Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Personal Attacks

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Personal Attacks

Postby KristineTheStrawberryGirl » Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:03 am

I have noticed that certain members of this forum seem to have opposing views regarding the direction of discussion, and it is creating too much hostility. I think we need to be mindful of Winston's mission statement and his goal to have a forum where people can discuss taboo subject matter without having pissy fits. The inflammatory feedback, which I am reading indicates that this just isn't happening.

I think in many cases, casual remarks are offending those who want to make a science out of their own personal experience. The problem is that it's just not possible to tailor words to avoid offending people who absolutely cannot tolerate dissent or the existence of something that doesn't fit in with their ideas of the world.

I prefer not to respond or give sanction to the personal attacks that I have noticed. I have beautiful son, a happy marriage, and a lovely home in beautiful Northern California. There's no reason for me to waste time bickering about things that don't even matter to me.

Anyway, before I go ... I'd like to acknowledge that many people on this forum are very intelligent, interesting and cultured. I'm just not going to butt heads with any of you about your personal issues. It's not my problem.
"The limits of my language mean the limits of my world." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
KristineTheStrawberryGirl
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:32 am
Location: Nor-Cal







Postby Grunt » Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:41 am

In other words, when your perceptions are challenged with facts, you consider that a "personal attack"?

Or, if someone does not prescribe to your particular view, they are "bad people"? You are free to make absurd comments or moral judgments, but preclude others from doing likewise?

Not that I mind you leaving, if you cant handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. If for no other reason then you try to portray your position (being perhaps 0.00000001% relevant to the target audience) as "mainstream" and "normal".
Grunt
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 830
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:13 pm

Postby KristineTheStrawberryGirl » Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:23 am

No, I do not consider it a personal attack if someone challenges my perception or disagrees with me. I am not interested in what is "mainstream or "normal" and consider such concepts to be subjective.

Most of the personal attacks were not even directed at me, but I observed that it appears to be unnecessary hostility.

Your attacks are actually straw man attacks, because your replies to me never have anything to do with anything that I wrote. It's no heat in the kitchen for me to watch a straw man burn. I'd simply rather do something else.
"The limits of my language mean the limits of my world." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
KristineTheStrawberryGirl
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:32 am
Location: Nor-Cal

Postby Grunt » Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:11 am

Your assumption has been, at least to my knowledge, that Russian guys are every bit as good as American guys. Also, that Russian girls are a waning commodity. Now, that may be your perspective, but have you stopped to consider the competition (AKA American females)?

You may not have noticed, but this forum is by and large for western men seeking options abroad. If these issues do not concern you, that's fine. But when you come to a forum and put forth concepts, you should be prepared to allow others to do likewise...not storm off in a huff. You are entitled to your beliefs, but guess what? So am I.

My wife, from Ukraine, chooses not to associate with Russians she meets here in America as they are, in her words, are not reflective of the average Russian or Ukrainian. They demonstrate haughty arrogance, and self importance without true merit. I will assume that since you are in America, you are some sort of jew, correct?

These are my perceptions, by the way, and Ive known Winston for about 8 years and I doubt very much he cares to interfere in discussions like this.
Grunt
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 830
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:13 pm

Postby kristy_571 » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:27 pm

No, Winston does not care to interfere in discussions like these, because he sees that everyone has the right to express themselves as they wish-which is also one of the reasons why he left to US-so he can be himself. I've gotten a few people pissed off at me (I guess because I used dumb humour and made sexual comments that made a few people mad). I personally see nothing wrong with members telling me I pissed them off. I just don't like being called a bitch. But whatever. If this board were little Utopia with all sunshine and rainbows, then someone would fly over with puppy and kitty bombs (they make a lovely splatting noise). So I just figure if someone gets mad at me, and says what they will, I can either not take it personally, or try to figure out what the hell happend so I can try to prevent a flame war, or just enjoy the fun and flame back.

