Happier Abroad Forum Community

Repatriate wrote:
This is how young professionals tend to meet each other in Taiwan...social networking. The ones that go to night clubs and the like to meet people are actually in the minority.

In my experience, the good looking / hot / spicy / buff / etc. younger people love to go out to clubs to be seen, show themselves off, and get attention. In the Taipei companies I worked in or had a lot of contact with, I found that single girls you would notice, especially the head turners, would generally be into clubbing, sometimes even a bit under the table depending on the industry and particular firm's corporate culture. Its much more common for the plain Janes to be uninterested in night activities.

A lot of girls in Taiwan are quite vain and becoming more self oriented. Taiwan and other developed East Asian countries now have the world's lowest fertility rates. So much for the prototypical Asian family focus.

Winston wrote:
...you gangster looking convict!

Your words would be taken as a BIG COMPLIMENT by many. Many dudes in the States try to so hard to pull-off such a look and, IMO, their popularity with American women is strongly correlated with how tough (in the right way) they appear.

The way you characterize him is essentially at the opposite end of the spectrum from the geeky nerdy types you imply would be hardest put to attract women.

Winston wrote:
But that dude, if he went to America, would not be able to get any chicks. If those two were in America, they'd be mismatched. Maybe in TW they are matched. But in the US, she would be considered far hotter than him.

What you've stated above is a key reason I claim Taiwan can provide regular Joe types from the US and other western countries with a strong dating and social handicap.

Winston, don't you ever tell other people on here to stop attacking you when you say bullshit like that. I have never been in jail, I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I changed my screenname because I can.

I was trying to help your punk ass out, but you are always defensive. No wonder no one gives you advice. You will just call people names.

Yuck? Calling me yuck? Don't you know I can get girls and you can't? I am a convict? LMFAO. You are a piece of work man. You need to grow the f**k up. I have never been in the "hood" and you can keep stereotyping people all you want l you are the one looking like a damn fool.

You should be ashamed of yourself. You don't even know me and if you did, you wouldn't be saying ignorant shit like I am a felon and I don't even have a criminal record. I am getting a little tired of you talking shit about people when they give you advice. You really need to stop acting like a diva. I would tear you a new asshole, but I am in a good mood and you are not worth it.

Rock, Keius, and Repatriate have said things about how you dress and how much older you look, but I am spreading lies? What the f**k is wrong with you? I thought you were a "truth seeker."? You don't want to hear the truth if it is about you huh? Pull your panties up and stop being so defensive when people try to help you out. I can't believe you said yuck lol. I am 26, in great shape and I can get women of any ethnicity in America and I also talk to women from other continents, but you are saying I am yuck? Alright, keep living in your life of delusion. Don't you come in this thread saying I am doing this and that. Stop attacking people for no reason and stereotyping them out.

Winston, contrary to popular belief, someone has an opinion different than yours and you have to live with that or does everyone in the world need to kiss your ass? You always say you want conversations with other intellectuals since you are an intellectual yourself, but you attacked me throwing out bullshit like I look like a gangster and I am not even close to being the stereotypical black guys you see on BET or in real life. I actually speak and write in Proper English. I don't sag my pants, I don't wear golds in my mouth, etc.

I thought you were better than this, Winston, but I was wrong. Take the tampons out of your ass.

Rock wrote:

Winston wrote:
...you gangster looking convict!

Your words would be taken as a BIG COMPLIMENT by many. Many dudes in the States try to so hard to pull-off such a look and, IMO, their popularity with American women is strongly correlated with how tough (in the right way) they appear.

The way you characterize him is essentially at the opposite end of the spectrum from the geeky nerdy types you imply would be hardest put to attract women.

People say I look mean, but when they get to KNOW me, they say I am the nicest person they have ever met. I don't have problems getting women. White, Latina, Asian, etc. I talk to them all. I am just tired of America as a whole and I want to have a new life in another country. I used to be the nerd too, but I realized at the age of 16 that I needed to give myself a makeover. It worked. Shaved my head, grew out a mustache and goatee and the rest was history. Improving yourself works wonders, but telling Winston that, oh no, don't say he dresses like a lumberjack. Oh no, don't ever say that!

