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QUESTION guys; what if I dated a guy who made me entirely happy but he makes an average income or less than I do; would he feel emasculated by me? Do you think he'll be ok?
- It's easy to give, when you know what it's like to have nothing. -
- Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. -
Women want the guys that all the females want.
Since women have careers, they have become even more materialistic.
Back in the 80s and 90s, a guy making $25000 had no problem getting women.
Now, a guy making $25000 won't be able to get a women to look at him.
True, it's not always about wealth.
Many women get with bad boys and guys who have big social circles who are not even wealthy.
In the US, in 90% of marriages, the man makes more money than the woman. In only 10% of marriages, does the woman make more money than the man!
Women do "marry up" it is hard wired into their biology.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
I admire your courage in being on this site and in asking this question, so I will tell you the truth as I believe it and hope it does not offend.
It probably won't work, because probably he's too immature, and not yet successful for that very reason. And if you are more mature than him, then it is indeed a big mistake to be with him at all. He should be the leader. If he is not the boss and the leader, drop him, and find someone who is.
In my experience it will work IF he is the leader, IF you trust him, IF he is the boss, IF you put him first in your life, IF you put him ahead of your career, IF you enjoy treating him like a king, IF you genuinely believe that you are lucky to be his slave. Yeah, I said slave, that's what a man needs, and that's what a woman needs to be for things to work.
It is nothing weird that his wages are lower. In our society today, it is MUCH easier for women to fit into a do repetitive tasks, follow orders, fit into a PC corporate environment, and work in an office. It is normal for men's wages to be lower than women's in this situation, unless the man has a specialized blue-collar skill or is self-employed.
So I don't put the guy down.
Still, I have to say, usually if you think something MIGHT be a problem, down the road it becomes a HUGE problem. So the BEST thing I would tell a sister or female relative is to expect a man she can look up to in EVERY way. As a protector, a provider, a master. if that means she has to take a man who is older, or will not be exclusively hers, that's worth getting the right man. I recognize many women don't want to hear this, and I am not trying to proselytize for polygamy (hard to do in this society), just saying what I have already told people I care about. An older man is a piece of cake, and broadens your options.
Another way to broaden your options is to compromise on looks. Plenty of attractive women find a guy who is a good provider, and who feels she is "out of his league". That guy will WORSHIP her, and she will feel cared for.
My pretty, ambitous and very smart 18 year old assistant agrees with me on this - she tells her gf's, that in order to be happy, don't choose a guy who IS hot, choose a guy who will thinks SHE is hot.
Depends on the person.
Also, just because the person make less than you today, doesn't mean that he'd continue to make less than you in the future.
Why aren't the women getting with the guys making $250000 or $30000?
My problem is that a woman who makes $20000 ignores these guys completely and goes for the $50000 or higher guys instead.
thanks for your perspective. The thing is he'll tease me about it & joke around a lot about it, then we'll laugh it off ... but my gut feeling is that this behavior is a bit off. ... I'm not rich, just financially stable. Jester if u do love someone you will take care of their needs & not see it as a chore' obviously so I do agree with you there ... therefore I'll never call it slavery; it's care'
momopi that's true .... I asked this question due to his behaviour at times ... he's a bit hard to read because he has loads of good qualities too.... but you know sometimes u have a stain on a white shirt & it's distracting', but it's your favorite shirt lol ... it's kind of like that
I believe it's about how you treat the guy. If you treat your man poorly because he makes less, it's possible that eventually he will start to resent you because he feels emasculated.
Yea, the economy is a total scam (IMHO) and it causes a direct negative impact between genders. For example, along the lines of what you said, back in the 1950's, a new house was about 2x the income that you made, so, for example, a 13k home (that was built properly!) was easily affordable on a 6k salary.
But today!? The median income is something around 30k, but the price of a home is 300k, so that's at least 10x a persons salary; and this is in addition to student loans.
Bottom line? Young men today are at an extreme financial disadvantage, not necessarily through the fault of our own, but through the fault of the banking system and the housing market that makes it almost impossible for a young man to easily gain status early and quickly.
Put it this way, by at least 25, a man should be able to buy a home (if he wants) and be able to take care of himself.
But the banksters don't want this. What they want is debt slavery for everyone, so that nothing is ever paid off, and the rent that the rentier class seeks keeps rolling in, ad infinitum.
My parents were lucky. Their first home cost them $19,000 (in 1968 dollars). Sure, they had to rent for a few years to save up a down payment (back then a minimum downpayment of 25% was expected). But the housing market jumped by leaps and bounds such that they were able to sell the house in 1977 for $62,000.00 and make a very tidy profit. Even if the housing market hadn't gone up, they still would have had the house paid off by then because both of them worked.
