Happier Abroad Forum Community

For those who, for one reason or another, can't go dating abroad, which parts of the United States are considered the most optimal? I guess, the more foreign-born population lives in an area, the more open-minded their American neighbors are. And, consequently, the more relaxed the social/dating atmosphere is. From what I understand, any city with "personality", such as New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, or Miami, can be a good deal (since most other American cities have much less of their own face, e.g. landmarks etc.). Generally, it seems that costal areas have traditionally more immigrant population and, therefore, are more open. Especially the Northeast being more European-like, with its historic background, high population density, and a relatively larger variety of transportation options, seems to attract more immigrants and intelligent Americans. Any other ideas?

Puerto Rico?

Don't come to Wyoming or Montana thinking its open minded and friendly. The US is one of the least friendliest nations. I can even tell a big difference between Canadien people as they are generally more positive and friendly all around.

On this side of the world S. Amercia is genuine, friendly and all around happy.

I was in a similar situation as I was stateless for 5 years and could not travel to many countries. I found that immigrants for the most part stick to their own as they have a pool of ladies to pick from. It is possible for find them but do keep in mind that the immigrant population has strange demographics in the US. More men than women, everybody is working hard and has not much time for dating. Most are in the US for money. They quickly figure out how unfriendly everyone is and become like that too. Some FOBs are OK and you may get lucky. LA is not so bad especially if you are young, good looking and want to meet some Spanish speakers.

Puerto Rico is not bad, as it has more women than men but do learn Spanish and go there with money. A job and a car will guarantee a GF. Even if you look like the Elephant Man. Otoh, if you have no car, no job, no girl will want you.

San Diego is the best place, because you are next to Mexico, and could learn Spanish and date
Mexican women. There are also many Americans who live in Mexico and commute to work
every day to their job in San Diego. So, you get the best of both worlds - America -job, and Mexico -social life.

Regarding Wyoming and Montana, you would think based simply on sharing the same politics I should fit right in, but unless you don a cowboy hat and go to church every Sunday you'll never be accepted. Worse yet they find out I'm from New York and that's pretty much it for me. Persona non grata for as long as I stay in town.

Urban centers only appear to be more friendlier because they're more tourist oriented due to a constant influx of people visiting from out of town. Rural areas get a bad rap for being monolithic and xenophobic, but that's largely because you have Mr. Whitey and... that's it. Hardly any other ethnic group to associate with.

But the cities are EXACTLY the same way, the only reason they escape this taboo is because you have many different ethnic communities all in one locale, yet these subcommunities are just as monolithic and segregated. There's nothing really wrong with it, we all tend to gravitate towards people of a shared heritage. The only time we get beyond this wall is oddly enough, in church or within political groups.

There are areas that are ideal for meeting and making new friends, where the population is generally easy-going, laid back, and happy, and the town is tourist friendly. I found Lake Placid to be like this, as well as a few other spots as I traveled around. These are the kind of towns where you could be the only minority around for miles and miles, yet you'll still be treated just as well as anyone else.

I'm hoping Denver fits this description too, since I'll be visiting the city next year.

Stay away from Rhode Island. In my experience, the people there are either very snobby and cliquish or very ghetto with few in between.

I always liked Boston, but I imagine that it would be quite hard to date a hot chick there if you're older than college age and not rich. Perhaps if you met some of the Spanish or Portuguese-speaking immigrants there, it might be possible.

I've met some very friendly people in the more remote parts of New Hampshire, but I've never dated any women there.

I think people from Maine are f***ing weird, but I suppose if you're the same type of weird or you like hunting, fishing, skiing, and camping, then it might work.

I went to Montreal in Canada once and I thought it was a pretty damn cool city.

Jackal wrote:Stay away from Rhode Island. In my experience, the people there are either very snobby and cliquish or very ghetto with few in between.

I always liked Boston, but I imagine that it would be quite hard to date a hot chick there if you're older than college age and not rich. Perhaps if you met some of the Spanish or Portuguese-speaking immigrants there, it might be possible.

I've met some very friendly people in the more remote parts of New Hampshire, but I've never dated any women there.

I think people from Maine are f***ing weird, but I suppose if you're the same type of weird or you like hunting, fishing, skiing, and camping, then it might work.

I went to Montreal in Canada once and I thought it was a pretty damn cool city.

New England states are notorious for being unfriendly, and that's been my experience as well. Boston however was awesome, I liked my visit there so much I almost came back a Red Sox fan, which is comical considering I root for the Yankees and wore a Yankees 2009 Champions hat around Fenway.

Montanaland wrote:Don't come to Wyoming or Montana thinking its open minded and friendly. The US is one of the least friendliest nations. I can even tell a big difference between Canadien people as they are generally more positive and friendly all around.

You mean, people living in Detroit are so dramatically different from people living across the river in Windsor?

Ladislav wrote:I found that immigrants for the most part stick to their own as they have a pool of ladies to pick from. It is possible for find them but do keep in mind that the immigrant population has strange demographics in the US. More men than women, everybody is working hard and has not much time for dating. Most are in the US for money.

Good observation. I'm still sticking to people with our background, even now that I'm a citizen and free to travel the world. But I'm not sure that most of immigrants are here for money. It depends when they came. Those who came in the 90's (as my family did) had deeper reasons for the move. But I wouldn't be surprised if most newcomers these days do so primarily for monetary reasons.

Linc4Love wrote:There's nothing really wrong with it, we all tend to gravitate towards people of a shared heritage. The only time we get beyond this wall is oddly enough, in church or within political groups.

That's what I mean when saying that one has to have strong personal reasons to look beyond his own crowd for dating. For immigrants it possibly means assimilating in mainstream American society. And for in-born Americans it means dating the foreigners. If someone likes foreigners better than people of their own, I don't see anything wrong with it. But it's much harder to do such a move if the only reason is the lack of luck where you really want it. I'm just not willing to buy on any "well-meaning" advise to do so.

By the way, someone told me that women in smaller American cities (including immigrant women who came long ago) have better mentality (or, perhaps, lower standards) than women in NYC. would you confirm that or not?

You mean, people living in Detroit are so dramatically different from people living across the river in Windsor?

Here are some differences between Canadians living in Windsor and Americans living in Detroit: In Windsor they don't have to worry about being destroyed financially by a medical procedure or serious illness. They are far less likely to be the victims of violence, or to be incarcerated themselves. They are far less likely to be living below the poverty line. They receive a better education. They don't have to make apologies for their government garrisoning the entire world with 1,000 military installations, and periodically waging war in various corners of the globe. They don't have to deal with the cognitive dissonance resulting from having to accept an official mythology holding that their country is God's gift to the world.

I could go on. The point is that a bankrupt public life and public discourse, one that people intuitively cast aside and retreat into their own private worlds, has something to do with the kind of people such a society produces. Right now, the U.S. has one of the most disagreeable human climates in the world. It was not always that way. That's the starting premise for discussion on this board, and from there it proceeds to what I think is a fairly sophisticated analysis of some of the reasons, which aren't at all self-evident. If you're going to question the fundamental premise, you probably should search the archives and respond to a lot of the specific points made by Winston and others.

As to your original question on this thread: The coast of California has the best weather and some of the prettiest country. The best people are still in the Midwest, IMO. The best intellectual climate (such as it is) and best public transportation are where you are now -- NYC, and on up to Boston. Personally, I'd take the Midwest, though the winters are a bit disagreeable, and the population is getting dumbed down apace with the rest of the country.

Linc4Love wrote:Regarding Wyoming and Montana, you would think based simply on sharing the same politics I should fit right in, but unless you don a cowboy hat and go to church every Sunday you'll never be accepted. Worse yet they find out I'm from New York and that's pretty much it for me. Persona non grata for as long as I stay in town.

Urban centers only appear to be more friendlier because they're more tourist oriented due to a constant influx of people visiting from out of town. Rural areas get a bad rap for being monolithic and xenophobic, but that's largely because you have Mr. Whitey and... that's it. Hardly any other ethnic group to associate with.

But the cities are EXACTLY the same way, the only reason they escape this taboo is because you have many different ethnic communities all in one locale, yet these subcommunities are just as monolithic and segregated. There's nothing really wrong with it, we all tend to gravitate towards people of a shared heritage. The only time we get beyond this wall is oddly enough, in church or within political groups.

There are areas that are ideal for meeting and making new friends, where the population is generally easy-going, laid back, and happy, and the town is tourist friendly. I found Lake Placid to be like this, as well as a few other spots as I traveled around. These are the kind of towns where you could be the only minority around for miles and miles, yet you'll still be treated just as well as anyone else.

I'm hoping Denver fits this description too, since I'll be visiting the city next year.

I live outside of Denver, and it's a weird town. If you're into sports, it's your paradise. If you're into the outdoors, like I am, you're in heaven. If you don't either of those things or don't like long winters, it'll be hell on earth.

Downtown Denver is interesting in its own right, but can be seen in a day or two. It's a pretty liberal city with lots of marijuana dispensaries around. We've even got the Crips and the Bloods! (ref. South Park episode). There is a large Hispanic population and some dangerous areas, such as 5 Corners. The type of people here are very eclectic. You've got the hip-hop types mixing with the yuppies, the cowboys, the MS13, the homeless, and others who are just trying to find their own style. Personally, I prefer Colorado Springs, which is much smaller, quieter, and closer to the nature. CoSprings also has a weird mix of heavy duty bikers and hippies (go figure). I love Colorado as a whole, and would gladly spend many more years here, but there's no work that will allow me to support my family, so I have to leave for overseas.

The Texas border with Mexico is more Mexican than American. I live in El Paso now. It's too bad one can't cross into Juarez these days since it's a war zone, but El Paso is quite tolerable. I can't tolerate American culture, but El Paso is okay.

Linc4Love wrote: New England states are notorious for being unfriendly, and that's been my experience as well. Boston however was awesome, I liked my visit there so much I almost came back a Red Sox fan, which is comical considering I root for the Yankees and wore a Yankees 2009 Champions hat around Fenway.

And you got out of there alive? Lol. Try watching a Bruins game next time.

I wouldn't say that New Englanders are not polite. People in stores and shops will be nice enough, but making real friends there is hard. And people with southern accents should stay away from there because southern accents are considered very lower-class in the northeast, unless perhaps you're some oil baron or the president of Duke University, but even then some people will still laugh at you. On the other hand, if you have a British, Irish, or Scottish accent, many people in New England will be practically humping your leg.

Has anyone ever been to Albany, New York? I was thinking of going to grad school there a long time ago, so I'm curious whether that town is an unfriendly ghetto, or whether it's just normal. Of couse, now I have no intention of leaving Europe (except perhaps to move to Asia).

Jackal wrote:

Linc4Love wrote: New England states are notorious for being unfriendly, and that's been my experience as well. Boston however was awesome, I liked my visit there so much I almost came back a Red Sox fan, which is comical considering I root for the Yankees and wore a Yankees 2009 Champions hat around Fenway.

And you got out of there alive? Lol. Try watching a Bruins game next time.

I wouldn't say that New Englanders are not polite. People in stores and shops will be nice enough, but making real friends there is hard. And people with southern accents should stay away from there because southern accents are considered very lower-class in the northeast, unless perhaps you're some oil baron or the president of Duke University, but even then some people will still laugh at you. On the other hand, if you have a British, Irish, or Scottish accent, many people in New England will be practically humping your leg.

Has anyone ever been to Albany, New York? I was thinking of going to grad school there a long time ago, so I'm curious whether that town is an unfriendly ghetto, or whether it's just normal. Of course, now I have no intention of leaving Europe (except perhaps to move to Asia).

Not only that, but I ran into the Wally the Green Monster mascot too, who was just walking down the street like any old dude. A girl saw him and literally ran across the street to hug him. He saw me, pointed to his hat, then pointed to the girl, making it clear if I wanted some action like he just got I was going to have to wear the right hat. One of the funniest encounters I've ever had.

My impression of New England hospitality was the result of a few trips here and there, and recently when I went to Stockbridge during the Christmas season. With the exception of one GORGEOUS (but married) sweet girl who ran a chocolate shop I stopped in, people's moods were pretty sour for the most part, and it was fricking Christmas for crying out loud. I have a friend in New Hampshire whose relatives went to Stockbridge also and they noticed it as well. She explained why that was but I forgot it, something to do with retired folks and second homes I think.


Regarding Albany, no no no no no no NO NONONONONO, just NO. Much of it is very run down and is pretty much ghetto city. Even worse, some of the school buildings are retardedly ugly, just basic slabs of concrete that uglify an already ugly city (I'm speaking of the SUNY schools though, it's possible the other schools might look better). Albany was one of the worst looking cities I've ever seen, and nearby Troy was even worse. You have maybe one or two streets where things look clean and nice enough, surrounded by tons of rundown areas. They even refer to the college campuses as student ghettos.

That said, it's been a while since I took a hard look at the city, and since then they seem to be in the process of doing major renovations due to some of the hi-tech name brands that have moved there, so it's possible things may have gotten better since then.

Montanaland wrote:Puerto Rico?

Puerto Rico is the nastiest, most feminist-infected place in the world. It is worse than the US mainland even. The women marry with the specific intention of cashing out via divorce.

Women rule that island and are known to invoke the false claim of abuse tactic to destroy men in PR.

Homosexuality is rife among PR young males now, and even among young girls. Man-hating is a national sport and you visit PR at your own risk.

It is not even that great in so far as tourism and nightlife. Forget what you heard, Puerto Rico is worse than the US mainland.

A friend of mine who used to live in NYC in Manhattan told me that he could sometimes get chicks from other parts of the country to fly over to spend the weekend with him, simply cause he had a place in NYC, which gives you some status with women in other states.

Skeptic,
Try putting up a profile on Match.com and see if that works, if women in other states get interested in you cause you're in NYC.

There are many women in NYC but they tend to have very high standards.

It's not as easy as Seinfeld made it look.