Judging people before you even get to know them...No one on this forum would ever call me a "gangster convict" in real life if we met in person.

Winston wrote: Like Momopi said, it's about comfort and guanxi or "shared connection". That is the first key. I do notice that Taiwanese girls, when you get to know them, feel like a a "close friend" or "sister" as well, not just a dating potential. I guess that's the beauty of genuine Asian women, that they can date you and give the connection of a close friend or sister at the same time. That wouldn't be the case with white girls usually.

關係 is personal connection where you give and receive favors, it does not necessarily imply a close personal relationship or friendship.

In TW some people use the Japanese loan-word 気持ち as a slang for how they feel, in a "feeling" sense. i.e. 気持ち悪い for feeling negative about something or someone. To put it in a simple two-dimensional way, building better and closer relationship depends on doing things that generate positive feeling with the person instead of negative feeling. If you want a better cultural context on this, try playing social sim video games like Harvest Moon:

Gentlemen, methinks this discussion has gotten too personal and too emotional to the point that we risk sliding into a high school-like name calling/playing dozens type session. Can we all please calm down? As one of the Founding Fathers once said-" Gentlemen, let's hang together, or most definitely we will hang separately". Let us elevate ourselves a bit, shall we.

What I have been observing is that we very often move away from practical things and slide into something of the he said this but he said that stuff. Unworthy of all of us. And when giving advice to each other, let us be civil and diplomatic.

Been in Asia too long, no longer used to this.

Repatriate, guess what? I have news for you.

1. Last night, I talked to 3 Taiwanese girls for several hours - one that I met with Rock in Taichung, another from Facebook, and another introduced to me by a lady in Chiayi. I developed good rapport with them and got very positive sweet vibes from them. They are all interested in meeting up.

So what you said about me having no conversation skills and being a dude in both looks and social skills is UNTRUE! When will you lower your pride and admit the obvious? A real man is not afraid to admit that he's wrong.

2. The girl I met from dateinasia who calls me a lot, says that each time she talks to me, it puts her in a good mood. She says I am very uplifting to be around and talk to. That's obviously a very important key thing. More important than the bullshit social skills you talk of. After all, if people FEEL BETTER about themselves when they are around you, then they will want to be around you more. That's far better than being around overly critical shallow people like you, isn't it? It goes without saying.

(Since many say that I have an uplifting and relaxing presence, I think I will offer myself as a general consultant on my consultation page at http://www.happierabroad.com/consultation.php)

3. Several girls have called me cute so far. The girl that Rock and I were with said I was very cute. And last year, Momopi's date said 2 times during dinner that I was "so cute" in an endearing way. And last night, the girl I met with Rock told me over the phone that the waitress in the Karaoke pub, who is her friend, told her privately, "That Winston guy is really cute. When will you guys come visit again?" Obviously if the waitress was just being polite, why would she say that private to her friend? It's not like I was around to be humored. Duh.

4. The girl that I met with Rock said that I have a baby face and look like a student, implying that I look younger than my age. I'm sure glad she doesn't agree with you guys.

With all the evidence combined above, why is it so f***ing hard for you to believe that some girls do find me cute?

Do you have such a big emotional investment in your claim that I am a total dud in looks and personality? Sheesh.

Furthermore, all you guys here who said that Repatriate was "spot on" about me, ought to be ashamed of yourselves!

Anyway, if girls think I'm cute and uplifting, etc. what does it matter what Repatriate and Phoenix Sosa thinks? I am not trying to date those guys.

Finally, remember guys, we are here to uplift and support each other, not bash each other. Happy healthy people don't do that. If they receive happiness from others, they spread it around. The only type of people who spread shallow criticisms around (Repatriate, Phoenix Sosa, etc) are those who have received such things themselves. In other words, they are unhappy people trying to spread their misery. You guys need to deal with your inner issues first. This forum is supposed to be a supportive place. Remember that.

