Is this guy a big picture thinker or what?

[EvilBaga]

The basic basic basic thing about people who say 'you should improve yourselves' whether they admit it or not - is a defensive reaction.

Human Beings have a vision of the world, that they are unwilling to give up. Our self image is formed in a generally positive light of ourselves.

If someone comes along and says 'I have no success with women and its not my fault', what someone who DOES have success with women hears on a subconscious level is 2 things

1) His *own* success with women is nothing intrinsic to him.
2) Further, his whole outlook on life could be very different, if 1) was different.

That is very uncomfortable - by complaining 'I have no success with women and its not my fault' you are attacking the very core of his confidence about life. After all, how can you overcome challenges and be proud of yourself if it could all be, in a sense, based on a random outcome like how attractive you are? Thus, to emphasis yet again, by complaining you are attacking not only his view of women, but his view on life itself.

People don't think about it, but empathy is a kind of currency - aka its scarce and we try not to empathize with everyone. At the same time we have a paradigm that what we think is based on truth and objectivity, the implication of which is we have universal empathy. And of course we aren't willing to give that up either, truth be damned.

As the old Nietzsche saying goes: Do not gaze long into the abyss, for when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

[Winston]

BTW, I did not have better choices than Dianne. She is the highest quality and most faithful and loyal girl I've dated so far.

Of course you had better choices than Dianne. "Highest quality"? The person you hooked up with is little more than a peasant girl.

To get back on topic, your claims about being in control of your relationship with Dianne are not supported by your own numerous accounts that indicate, in painful detail, a man not strong with women.

I was actually going to post some choice threads begun by you in order to show just that. But I think one brief quote will suffice. Of everything you've written, I think this statement by you says it all:

"Dianne doesn't give a flying f**k what boundaries I set and what I say. She only does and thinks what SHE WANTS to think. That's the bottom line. If I had tried to take control, it would have been by aggressive brute force only. I was not given the decision.

You don't know how stubborn she is. You could kick the shit out of her and she'd still not comply or do what you said. You could send her to concentration camp by the Vietcong and have her tortured, yet she'd still not say or do anything she didn't want. "

You see, Winston, just because you go to a poor, non-feminist country doesn't mean your responsibility as a man ends. Did you really believe that the absence of US-style feminist laws exempted you from the responsibility of careful planning? Of being in firm control of your relationship with a local woman? Of using birth control?

You still have to choose your women carefully, and not be misled by good first impressions. And even after that, you can't just kick back and take her good behavior for granted. Even with a traditional, soft, kind, intelligent, submissive woman, you still have to watch over her to make sure she doesn't misbehave -- because it is the nature of women to misbehave when men are not strong and do not place controls on them. You're the one who has to set and enforce the rules. And if she does misbehave, you have to discipline or punish her.

W: Swincor, I told you before, those were trivial issues we were arguing. Yes, at that time, Dianne didn't respect my boundaries, but things got better and now she does.

Again, you aren't seeing the big picture, only what you want to see.

What better choices than Dianne did I have? Who are you referring to exactly?

Dianne may be from a peasant family. But even poor girls can be Cinderella if they have inner beauty and great looks.

I am firm and do not get walked all over. But there are only certain things I can do.

I told you, people are not like formulas. You obviously don't have much people skills or experience.

[icarus]

The basic basic basic thing about people who say 'you should improve yourselves' whether they admit it or not - is a defensive reaction.

Human Beings have a vision of the world, that they are unwilling to give up. Our self image is formed in a generally positive light of ourselves.

If someone comes along and says 'I have no success with women and its not my fault', what someone who DOES have success with women hears on a subconscious level is 2 things

1) His *own* success with women is nothing intrinsic to him.
2) Further, his whole outlook on life could be very different, if 1) was different.

That is very uncomfortable - by complaining 'I have no success with women and its not my fault' you are attacking the very core of his confidence about life. After all, how can you overcome challenges and be proud of yourself if it could all be, in a sense, based on a random outcome like how attractive you are? Thus, to emphasis yet again, by complaining you are attacking not only his view of women, but his view on life itself.

People don't think about it, but empathy is a kind of currency - aka its scarce and we try not to empathize with everyone. At the same time we have a paradigm that what we think is based on truth and objectivity, the implication of which is we have universal empathy. And of course we aren't willing to give that up either, truth be damned.

As the old Nietzsche saying goes: Do not gaze long into the abyss, for when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

I'm saying this as someone who used to have no success with women, and someone who has been abroad more than once, and who has been, and is currently in a relationship with a foreign women.

Two can play this game: When someone says he has no luck with women, and it's not his fault - he is merely being defensive and unable to see that he may need to expend more effort to change is circumstances.