It's the internet. People will not always agree with each other. We can't all control what other people will say, and who would want to do that anyhow. I personally see some things as funny. Like when I was told that I should perform good fellatio to be useful. Ordinarily I'd tell that person to f**k off, but seeing how it was both funny and insulting, I decided to not get mad. Let the people say what they will, and decide how you choose to react to it.

If we had to moderate every goddamn thing we say, then why the hell would we want to come here? Part of the fun here is being able to have free expression of ourselves, as well as talking about life overseas in comparison to life in Western Countries.
kristy_571
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:59 pm
Location: California, USA

Postby Grunt » Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:09 pm

Were Winston to peek in, I could only hope he would see how this forum is being taken over by 2 feminists. This topic being proof of that.

Happierabroad was, I assume, created to cater to single western men seeking to escape the annoying females currently ripping western civilization to shreds.

But here you two are. Any curious guy that stumbles in here will, if he has any sense, see females dominating the conversation and leave...never to return.

But that's exactly why you came, I suspect.
Grunt
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 830
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:13 pm

Postby Jackal » Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:47 am

How about a truce, Grunt? I didn't mean to ruin your leisure time. I guess after my first debate here with Momopi and DiscoJoe, I mistakenly assumed that the other members here would be very similar to them.

I respect some of the things you said, and we can agree to disagree on the rest. In the future, if I'm really bothering you, you can just tell me and I'll stop probing you with questions. I don't think we need to get nasty with each other.

Although I probably seem liberal by Texas standards, I am barely liberal at all by New England standards. I have rarely ever been west or south of New York State, so I lack experience in talking to Americans from other regions.
Jackal
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1229
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:24 am
Location: Hungary

Postby KristineTheStrawberryGirl » Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:24 am

Grunt wrote: I will assume that since you are in America, you are some sort of jew, correct?


No, I am not a Jew; I am a Russian Orthodox Christian. The Russian communities in Brighton Beach and Hollywood tend to be Jewish, but there are other Russian communities in the United States with different demographics. For example, In Cleveland, the Russians tend to be Orthodox Christian (if I am not mistaken, St. Theodosus is the Largest Russian Orthodox church in the U.S.), while Ukrainians are often Byzantine Catholic. The community in Northern California is often Baptist/Pentecostal.

I'm not a feminist, nor am I "dominating" any conversations. Winston personally invited me to this forum just to kick back and relax. I don't have any issues with your ideas. I was just puzzled when you asked me to provide some sort of proof for something that I didn't write in the first place. Perhaps you had me confused with another person when you replied or you misunderstood.

If Winston wants to make it an all men's forum, that's up to him. However, considering that he personally invited some of the women on this forum to contribute, and occasionally sends e-mails regarding certain topics on this forum, my guess is that he doesn't have a problem with women being here.
"The limits of my language mean the limits of my world." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
KristineTheStrawberryGirl
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:32 am
Location: Nor-Cal

Postby Grunt » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:47 am

Jackal wrote:How about a truce, Grunt? I didn't mean to ruin your leisure time. I guess after my first debate here with Momopi and DiscoJoe, I mistakenly assumed that the other members here would be very similar to them.

I respect some of the things you said, and we can agree to disagree on the rest. In the future, if I'm really bothering you, you can just tell me and I'll stop probing you with questions. I don't think we need to get nasty with each other.

Although I probably seem liberal by Texas standards, I am barely liberal at all by New England standards. I have rarely ever been west or south of New York State, so I lack experience in talking to Americans from other regions.


I have no idea who Momopi and DiscoJoe are. I do agree we can disagree but remain amenable. My main issue is, I have seen other forums such as this taken over by females, slowly over time, up to the point nothing relevant can be put forth without comments from people that have never been to Eastern Europe or Russia, and are not male.

Another issue I have is, if females are so interested in putting their two cents in, and ostensibly correcting or guiding us flawed men, why don't we see those same females over at the feminist forums correcting the mountain of evil and wrongdoing there?

