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In America we don't talk to strangers!

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In America we don't talk to strangers!

Postby jamesbond » February 18th, 2009, 3:57 am

In the American culture, people don't talk to strangers when out in public as it is seen as being against the norm. Winston has said that in the US he started conversations with hundreds of girls only to have them get a "paranoid look on their face." Women in America are indeed afraid of men talking to them while at a grocery store, bookstore or on a bus or train. For some reason, in the American culture talking to strangers is considered taboo. A lot of people in America don't even talk to their neighbors! This leaves bars and clubs as the only places to go in America if you want to meet someone! This is very limiting and explains why it is so hard to meet people in America!











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Postby jamesbond » February 20th, 2009, 2:32 am

As children we are told to "not talk to strangers" which is a smart thing to do, if your a child but as an adult there is nothing wrong with striking up conversations with strangers. For some reason, we adults take the idea of "don't talk to strangers" to mean don't ever talk to someone you don't know when you are out in public. Women in the US especially are paranoid of men and don't like it when they are approached by a guy at a bookstore, grocery store or shopping mall. That means, you have to rely on your friends to introduce you to someone, or you have to try and meet people at bars and clubs. Welcome to modern day America! :D
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Postby gmm567 » February 20th, 2009, 4:16 am

I wonder that part of this isn't caused from amount of violent, and strange low quality genetics that exist in a much larger percentage of our population. Look at all the child molesters. I think many of them are genetic defects.

When I was in germany I stayed at a youth hostel. There is one room with 5 beds. You share the room and the bathroom. You could never do that in a much of the US. You'd have too many weirdos and losers in that place since the only charge $15 per night. It would be a dangerous place.
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Postby Winston » February 20th, 2009, 8:50 am

There are hostels in the US. I've stayed in them. See www.hostels.com for a list. But most of the guests are from Europe, Australia or Asia.
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Postby ladislav » February 21st, 2009, 4:07 pm

The image Americans show around the world is not like that at all. This what you have told me describes Brits and maybe Germans. Americans are supposed to be open and friendly and affable. What gives?

Is it a Protestant thing? a Puritan thing? Because in Catholic countries people do talk to strangers.
And I am not sure about bars in America. Mostly they are for people who know each other in the US. You meet friends, THEN you go to bars.
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Postby gmm567 » February 21st, 2009, 6:34 pm

I am not sure I am following your question, ladislav. Rephrase it, please.

Yes in the US, people go to socialize with their friends when they go to bars. I think it's hard to find decent friends. People will never invite you. You should have your friends, or you're a loser.
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Postby jamesbond » February 21st, 2009, 10:05 pm

In America there is a stigma of going out alone, if you are out by yourself on a Friday or Saturday night, other people might consider you a loser. Just try walking into a bar or club by yourself on a Friday or Saturday night! You will immediately start to feel uncomfortable. I think Winston hit the nail on the head when he said the US is a very "noninclusive place." You need to have friends to go out with on the weekends or else, you most likely will stay home and watch tv by yourself. A lot of women in America who go to bars and clubs simply are there to hang out with their friends. Some even go to bars and clubs with their boyfriends.

American movies and tv shows make it look like it is so easy to meet women in the US and make it look like it is so easy to get laid. It's actually the opposite, it's very difficult to meet women in America and it's very difficult to get laid! Most people in America meet people throught their friends. I read a statistic that said 63% of people in America who are married met their spouse through a friend. Another article I read said, only 3% of people in America have met someone at a bookstore, grocery store, shopping mall, cafe, or on a bus or train! In other words, we don't talk to strangers in the US, so we need to rely on our friends to introduce to someone!
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Postby ladislav » February 22nd, 2009, 4:16 am

gmm567 wrote:I am not sure I am following your question, ladislav. Rephrase it, please.

Yes in the US, people go to socialize with their friends when they go to bars. I think it's hard to find decent friends. People will never invite you. You should have your friends, or you're a loser.