Human Beings have a vision of the world, that they are unwilling to give up. Our self image is formed in a generally positive light of ourselves. Thus, this man is probably thinking "but, I'm a NICE GUY; I have a stable personality; I'm educated and make a decent living and that's all that I should need to get a woman in my life."

When some other guy comes along who says "I used to have terrible luck with women, but I changed some things about the way I acted, and now I have a great woman" what someone who DOES NOT have success with women hears on a subconscious level is 2 things

1) His *own* failure with women is nothing intrinsic to him.
2) Further, his whole outlook on life could be very different, if 1) was different.

That is very uncomfortable - by claiming "I used to have terrible luck with women, but I changed some things about the way I acted, and now I have much more success" you are attacking the very core of his confidence about life. After all, how can you put all of the blame on the women if success isn't always based on a random outcome like how attractive you appear on paper? Thus, to emphasis yet again, by complaining you are attacking not only his view of women, but his view on life itself.

Honestly though, neither one of these overly simplistic sides of the same coin are true.

[Winston]

Yeah- and some people use the cop-out the "oh, she's only saying I'm needy because she's not interested" and never attempt to change any of their unattractive behavior. It cuts both ways pal! And as far as your claim that women usually use the needy reason as an excuse to reject a man- if you're going to claim it then you need to back it up and tell me what qualifies you to make such a pronouncement-- and FYI- NO, your own personal experiences and other anecdotes from random guys is not sufficient proof. Even though a man may be in a better market for finding women, it is still possible for him to get a case of the infamous one-itus and settle on a girl too early and short change himself. Thus, changing his mindset before going abroad can still be a fruitful thing, despite your simplistic protestations that all he needs is a geographic change. I'm simply saying:

1) Go abroad by all means if you can- therefore getting a geographic adjustment
2) Don't pay for the PUA's products, but absorb to their overall message and get a mental adjustment- learning how present yourself as a more fun-loving, easy going and interesting person would pay dividends in any country.

In sum, if you want the greatest success, then try to improve both your internal and external factors!!! Not too hard to understand.

W: Well that's my experience. What proof do you want? Scientific studies? Sociological reports? lol Those are shit. Real life firsthand honest experience is what counts. Of course, experiences vary. But we can only report what we experience. Those who trust me and find me credible will count my honest direct firsthand experience as evidence. If you don't, then that's your choice. Nothing I can do about it.

There is nothing wrong with being needy. It's human nature and natural. It's only a society that artificially tries to inflate independence and self-reliance that vilifies neediness.

I agree that one should not settle too quickly. A lot of guys make that mistake in the Philippines. But trying to suppress neediness is not always natural. It gradually wears off when it's no longer necessary. It's not a light switch that you just turn on and off. Sheesh.

Again, no one is against self improvement. We're just saying it's not a magic cure-all like the deluded in America think. Of course it's always good to improve your character, dress, hair, manners, personality, etc. and try to adopt some alpha male characteristics, or at least those that suit your personality. Those help, but are not always the final cure.

[Winston]

I'm saying this as someone who used to have no success with women, and someone who has been abroad more than once, and who has been, and is currently in a relationship with a foreign women.

Two can play this game: When someone says he has no luck with women, and it's not his fault - he is merely being defensive and unable to see that he may need to expend more effort to change is circumstances.

Human Beings have a vision of the world, that they are unwilling to give up. Our self image is formed in a generally positive light of ourselves. Thus, this man is probably thinking "but, I'm a NICE GUY; I have a stable personality; I'm educated and make a decent living and that's all that I should need to get a woman in my life."

When some other guy comes along who says "I used to have terrible luck with women, but I changed some things about the way I acted, and now I have a great woman" what someone who DOES NOT have success with women hears on a subconscious level is 2 things

1) His *own* failure with women is nothing intrinsic to him.
2) Further, his whole outlook on life could be very different, if 1) was different.

That is very uncomfortable - by claiming "I used to have terrible luck with women, but I changed some things about the way I acted, and now I have much more success" you are attacking the very core of his confidence about life. After all, how can you put all of the blame on the women if success isn't always based on a random outcome like how attractive you appear on paper? Thus, to emphasis yet again, by complaining you are attacking not only his view of women, but his view on life itself.

Honestly though, neither one of these overly simplistic sides of the same coin are true.

W: That is a possible scenario. But the problem is, it doesn't apply to every situation that fits those criteria. The person who changed himself and got success may have different circumstances or be a different person than the one complaining. For example, the changed man may have joined a band to improve his luck, or a fraternity. But you can't just do those things unless they are things you LOVE to do and fit in them. If you don't fit in them, then you will be trying to be something you're not.

Also, some guys have standards that are too high or there is a mismatch between what they want and who wants them. For instance, in California, I wanted hot skinny white girls, but they all wanted tall athletic sporty white males. So no amount of self improvement on my part would have mattered. The market forces were totally against me.