PS - There seems to be a sort of "hive mind" with Taiwanese girls. It's like if one likes me or sees me favorably, then four or five do so at the same time. Kind of odd, like there is some collective consciousness. lol. Either that, or perhaps my luck runs in streaks. lol

Phoenix Sosa wrote:Winston, don't you ever tell other people on here to stop attacking you when you say bullshit like that. I have never been in jail, I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I changed my screenname because I can.

I was trying to help your punk ass out, but you are always defensive. No wonder no one gives you advice. You will just call people names.

Yuck? Calling me yuck? Don't you know I can get girls and you can't? I am a convict? LMFAO. You are a piece of work man. You need to grow the f**k up. I have never been in the "hood" and you can keep stereotyping people all you want l you are the one looking like a damn fool.

You should be ashamed of yourself. You don't even know me and if you did, you wouldn't be saying ignorant shit like I am a felon and I don't even have a criminal record. I am getting a little tired of you talking shit about people when they give you advice. You really need to stop acting like a diva. I would tear you a new asshole, but I am in a good mood and you are not worth it.

Rock, Keius, and Repatriate have said things about how you dress and how much older you look, but I am spreading lies? What the f**k is wrong with you? I thought you were a "truth seeker."? You don't want to hear the truth if it is about you huh? Pull your panties up and stop being so defensive when people try to help you out. I can't believe you said yuck lol. I am 26, in great shape and I can get women of any ethnicity in America and I also talk to women from other continents, but you are saying I am yuck? Alright, keep living in your life of delusion. Don't you come in this thread saying I am doing this and that. Stop attacking people for no reason and stereotyping them out.

Winston, contrary to popular belief, someone has an opinion different than yours and you have to live with that or does everyone in the world need to kiss your ass? You always say you want conversations with other intellectuals since you are an intellectual yourself, but you attacked me throwing out bullshit like I look like a gangster and I am not even close to being the stereotypical black guys you see on BET or in real life. I actually speak and write in Proper English. I don't sag my pants, I don't wear golds in my mouth, etc.

I thought you were better than this, Winston, but I was wrong. Take the tampons out of your ass.

Dude, I am a VERY FAIR person. I give what I get. You gave me shit and lies. I gave that back to you. I don't see anything special about you other than that you have some muscles.

I can get girls. Who said I can't? Have you seen my photo collage? Why are you spreading lies about me again? I hate that. I've banned people for that. Do you want to join them? If not, quit making shit up about me.

I don't give a f**k if you hate my looks. I ain't trying to date you. My other black bros don't do that. Only you do. What is your problem?

No one in person says I look older or like a nerd. Only some weirdos online say that.

If you are not a convict and not a gangster, then fine. Stop spreading lies about me and I'll stop spreading lies about. I give what I get.

We are supposed to UPLIFT each other here. Why are you spreading shit? I ought to ban your ass.

If you can get girls in the US, why are you here?

People that come here usually admire my writing and my work and my content on this site. Those are the types that are drawn here. If you like the guys here, then why the hell do you act like I am a worthless dud? If I was a worthless dud, no one would be here cause my site would be shit and worthless. But it isn't. If I were a worthless dud, Rock and Momopi would not hang out with me. Those two guys are men of high standards. They would not hang out with someone who was a worthless dud. Think about it.

If I thought some guy was a worthless dud with no inner or outer qualities and no personality or looks, I would never post on his forum. No way. If you guys held me in such low opinions, then why are you here? You must be insane. The people here that you enjoy chatting with are people that resonate me and relate to my work in some way, so if you like them, then you should like me too. So what's your problem?

Finally, you can ask Rock to call the girl we went out with. She thinks that I look like a young student. He can confirm that with her by calling and asking her. I don't give a f**k how old YOU think I am. I'm not dating you dude. It's nice that women see me as younger and have better things to say about me than you do.

