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In the USA, most men lead lives of quiet desperation

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In the USA, most men lead lives of quiet desperation

Postby jamesbond » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:45 pm

It's sad but true that in the US, most men lead lives of quiet desperation, never really getting their needs met for love, companionship and sex. The women in the US have it the opposite way, they are getting TOO MANY offers from men for sex and dates. Heck, even fat chicks and ugly chicks have a steady supply of suiters! It's incredible that good looking men can go years without a date and fat women and ugly women will go maybe 5 or 6 months without a date!

In other countries it's just the opposite where the women are the ones who go years without dates and the guys go just a few months without a date. Strange social conditions indeed in the US! :shock:
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Postby jamesbond » Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:22 pm

It's as if in the US, working is the only thing that matters to a persons life. That's why the media focuses on jobs and the economy and not the social conditions in the US. WTF? Dating, love and sex are not important to report on in the media, only the economy, jobs and what's going on in celebrities lives!
Who gives a shit what is happening in Paris Hiltons life? I care more about the social conditions here in the US!
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Postby Winston » Tue Sep 29, 2009 8:40 am

So true my disciple :)

The media lies and perpetuates this myth that all you need to be happy is to work and consume. It does this obviously to bolster the economy, which is its job. It also feeds you stories that keep you living in fear and paranoia, so you will keep working and consuming and be afraid to do anything else. It's really sickening. Even today they continue this lie.

Yet most Americans look grumpy, irritable and overweight. They are quick to anger too. Common sense will tell you that those who are quick to anger tend to be unhappy inside.

I don't even watch the news media. Its stories are all designed to keep you living in fear and paranoia. And it's "newsworthy" topics are irrelevant to my life. And very boring too. They don't talk about anything deep, meaningful or intellectual. They also talk to you like you're dumb too.

Yeah and dates in other countries are more natural. You hold hands, say "I like you" to each other, flirt and then start kissing. And that's it, just like it is in the movies. But in the US you have to play fake silly games that don't even work or get results, and the whole process feels unnatural. Holding a conversation is unnatural too or expressing your interest in a girl. Even in the Philippines, where many girls are uneducated and simple, at least holding a conversation with a girl FEELS NATURAL, even if it's not an intelligent conversation!

But in the US, it's not just hard, but UNNATURAL as well. It's as if there is NOTHING you can say to keep a conversation with an American girl flow smoothly. The techniques in the PUA manuals don't seem to work either, at keeping a conversation with an American girl flowing naturally.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby momopi » Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:23 am

jamesbond wrote:It's as if in the US, working is the only thing that matters to a persons life. That's why the media focuses on jobs and the economy and not the social conditions in the US. WTF? Dating, love and sex are not important to report on in the media, only the economy, jobs and what's going on in celebrities lives!
Who gives a shit what is happening in Paris Hiltons life? I care more about the social conditions here in the US!


If you're referring to the 6-O clock news, the only time when they touch these subjects is when local colleges impose new rules on students having sex in their dorm rooms. The walls are kinda thin and you can hear the people next door humping their brains out.

For mass media outlets, there are many others that cover men's lifestyle topics. I believe Tom Leykis and Howard Sterns (?) have already been mentioned, there are many other lesser known "gurus" on the air. In print, we have many magazines in 2 opposing subcultures, the New Man (GQ, Esquire) vs. Laddish (FHM, Maxim, Stuff) culture.

I'm sure we've all seen GQ/Esquire/FHM/Maxim/Stuff/etc at our local news stands. So I'll cite some ethnic & international ones that might interest the readers here:

http://www.loaded.co.uk/
http://www.nuts.co.uk/
http://www.frontarmy.co.uk/
http://www.oyemag.com/
https://www.smoothmag.com/
etc.

Ok so let's have a look at SYLK:
http://www.sylkmagazine.com/thearticles ... /sex_love/

It's not that "nobody ever talks about love sex relationships", or "everyone only talks about the economy and celebrities", you just need to look in the right places to get what you want. The economy and Michael Jackson has broad appeal and get in the 6-O clock news. Men's dating advice titled "Do you suffer from nice guy syndrome" has a much smaller audience and thus you find it in men's magazines.
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Postby momopi » Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:44 am

Vinstonas wrote:But in the US, it's not just hard, but UNNATURAL as well. It's as if there is NOTHING you can say to keep a conversation with an American girl flow smoothly. The techniques in the PUA manuals don't seem to work either, at keeping a conversation with an American girl flowing naturally.


Speaking of PUA's, I'm curious as to what you think of the Asian Playboy guy. He even named you in his blog:

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/200 ... asian.html
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/200 ... ayboy.html

His seminar topics:
http://www.abcsofattraction.com/power.php

News article on him:
http://www.asianweek.com/2008/02/08/pro ... %E2%80%99/

Proselytizing ?the Game?

