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Why are Americans so "cliquish"

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Postby jamesbond » February 17th, 2011, 2:49 am

Anglo countries are the most "cliquish" countries in the world. In these countries you need to make your friends early in life (when you are in school) and then hold onto those friends for the rest of your life.

So in anglo countries, not only is it diffcult to meet women, it's also difficult to make friends with people. :shock:
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
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Postby S_Parc » February 17th, 2011, 7:58 pm

jamesbond wrote:Anglo countries are the most "cliquish" countries in the world. In these countries you need to make your friends early in life (when you are in school) and then hold onto those friends for the rest of your life.


I think the other problem is that it's also very special interests oriented. For instance, if you let's say move to Boston but you're not a Celtics basketball fan and thus, have little affiliation towards names like Russell, Havlicek, Cowens, Bird, Pierce, etc, then right there, you're limited in breaking into social circles, which love their home sports team. I find it to be the biggest problem in America because really, if you didn't grow up in a particular region, then that place is always a type of business rest stop than a plausible home. Hence, despite all my business travels, I'm always back in New England when everything is said and done.

So what needs to happen is that one needs very strong hobbies where you get to meet let's say guitar techs, sporting units, etc, around the US. That's a good way of making social contacts, but while you're at it, don't get too serious with an American woman. The two activities need to be in separate categories. Think of the US, as business center/hobbist center but the rest of the globe as a place for normal male-female relationships.
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Postby well-informed » February 18th, 2011, 6:18 am

@ S_Parc

But you don't know how hard that is, because you're attraction to females doesn't go away even if she's american or not.
I will say that having children or marrying american women is not wise since you're more than likely going to lose at the end.
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Postby S_Parc » February 18th, 2011, 3:36 pm

well-informed wrote:@ S_Parc

But you don't know how hard that is, because you're attraction to females doesn't go away even if she's american or not.


I understand it's hard but it is doable. I think part of my awakening was realizing that my sister wasn't some great "Susan B Anthony" thing, during my early 20s. Then, little by little, I saw similarities between her and other American *Yankee* women. Well, then there was that transition period when I was pretty much only dating international women and started to hang out with American gals, only to gather the local gossip. That's when the attraction factor died out ... they felt either like my sister's clone or an emotionally challenged guy (but w/ breasts). As you can gather, it's hard to stay *attracted* to the aforementioned, getting negative vibs half the time.


well-informed wrote:I will say that having children or marrying american women is not wise since you're more than likely going to lose at the end.


Well, in the above case, if you're both not a member of a insular dating pool (i.e. both Armenians, Orthodox Jews, 1st gen Cambodians, etc), the chances of lifelong misery are well above 60%. There's little point in aiming to make some high water mark there; it's better to focus on one's career.
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Re: Why are Americans so "cliquish"

Postby MattHanson1990 » January 30th, 2015, 2:58 am

There are some pockets in America that aren't as cliquish, and if I stayed i would rather be in such pockets. America overall isn't a fun place to be; it basically is a large high school except in the pockets I mentioned. Even in churches people will be polite but they won't want to actually get to know you. Additionally, a lot of colleges are becoming more and more cliquish, even in the dorms. I currently live in Los Alamos, New Mexico and boy is it one of the hardest places in America to meet people. It's almost as bad as Seattle and Bellingham, Washington.

America wasn't always like this. In the 50s, 60s, and 70s for instance, Americans were more open to meeting new people and actually knew their neigbors. Social isolation in America took off in the 80s and has gone into full swing in the 90s and 2000s.
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Re: Why are Americans so "cliquish"

Postby DDuana » February 1st, 2015, 8:21 pm

I think this has to do with the "high school-ization" of America. American culture has become so teenage-driven, it's weird.
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Re: Why are Americans so "cliquish"

Postby MattHanson1990 » February 1st, 2015, 8:42 pm

DDuana wrote:I think this has to do with the "high school-ization" of America. American culture has become so teenage-driven, it's weird.


Even people in their 30s and 40s still act like teenagers, especially the women. Welcome to "The United States of High School".
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