You guys keep assuming that YOUR opinion of me is what the whole world thinks of me. IT IS NOT. THAT IS A HUGE FALLACY ON YOUR PART.

Ladislav, I agree. These guys are being asses and dickwipes and saying lies and shit about me that are not true. You should encourage them to stop. We are here to uplift each other. These guys defeat the meaning of that.

Btw, I have a date tomorrow. So I don't want to read this thread and all the BS in it or else it might put me in a bad mood. I'd rather be in a GOOD mood for my date than a bad one. And I'm sure my date would rather I be in a good mood when I see her too, not in a bad one cause of the shit in this thread that's trying to bring me down and put me in a bad light. Gosh.

To the guys trying to make me feel like shit and spreading lies, I say F you! I FEEL GOOD about myself and have a good time. Spread your shit somewhere else. I choose to be happy and be around those that like me and appreciate me, not a bunch of liars and meanies like you.

Phoenix Sosa wrote:

Rock wrote:

Winston wrote:
...you gangster looking convict!

Your words would be taken as a BIG COMPLIMENT by many. Many dudes in the States try to so hard to pull-off such a look and, IMO, their popularity with American women is strongly correlated with how tough (in the right way) they appear.

The way you characterize him is essentially at the opposite end of the spectrum from the geeky nerdy types you imply would be hardest put to attract women.

People say I look mean, but when they get to KNOW me, they say I am the nicest person they have ever met. I don't have problems getting women. White, Latina, Asian, etc. I talk to them all. I am just tired of America as a whole and I want to have a new life in another country. I used to be the nerd too, but I realized at the age of 16 that I needed to give myself a makeover. It worked. Shaved my head, grew out a mustache and goatee and the rest was history. Improving yourself works wonders, but telling Winston that, oh no, don't say he dresses like a lumberjack. Oh no, don't ever say that!

Judging people before you even get to know them...No one on this forum would ever call me a "gangster convict" in real life if we met in person.

No one says the kind of shit you say about me in person either. So why are you doing it online? You don't seem like a very nice guy online, so why would I assume you are a nice guy offline?

Btw, the clothes I wore that you are judging me on were from pics in 2003, not currently. Nowadays I dress better and am better prepared. I can easily go into a department store and choose hip looking trendy clothes, leather jackets, etc. Stuff that looks cool that appears in magazines and TV shows.

But this talk about clothes is really shallow. I've never won or lost a girl cause of my clothes alone. Shallow people will find something about you to not like, if it's not your clothes, it'll be something else.

What barn burner this has become. LOL

Ive noticed one thing about forums, there will always be a small minority of guys who just have to be dicks to people and start to turn the thread into a flame war attacking and debasing someone. Sometimes its direct and others times its done in a sly deceiptful way of saying "trying to be your buddy by being honest with you but you just cant accept honest constructive criticism".

Look, you CANT say "you look a bit like a Chinese uncle or a taxi guy" and think you are offering constructive cristicism. That right there is uncalled for and a start of a flame war. If you dont see that then you are an idiot. That's is being an asshole in my opinion and I dont even remember who said it first. And I say that not just because Im a Winston fan (which I am, except for his nutty US govt conspiracy theories, LOL, sorry winston ; ) but I say that because Ive always had disdain for people who start attacking someone. Saying that is nothing short of a personal insult, no ifs ands or butts about it. There's no call for it. If you have sincere constructive criticism, you can offer suggestions in a unoffensive positive way such as "Winston, I think you would be more attractive to the ladies if you did this or that etc etc". If you disagree with his philosophy, just say so. take him to task in a intellectual way. Its pretty easy to disagree while remaining non offensive. When guys dont have the abillity or mind power to debate with logic, facts, and intellect, they debate with attacks and personal insults.

