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***I wrote this on my MySpace blog months ago. Ladislav and I have been talking for 3 years off and on and I consider him a mentor. I am a black male, 26 years old and my name is Phoenix. Anyway, here is my blog. I think you guys might like to read it. I will post more if you guys like this.***
Bad Boys Need Dating Sites Too!
I am tired of these women pissing and moaning and whining and groaning about how they can't find any good men. The cool thing to do for the past decade is online dating. It seems like everyone else and their mamas have their own dating sites, why not criminals? Why not the thugs? Women say they want good men but they always seem to date the bad men first and then cry when they canâ€™t find good men.
â€œI just want a decent guy! I want a guy that can save me from my slutty ways! I know I used to f**k every thug ninja that has walked the face of the Earth, but I have changed! The good man I want in my life has to take care of my tribe of 25 kids, if he tries to f**k me, he doesnâ€™t need to try that hard! f***ing me is like throwing a hot dog through a hallway! f***ing me is like sticking your dick in a Hearst! I know I am 40 years old and my sexual drive is gone. I know my p***y is dead; I want my nice guy to give it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! My p***y has lost its entire flavor and it smells like fungus and baked beans! How come I canâ€™t find a good man? Come on eligible men!â€�
I love that! Anyway, MySpace for example, you can choose who you want to look for. Men can be any ethnicity that you want. You can choose religion, their age, sexual preference, education, and all that jazz. American women, men are not as stupid as you think. We know you like the thugs, jerks, and the rest of the bottom of the barrel boys alright. You canâ€™t bullshit a bullshitter. Men are not putting up with your bitchassness anymore! Stop pretending you like men like me and just go on this new website. Yep, I founded this website and it is dedicated to the women that love their bad boys. â€œWhat is this website called? Strong and independent women finally have a website for the men we truly want! What is it!?â€� I am glad you asked! It is called http://www.thugsgetlonelytoo.com
What are the features of this website?
The website has all of the basic shit on it like age, ethnicity, religion, etc. Here is the twist though; I added new categories for the women that want to have things more specific. What are these new categories?
Criminal Record: Short, long, very extensive
Status: Currently in: jail, rehab, therapy, psychiatric ward
Criminal System: jail, prison, penitentiary, county jail
Conviction: misdemeanor, felony, pending conviction
Violence level: high, extremely high, F.B.I. most wanted list
Crime committed: murder, manslaughter, grand larceny, kidnapping, rape, child molester, etc.
Baby Mamas: 1, 3-6, I lost count
Children: tribe, village, major city population
Education: High school dropout, GED, middle school, no education
Weapons: gun, knife, chainsaw, etc.
Tattoos: 3-6, 7-10, an art gallery
Specialized job skills: drug dealing, human trafficking, pimp, liquor store robber
Gang affiliation: crip, blood, etc.
Thatâ€™s the type of dating site we need in this toxic society! If the thug you are dating or married is currently in jail, he gets special privileges on the dating site. That will be explained on a future date. So, how does this site sound to all of you liars, I mean ladies? Letâ€™s face it, you want the bad boys until you are around 35-40 years old and you want a guy like me. You donâ€™tâ€™ want to hurt my feelings! Go on the website and date the men you really want. This will weed out the men you never wanted and the good women will actually find the good men that they want. All parties are happy and you know it clap your hands (old school). The bad women wonâ€™t complain about not finding a â€œgood manâ€� and they can have their thugs exclusively. The good women can finally know where the good men are because the thug site is free and shit. Thugs get lonely too!
*DISCLAIMER â€“ this dating website is not f***ing real. It is just an idea that should happen.
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Brilliant. That's all I have to say.
I think a better name might be felonfantasia.com or Criminalcupid.com. It appeals to your typical Anglo woman's liking of 'fairytale' romances by referring to romantic figures like that little twerp Cupid.