Now, in Winston's FAQ section there's an important point covered about why people don't take action and pursue that wonderful new life abroad; the 'comfort trap'. This is what I want to talk about today.
I think it all boils down to four factors;
- Perceived benefits of being where you're at; what you like and fear losing
- Cons of being where you're at; things that are making you miserable where you are (that this site is about, no further mentioning)
- Benefits of change; what might be the outcomes of our efforts, the new life, better social life
- Cons of change; the fears, reservations, and sacrifices we might have to make
Even if we're in a situation that's making us miserable we may stay in it even if we're aware that change will have benefits. At the same time, we may also perceive there to be some benefits of being where we are and some costs and concerns to change.
Comfort trap
Sometimes, we can lose track of why we need to make the changes we need to make. We can lose track of a) What we can't stand and b) our dreams and what we'd like to be different. The 'comfort trap' unlike ambivalence is where we may end up in a situation where we're content, but not happy, BUT do not have the motivation to make changes because we've lost touch with what we want or cannot stand. We can easily fall into the trap of distraction; getting lost in activities that keep us comfortable enough but take our attention away from what we need to be focused on. A good strategy to break the comfort trap can be to remind yourself of what you can't stand about your circumstances, what you won't miss what you're sick and tired of.
Goals & discussion to help people get there
This site is about expanding your social horizons ultimately isn't it? It's about expanding them internationally and intercontinentally.
Now, regarding the fears of making changes, this is probably the biggest roadblock for a lot of people. The 'cons' of making changes. Fears that stop people making that wonderful move I don't see talked about nearly enough and feel that they should be.
I rarely see any threads discussion what I think is a very important topic.
I believe people who don't do anything are not necessarily losers, they're either in a comfort trap, ambivalent or both. When I traveled around Europe I was motivated mostly by the CARROT of going abroad, not by the STICK (which came from naysayers).
Observation about ambivalence
When you're lonely and isolated, I notice that the FEARS you have about making changes GET STRONGER. I noticed Winston made a point about this in his article about Bellingham.
Anyway, I hope this serves as good food for thought. I was originally researching into stopping drinking, and found that a lot of the deeper motivational factors & general principles could be equally applicable to other changes and many other areas of life.