I'm Getting Married!!!!

Fenix · Post by **Fenix** » December 13th, 2010, 12:08 pm

*Old blog post I wrote*

I'm getting married this weekend. I met this cool girl yesterday and I proposed to her. Is this too long? Should I wait another week? 3 days is too long to wait to marry someone. We have so much in common. We are both Atheists and we like pizza. We are meant to be together. She is my soulmate. I cannot believe I met someone like her. I know we are going to be married for a long time. I believe we will last about 2 months tops. I can feel it! When we get divorced, I will lose my house, my car, my kids, and my mind! I just cannot wait to get married! Many of my guy friends told me not to jump the witches broom but I have to. I have to be a slave for my wife and children. I cannot wait to not have sex every other day like I use to. My wife is going to be a fat hog around the house. She is going to watch great television talks shows like Tyra Skanks and Orca Winfrey.

My wife is going to be a great mother to our children. She is going to take them to the daycare center and hire a nanny, so she can go on shopping sprees and max out my credit card. When I get back home from working a 14 hour work day, my wife is going to have a nice plate of pepperoni pizza hot pockets waiting for me on the dinner table. Man, my wife sure does know how to cook! She is a pro! My wife said that I cannot go out with the boys on the weekends, I wanted to watch a few NFL games and grab a cold brewsky. I cannot do those things anymore, I am a family man. My wife cares so much about me. My wife says I cannot have a social life outside of her and the children and I agreed. All the friends I grew up with are single and free and I am married and miserable. Marriage life is the best! On that glorious day when I finally walk inside the divorce and family court, I am anticipating a life of debt and heartache.

That is what I deserve. I want to have the American dream. My house (wife owns that now) 2.5 children (wife has full custody) and a couple of dogs (our kids are the pets of the household). All of this was worth it! The day my wife told me that the wedding reception, wedding ceremony, bachelorette party, wedding dress, wedding ring and other trivial accessories were the best thing in her life, I was overjoyed. I looked at the expenses of all of these things and it was a grand total of $120,000, this is the exact same amount of money I have to pay my wife and kids for the next 18 years. Alimony, child support, and spousal support, oh goody! All of my guy friends are just jealous because the marriage life is so grand. They are single f***ing and chucking women every weekend and I have to be a wage slave and be sexless at home with my beautiful, enormous wife. I knew it would be a risk but I still decided to get married. American women are the best in the world!

/satire

This is why many dumb f***s in this country get divorced. Example, Khloe Kardashian (Odom) and Lamar Odom got married! Less than a month of knowing each other! Why? Americans believe that marriage is the ultimate prize in life. Marriage life is praised as some type of achievement. Marriage life for a man is like being in Alcatraz. Men, do not get f***ing married! If you do get married, marry a foreign woman or if you religiously love your girlfriend, do it. Further than that, there is no need to get married. Women gain a lot more from marriage than a man does. A man worked his whole life to become successful and all a woman has to do is marry and divorce him. His house, car, assets are all hers.

Marriage is the biggest scam ever created. Marriage is the most successful business in America. The thing I do not get is, men know what is going on. Men see men get f***ed in the ass and they still go out and get married. You want to be a slave. If you want to get ass raped in family and divorce court, go right ahead. You deserve it. Michael Jordan had to pay alimony, why the blue hell do you think you won't? You are f***ed. Avoid American women like the plague. All American women want to do is get married. That is their ultimate goal. Men dream of being successful, women dream of wearing a wedding dress. Look at the men's section of the magazine aisle. What do you see? Sports, men's fitness, video game magazine. Women's section? Bridal and wedding magazines. Go figure! The moral of this story is, stay single, stay free and go to a different country to get a real woman. Getting married is not the answer, buying a plane ticket to Brazil is!

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » December 13th, 2010, 2:32 pm

Phoenix Sosa wrote:The moral of this story is, stay single, stay free and go to a different country to get a real woman. Getting married is not the answer, buying a plane ticket to Brazil is!

Yes, going to find a wife in a foreign country is the best idea for men in the western hemisphere. I think a trip to Brazil would be just what the doctor ordered! (check out the lovely Brazilian women below)

ajvf97 · Post by **ajvf97** » June 15th, 2011, 10:28 pm

That post was f***ing hilarious! World Cup Brazil 2014, here I come!

CheezeRaider · Post by **CheezeRaider** » June 15th, 2011, 11:19 pm

boycotamricanwoman needs to put this in his blog.

The_Adventurer · Post by **The_Adventurer** » June 15th, 2011, 11:43 pm

Or get married in Philippines, where there is no divorce, and family is the most important thing to a girl.

Kapinga626 · Post by **Kapinga626** » June 16th, 2011, 12:31 am

When I told people at work that I was getting married , this one asshole came up to me , handed me a box of cleenex , and said " Look , she is just going to use you to get her citizenship , so why don't you just give her all your money , sign your car over to her , and give her half of all your stuff now and get it over with " .