Those days of ever-increasing house prices (even in Canada, where the housing market isn't doing too badly compared to the US) are long gone. Real estate used to be the way that average people could build wealth. It's not possible anymore for young people to get a real foothold in life, thanks to greedy scumfuck banksters. I'm pushing 50, and I feel sorry for young people today. Most of them will not be able to afford their own homes until they're age 35, and if they're lucky and house prices haven't fallen through the floor, they might have their homes paid off by age 60 or 65.
I have a modest condo that I bought after I left my wife 5 years ago. It'll never be paid off because condo prices in my area are stagnant and expected to stay that way for the next five to ten years at least. At times
I want to just throw the keys on the bank manager's desk and bugger off to Thailand or the PI, never to be seen again. If only I had a reliable source of income I could draw on without having to work, that could be possible.
The only saving grace is that a decent, but not great, middle-class income is about $50K in Canada, and prices for modest homes about $150 ~ 200K depending on where you are in my country (as long as you're not in Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary or Regina.) The bad news is that high personal, sales, and municipal taxes, plus a generally high cost of living make it impossible for most to sock enough money away in savings or in extra mortgage payments.
Men rarely care about the money women make because we know that it is not likely they will keep making it. MOST women who have good incomes quit work after they have kids so the income is not relevant.
I have a friend who told me many times "I chose my wife well because she has a PHD and earns much more than me"....he was surprised when she chose to stop working once the baby arrived. I was not at all surprised. About 60 % of women with babies drop out of the work force in the 10 years after the kids are born. My wife was one. His wife is another. It is very common.
The simple truth Renata is that men are VERY unwise to trust anything a woman says because women do not consider it lying when they "change their mind".
When my wife quit working and I asked her about paying the mortgage and noted that she had signed the mortgage papers her response was "just because I signed the mortgage papers does not mean I am going to pay it, I never SAID I was going to pay my share of the mortgage."
Later on when she promised to pay her own way she later claimed "I never wrote down that I would pay my own way".
This is what we have to deal with with our women Renata. Even their signature on a contract or their promise does not mean anything according to women. And then they wonder why we do not trust them! LOL!!
PS. I put mz then gf through college and did many of her assignments and was instrumental in getting her a good job at IBM. She was a team leader and on $A40K in 1994 when she quit. I was on salary of A$60K plus car and other benefits. Obviously I could not cover the lost $A40K income and had to leave IBM and start my own business where I made $A150K...which she STILL managed to burn through.
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from my understanding. i would not care about how much i make. just as long as she accepts me for who i am and NOT my income level. i dont know why your boyfriend ( sounds like you have one ) would feel emasculated. maybe it is his culture that pushes him to make more then you do i do not know.
by they way renata....you have a fantastic hour glass shape. my kind of style.
and your very sweet and friendly too. wich is a plus for most men. your pretty good quality woman.
You guys are getting closer to the truth.
However western women would date a hot stud with average income over an ugly/average looking millionaire anyday. Best case scenario is the millionaire gets used by the woman for his money while she f***s her good looking lover behind his back.
Women in the west donÂ´t need men for money anymore. They can make their own money.
In the past if you were average looking and had a decent job you could atleast have hope to get an attractive wife.
Nowadays women in their prime (16-25) choose men only based on looks. They withhold sex from normal guys and only f**k male model looking guys and then once they hit 30 or so they want to marry an obedient beta male with money that was denied sex by those same women all throughout his teens and twenties.
In third world countries women are dirt poor and live a shit life. Of course they will care more about money than looks. ThatÂ´s the only reason why women abroad appear to be friendlier to an average westerner that is rich in their eyes.
However the most desirable women will still have their pick between millionaires and handsome guys. Even in third world countries.
Not true. They are handed BILLIONS in welfare and mostly have guvment non-jobs to "administer" and "regulate" the work mostly men are doing.
If you look at the jobs women actually do you will see most of them could be eliminated or replaced by a man.
I often say that if all women stopped work in an english speaking country there would be some minor disruption to retail sales and banking services because 90% of front line staff in shops and banks are women. So much for equality by industry. But nothing bad would happen if ALL WOMEN STOPPED WORKING in an eglish speaking country.
If ALL MEN stopped working in an english speaking country? Inside 24 hours it would be MAYHEM. No electricity. No running water/sewerage. No telephones. No lighting. No refueling of petrol stations. No replenishment of super markets. Inside 5 days there would be total social breakdown as people started killing each other for food and water.
Women do not make their own money. They take it off men in welfare and non jobs mandated by the guvment in the VAST majority.
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