Why some men attract women, and others don't.

[CyX]

Hi group,

I've been reading posts on here and I've discovered a common line of reasoning: Only a small percentage of men can attract girls because they're the movie stars / models / jocks / tough guys, whatever. And, the 95% of us lead lives of forced celibacy... That is, unless you go to some other country where the women want some exotic American ass.

Well I'm going to introduce a different concept, maybe the 5% know things you don't. Maybe it's not a hopeless hand of cards life dealt you, but rather it's your own fault for not refining yourself to become the high value, high status male that women want to have sweep them off their feet.

The phenomenon of a small percent of men getting laid, and the rest of us are clueless chumps, is true. But, it's not because of things you can't help, like you're not good looking enough, you don't make enough money, or other misconceptions that we tell ourselves... Guys, this is BS... It's just excuses you create to avoid responsibility... and I am seeing a LOT of that on this forum, I'm sorry to say.

There are three big factors of why you're not getting any booty calls

1.) Men believe they must be "themselves" so they don't pay attention to their blunders.

If you're socially conscious about coming off like a creep desperate for sex, then that's the first step to correcting that problem, and probably the start of a million bad habits you must recognize and eliminate... step outside your comfort zone and start getting to work on yourself... it's about being your best self, not your status quo loser self.

2.) Men raise women to pedestals.

Attraction, dating, sex, etc are all aspects of a human relationship which includes a lot of things... Friendship, anger, companionship, passion, sadness, etc. You cannot experience any of those things with somebody unless you are close to them or have built comfort. You cannot become close to somebody, or build comfort, if you place somebody on a pedestal and throw flowers at their feet. Women want authenticity, not man-servants. As soon as you BELIEVE the women you want are high status and you must beg for a piece of their affection, then you are playing into a huge system they have unconsciously created to weed out insecure, needy men who comprise the losers who are always around them, trying to get some of their love and affection.

Treat the next woman you're attracted to more like your little sister. Tease them and joke a lot. Never compliment them outright and don't be afraid to be more forward when you are flirting. Then watch the huge difference. (Edit: The flirting part is obviously not how you treat your little sister. But the rest should be.)

3.) Men are afraid to step outside the comfort zone socially.

We are extremely self conscious about ourselves and meeting new people, this is why people huddle in cliques... It's true, although I've barely left the country, I understand from people I've met that this is worse in the USA. We cling to small tribes of people that we know accept us socially. We are paranoid, because of pop culture, that if we are not a hunky celebrity, people won't like us. Guess what? So long as you live in your bubble, you're never going to meet new people, and you will develop an unfriendly, paranoid personality. You must drag yourself by your own hair and force yourself to talk to groups of people at clubs and bars, until it becomes natural.

4.) Men AND Women don't take care of themselves.

There's a reason why in America only a small percent of women are attractive, independent and with sexy personalities that all the chump males desperately want, and it's because only a small percent of both men AND women in this country actually make an effort to improve themselves.

I am CONVINCED that with a proper diet of no smoking, no fast food, balanced meals that don't hurt your skin and body, daily exercise and exceptional grooming and fashion that helps convey your personality, ANYBODY can be hot. But, this requires a lifestyle change and dedication. The people who are willing to put time into this are generally the succesful high status men that women want, and visa versa. See the picture?

So why these narrow margins? Because people don't realize how they can become their best selves. We are a country that is force-fed pop culture giving us hopeless examples of who we should be, and there are work ethics that make us forget who we are as unique personalities. Nothing depresses me more than going into a crowded Wal Mart and watching legions of obese, unhappy Americans with pasty skin and sullen, soulless stares shuffling back and forth in the aisles. We have the highest crime and murder rates of any Western country, the worst obesity, and some of the highest amounts of unhealthy addictions like smoking, drugs, and alcohol abuse. Is it any wonder only some of us have good sex lives?

So, long story short, if people in this country improved their self-images and changed their attitudes and lifestyles, there would no longer be this tiny margin of people who have great love lives. Yes, the super hot porn stars and models might still be at the top of the "genetically gifted" ladder, but who wants perfection? My standards require physical fitness, a healthy lifestyle, a great energy and fun personality. What else can you really ask for?

Cyrus K
talkingstrangers.blogspot.com
myspace.com/shirisu

[kristy_571]

wow. Good point. I find it to be true as well. I usually find an arguement for subjects like these.. but I do not see anything I find untrue.

[Winston]

One exception is that here in the Philippines, whenever I put women on a pedestal, they seem to LOVE it, and it gets me major points!

Nothing wrong with it here. It flatters them beyond measure.

[Enishi]

It probably depends on the woman. If they already believe they're God's gift, men who put them on a pedestal will seem like supplicating wimps (and despite whatever politically correct ideas the logical side of their brain might be telling them, on a subconscious level they want a dominant man). If they think of themselves as merely average though, I suppose th excess flattery could go a long way.

[Winston]

Why do American women want a dominating man, but then if a man acts dominating then he's considered a sexist jerk or macho chauvinist?

[CyX]

Why do American women want a dominating man, but then if a man acts dominating then he's considered a sexist jerk or macho chauvinist?

Women don't want a weak man. Men who are over-dominating, macho jerks are usually not weak, but the downside is they are sometimes over aggressive assholes on testosterone overload.

The lesson is that a woman will actually pick somebody like that over a man who's weak. Being around that kind of strength sends chemical signals that are traced back to primitive times, which will initially make a woman want a piece of that action, but after those chemicals wear off, girls realize what they got themselves into, and it's really tragic.

Smart and mature women who are in control of things like instincts (all instincts, in my opinion, are manageable by our greater selves) don't fall for this and that's why you primarily see girls out of high school with the crazy f**k boyfriends.

