1%), Hindus of India (3%), and Ultra-Orthodox Jews of Israel (7%).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage
Of course nobody will ever tell you if these marriages work because the couple keeps loving each other, or because, in those same cultures, separation and divorce are seen as taboos, the inlaws and always involved and would never approve the financial disaster that would derive from a legal demise of the marriage contract, etc.

An arranged marriage might look more solid than most, at face value but isn't necessarily a more successful or a happier one.
NO!

These arranged marriages happen in the same "culture" and "geographical area" as non-arranged marriages
They women have the same laws and legal protections.

Arranged Marriages
IT WORKS
DEAL WITH IT

WARNING MALE FEMINISTS MAY GET SAND IN THEIR MAN-VAGINAs AFTER UNDERSTANDING ARRANGED MARRIAGES WORK.

AkitaMan
Freshman Poster
Posts: 24
Joined: October 9th, 2017, 11:34 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by AkitaMan » April 18th, 2018, 6:10 am

Good point about divorce rates not being an indicator of a successful marriage. A lot of people in arranged marriages are basically stuck with each other.

Seen in that light, a portion of the West's higher divorce rates represents liberation from a lifetime of being stuck in a hellish marriage. That's a positive thing when it's done for the right reasons, but there's clearly a problem when around half of marriages will end in divorce.

I like the idea of dropping romantic love from the mate selection process, because it's too delusional. I'd like to see the involvement of professional matchmakers (I'd want mine to have a relevant degree and some expertise in marriage).

User avatar
Yohan
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2807
Joined: April 3rd, 2014, 6:05 am
Location: Tokyo, JAPAN

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by Yohan » April 18th, 2018, 6:43 am

In most cases nowadays the term 'arranged marriage' is exaggerated.

Arranged marriage has something in it which means 'being forced' - for both, the bride and the groom.
It's not always that the woman is forced into marriage, men are forced too, for example in India by their mothers to accept a bride they have chosen for him.

However nowadays it's more about introduction. Also here in Japan. Nobody is forced, but it is difficult to approach women directly as a man, women also have a similar feelings and will not approach men directly despite they want to talk to each other.

Making new personal contacts in Asian countries like Japan or Malaysia are often based on gossip among women and acting in a group, leading to introduction of a possible future couple.

It's not an 'arranged marriage', but introduction of unknown people coming in from people you know already and who know you is working better than dating totally unknown people often using by rather questionable social media I think.

There are also certain Asian matchmaking services for people who do not have relatives or friends available, and such services are not cheap and they charge both, men and women for signing up and who are ready for introduction and they screen their members often and carefully to reject scammers and braggarts.

Meetings are arranged, but marriage itself is not arranged. It's not 'forced'.

Jonny Law
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1076
Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by Jonny Law » April 18th, 2018, 10:29 pm

AkitaMan wrote:
April 18th, 2018, 6:10 am
Good point about divorce rates not being an indicator of a successful marriage. A lot of people in arranged marriages are basically stuck with each other.

Seen in that light, a portion of the West's higher divorce rates represents liberation from a lifetime of being stuck in a hellish marriage. That's a positive thing when it's done for the right reasons, but there's clearly a problem when around half of marriages will end in divorce.

I like the idea of dropping romantic love from the mate selection process, because it's too delusional. I'd like to see the involvement of professional matchmakers (I'd want mine to have a relevant degree and some expertise in marriage).
Divorce Rate: Not just a good indicator it is the best indicator of a "successful marriage".
"Good point about divorce rates not being an indicator of a successful marriage."

BULLSHIT!
"A lot of people in arranged marriages are basically stuck with each other."
Couples in Arranged Marriages are under the same Laws and Protections as Non-Arranged Marriages.

:twisted: Warning Male Feminists Hate Arranged Marriages.

User avatar
Adama
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 5996
Joined: August 23rd, 2009, 10:37 pm

Re: One reason for arranged marrages

Post by Adama » April 19th, 2018, 12:39 am

tom wrote:
April 13th, 2018, 8:29 am
The idea of romantic love being the primary way to choose a partner is very resent. I my opinion much of main stream media consistently indulges female vice. Many common female habits today were the exclusive domain of prostitutes a century ago. Women are consistently encouraged feed there vice, the 7 deadly sins in a Catholic notion that was inherited from the Greeks.
Self destructive female attitudes are actively & consistently encouraged by mainstream media
Gluttony: Fat acceptance
Lust/fornication: Women behaving in action and materially like prostitutes, no shame for hypergamy
Avarice/greed: Women encouraged to feel no shame in "having it all"
Pride/hubris: Women are never wrong, men/boys are always bumbling idiots
Sorrow/despair/despondency: Victim Olympics, resentment studies in college
Wrath anger: The celebrated typical SJW social justice warrior
Excessive vanity: Mainstream culture is soaked in the ego pumping female vanity
Sloth/laziness: This is something that is not so much directly taught but its more by omission focusing on resentment of the industriousness of others, especially men.

The idea of you might need protection and guidance against your impulsive long term self destructive nature is rejected by modern feminism, especially something like an arranged marriage. With the typical family formation catastrophically failing over 50% of the time and continuing to rise is not a bug but a feature of feminism.
I mostly agree with you. You ever read the Bible? In one example, Caleb tells a group of men, something like, Whoever wins this battle can have my daughter as his wife. In other words, Caleb simply chose his daugher's husband based upon the man doing something for him.

Another story, Saul, Israel's first king before David, told David that, if he were to kill a certain number of Philistine enemies (with proof), that he would give David one of his daughters.

Same with Jacob marrying Leah and Rachel. Same with Moses's first wife.

What does that tell you about marriage?

You are especially right about that list, but few are able to accept it. Evil women who are in relationships now flirt (lust) to inflate their egos. They dress lower than prostitutes do. They are completely in love with themselves and will not honor their male partners or men period. Don't expect them to try to please you or lift a finger for you, as they really have deceived themselves into thinking that men were made to serve them.

In other words, they have turned the natural use into that which is against nature, just like homosexuals. They are set on those things which are inconvenient, as Apostle Paul would tell us. They have perverted their natural use, to become lords over men, when they made to serve men.

That's why feminists hate the Bible and real Christianity. But that just means that they'll see eternal destruction (and it is over one billion times worse than the obvious description written), for serving themselves as gods (to follow their own will instead of God's Will), rather than submitting and humbling themselves to obey Christ.

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “General Discussions”