There were some asian girls that liked me and were nice to me, but I blew them off cause I was obsessed with white girls at the time.

[Winston]

Swincor, again, you are discussing outdated problems.

Dianne treats me ok now. And I see my son regularly. So there's no conflict other than my flirting with other girls issue.

You have a knack for bringing up stuff that has long passed.

I am reasonable and fair, but not a macho dominating type. Most Filipinas don't like those types and prefer me over them. That's what they like about me. I'm not just some "tough man" but a natural friend they vibe with and are comfortable with. That puts me over the other rich fat bald expats in Angeles City with macho dominating personalities, which they don't like.

[gmm567]

god winston...don't even answer swincor. He's ridiculous

[gmm567]

Brown nosing? My god. I haven't heard that since high school.

Why would I brown nose Winston? I mean what do you think he has to offer me that I could get by
kissing ass? For what reason would I brown nose?

[Winston]

Dianne treats me ok now. And I see my son regularly. So there's no conflict other than my flirting with other girls issue.

You are not seeing your son regularly. You are not even in the Philippines.

You have in fact left your son.

So having abandoned your family, I guess you could say Dianne treats you ok now. At least she's not around to p***y-whip or otherwise abuse you like she normally did.

You have taken the advice I had advocated for you a while back. When you finally realized your family was more trouble than it was worth to you, you picked up and left. Whether you are financially supporting them or not, I have no idea. You may say you are, but it really doesn't matter. You did the one thing it was inevitable you would do.

On your next destination to Thailand, or even back to the Philippines, or wherever, just remember: try using a condom this time, OK?

W: I told you, I'm just visiting Taiwan. I didn't abandon anybody. You are the one saying that I abandoned them. I still call Philippines home. When I'm there, I see my son regularly. I'm only here temporarily. You forget that.

Of course if I say I'm supporting them, then I'm supporting them. You can take my word for it. I have no history of lying. I have a highly credible record. And a truth seeker who studies religion, philosophy and metaphysics does not usually lie.

Sometimes, you just lack the ability to see the big picture of things.

If you want, I can show you the receipts from PayPal and Xoom.com that show that I send money to Dianne each month for baby supplies.

[Winston]

BTW Swincor,
If I've abandoned my girlfriend and son permanently, as you think, then why have I still been making monthly rent payments on my apartment, if I don't intend to return???

BUSTED!

Wanna see the receipt? If so, give me your email.

Face it Swincor, you're just looking to make trouble. You're not here to share wisdom or learn things. You are here to take shots at me for entertainment. Why do you think a group of bashers on youtube say nothing but crap in my video comments, yet they are subscribed to my channel? If they hate my videos, why do they subscribe to it so that they can review my new videos as soon as they come out?! Can you explain that? lol

I don't know about you, but I certainly don't watch videos that I hate or subscribe to channels of people I don't admire or don't like. But then again, I'm rational. I make sense.

[Winston]

W: When I'm there, I see my son regularly.

So heart warming to hear.

The only problem is that it doesn't mean jack shit because of the one glaring point that seems to have escaped you: you are NOT there.

W: Of course not. But are you claiming that I left the Philippines and my son permanently? Again, you are obviously here to try to start trouble. Why don't you go back to the school yard where you belong?

So if I take a vacation anywhere, it means I've abandoned them for good? lol What kind of stupid ass logic is that? Your points make no sense and are not objective. You're just looking to start shit because deep down, you're messed up. Normal healthy people I know don't do that kind of stuff. None of my straight cousins with normal stable routine ordinary lives go online to attack people for nothing. lol

[Winston]

Swincor, get it through your head.

I only left the Philippines TEMPORARILY! Not permanently. No matter how many times I tell you that, you keep assuming I left for good! Why do you insist on living in your own fantasies?

Talking with you is like trying to control a brat.

Besides, why would I abandon the Philippines? It's a sex paradise there. Taiwan and the US are a sex desert.

[Marco]

Has Winston went back to the Philippines yet? Or would be postpone it to next month to May making it the 5th month since the last time he been to the Philippines and see his common law wife Dianne and his son Angelo? That is all I ask as I haven't got a clear answer yet.

[Winston]

Has Winston went back to the Philippines yet? Or would be postpone it to next month to May making it the 5th month since the last time he been to the Philippines and see his common law wife Dianne and his son Angelo? That is all I ask as I haven't got a clear answer yet.

W: 5th month? I've been here for three months, not five. You are exaggerating. Of course I'm going back. I'm buying my tickets right now. Why is this your business though? Why don't you focus on your own life and your own demons, instead of projecting them on someone out there?

But keep in mind that in order to stay there, I'd have to renew a tourist visa every two months, costing $100 each time. I can't do that forever. I could use that $100 for a plane ticket instead.