In America, you need to meet women through your friends!

[aozora13]

JB,

I agree that after college, it is hard to keep up with friends. Even when a few 'okay' friends contact me, I can't do anything with them because of distance I lived about 40 minutes away from them and although I worked in the same area. I did not want to go all the way home just to come back up to do something. I pretty much keep up with their interesting lives on Facebook.

American women are best dated during college. Meeting through friend is 'safer' as their friends already evaluated you. Sometimes, I tried that in school. Usually it did not work and most of the girls looked at me weird (racism, perhaps?). Other times, you can meet through parties which helped for brief flings but nothing serious.

I gave up and just focused on having fun with friends in school and finished my studies.

Also my 'friends' do not have friends who they think is good for me. I am thinking about joining different social groups to meet people. Friends and possibly meet women. It is just annoying how in order to meet women in this country you have limited options after school.

Usually it is through friends, family recommendations, online dating, social groups, and through bars/discos (clubs).

[pete98146]

I agree with the OP and it's really sad that this is the case. But make no mistake, it's the white women that have their guards up the highest. Case in point, I am office sitting for one of my friends this week. Right next door there is a 7-11 and I went over for my afternoon coffee fix. The young gal working behind the counter was quite cute. She is east Indian. I walked up to pay for my coffee and the store wasn't very busy. So we were joking about 7-11s overseas and how there might be 2-3 within one city block. She was telling me you can't open up a 7-11 within one mile of another 7-11 here in America. The conversation flowed without any shields or barriers because people from other countries aren't retarded.

If she were white, I doubt the conversation would have gone past "thank you and goodbye."

[deasil875]

And this is exactly why my social life was non-existent after undergrad. Because I refused to play that game. The American way of meeting people is so plastic and fake I still can't stand it. Having to meet through other people to gain their approval is like you are on trial for simply being yourself by a jury of their peers. If they don't like you its game over. You're never sleeping with her. Its true -- there really is no sense of emotional or "organic" flow of socializing. Nobody wants to connect and be open in public anymore. There is a general sense of fear, paranoia and mistrust. Tragic.

[Jester]

I agree with the OP and it's really sad that this is the case. But make no mistake, it's the white women that have their guards up the highest. Case in point, I am office sitting for one of my friends this week. Right next door there is a 7-11 and I went over for my afternoon coffee fix. The young gal working behind the counter was quite cute. She is east Indian. I walked up to pay for my coffee and the store wasn't very busy. So we were joking about 7-11s overseas and how there might be 2-3 within one city block. She was telling me you can't open up a 7-11 within one mile of another 7-11 here in America. The conversation flowed without any shields or barriers because people from other countries aren't retarded.

If she were white, I doubt the conversation would have gone past "thank you and goodbye."

+1

All my friends (besides my own sons and one friend of theirs from high school days) are immigrants. All.

And all of them - sons and friend - want to emigrate and live abroad. All.

[jamesbond]

I agree with the OP and it's really sad that this is the case. But make no mistake, it's the white women that have their guards up the highest. Case in point, I am office sitting for one of my friends this week. Right next door there is a 7-11 and I went over for my afternoon coffee fix. The young gal working behind the counter was quite cute. She is east Indian.

I walked up to pay for my coffee and the store wasn't very busy. So we were joking about 7-11s overseas and how there might be 2-3 within one city block. She was telling me you can't open up a 7-11 within one mile of another 7-11 here in America. The conversation flowed without any shields or barriers because people from other countries aren't retarded.

If she were white, I doubt the conversation would have gone past "thank you and goodbye."

Yes, white women in America are the most unfriendly, anti-social and paranoid. Winston has noticed this too, that with white women, they are very business like and unfriendly, they never ask you questions or show any interest in you.

[Hero]

My worst dating experiences were because of a "hook up" through friends. You start to learn why those people are their friends and not your friends.....

Same here. When my so-called "friends" fix me up with a girl, that girl is always some unattractive loser that they're trying to help out. They're certainly not trying to help me out.

There's a funny scene about this in the movie Despicable Me 2.

[marklambo]

I agree with the OP and it's really sad that this is the case. But make no mistake, it's the white women that have their guards up the highest. Case in point, I am office sitting for one of my friends this week. Right next door there is a 7-11 and I went over for my afternoon coffee fix. The young gal working behind the counter was quite cute. She is east Indian.

I walked up to pay for my coffee and the store wasn't very busy. So we were joking about 7-11s overseas and how there might be 2-3 within one city block. She was telling me you can't open up a 7-11 within one mile of another 7-11 here in America. The conversation flowed without any shields or barriers because people from other countries aren't retarded.

If she were white, I doubt the conversation would have gone past "thank you and goodbye."

Yes, white women in America are the most unfriendly, anti-social and paranoid. Winston has noticed this too, that with white women, they are very business like and unfriendly, they never ask you questions or show any interest in you.

Sure they ask you questions....

What do you do for a living?
How much money do you make?
Can you buy me this?
Can you buy me that?

[jamesbond]

Sure they ask you questions....

What do you do for a living?
How much money do you make?
Can you buy me this?
Can you buy me that?

Yes, your right, they do ask you THOSE kinds of questions!

But of course, they don't ask you other normal kinds of questions like, Do you have any hobbies? or What do you like to do for fun? Or, if the girl likes you she might ask you if you have a girlfriend.

American women never show interest in men or flirt with men. Winston said that girls in the Philippines, Ukraine and Russia would ask him normal questions and would show interest in him.

He said the girls in America showed NO interest in him, some even called security on him when he started talking to girls in shopping malls! WTF?

[luoldeng9]

In America, it is next to impossible to make friends and build a social network after high school and college. If you don't have a secure social network by around age 22 (your typical college graduation age), you are going to have a difficult time getting friends to introduce you to women or even just to be able to hang out and talk with.

Yes Bane, I do agree with what you said, it is difficult to build a social network with people after you get out of school. After you are out of school, your friends either get married, move away or you simply lose touch with them.

After I graduated from college, my social life went into the toilet. It's difficult to make friends with people after you are out of school in America, because work takes up so much of your free time.
.

I have found this to be true in Asia as well, unless Americans like us make friends with other English teachers, I guess. To make friends with locals is tough, even through language exchange, because they are busy with work, are flakey, etc.

[jamesbond]

And this is exactly why my social life was non-existent after undergrad. Because I refused to play that game. The American way of meeting people is so plastic and fake I still can't stand it.

Having to meet through other people to gain their approval is like you are on trial for simply being yourself by a jury of their peers. If they don't like you its game over. You're never sleeping with her. Its true -- there really is no sense of emotional or "organic" flow of socializing. Nobody wants to connect and be open in public anymore. There is a general sense of fear, paranoia and mistrust. Tragic.

It is tragic how the social scene is in the USA. Most people meet through friends, if not then bars, clubs and parties are where people meet.

Once you are out of school, your social contacts are greatly reduced and trying to meet women is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphs!

[Hero]

Sure they ask you questions....

What do you do for a living?
How much money do you make?
Can you buy me this?
Can you buy me that?

Don't forget "do you own or rent a home?" How rude.