Just seems to me most females drawn to these topics may come off as smiles and butterflies, but their true aim is to muddy the water as much as possible. I tend to respond poorly to nosy browbeating females. I just feel that people should have first hand knowledge of a topic or at least learned understanding.
Grunt
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 830
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:13 pm

Postby momopi » Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:33 pm

Let's see...

This is a happier abroad forum where some American men come and talk about rejection by American women, and how life is better abroad.

And some women, who desire life abroad and prefer foreign men over American men.

In essence, we have men who dislike American women who rejected them, mixed with women who rejected American men in favor of foreign ones.

:)
momopi
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4708
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:44 am
Location: Orange County, California

Postby Winston » Wed Apr 16, 2008 4:32 pm

Grunt wrote:
These are my perceptions, by the way, and Ive known Winston for about 8 years and I doubt very much he cares to interfere in discussions like this.


W: I think we talked online since 2003 so that would make it 4 or 5 years.

I don't usually interfere in arguments or disagreements, since I am all for truth and free speech. But at least some manners and common courtesy should be expected here. That is necessary to keep this online community intact at least.

Since this is not the bashing board, disagreements should be maintained or expressed without resorting to name calling or insults. I think that is a reasonable expectation.

True, sometimes it's difficult to find the balance between disagreements and civility, but it's up to each of us to try and make the effort.

Regardless, this is an open discussion and debate, so all of us should try our best not to take anything personally on here. If that is a problem, then visualize this board as like a video game where the consequences don't matter in the real world, where your "opponents" and their words can't harm you in real life, and maybe that will help. This has helped me in the past deal with issues on forums.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23596
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby Winston » Wed Apr 16, 2008 4:49 pm

Grunt wrote:Were Winston to peek in, I could only hope he would see how this forum is being taken over by 2 feminists. This topic being proof of that.

Happierabroad was, I assume, created to cater to single western men seeking to escape the annoying females currently ripping western civilization to shreds.

But here you two are. Any curious guy that stumbles in here will, if he has any sense, see females dominating the conversation and leave...never to return.

But that's exactly why you came, I suspect.


W: I don't see that this forum or thread is "taken over" by anyone or the two females here. They are not attempting to dominate anything or anyone. They are merely expressing their opinions. Maybe you are overreacting or taking little things way too personally.

Yes this site and forum is primarily for western and asian american men who are fed up with western females, and who seek love or adventure overseas. That is the target audience. But others who have something to contribute should not be excluded.

Also, Kristy is a very nice woman with a very open mind and good heart and intentions and certainly doesn't deserve any insult at all.

I think a lot of us are hurt or burned or jaded by our past and taking it out on innocent people. Try to focus on those who are the real cause of our grievances, such as the man hating feminists. That would be more logical. But neither Kristy nor Kristine are man hating feminists, otherwise they would not be here, so there is no valid reason for insulting them or getting nasty toward them. And they are certainly not "dominating" anyone or anything here.

Try to be calm about this and see it with a clear mind.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23596
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby kristy_571 » Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:14 pm

momopi wrote:Let's see...

This is a happier abroad forum where some American men come and talk about rejection by American women, and how life is better abroad.

And some women, who desire life abroad and prefer foreign men over American men.

In essence, we have men who dislike American women who rejected them, mixed with women who rejected American men in favor of foreign ones.

:)


Can I give you a cyber-kiss, or hug? You always hit the nail on the head. :D :D
kristy_571
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:59 pm
Location: California, USA

Postby kristy_571 » Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:16 pm

Grunty-Poo! I am not a feminist. I am nosy, but not here to browbeat of spread feminism. Not all American women have those intentions. I am here because I want to find out what life is like beyond the US.
kristy_571
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:59 pm
Location: California, USA

Postby Grunt » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:02 pm

The average feminist does not even know it is a feminist. Just like the average nazi didnt think he was doing anything wrong.

Let me tell you why you are a feminist. All that "haveing sex with a foreign girl means you have to pay for her rent and college" hogwash.

Thats not just feminist, thats uber ultra feminist.
Grunt
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 830
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:13 pm

Next

Return to General Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests