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I just love reading men here post about how "crazy" or "deranged" or "psycho" American / Western womem are without considering how they might have had a role in creating women like that.
There are many reasons why Western women are the way they are. BUt I believe that really drives Western women luney is sex before marriage. For all women, sex is such an emotional experience. Sex and emotion are two sides of the same coin. Many men also want an emotional connection with someone they have sex with, but I believe that we Western guys have no idea how sex and love are linked in a woman's brain. So when a lady has sex outside of the confines of marriage, what ends up happening is that the woman engages in an intense emotional experiences outside of the hedge of marriage that is meant to protect her heart. Almost all non-marital relationships end; thus most Western women have gone from having an intense emotional experience to having all that robbed of her.
The devastation of the heart that follows the break up of a sexual relationhip can pernamently alter the brain and behaviour. In fact, I was watching on CNN a piece in which a researcher demonstrated that breaking up has the same effect on the brain as withdrawl from a cocaine addiction.
Now in countries where chasity and virginity are valued, such as the PHilippines, the women are not like that. Their heart is free to love intensely and unconditionally. But when you break a Filipina's heart, she will be no different. In fact, she will probably be worse.
So this message is particularly directed towards you guys who have chosen to leave American women and are going abroad, particularly to the Philippines for romance and sex: Only choose one girl, court her, don't sleep with her until you have married her, and don't break her heart. That is unless you want the Philippines to become like your country, and the women to all become like what you ran away from.
That's why there used to be only two kinds of women: whores and virgins. Now people believe that no woman is truly a whore, even a former whore can now be "born again," and forgiven.
The system is broken. It is not men's fault. Nor do I accept blame. This belongs to the social engineers who decided they wanted to weaken society.
American women is but one symptom of western society's corruption.
Having sex before marriage is not the only variable that effects dating. Other important ones to consider are the ratio of single women (especially young single women) to single men and the state of the economy and the standard of living in a country. Women are less picky when the economy isn't so good and they have trouble finding work. Another variable to consider is the amount of feminism promoted in a society's media.
The fact that many Russian and Eastern European women have sex before marriage but yet are kind to men disproves your argument. And men also feel pain when they are dumped. It's not like women are the only ones suffering.
Anyway, most of us aren't looking to marry Mormons.
And you're just hypothesizing, Raindreamer. You've never dated a Filipino girl, have you?
You just gotta love a poster who wanders in to a forum like this and basically says that it's all the fault of men and that the women are blameless.
Get the f**k out of here with that shit, buddy.
We have had this discussion thousands of times over the past 10 years and all of us have seen your lame excuses before.
I've dated several virgins in the past and I can safely say they were f***ed in the head long before I met them. However, I do believe having multiple sexual partners before marriage is a contributing factor for divorce. In countries where women and men have sex before marriage the divorce rate is high.
The effect that the breakup has depends on the psychological makeup of the person in question. If they're extremely attached and the other person dumps them in a callous manner, it can indeed causing psychological scarring.
Many people don't heal quickly from it, but then again, most people don't do much real conscious thinking or self inquiry.
I know a woman who is a former prostitute and has had over a thousand sex partners. She fell in love with a british man and they have a VERY strong connection. She is an exception to the rule in many respects, but it is interesting to note.
No, sorry. This is a load of rubbish.
So all virgins are lovely girls and all those who have had premarital sex are bunny boilers?
I second the comment on Russia and FSU countries, where girls don't see a problem with premarital sex but are still held up as examples of great countries for American men to date in.
Women might link up love and sex but if a relationship fizzles out it doesn't mean they are mentally scarred for life. You can't blame societies problems on premarital sex becoming more common.
Personally I think it's all media. Might seem a strong assumption to make but look at the differences between, say, an American girl who worships reality TV and celebrity magazines and wants to be famous to a country lass from Latvia who concentrates more on 'real life'. In first-world countries real human contact is becoming replaced with programmes about characters and gossip about singers etc., so it makes sense that the media is getting more power over how people should act and think. And lets face it, someone who makes herself into an 'independent career woman' in order to buy all the must-have gadgets and clothes is far more valuable, even more so if she ends up buying therapy and taking pills for mental illness and paying for IVF when she hits her 40s. And lonely, materialistic people are far easier to control. Sorry for sounding like Winston
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Good points Bella.
And if you listen to what this lady who spent 10 years in France say about the women's attitudes there toward men, you'll realize that the problem is in US culture, not in what bad things the men did in the past.
Ask yourself raindreamer, how come French women aren't hateful toward men?
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It's all relative. America is the absolute worst, so anyplace looks good in comparison. But compare French women to a country like the Philippines where virginity is valued, and you will find French women less friendly in comparison. You generally have these categories:
1. feminazi - sexual outlets like prostitution banned, men desperate for sex, women are ugly bitches
2. mild feminism - sexual outlets exist, women are non-hostile sluts but not particularly friendly
3. anarchistic (like Mexico and Russia?) - social anarchy, premarital sex widely tolerated, poor so women value providers, some women opportunistically friendly
4. patriarchy (Thailand, Philippines?, Orthodox Jews) - virginity valued, women are reserved but generally friendly
So raindreamer is basically right.
A break up has the same effect on the mind as a serious car accident has on the body. Healing is possible, but you are never the same again. Just imagine if that happened to you time and time again. If a person were to have 6 car accidents, wouldn't their body be badly broken?
So just imagine a girl giving herself over to 6 different guys, only to be ultimately rejected by all of them. No wonder they go mad.
So if you are sleeping or even dating a woman with no intent of marrying her, shame on you.
Your little scenario assumes that it is all these bad men just going around and breaking the prety little hearts of
all these wonderful sincere women who want nothing more than to be the faithful wife of a good man.
Such vastly one sided assumptions are really idiotic. You sound like a real simpleton.
Maybe it really went something like this...
She was married to a great guy named Fred. Fred is a good guy, except he cannot read her mind, cannot MAKE her happy, and knows nothing of fluffing her pillow to facilitate her self esteem. Of course, having been raised on a steady diet of self adulation and assorted Psychobabble crap, she can blame Fred for any unhappiness she might experience.
This of course, justifies her screwing her ex-boyfriend when Fred is out of town, as well as several guys at the gym she uses- it's a "friends with benefits" arrangement that makes her FEEL that it is ok.
But of course, its ALL Fred's fault! He somehow FORCED her to do all these things, so she is a VICTIM !!!!!!!!!!!!
Having earned her VICTIMHOOD status, it is only one small step to taking that empowerment class at the local community college where she will make the ULTIMATE discovery! Actually, she is a GODDESS! That is why she deserves so much more than what Fred can give her.
Of course, there will be an endless stream of women who sympathize with her and will urge her to divorce that bastard Fred, who of course must be the one at fault for forcing her to do all those naughty things!
Additionally, there are of course all those confused he-bitches that will always side with the so abused woman...
makes them feel good about themselves on the cheap! What worthless dolts those guys are!
I think I will just sit in the Philippines and be thankful that it is unlikely those idiots will ever make it over...
I get his point, even though the heading uses the term "blame" in a misplaced manner. What I think he is saying is that average men contribute to the lunacy of women by simply engaging in premarital sex that does not result in marriage.
I personally would place the onus on women to keep their legs closed, but men are slightly complicit in this too, just much less so.
This is a good topic but "blame" is a loaded word that puts people on the defensive.
i agree with all you of you. this is a nothing post. what i dont get is why you guys gave this guy a chance and just didnt just right out bash him it was just stupid. you cant blame the individual for societys problem you cant and for you to say that is just plain stupid.
also i disagree, women can have casual sex and not hurt anyone. im not saying casual sex is good or bad. but in a society where its widely accept, why not? if men want it and women want it why does somebody have to get hurt? unless you are immature about it. its just sex people, stop playing games like using sex as a weapon. "ooh if i sleep with him i might keep him or he might get me things" umm... sorry no. Its sex, dont expect anything but sex. be upfront about what you want and go about it. Dont lie or deceive or manipulate the situation into something that is not and that is where the problem starts. im not saying its all women, guys shouldnt lie to women either. make them false promises and tell them tons of lies and then hit the road. If it was completley mutual we wouldnt have all this crap going along. if we were just honest, open, and fair things would work a lot better for all of us.
It kills me that just about every time she's about to say something interesting, or explain her point, the guy cuts her off and moves on to another topic or idea.
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