But, no girl wants a weak guy. Weakness is this: not having a strong sense of character, bending to other people like silly puddy, not defending what's right, and demonstrating that you wouldn't defend your loved ones (running away from a fight, whatever)... a girl might get this impression simply if you're submissive around others.

A guy can demonstrate weakness by being unsure of everything. An example is if a guy calls a girl like this: "Um... hi... uh.. well, I was sort of wondering, if maybe you wanted to hang out. Sorry to bother you." A strong guy would say: "Sup, wanna hang this weekend?"

[CyX]

I also wanted to point out an irony that a lot of men who are the "jock'"assholes that some women swoon over, are actually really weak! Some of the biggest cowards I've known have been those people, because they're really just trying to over-compensate. They'll smack a woman around to demonstrate their manliness, but run for the hills when they see a wild pig in the forest.

[Jackal]

Cyrus, you make some good points, but I would I like to point out that this doctrine of self-improvement can be extended to mastering a foreign language.

Charming a foreign girl by speaking her native language well is both the easiest and the hardest way to impress her. It's only "easy" in the sense that the goal is clear (this is clearly something that will impress her, so you don't need to wonder about what to do to impress her) and it doesn't involve huge sums of money. It's "hard" because it involves a lot of awkwardness and effort--like a second adolescence--and it requires living in that country for several years to get your fluency up to a "dating level".

Another point I want to make is that different cultures have different ideals of what constitutes a cool/desirable/dominant male in their culture.

A French guy that I met in Prague said that women in France want a man who is sort of a clever, gentleman: witty, educated, well-read etc., and that they don't go for physically arrogant, muscular men for the most part.

And the Chinese seem to value raw, analytical intelligence. I have seen a lot of math professors who have Chinese wives. These guys are mostly very shy by American standards and are so smart that they even scare the foreign grad students, so they have a hard time finding an American woman who understands them since American culture places little value on intellectual things unless they make money. Now I wouldn't try to give these professors "player tips", send them to a dance club, and suggest that they conform to American pop culture. I think it's much easier for them to relate to foreign women.

So I guess it's a matter of finding a culture that values your brains/brawn balance.

[gmm567]

you know what cyrus.....I don't care what women want. I just want to bang them and as cheaply as possible.

So they don't like weak (decent) men....fine......they can go screw the criminals and the hoodlums and badboys. Fine with me. Woman can protect themselves.....I am not interested in doing that for them. And with the number of thugs who they've squirted out between their legs...they are going to need protecting......but I don't care.

Winston is right.

[kristy_571]

One exception is that here in the Philippines, whenever I put women on a pedestal, they seem to LOVE it, and it gets me major points!

Nothing wrong with it here. It flatters them beyond measure.

Wouldn't that also work in the US? It would with me-as an American woman. Did it work for you in the US? Or did the women take too much advantage of that and walk all over you?

[kristy_571]

you know what cyrus.....I don't care what women want. I just want to bang them and as cheaply as possible.

Is this referring to women worldwide, or just in the US? It doesn't really matter if you do not wish to answer my question. but I am just curious. No feminazi intentions included.

[kristy_571]

Why do American women want a dominating man, but then if a man acts dominating then he's considered a sexist jerk or macho chauvinist?

It depends. If he is dominating, yet lets her stay at home with the baby, and treats her nicely with some tenderness, that is different. But if all he wants is a peice of ass, and to use her head as a tabletop to set his beer can on( ), and doesn't appreciate her, that is different.

[Winston]

One exception is that here in the Philippines, whenever I put women on a pedestal, they seem to LOVE it, and it gets me major points!

Nothing wrong with it here. It flatters them beyond measure.

Wouldn't that also work in the US? It would with me-as an American woman. Did it work for you in the US? Or did the women take too much advantage of that and walk all over you?

W: Of course not. If the woman is attracted to me, it might work a little. And to a point. But since American women are not attracted to me and won't even make time to spend as friends with me, nothing I do really matters. Or it gets used against me.

Complimenting women in the US often gets a thank you, but that's it. Or they think you are a creep.

[momopi]

Lunch at Carl's Jr:

Six Dollar Burger: 1000 calories (580 from fat)
Six Dollar Cuacamole Bacon Burger: 1117 calories (732 from fat)
Double Six Dollar Burger: 1520 calories

French Fries, medium: 460 calories
Onion Rings: 440 calories
Chili Cheese Fries: 920 calories

Coke, 8 oz: 105 calories
Coke, 16 oz: 200 calories
Coke, 22 oz: 280 calories



Don't go on diets because you want to get laid... do it for your own health.

=======

As for the "macho" man argument, if you don't agree with it, you can use it as one of your "bitch tests".

When you open the car door for the girl, does she lean over and open your door?

When you're dining with her, does she try to serve you food (if you're eating family style) or does she keep to herself on the dining table?

When you take her to friend's house where young children are present, does she like to play with the children, or just sit in a corner and avoid all contact with the child?

If you show any sign of weakness, does she treat you compassionately, or at least tell you she deosn't like you acting a certain way, or does she take advantage of you and step over you?

[MatureDJ]

The reason that it seems that American women tend to like the jerks is that there are so many fat American women (or single mommies) that most men consider undateable, and the ones that aren't fat and have good attitudes (e.g., wanting a decent man) have found such a man, and that the attractive only ones left - or at least the only ones we see out socially - are messed up, and like the jerks.

The reason that there are attractive women abroad that have good attitudes is that there are many more attractive women, and so the good women there may not have found a good man.

There are fat women in America who would respond favorably to a good man, but we don't care to date them because the idea of laying down with them is repulsive.