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A friend from my list recently spent time here in Angeles City and noticed, like me, that the expats here are not humble at all, but have a know-it-all attitude that they carry with them. Why is that? He postulated that it was because they either used to be in the military and thus think they are big shots, or theyâ€™ve laid many hot sexy young girls here and thus had their ego inflated, or they are narcissists who come here and thrive on all the attention and special treatment they get.
Any other theories?
Besides the know it all attitude, many of them also have this dominating attitude. And you gotta remember, not all guys here are like me - nice guys who were treated like sh** back in the states by women. They are dominating types looking for submissive women who complement their domineering presence and honor it.
The local Filipinos in Angeles have a rule of thumb, which is that 80 percent of foreigners here are a**holes. So your chances of finding a nice guy if youâ€™re a Filipina are 2 out of 10. And all the Filipinas in Angeles claim that the guys who hang around Fields Ave are playboys and â€œbabaerosâ€�.
Also, there seems to be a lot of misinformation here, both among locals and expats. For instance, older expats who have been here for years have told me that sex outside of marriage is technically illegal in the Philippines and that one can be arrested for it based on that alone, and that all Filipinas with white skin use skin whitening cream. I have found out these things to check out to be false. Some light skinned Filipinas are naturally that way, while others use whitening cream.
I wonder why so many expats jump to conclusions that are erroneous? Why canâ€™t they just say â€œI donâ€™t knowâ€� sometimes?
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Some expats, and people from the anti-American movement in general, strike me as sociopaths afflicted by narcissism and a dismissive attachment style.
Also remember that there are many reasons for someone to be an expat, and while it is often due to relationships, it may be career. If we are only considering those who are expats due to relationship problems in the USA, remember that there are usually 3 specific issues in relationships that often push people to find mates abroad. That would be: those who have difficulty initiating a relationship, those who have trouble establishing commitment in a relationship, or those who have trouble with relationship initiation AND commitment. People who have failing relationships and those who cannot start a relationship often hold a grudge. I imagine that those who have difficulty initiating a relationship are the most bitter, because it is often the case that a person cannot initiate a relationship because they aren't considered attractive, while those who just have trouble establishing commitment have the satisfaction of at least knowing that they are considered attractive/can get laid easily.
I imagine that it's probably a really tough pill to swallow to be aware that a culture does not consider you attractive, and it's probably not much consolation to know that some other culture DOES find you attractive. Also consider the reality is that nearly everyone benefits from "the exotic factor" when it comes to being attractive in a foreign land, and I am sure people rub that in allot. Many (if not most) people are attractive in certain cultures, but not attractive in others. This is despite the fact that beauty standards are starting to become universal as the world shrinks. The are a certain number of people who are not considered attractive in their own native culture, but very attractive in another culture. If you are not a person who lives up to American standards of attraction, it doesn't mean you are ugly or anything, as Americans standards are just as puzzling as any other culture. If you are a bald/thinning haired white guy, but very clean with nice clean nails, and dress nicely, you are probably considered attractive in Russia, but maybe not so much in America. In America, you may still be considered an attractive guy with dirty nails and old baggy clothes, as long as you have a full head of hair and aren't fat. Overly polite guys don't always do so well with women in the USA either, even if they are good looking (have symmetrical features, good build, or whatever). I think what might happen sometimes is that a person can get afflicted by narcissism and a dismissive attachment style when instead of just accepting that you aren't everyone's cup of tea in culture a, but are in culture b, you try to find a way to prove that culture a is wrong for not finding you attractive.
People who are narcissists and/or have dismissive attachment styles will often come across as domineering and sarcastic (sometimes silently domineering, and subtly sarcastic). I think it is more constructive to just be happy that you found a culture where you can more easily initiate relationships, and don't waste your time holding a grudge against the culture that doesn't find you attractive. Plus, one thing that foreigners often find unattractive about Americans is our sarcastic sense of humor and being overly aggressive. Expats would probably fare even better if they would lose the sarcasm and grudge against their culture of origin. What does it really say about a person is he says "I come from a country full of morons, but yet I am totally brilliant." Think about it.
If you really think about it, almost everyone has experienced a culture that doesn't find them attractive, if you consider microcultures. There are cultures within an office environment, or even within a musical fan base ... and almost every person, no matter how hot they are will not be considered attractive in at least one of these groups.
The bottom like, I think that some expats are on the one hand, happy to have found someone, and on the other hand, still bitter about past relationship failures.
"The limits of my language mean the limits of my world." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
I was taking with a Filipino Lawyer about family law in the Philippines.
And you are correct if your wife is having sex with another man you can sue him in court for this. And he will likely do jail time. You also have the option of shooting him dead if you catch him in that act of boning your wife, believe it or not this is legal under Philippine law, no you cannot shoot your wife that would be considered murder. As a guy you can hit it with a chick in the cane field, basically if you are horny you can hit it and quit it, this is legal. But if you keep her in some dwelling it is considered keeping a concubine and this is illegal under Philippine law. I would always consult a lawyer before you considered any of the above
Some expiates I meet are very happy with there Filipina wives. In Cebu Island the Germans have reputation of being abusive to there wives.
W: I wasn't talking about adultery though. The expat was claiming that sex BEFORE marriage was illegal and punishable by law, as well as breaking a girl's virginity. I found out that is only illegal under Catholic law, not civil laws.
I have never heard of anything concerning relations before marriage as far as Filipino law goes. I would have to ask a lawyer about that. The relatives may put a lot of pressure on you to get married once you are boning a girl. Sort of like the shotgun wedding thing.
Especially if she gets knocked-up, something young Filipinas are very good at.
The â€œExpat Know it Allâ€� syndrome is really no different from Comic book shop, Gun Store owners and IT folks
People who are a part of any sub-culture for some time tend to get the â€œI know everything and am better than youâ€� attitude. Especially when it comes to Male Expats â€“ many of us feel enlightened after discovering the Expat lifestyle, not unlike those that have found religion in prison â€“ except our prison was the Western World. Because many expats (I am somewhat guilty of this) feel that they are now â€œenlightenedâ€� and that everyone else in the western world are just â€œsheepâ€� â€“ they tend to get the â€œholier than thouâ€� attitude. And like Woo said â€“ some guys who suddenly start getting laid a lot, now have maids and are treated like they are rock stars just simply get arrogant
Another Explanation: Some people are just Ass-Holes no matter where they live
Personally the â€œI am here on a 20 billion a year expat package and play golf with my wife Buffy on the weekends at the country club where the brown locals know their placeâ€� Expats annoy me more that the Expat Bar Braggarts