IMHO , about Winston, no, he wont be appearing on the front page of GQ anytime soon. (Sorry winston, Im sure you know that much by now, he he he), but I can totally see how many woman will find him "cute". Alot of woman like the cute cuddly teddy bear type. Winston fits that category (sort of has a baby face IMHO and the extra weight makes him like a teddy bear to them) and I can see that will be his niche. Woman in general are pretty forgiving of extra weight or looks if they like the guy. I can see how a lot of woman will easily find him cute, especially with a playful light hearted personality to match his teddy bear looks. But sexy??? Probably not his niche. But who am I to say, or speak for some of the ladies. Maybe some girls have called him that. After all, Beauty (or sexy?) is in the eye of the beholder as they say.

One thing for sure, I havent seen where Winston attacks or insults anyone in his postings (other than responding to an attack on himself).

Its perfectly ok to have a different opinion about something, or to offer constructive criticism. But its clear when it crosses the line into insults which is what happened here. And there is often a bit of a pile on effect when a flame war starts in forums, especially by those personality types that get gratification out of attacking people. Ive never been fond of people who have to be nasty to others like that.

And I dont agree that Winston is "needy" for woman's approval. Ive never gotten that impression. What might make it look that way is his having to defend himself by rebutting charges that woman dont like him, so naturally he will focus on disproving that claim by offering up evidence.

About the model, who knows. Yes, many girls may say things just to make us guys feel good. Maybe she REALLY meant it , WInston does present a pretty good argument that she could have chosen to say more neutral yet polite wording but she didnt. But who is anyone to say that she didnt mean it? Lets not assume that models are all the same and only like the 6 pack sleek muscular types. Ill agree that Winston isnt going to be gracing any covers of modeling magazines, (but neither are most of us for that matter), but to say most woman in asian countries dont find him attractive, well, that goes a bit far IMHO. Of course in america, white chicks simply dont dig asian men in the first place, no surprise there.

Well, there's my 2 cents worth for what its worth. Winston did not start this flame war. Retracing the thread makes that much clear. To say someone looks like a taxi driver or uncle (who is attracted to their uncle, thats incestous and gross) is not honest constructive criticism even if you think it is. Its an insult.

steve55 wrote:What barn burner this has become. LOL

Ive noticed one thing about forums, there will always be a small minority of guys who just have to be dicks to people and start to turn the thread into a flame war attacking and debasing someone. Sometimes its direct and others times its done in a sly deceiptful way of saying "trying to be your buddy by being honest with you but you just cant accept honest constructive criticism".

Look, in all fairness, Winston puts himself out there like no other. He's basically posted his life story in microscopic detail along with abundant photographic and video documentation. Anyone who does that publicly is going to attract attacks and criticism from certain types. If you expose your whole self publicly and candidly, you may get a fan group but you will also have to tolerate frequent criticisms.

To Repatriate and others, please don't criticize things that can't be changed. IMO, its just a way of hurting people. Sometimes, it seems like when Winston gets enthused or excited about a positive development, people like to put-him down and then offer a bit of token advice at the end.

Its constructive to give advice on things that can be changed. But I think its better to focus on the solution rather than the problem.

BTW, last I heard from Winston, he had a few pearls (prospects) he was working and was on his way to date one of them. Clearly, these girls must find something attractive about him or they wouldn't be keen to chat with him or meet him, right?

steve55 wrote:
Look, you CANT say "you look a bit like a Chinese uncle or a taxi guy" and think you are offering constructive cristicism. That right there is uncalled for and a start of a flame war. If you dont see that then you are an idiot. That's is being an asshole in my opinion and I dont even remember who said it first. And I say that not just because Im a Winston fan (which I am, except for his nutty US govt conspiracy theories, LOL, sorry winston ; ) but I say that because Ive always had disdain for people who start attacking someone. Saying that is nothing short of a personal insult, no ifs ands or butts about it. There's no call for it. If you have sincere constructive criticism, you can offer suggestions in a unoffensive positive way such as "Winston, I think you would be more attractive to the ladies if you did this or that etc etc". If you disagree with his philosophy, just say so. take him to task in a intellectual way. Its pretty easy to disagree while remaining non offensive. When guys dont have the abillity or mind power to debate with logic, facts, and intellect, they debate with attacks and personal insults.

