Land of the Bald Bitches + Obsession with Blond Hair

[Fenix]

*Super old blog post I wrote*

What is up with American women and their obsession with their hair? Also, women are beginning this new trend of going bald. Like we need women to act like men even more. The bald bullshit started with Solange Knowles (Beyonce's little baldheaded sister) cut her weave off and then everyone and their mother begins to do it. Cassie, Keyshia Cole, Ciara and other celebrities began to yell, "We are women! We are liberated and free from the oppression of trying to straighten our already nappy ass hair that is kinky by nature!" Shut the f**k up. No one told you to go to a hair salon and spend $50,000 a week on horse hair and radioactive hair gel. I shave my head three times a day and I will be God damned if a woman I am interested in looks like me. f**k that. I feel like I am rubbing on a crystal ball when she is blowing me. That is bad for business! I want my fingers to brush through long (straight or curly) hair. Shit, it doesn't even have to be that damn long. I love women that have hair. Female skinheads here we come!

This is a trend that needs to die a miserable, cruel, agonizing death. Chris Rock is in my top 5 list of greatest comedians ever and he is coming out with a movie called "Good Hair" on October 9th (cheap plug). I was browsing on YouTube to see the trailer and I saw Chris Rock on the Orca Winfrey show. I was like, "well, maybe I should check this shit out," I did. This is why I am writing this shit today. Women are so obsessed with looking good 24/7 365, it is ri-dic-u-lous. It is not that serious. I get it, you like to do your hair but black women and women that love weaves, please kill yourself. I do not particularly like black women but if I did, I would have a huge problem with them having a weave. First of all, I like to play with my girl's hair. Always have, always will. If I put my hands through a black woman's hair, the weave comes off, I believe she is dying right in front of me. Granted, black women have this theory that men that date them will never touch their weave, I am not like other men. I would touch, rub, brush, do whatever I want to your hair.

It is not my fault that you have a fetish for super gluing things to your head. Your scalp is a science experiment gone wrong. You have more chemicals in your head than the periodic table. That is some f***ed up shit. Weaves, I have always hated them. Black women in particular, do not like to be natural. They think it is wrong to wear their hair the way nature intended it to be. I am sorry, sister but mother nature raped you of having straight, wavy, curly, frizzy hair. Boo hoo! Boo boo face all you want. You have to accept the fact that your ancestors were from the continent of Africa. Where the equator is your neighbor. Your kinky, nappy hair is your trademark. Do not get me started on the black women that like to dye their hair blonde (white women get the hammer too) but black women, you do not have blonde hair and blue eyes. You look like straight booty. Just stop the madness!
Another thing I do not like is when women (white women usually) are obsessed with dying their hair blonde. Like blonde is the only hair color. I feel like I am at Fort Knox, all the damn gold I see. Some skank on Orca said that the reason why she dyed her hair blonde was because she would stand out. Say what, say huh? You know how many white women have artificial blonde hair? A woman with a mohawk that is silver stands out. You are the typical cookie cutter slut prototype. Many women that dye their hair have said that they do not know their real hair color. That is a f***ing shame. I like blonde hair, it looks adorable, cute as a necktie but their has to be a little variety in this world. I saw the audience on the Orca show today and half the audience was blonde. I apologize, fake blonde. It is sickening. Women in general will do anything to look good. "Hey girl, put this rat poison in your scalp, it makes your hair smell like peaches and mangoes. Try it! It is the new trend. Trust me, Megan Fox does it herself. Miley Cyrus uses Raid roach spray as hairspray. She says her hair is more thick because of it. Cosmopolitian is the greatest magazine of all times! OMFGLOLZ!"

I bet you any amount of money that these women will listen to anything a magazine, feminist talk show host or anything on televison has to say. Especially when it has something to do with beauty. Another cunt on the show said she would tip anyone in the salon that told her she was beautiful. I hear the liberty bell, that sounds like a f***ing whore to me. I do not get it. Mother nature works in mysterious ways. You have nappy, kinky hair, so what? That is how you look. You do not have hair like Farrah Fawcett and you never will. Another thing that makes me horny is this...Many American women talk shit about women that want to straighten their hair. When they want to perm their hair, they say "Wocka, wocka, wocka, you are trying to look like a white girl! Stop selling out! You can't have hair like them! Grow your afro and yell black power like Angela Davis, you rat motherf***er!"

Did I miss the memo? Did I delete a voicemail? White women are the only women on Earth with straight hair? Last time I checked, every ethnicity on Earth has straight hair except black women. To my knowledge. If I am not mistaken. I am sure about this. Why white women? You cannot have a lamp with a light bulb or a black woman with a white woman reference. Black women will always be jealous of white women. Black women say black men are self hating because we like to date women of every ethnicity. Black women, write this down, you are so obsessed with weaves and try to copy what all the white women are doing. Black men self hate? Yeah right. Black women are the most insecure, most hypocritical women on the planet. Enough about black women. Women are just herds of blind sheep and will latch on to anything in their path. If it has something to do with money, fame and beauty, they will do anything. I will get a lot of flack for this but I do not care. Just my opinion, if you don't like it, you can get the f**k out! There is an exit sign on the right, walk your pretty little ass out of here.