He was right . ~ sniff ~

ajvf97 · Post by **ajvf97** » June 16th, 2011, 6:50 am

Which is why if you do get married then do it outside of the not so good ole' US of A. Do not ever bring a foreign woman over here. The culture and food is so toxic that she'll get so quickly americanized. Move abroad and get married or just move abroad and have a permanent girlfriend.

Grunt · Post by **Grunt** » June 16th, 2011, 3:37 pm

I would not be so fast to write off American men. The Marriage Strike is now a mainstream movement and marriage rates are the lowest in recorded history.

Like Fred Reed says, it may not be a good time to be married, but its a great time to be single. I have much hope these days. We may see a paradigm shift within our lifetimes.

djfourmoney · Post by **djfourmoney** » June 17th, 2011, 12:30 am

ajvf97 wrote:That post was f***ing hilarious! World Cup Brazil 2014, here I come!

Umm you'll wanna go WAY before that... By all accounts prices have risen since the economy tanked starting in 2007 (weaker dollar, stronger real). They'll skyrocket ahead of the big event. If you wan to visit Brazil you better get your ass in gear. If you want to get an idea how big of a price increase, just go down to Brazil during Carnival.

djfourmoney · Post by **djfourmoney** » June 17th, 2011, 12:36 am

Grunt wrote:I would not be so fast to write off American men. The Marriage Strike is now a mainstream movement and marriage rates are the lowest in recorded history.

Like Fred Reed says, it may not be a good time to be married, but its a great time to be single. I have much hope these days. We may see a paradigm shift within our lifetimes.

Explain for the average dude how being Single is liberating and a good thing in America? Remember prostitution is illegal here and you're not David Vitter so you can't get away with it and keep your job too.

I'm getting some blow back on a mongering site for taking some of the money I am earning harvesting my plasma and wanted to spend it on hoes in TJ (not yet). Saying that mongering is only for those with well-paid jobs. Figuring that you shouldn't budget your jaunts down there and spend wildly since its cheap (8 to 1).

Overall I agree with boycotting American Women across the board, however I wouldn't sell that being single is a good thing. Most dudes have trouble getting laid and its not for lack of trying...

djfourmoney · Post by **djfourmoney** » June 17th, 2011, 12:49 am

ajvf97 wrote:Which is why if you do get married then do it outside of the not so good ole' US of A. Do not ever bring a foreign woman over here. The culture and food is so toxic that she'll get so quickly americanized. Move abroad and get married or just move abroad and have a permanent girlfriend.

Do you have any experience with a "permanent" girlfriend?

Look, I am tired of the rhetoric that if you bring your new foreign bride back to America that all the forces that you rail against on this forum will work to undo all your hard work.

THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE and what REALLY happen is that YOU THE MAN just PICK THE WRONG WOMAN. Some personalty traits are HARD to pick up on but most MEN don't spend enough time with these WOMEN before making a decision. Usually less than 6 months. HOWEVER, I can think of at least TEN examples of couples I know PERSONALLY that have been going strong for several years with no major problems.

I sort of feel sorry for some men that wife some Eastern European or something and after she's integrated herself into the economy and culture, she comes to you wanting a divorce. Men just ASSUME it was there fault and did something wrong. That usually is not the case and its something you just didn't pick up while you were having the time of your life with this women during the courting stage.

Combine this with limited time off that many men have, including those self-employed and you can see how this can be problematic.

All that said, its simply not true that every guy that brings his wife back to America will be corrupted and frankly many women would find that insulting.

skateboardstephen · Post by **skateboardstephen** » June 17th, 2011, 1:07 am

djfourmoney wrote:
ajvf97 wrote:Which is why if you do get married then do it outside of the not so good ole' US of A. Do not ever bring a foreign woman over here. The culture and food is so toxic that she'll get so quickly americanized. Move abroad and get married or just move abroad and have a permanent girlfriend.
Do you have any experience with a "permanent" girlfriend?

Look, I am tired of the rhetoric that if you bring your new foreign bride back to America that all the forces that you rail against on this forum will work to undo all your hard work.

THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE and what REALLY happen is that YOU THE MAN just PICK THE WRONG WOMAN. Some personalty traits are HARD to pick up on but most MEN don't spend enough time with these WOMEN before making a decision. Usually less than 6 months. HOWEVER, I can think of at least TEN examples of couples I know PERSONALLY that have been going strong for several years with no major problems.

I sort of feel sorry for some men that wife some Eastern European or something and after she's integrated herself into the economy and culture, she comes to you wanting a divorce. Men just ASSUME it was there fault and did something wrong. That usually is not the case and its something you just didn't pick up while you were having the time of your life with this women during the courting stage.

Combine this with limited time off that many men have, including those self-employed and you can see how this can be problematic.

All that said, its simply not true that every guy that brings his wife back to America will be corrupted and frankly many women would find that insulting.

i have to agree with you on that one.so true

I'm Getting Married!!!!

I'm Getting Married!!!!

Re: I'm Getting Married!!!!