Is not talking to strangers a Protestant custom or somehing inherited from Puritans? Because if you cross the border from say New England to QE, Canada, you will see a marked difference in behavior. People act very different. They talk to strangers at bus stops. You go to bars and people invite you to sit with them. They also even ask you if you have a place to sleep and if not they ask you to go and sleep over. Sometimes, people on the street drag you into their house to party. Strangers!

Is it because they are Catholics? Is being totally anti-stranger a Protestant/Puritan thing?
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Postby gmm567 » February 22nd, 2009, 9:36 pm

I've never quite understood why Europeans say that we don't have a culture. A culture is the habits and belief of a people. We have a commercial culture, based on superfical hollywood images. The culture kind of sucks, but we have a culture.

Yea, or nay?
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Postby ladislav » February 25th, 2009, 2:04 pm

gmm567 wrote:I've never quite understood why Europeans say that we don't have a culture. A culture is the habits and belief of a people. We have a commercial culture, based on superfical hollywood images. The culture kind of sucks, but we have a culture.

Yea, or nay?


In America there is definitely a culture. Jazz, Rock-n-Roll, the Blues, etc. Hollywood movies are an expression of culture, too. There are writers such as Hemingway and poets such as Robert Frost and Longfellow and all. It is just that because the country is so forward looking, there is not much emphasis on preserving tradition as on innovating. There is also a lot of populism in culture to appeal to the lowest common denominator rather than to intelligentsia classes or the elite. Educated Europeans find it superficial, but common working masses around the world as well as young people love it. That is why Hollywood is the most successful exporter of movies and not French or British or Italian intellectual movie makers. They cannot appeal to the common Joe Human- way too sophisticated for him.
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Postby Winston » February 26th, 2009, 2:45 pm

gmm567 wrote:I've never quite understood why Europeans say that we don't have a culture. A culture is the habits and belief of a people. We have a commercial culture, based on superfical hollywood images. The culture kind of sucks, but we have a culture.

Yea, or nay?


W: I think what Europeans mean is that America has no culture by EUROPEAN standards.
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Postby adam917 » March 2nd, 2009, 8:42 pm

WWu777 wrote:
gmm567 wrote:I've never quite understood why Europeans say that we don't have a culture. A culture is the habits and belief of a people. We have a commercial culture, based on superfical hollywood images. The culture kind of sucks, but we have a culture.

Yea, or nay?


W: I think what Europeans mean is that America has no culture by EUROPEAN standards.

Are you sure about that? Try reversing it: do Americans think no culture exists in the nations of Europe?
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Postby Winston » March 2nd, 2009, 8:54 pm

adam917 wrote:
WWu777 wrote:
gmm567 wrote:I've never quite understood why Europeans say that we don't have a culture. A culture is the habits and belief of a people. We have a commercial culture, based on superfical hollywood images. The culture kind of sucks, but we have a culture.

Yea, or nay?


W: I think what Europeans mean is that America has no culture by EUROPEAN standards.

Are you sure about that? Try reversing it: do Americans think no culture exists in the nations of Europe?


W: I've never heard any Americans say that there's no culture in Europe, especially if they've been there. Of course there's lots of rich culture in Europe. You can see it in the architecture.

What most Americans think though, is that Europe is weaker than us and needed us to rescue them in WWI and WWII.
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Postby momopi » March 3rd, 2009, 6:46 pm

WWu777 wrote:What most Americans think though, is that Europe is weaker than us and needed us to rescue them in WWI and WWII.


o.O;; uh... actually, the Europeans started WWI and WW2.

To this day, even minor (Western) European powers are equipped with first-class military hardware. If the USN had to go toe to toe against Sweden, we'd probably have lost our carrier to their submarines.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Gotland_(Gtd)
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Postby Winston » March 9th, 2009, 9:48 am

Here's what it's like to try to talk to strangers in America. lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVRc4_AiGl0

Clips provided courtesy of Kairosan of http://www.kairoworld.com
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