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How is it possible to be "extroverted" in the modern world?

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Nailer
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Joined: December 19th, 2016, 1:12 am

How is it possible to be "extroverted" in the modern world?

Post by Nailer » August 3rd, 2018, 5:53 pm

Oftentimes guys get blamed for being "introverted". With a few exceptions of places I know I can go and have a good time, it does not appear to me that modern life has any social outlets at all. I see cute girls walking around on the street everywhere, but I never see people talking to strangers in public. Everyone goes about their business silently, and it is clear that talking to strangers is a huge taboo. The only people who might talk to you are salespeople or people trying to scam you.

If you go to a bar you are not supposed to talk to other groups of people. You are supposed to leave them alone and respect their privacy.

If you go to a park you are not supposed to bother other people.

If you go to some kind of social club, only a small subsection of the population will show up, like 25 people in a city of four million.

This is not a U.S. phenomenon. Europe is the same way, probably worse.

It is very easy to live in a large city and be completely alone, surrounded by people at all times. I find it very unnerving. It is not just me. I NEVER see two strangers interact. I can't even imagine how it would occur, except in a few beach communities I know of.

I understand that I need to initiate conversations with other people, but shouldn't I only have to initiate 50% of those conversations? If zero interactions are occurring between me and others, and I also see zero interactions occurring between other people, what does that tell you about the social norms of life in a big city?
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gsjackson
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Re: How is it possible to be "extroverted" in the modern world?

Post by gsjackson » August 4th, 2018, 6:01 pm

Nailer wrote:
August 3rd, 2018, 5:53 pm
Oftentimes guys get blamed for being "introverted". With a few exceptions of places I know I can go and have a good time, it does not appear to me that modern life has any social outlets at all. I see cute girls walking around on the street everywhere, but I never see people talking to strangers in public. Everyone goes about their business silently, and it is clear that talking to strangers is a huge taboo. The only people who might talk to you are salespeople or people trying to scam you.

If you go to a bar you are not supposed to talk to other groups of people. You are supposed to leave them alone and respect their privacy.

If you go to a park you are not supposed to bother other people.

If you go to some kind of social club, only a small subsection of the population will show up, like 25 people in a city of four million.

This is not a U.S. phenomenon. Europe is the same way, probably worse.

It is very easy to live in a large city and be completely alone, surrounded by people at all times. I find it very unnerving. It is not just me. I NEVER see two strangers interact. I can't even imagine how it would occur, except in a few beach communities I know of.

I understand that I need to initiate conversations with other people, but shouldn't I only have to initiate 50% of those conversations? If zero interactions are occurring between me and others, and I also see zero interactions occurring between other people, what does that tell you about the social norms of life in a big city?
And you're young. When you get older hardly anyone will initiate a conversation who doesn't want your money.

But then, that may just be changing times. When I was young the U.S. wasn't a culture completely paranoid about talking to strangers. Then too, it wasn't a culture consisting almost entirely of brain-dead narcissists -- by way of explaining the paranoia. Don't know what to tell you, except amen.

Wolfeye
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Joined: December 29th, 2013, 7:18 am

Re: How is it possible to be "extroverted" in the modern world?

Post by Wolfeye » August 4th, 2018, 8:18 pm

America has a strong sense of what's appropriate, no matter how much of a rebel they're portrayed in movies or how little social grace they have in real life. They're usually like a little Puritan, but dialed down. Germans & English are the best comparisons (and the cultural heritage of the place).

They're not okay with liking something, either. They definitely have what's called a "negative identity." This causes a lotmofnprovlems, but also keeps a lot of problems from being fixed.

Narcissism is included in this, whether it's the root of it or not, I don't know. The only thing they'll take any risk for is their image. Too bad the country working like shit doesn't register as an image detriment to them.

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