Well it really comes together in this thread now doesn't it.
Yea its true what Ive said and what Winston and many others have noted about America - its fu**ed and we dont need a study to see that. In fact the idea that these jackasses are even researching or bickering about it at universities.... they need to wake up. People can open their eyes and look around and see for themselves that people are not having children or getting married and it is an incredibly lonely society where community, to what very little extent America ever had it to begin with when compared to the cultures of Africa or SE Asia, has disappeared.
Yet, what Globtrotter has said is also 100% true and people need to wake up and deal with that.
I figured out a ways back that, while the USA is clearly disintigrating as a civilization and it is scary in terms of the social issues we have, the issue is me.
If circumstances were different in my childhood and family, then I would not even notice these social issues and probably would be married now.
I am the one without a mulit-generational family because it was destroyed by a multi-generational pattern of neglect, abandonment, abuse, and especially adultery and divorce. If I had a multigeneraitonal family, I wouldn't think a bit about any of this stuff, would not be lonely, and would not have ever found this site, or considered anything related to it, and would likely have married a good woman years ago.
I am the one with an insecure attachment style because I was neglected and abused by my mother and abandoned by the father, like 10s of millions of other Americans these days raised in divorced families. I am the one with abandonment issues as a result, giving me a virtually non-existent thresh hold for dealing with rejection and break ups with the American women who are impossible to please mainly because I am in fact insecure, wounded, and so on as a result of my own background.
I am the one who, as a result, struggles with a deficient sense of social belonging and even struggles at work and is insecure in relationships (not a good thing to be with already masculine, domineering American woman.) In fact, I and every man I know from my kind of background is single because of it - they are too insecure to function normally in relationship.
I know American men who are well adjusted with loving American wives. Several in my own town here come to mind..... Every single one of these men comes from a solid multi-generational family and upbringing. I do not. The men I know who come from my kind of background are also all single. A bandaid can not be put on this by going to Europe, etc.
Now that's my story and it doesn't apply exactly to all, but I believe that all the guys on here, and many of the ones looking for foreign wives, are f***ed up somehow like me, coming from my kind of background in one form or another and I dare any of you to deny it. The 80% of American women looking for 20% of men - hey are looking for the 20% that is not all fu**ed up from that kind of background.
Sure the society is fu**ed BIG TIME. But what Globetrotter said is 100% spot on. Expats, and wanna be expats, (not all of them, but almost all) are maladjusted people and I got news for ya - I am absolutely certain that most of them wind up back in their home country in the long run, with even less socially to come back to than the almost nothing that they had when they expatriated.
My advice to anyone who wants to go abroad is 1) to go abroad with a purpose like worthwhile work or missionary travels, (NOOOOT just to find a woman or to have a social life), AND 2) have something to come back to in the USA!!!!!!
Otherwise, stay in your home country and make the best of life for yourself there because you will be better off in the long run.
And go get some counseling to deal with all the trauma and maladjustment that led you to want to flee your own society (even if it is the most fu**ed up society in regards to social issues).
And what the FU** are any of us doing on here interfacing so much with a Fu**ing glass screen for? Go out and spend time with your friend. If you don't have any, get to work on making some or being one to someone else.
globetrotter wrote:I am not being sarcastic.
Look, Winston. You need to stop thinking and proving yourself right, and you need to start living. Studies? Eh. More bullshit. Do or do not.
Stop talking about yourself all of the time. It's tedious.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, your personality *is* a far far out-lier within US society. Not normal to American norms, IOW. This is your reality. This is my assessment of your perception of your reality. You do not fit into the USA at all.
Some people who are outliers fit in. They are artists, musicians, actors, etc. They find a niche in a society that is not really for them. For you there is no such niche. So you moved. Good idea.
So your goal needs to be to find a solution.
-Whining isn't a solution.
-Repeatedly obsessing about why you are so terrific and other people are not, isn't a solution/
-Repeatedly looking for proof over and over and over and over that the USA is not for you, isn't a solution.
You know the USA is not for you.
You know the USA has social problems.
Ok. Fine.
This is established.
Move on and stop rehashing the same concepts over and over.
All of this paralysis by analysis is wasting precious seconds of life.
Do something. Stop thinking.
Geez.