Womanless and accepting in small town usa...

[Montanaland]

I wanted to chime in about my first year on staff at a vocational high school and what I observed. The H.S. consists of about 40 teachers and one small break room. I consider myself very gregarious and perceptive so getting to know the staff through the course of the year was pretty interesting. We have some feminist men hating women and some that are so "goofy" I don't know how they were able to obtain their positions. (ex. librarian, early childhood-all freaks)

Anyhow, the trend that I observed was that 90% of the guys that were married were not accepting of even thinking of hanging out with other guys after work. The young guys (under 40yrs old) were consistently under lock and key from their insecure wives. It's sad but you could tell they are given direct orders and a schedule on a daily basis.

The older teachers that I was closer to.. due to the fact that we lift at the same gym after work..are more relaxed and have way more flexability to schedule after work beers..etc. The one math teacher that is this group that would organize friday lunch gatherings off campus actually invited me to an end-of-school yr. bbq (last night)... To my surprise I show up to his huge house with my girlfriend to a gathering of administrators/principles and teachers all of whom are in their late 40's and early 50's. They are all well off and I felt a little out of place as I'm not even a teacher and only in my early 30's. We even recieved a cold shoulder from one of the other married couples at the begining of the gathering. The 2 auto teachers I work with arrived with one of them being a young 28yrs old. His cell phone was blowing up the whole 2hrs he was there from his insecure young wife at home forcing him to leave early. He also felt out of place due to his age and job/$$status compared to the mature group. The party went very smoothly until the the same pompus married male teacher w/wife in tow didn't even face me to say goodbye as they were getting into thier car out on the street.

My bet and observation is that since this one guy lost his wife a fews years ago he is somewhat lonely and throughout the year was persistent about getting a group together and was very receptive towards new social situations and interactions. As guys that are married are not usually the ones thowing out invites to some young guy they just met this yr...or even hardly wanting to exchange friendly conversations with new people. Every married man has to check in with the mama wife before making a decision.. The young guys are totally under a spell while it never really goes away- just fades... while a single men are mostly accepting and honest with thier feelings.

Gosh these american women are nuts!!!

[adam917]

I have witnessed similar behaviour but not only among people of a certain financial or age bracket but among most people I met in my life in Philly. The main constant is that coupled folk hardly ever want anything to do with single people (especially single young men) while my single friends are delighted to see me for instance.

I summed it up as: 'this is a couples society & singles are not welcome'.