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- Friendships tend to be superficial and short term. They grow apart very easily, and are often a mere facade that lacks any true human bond or connection. Furthermore, most of your so called "friends" do not even really like you for you. And of course, most of them do not stick with you through thick and thin. Thus, it's no wonder that so many Americans say that "true friends are hard to find".
In most countries abroad:
- Friendships tend to be deeper, more sincere and close-knit. They are also more long-lasting and enduring, with a truer human bond and connection. With foreign friends, a more natural camaraderie develops or is often instant. They are closer to the kind of ideal friendships you read about and cherished as a child in wholesome fictional stories that hold a place in your heart and memories. And of course, it is easy to find people that like you for you. In fact, "true friendships" develop more naturally and smoothly.
Last edited by Winston on August 15th, 2008, 8:09 am, edited 2 times in total.
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
God, that's a horrible perspective on Friendship, and America.
Friendships in America can be superficial, or short-lived, but that doesn't make them bad. I move to a new state every few years, have to make friends all over again, but that's one of the great things in life. The ones that stick by you are great; the ones that don't stick by you--well, it was fun while it lasted.
One thing I've noticed in the US is that Northerners, especially New Yorkers, tend to form strong and long-lasting bonds, since they're all hell-bent on being "real". People in southern and western climes tend to be more transient and mobile...again, not a bad thing, just don't stake your life on them and you'll be fine.
Winston, I couldn't word it better. I felt this feeling today and what a coincidence that I find this thread. Today I met with so called "friend"... with him being obvious anti-social and low self confidence person, I tried my best in every way possible to get to know him. He seem like he was totally annoyed and yet I could sense his fakeness and his artificial smile. It was truly disgusting and even more disgusting that this is what USA society really is. I'm starting to question myself why I'm living in the US in the first time. Yeah sure the reasons are mostly economical and getting a better job but that won't matter to me if I can't have the Quality life. In fact I deeply admire European/ Latin American approach of life. Some people might criticize their life of being too laid back and all but seriously I would want to travel to those countries and maybe perhaps enjoy my life there. I hate US lifestyle... so fake and artificial truly disgusting as usual.
There are two terms for Friends in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. There is Friend and Acquaintance. In the US we use one word for both. I have Friends who would get on a plane and fly to help me if I called. I have acquaintances. US Citizens many do not foster true friendship. Which requires reaching out and maintaining contact and offering to promote a mutually beneficial relationship.
Others also I have found tend to have an agenda. One that is one sided. When the other party holds onto a beef of either a political view or religious view. That you must meet their qualification for. Friendships in the US are very superficial. That is typical of American behavior.
I've found almost every American friend - especially females don't even stick around until times get tough - they leave you while things are still good!! I call this kind of friend an "addict" because they are simply addicted to their current friend. The real reason is that they take what they want (or all they can) and when the well runs dry they run to the next "victim". Not to mention most families can't stand the sight of eachother - they run out of the house straight after thanksgiving or Christmas dinner as if the house was burning! So if there is a recession/dollar crash (probably soon after the elections) Americans might find themselves on their own without help necessary to survive
"Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal... If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters." Cato the Elder
Some of my thoughts:
The situation in the USA is very different than of in any country in the world (to my knowledge). This country is big and people tent to move a lot. If you are not located around your friends anymore it is that much harder to keep the friendship.
To me that is why there is not enough evidence to support of much that is said. It is simply hard to compare. Using my example, I moved away from my home country. As I am not able to go back to visit much (only very 2-3 years) even now with almost everyone using the internet it is really hard to keep the friendships. I keep in touch with 2-3 people only. The ability to meet face-to-face, discuss personal issues, help each other are big part of a friendship which is impossible if one is not there anymore. So no matter if it is the USA or another country friendships are hard to keep in a distance.
Perhaps, because people know and experience this tendency of moving they become weary of making close friendships, too.
I am not saying this must be the reason, but it could be part of it.
Yes, in most countries the term "friend" means something deeper. Something that needs time (usually) and people need to earn it. It could be translated as "true friendship" in English perhaps.
It struck me when once Hilary Clinton said that McCain was her friend.... That is when I truly understood the difference in the meaning of the word comparing to other languages!