February 8, 2008
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Cover

Decoding the Asian Playboy, the world?s greatest Asian pick-up artist

NEW YORK ? Clad in a black leather motorcycle jacket with red racing stripes, he stood at 5?6?, with his hair in a textured faux hawk and a wispy mustache and goatee at the bottom of his boyish face. This was the Asian playboy.

Self-described as the ?Asian Hitch? and a ?hard ass drill sergeant of a pick-up artist instructor,? the Asian Playboy serves as a guide into the underground world of seduction.

In every major city across the world, there lies a more duplicitous subset of the nightlife community. Known as the ?seduction community,? they organize themselves into regional chapters called ?lairs,? and meet to trade stories or discuss new pick-up tactics and strategies.

Although highlighted by Neil Strauss? bestselling book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists, and VH1?s reality series, The Pick-Up Artist, true pick-up artists generally prefer to operate discreetly, their advances and techniques only recognizable by their peers. They often adopt an appellation to conceal their true identities as they intoxicate the nightlife scene gallivanting as modern day Lotharios, using seduction as their only drug.

Born in Texas as Jerry Tran ? the Asian Playboy aka ?APB,? or as he prefers to be called, ?JT? ? studied aerospace engineering at the Florida Institute of Technology before becoming a professional social swinger. ?For me, it was graduating from college, and I go out to California and realize I just sucked [at my social skills],? Tran explained. ?So, I decided to do something about it.?

He turned to what he knew best as an engineer: research, self-education, and reverse-engineering the social protocols and processes in the nightlife scene.

On the Internet, Tran encountered the writings of Erik von Markovik, aka ?Mystery,? a master pick-up artist featured in Strauss? book and the VH1 series. He signed up for Mystery?s boot camp as a primer for becoming a pick-up artist. But the real development of a young pick-up protégé begins in the weeks after boot camp, affectionately referred to as ?beginner?s hell.?

?There were weeks when I trained four to seven nights a week,? Tran explained about the effort it took to overcome his ?approach anxiety,? or the anxiety felt when striking and maintaining a conversation with total strangers, and become ?socially acclimated.?

That was four years ago. Since then, he has emerged as a master pick-up artist and entrepreneur who has founded his own company, evolved a new pick-up system called the ?ABCs of Attraction,? and now travels around the world running his own boot camps aimed toward Asian and ethnic men. In 2007, he won the title of ?The World?s Greatest Asian Pick-up Artist? at the Global Seduction Summit in Hollywood. ?It?s actually a little grandiose,? he laughed about the peer-voted honor. ?It?s not like there?s a formal body or anything that decides.?

Although he admits ?the game? is no different for Asian men, Tran explained the need for an ethnic specific boot camp by stressing the recognition of societal influences from stereotypes and the media. ?There will always be underlying perceptions that people have about Asian men ? that we?re small, misogynistic, stable, effeminate, have small penises, asexual, etc.,? Tran said.

Noting the sentiment of frustration felt by many Asian Pacific American men, Tran acknowledged that his program was not for everybody. ?There?s been a lot of anger. You can either do something about it or you can wallow in your own self-pity. [The latter] are the guys that I can?t help. ? They don?t want to take responsibility for their own mediocrity in life.?

The boot camps span three days from 6 p.m. to 3 a.m. each day. Three to four hours each day are dedicated to lectures and workshops, followed by hands-on practice at a local nightlife establishment. At the end of the night, the students meet to recap.

At a recent New York boot camp, students ranged from early-20s-to-mid-30s, most were Ivy League-educated, and some worked in finance, consulting and law. They did not seem particularly socially awkward or unattractive, but all were motivated by dissatisfaction with their social lives and wanted to embody more of the alpha male qualities they respected.

Tran wants to teach Asian American men to leverage their ethnicity in dating, instead of ignoring it. ?There?s the Asian guy who tries to be as white as possible in order to get girls. And he will. And he hates everything about being Asian. And then there?s a guy who tries to be super-Asian. He hangs out in Chinatown and only dates Asian women. Both of who will succeed in spite of being Asian. What I?m trying to teach is to be successful because you?re Asian.? For example: ?Very rarely will people think that we are rapists. You can use that to your advantage. Women don?t have to worry about their physical safety around us. But, we have to be more sexual, be more direct.?

Tran feels little unease about evangelizing a method in which men could potentially exploit weaknesses in women, notwithstanding the fact that the inherent goal of ?the game? involves the objectification of women.

?It is true that a lot of this is misogynistic,? Tran conceded. ?I try to lead by my own lifestyle, by setting a good example. But at the same time, I don?t teach ethics. It?s up to each guy to decide what to do with it.?

Not surprisingly, many object to Tran?s line of work. ?I do get a lot of hatred within the Asian community, especially the Asian feminists. They despise me,? Tran said. ?We?re the only ethnic group where the women sexually outperform the men.?

