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Women outside the USA
Posted: April 16th, 2010, 1:36 pm
You may recall my threads from some time ago
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... 7842#17842
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... 8003#18003
I am completing an extended trip abroad. In regards to women and our critiques on them, which is mostly what this site is all about and entirely what it was founded on, I will say that much that is stated on this website is true. It is like being on a different planet. Now I see how much damage the US matrix has done - 20 years of baggage and issues, mistrust and rejection are ingrained into my view on reality. I assume rejection before I even talk to a woman, which ruins the potential for connecting with her at all. In the states, a man is openly described as pathetic if he approaches a woman, asks for her number, etc. I can see that going outside of the US matrix behavior pattern produces unimaginable results here that would be impossible in the US.... for example, if a woman gives you her number, she may actually answer when you call her and may be interested in getting together... Fake phone numbers and emails and non follow-up are totally standard in the US now, where I admit I have never actually learned or understood how men and women connect outside of a bar/party scene. It could take many years to begin reprogramming myself
However, I am WAY out of my element and have no idea what I am doing. I met a man who is traveling here from Western Europe and he uses methods to meet women that would be 100% impossible in the US and he connects with many women. (not that I want to wander around screwing people). I have to learn how to approach women and interact and have found places where there is actually a way to learn - an dynamic for men and women interacting that produces sane and rational results, such as friendships, relationships, and marriages.
Posted: April 16th, 2010, 7:52 pm
I did most of my dating in Europe and only a couple girls here in the States. The girls I dated in the US were either completely psycho or had serious baggage or were damaged goods. In Europe, the girls were kinder, gentler, happier, and much more feminine. I don't know your personality, but I tend to have pretty high standards and don't tolerate bullshit from women who just want to play games. By and large the only women I found who were overbearing and played games were the German girls. They tended to be approachable but very cynical and rude. The French ladies tend to treat love a bit as a game, but if you're sincere and show some class and treat them well, they become very attached to you. Do be careful with the Slavic ladies, since they know how gorgeous they are and there certainly are some that are just gold-diggers. Just keep your wits about you, be yourself, be natural, compliment them, and treat them with respect and you'll get very far. The dating process is MUCH more natural in Europe. Forget the US girls: they don't deserve you. If it means anything, even though I'm now married (to a lady from Italy), I am still good friends with many of the girls I dated in Europe. They're just that kind of calibre of genuine people.
Posted: April 21st, 2010, 7:08 am
Hmmm what countries have you been in exactly Jay?
Women overseas are more approachable, in most countries, but that doesn't mean they are always easy to bed. In countries that aren't poor, they will be more distinguishing and picky about who they sleep with. But it's always easy to meet people overseas and chat them up.
As to what approach style to use and what to say, I'd have to say that it's not about what you say or any formula or technique that you use. It's all very personal. It depends on the person, the situation, how you are perceived, your chemistry, your vibes, etc. You have to make a judgment call. Use your instincts.
If a Euro girl likes you, you will know it. It will be in her body language. She will give you the signs. It's not something you make happen by doing something special or magical. Some guys have a vibe and personality that just makes girls want them. So they have more fun and more choices. They don't do anything that you need to learn. It's natural to them. It's a combination of their looks, vibe, personality and the chemistry they have with other girls. When you got it, you just go with the flow and the girls are attracted to you and get physical with you.
But this isn't something you can generate out of nowhere. You gotta find the markets that value you the most and work with it.
When you meet a Euro girl, say on the street for example, and are chatting her up, you can tell how open she is and her level of interest in you. It's in her eyes, body language, and vibes. A girl who likes you will cause you to feel a surge of enthusiasm and tenseness being directed AT you, whereas a disinterested girl will look off in other directions and you will sense her energy going AWAY from you. It's a big difference.
If she is interested, you don't have to do anything. Just make polite talk and ask her to go for a walk, coffee, or to see a museum or historic site with you. Things will develop naturally from there.
You gotta learn to read people and situations. That's key.
If you want to play it safe, just ask a girl you want to meet for directions. Then gauge her interest and body language. If she has a boyfriend waiting around the corner, you will not risk anything cause if he comes out and sees you, he will see that you are just asking directions and so it does not look like you are hitting on his girlfriend. After asking directions, ask for recommendations and then ask her about herself and what she's doing today. If she seems interested in chatting with you, then ask her for coffee or for a walk to see something, and of course ask if she is alone or with company (friends or boyfriend nearby). Or just ask her number to get together later.
It either flows from there, or it doesn't.
Like I said, it also depends on how desirable you are to them. It's very subjective, and all you can do is be the best of who you are. Be outgoing, talkative, enthusiastic, charming, funny, lighthearted, and dress nice, etc.
If she is a quiet serious type, you may have to try to be that way too. If she is humorous, then try to be funny. Try to tailor your personality to suit hers if you want to get along.
Posted: April 22nd, 2010, 6:52 pm
Jay, you said:
"I met a man who is traveling here from Western Europe and he uses methods to meet women that would be 100% impossible in the US and he connects with many women.... I have to totally learnhow to approach women and interact to produce that natural result...."
Why don't you ask this guy what he does and try to emulate him? If you did, what happened when you tried the same methods? What does he do exactly?
Re: How to approach women in E. Europe & what online pla
Posted: April 22nd, 2010, 8:43 pm
I am completing a trip through the Balkans. Pretty much everything stated on this website is true, it is like being on a different planet. Now I see how much damage the US matrix has done - 20 years of baggage and issues, mistrust and rejection are ingrained into my view on reality. I assume rejection before I even talk to a woman, which ruins the potential for doing anything with her at all. In the states, a man is openly described as pathetic if he approaches a woman, asks for her number, etc. I can see that going outside of the US matrix behavior pattern produces unimaginable results here that would be impossible in the US.... for example, if a woman gives you her number, she may actually answer when you call her and may actually be interested in getting together.... It could take many years to begin reprogramming myself.
That's a brilliant revelation above Jay. I've added it to my "testimonials that dating is all about location" page here:
Hope you don't mind and are honored