1. I was the first one to say he could pass for a credible local taxi driver if he dressed the part and developed the right mannerisms. And I also followed by bringing up the example of Sasha Baron Cohen who can pull-off 4 entirely different looks and styles with amazing credibility. Anyway, it was not meant as an insult. I did it as part of an idea he could consider - become more locally aware as a way of figuring out how to tap into Taiwan's dating potential.

He had been going on and on for months complaining about how impossible it is to approach female strangers in Taiwan get dates with local girls. From my own experience and that of many others I observed, I knew that what he was writing was just not true. Obviously, there was something wrong with his thinking or actions and he was challenging people on the forum to prove him wrong or explain why he was always getting shot-down. Those challenges attracted many responses including a few people claiming that his looks or style was at least part of the problem. BTW, I was not one of those people who criticized his looks or style other than the taxi driver comment which ironically was made to suggest that if he localized a bit, he might be able to bond with other locals and tap into a social pipeline. Repatriate had mentioned seeing many older local boss types in Bangkok pulling hot young girls and thought Taiwan might have an equivalent. Winston had mentioned seeing an older dumpy looking local guy holding hands with a very hot Taiwan girl in a Chiayi restaurant and was wondering how he pulled it off.

2. I think its fine to offer advice to someone about things they can change - clothes and accessories, weight, hairstyle, etc. Those things can definitely make a material difference in attracting women so why not bring it up if you believe its part of the problem. Remember, Winston was asking why he always gets ignored in Taiwan and was doubting other people who said Taiwan could be a great place for men to find an abundant dating life. If he asks for advice, he shouldn't be surprised when it comes.

3. I totally agree that its destructive to criticize a guy about things he can't change - his basic facial look (big nose, small eyes, etc) his height, etc. or just to say he's too unattractive without telling him what could be changed to improve upon or solve the issue.

4. As far as I'm concerned, my whole approach in this thread has been based on facts (my own experience and that of many others), logical reasoning, and lack of personal attacks. If you see a hole or inconsistency in the arguments I've put-out on any of these pages, please address it directly. Don't just make some vague reference to lack of logic, facts, etc.

Please consider the full context of this thread.

steve55 wrote:
One thing for sure, I havent seen where Winston attacks or insults anyone in his postings (other than responding to an attack on himself).

Its perfectly ok to have a different opinion about something, or to offer constructive criticism. But its clear when it crosses the line into insults which is what happened here. And there is often a bit of a pile on effect when a flame war starts in forums, especially by those personality types that get gratification out of attacking people. Ive never been fond of people who have to be nasty to others like that.

When people disagree with Winston on things like CT or any issue he is arguing, he sometimes escalates it to:
'why can't you see that',
'I thought you were smarter than that',
'You are narrow, lack creativity, don't see the big picture, etc.'
'You don't read people well'

Some would view those types of responses as condescending or even insulting, just like put-downs on looks, personality, etc.

And in this thread, he even called someone who exposed his own photo as a 'gangster convict'.

steve55 wrote:Retracing the thread makes that much clear. To say someone looks like a taxi driver or uncle (who is attracted to their uncle, thats incestous and gross) is not honest constructive criticism even if you think it is. Its an insult.

Its seems to me you have not read all of this thread or just quickly skimmed a lot of it. I've tried very hard to be constructive. I've put Taiwan out there as a Happier Abroad alternative for many dateless guys in western countries. Winston pored a lot of cold water on that.

I even visited him in person to show him a side of Taiwan he apparently was not familiar with. Now he's got prospects and is starting to date for the first time since he's been back - what he wanted. How is that not constructive???

BTW, if you've been following so closely, why have you waited until now to contribute? The more interesting parts of this thread are buried in the earlier pages. And how do you know Winston? Kinda surprised you only have 5 posts.