Asian pick-up artists seek to sexually empower themselves to balance the scales and serve as an antidote to the emasculated Asian male archetype. Tran also did not disagree with the characterization that what he teaches are the skills to be misogynists and bed as many women as possible.

?Is there something wrong with that?? Tran countered. ?On a sheer population level, white guys are good at that far more than we are. This just puts us on par with everyone else. We?re often the backup plan [for Asian women]. ? So when the options [for potential mates] begin to dwindle, it starts to threaten your confidence.?

After all, he pointed out, ?I never lie to them,? adding that the only thing he offers to women is a good time.

On the final night of the boot camp, at the Hotel Gansevoort?s rooftop lounge, the Asian Playboy stood against the bar smugly surveying his new protégés. The efficacy of his methods was evident: His students were confidently working the room, chatting with groups of beautiful, well-to-do women ? blondes, brunettes, you name it.

?Isn?t this a good time? I?m in my element!? he shouted as he disappeared into the crowd.

Visit www.abcsofattraction.com for the schedule of boot camps. Private boot camps and boot camps in unlisted cities can also be arranged.

Written by David Shaw · Filed Under Featured
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Postby Winston » Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:15 am

Why are you paying attention to that PUA nonsense? You should know better.

I thought you didn't need any of that stuff yourself?

There is no such thing as "game". Only people who want to sell you some secret "technique" or "book of secrets" talk about that.

Frankly, I've never known one person whose dating life was turned around by PUA methods who could prove it and demonstrate it. It's all BS from what I've seen.

In my new executive summary of Happier Abroad, I wrote a section about PUA and how artificial and unique to America they are. Here it is:

f) The existence of a subculture industry in America for Seduction/Pick Up Artist Gurus (Mystery, Ross Jeffries, David DeAngelo, and many others), where men pay for seminars and books from teachers claiming to have "mastered techniques" for meeting and bedding women. This artificial "industry" has been on the rise lately, so that even Dr. Phil has featured some of them on his show. They've even treated this as a whole "scientific field of study". (My God) This should tell you a lot right there. Why would such a natural thing like male/female courtship need to be reduced to a "technique" or "science" as though it were a difficult subject that needed to be "mastered"? (Sheesh) In other countries, it's just like you see in the movies - boy meets girl, they flirt, hold hands, say "I like you" to each other, then kiss and so forth - it's completely natural. (I've experienced that firsthand many times abroad) Also, the students of this industry even have to "master an art" just to hold conversations with women, which in other countries is the most natural thing in the world! Now the thing is, this type of industry is unheard of in other countries. I challenge you to find another country where men pay "seduction or pick up artist gurus" to teach them how to meet women. You can't, cause in other countries, the process is natural and flows normally, not F ed up like in the US. The "chumps" in this subculture never stop to ask the obvious question: "Why doesn't this industry exist in other countries too?" (And suffice to say, I've have yet to meet a single person who could demonstrate and prove that these PUA/seduction techniques turned his love/dating life around 180)

The AsianPlayboy wrote about me long ago. I'll go back there and show him a few links.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:03 am

Here's some Asians in the AsianPlayboy Blog who said they didn't need "game" abroad and that it felt natural.

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/200 ... ayboy.html

Asian Playboy, I was reading your blog and had a question. Would you agree that it is not even worth trying pick up white girls in California?

What I mean is that the effort is not even worth the benefit.When I was in Europe, I had sex with a girl in Berlin and kissed several other girls in some hostels I stayed it.

It was not easy but it was not hard either. It just felt natural because the girls liked me, and I could tell they liked me. Here in California, I just think the overall environment is very negative for Asian guys.

I don't think it's even worth going through all the effort just to get a kiss here, or sex there. I think it's better to just leave California altogether where Asian guys are more respected. That to me means Europe!
-T


One question I had while researching it was the lack of information on the subtleties regarding being an Asian man. Well, damn good to find it here. I do have to say that while in California I had next to nil luck, but was able to score SO MUCH better(tho unfortunately I ain't headed back to CA with a hot euro babe in tow) while on my 8 month stint here in Europe. While in London I've seen a handful of AM/HotWF couples, which made me think the game's much more favorable here. Sure, you still have to have game, but why bother with playing it on dirt when you can have a plush astroturf? If relocating is an option, go ahead!
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby momopi » Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:54 am

Vinstonas wrote:There is no such thing as "game". Only people who want to sell you some secret "technique" or "book of secrets" talk about that.


How do you define "game" ?

I define it (in slang) as a person's ability to charm and seduce, and I've known people who are good at it here in California. However, I don't think it's something that they can fully transfer to you via teaching -- students come in all shapes and sizes, and not everyone will fit the teacher's shoes.

It'd be easy to cherry pick his forum for whatever side you want to take, i.e.:
http://www.abcofattraction.com/communit ... =41&t=2241

But that'd be a waste of time. Fact is that some of his students will do better after the seminar, and for the rest it'd be a waste of money.
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