This is why I stopped hanging around American ex-pats in every country I've gone to: they are too too prudish. For example, a couple of weeks ago, my brain was preoccupied with trouble at my English-teaching job. I had borrowed money from an American that is my co-worker here (yup, you probably know where this is going by now).ladislav wrote:America is generally not a great place for intellectuals to bloom ( unless you get a PhD and become a college professor), but it is an excellent place for a little guy to make something of himself or for a refugee from a dictatorial government to start a new life. And yes, to a German, America is very prudish.
MInd you, I have paid him back a couple of times before; it takes me 1.5 to 2 times longer to pay him back as fast as he lent it to me.
So I got paid the day before and he just got his money because he just quit but didn't get a chance to pick up his last check until the day after. So it literally went like this,
He: "What's up, man? How was your day today?"
I: "It was fine. What are you doing now?"
I: "Yeah. I'm going to next door to pick up some groceries."
He: (then he comes along)
We're food-shopping, and then right before we get onto the queue in order to check out, this is what happened:
He: "Dude, you got my money?"
I: "I told you that I will give it to you; I terribly forgot about it. We see each other at least 3 times a week"
He: (started yelling and got emotional) "Man! I gave you many chances to pay me back RIGHT AT ONCE because whenever you needed money, I gave you money all at once"
I: "Yeah you're absolutely correct, but you know I pay you back, man. I just don't pay you back all at once because you know I don't make shit at this job, but my intentions are to pay you back as THE EXACT WAY you lent money to me".
He: "You're missing the point!"
I: "Man, tried to be nice and pay you back by treating you to your own 18"-pizza"
He: "If I'd known you were going to do that, I would have spent that money on meals instead of a pizza that only lasts for one sitting"
Then we both walked to his house lugging groceries in our plastic bags and he's bitchin' and complain' the whole time.
Then he finally said in the midst of it all, "You know I'm prude, man. I expect more and no less when it comes to things like that, man."
While he was putting his groceries, I said, "Yo man. I have to go and put away my groceries at my house (which was 20 minutes away on foot)". He didn't hear me. Then I got a call on my cellular 5 minutes later. It was him, and I picked up. He was like, "Hey man I thought you were going to stay here and cook with me." Mentally I screamed, "ARE YOU f***ing KIDDING ME? AFTER ALL THAT EMOTIONAL SHIT YOU DUMPED TENFOLD ON ME??"
Then I literaly said to him, "Nah man. I have to get these groceries home. I'll talk to you later."
I: "Peace out."
-End of conversation-
And then it dawned on me mentally and internally i said to myself, "Damn. Everytime you don't EXACTLY give back to an American or one doesn't anticipate in etiquette or favors well ahead of time, then that person holds you accountable for that."
So I cannot hangout with American ex-pats anymore because their expectancy level is CONSTANTLY MONITORING me while "building rapport". The moment one miscalculates the SLIGHTEST move, you get called out on it or get laughed or disrespected on or have it thrown in your face that you're one that f***ed up.
No more Western/Americanized offline friends for me, guys.
PS: I paid him back for the last time and now he and I are "even Steven".