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You wonder why women act the way we do. I can't speak for all women, but I can speak from a woman's perspective. When a man approaches us, we in an instant assess him. What goes through our minds: bum, successful man, ethnicity, age, safe, bad, all this in one instant. It's amazing how much the mind can take in in an instant, and just as quickly the decision if he is worth your time. In an instant we know who we want to talk to and who we don't. If someone falls in between, they will have to work at getting you to their side. Most men we don't even glance at, we just have a sense of what is in a man.
There are picky women and women who will go with anybody, it seems. The picky women usually have a high standard, and would rather remain single than date someone less than her ideals.
Some women can't handle being alone, and can easily get involved with a man, without concerns for morals or what others think. They can drift from one man to another, like drama, and feed of it.
There is the easy woman and the hard to get woman.
And there is the in between.
If you want a classy woman, you have to have your act together, because she only goes for men who have similar taste.
Vulgarity appeals to women beneath the pile.
Anyway, women discriminate naturally, exclude, and prefer only a few. Those who don't get the worse.
Men can seem like an annoyance, by the time a woman has left her home, sometimes she has had many guys watch her from their cars, a few glance at her at the side of the road, and some calling her. So it becomes automatic to reject men's advances after a while because she gets so many.
To get her attention you really have to stand out, or look for an opening where she really needs help. Some women will reject that, and sometimes for good reasons, because some strange men have been known to hurt women. So, usually we expect a newcomer to prove himself.
Women can become cruel, insensitive, and provoked without reason, and have a sense of self-righteousness over men, just because they are women.
Then women also get together and discuss how men are, and give individual examples. Some women say ALL men are bad. Never trust a man. If you say otherwise, they say you are naive. Some women rally hate men.
Anyway, women are not everything in life.
Well, at least we agree on something.
I'll tell you what goes on in my mind ... when I meet a woman, as soon as she gives me an attitude or plays hard to get or whatever, I immediately put her in the 'soon-to-be-forgotten' pile and soon, I remember her, like I remember the color of the prior 10th car I'd seen in an intersection. In essence, she's aged out of my long term memory.
Thus, American women will have a hard time getting me because I don't find them attractive. Is this a survival strategy? No, because my self-respect & dignity doesn't depend upon their approval but I do value my time and energy.
When I reversed that on my sister, boy, did she freak out! She was never given the self-righteous treatment by her husband but got it from her younger Beta brother.
S_Parc, the last sentence in my first post, I tried to edit it, as that is not what I wanted to be my final sentence. However the computer will not let me edit it. Anyway I made a second post that presents the way I want it.
Anyway, S_Parc, you treat American women a certain way now. I guess a man has to do whatever it takes to survive.
Now that I genuinely don't care about 'em, they're much more interested in figuring why a person (w/ success and looks) doesn't care for them. It's sad that they're more drawn to a situation of *plausible neglect* than in finding a guy who might actually care about them.
Wow, this post made my night. So let's start:
Same happens to me when I see a car. I can see that they guy is driving a beatup Honda Civic - he probably some young college kid or no-education fast food chain employee. When there is a BMW 7-series - I can see it being driven by some lawyer or old grandpa. Well, you get the idea of the stereotype.
SOMEHOW, you see a car that you've never seen before in your lifetime. For example, I've seen an old Pegeout on my street a few days ago - wow! I know those cars are French, but hey - you don't know how to react to it.
Guess what? That's what I get from American girls. I am a freaking immigrant. I am dressed well, I smell of good expensive cologne, I drive a brand new mid-size car, I got an amazing job and great education, I hold U.S. passport, my looks are definitely better than average Joe. But I DON'T FIT INTO ANY STEREOTYPES! Girls just don't know how to assess me. That alone, honey, means that girls in the U.S. are completely closed off their brains and judge off some instincts that were assigned to them by the media and the society.
But even for example you see a decent guy in the mall or maybe in the line at grocery store. DO YOU EVER TALK TO THAT GUY??? NO! HELL NO! Unless he is Tom Cruise or pulled up in Ferrari, but even so you will not talk to him. People just don't freaking meet people in the U.S.
Tell me something I don't know. Let's see, picky women are those that get tired of rich caring husband and dump him for some wigger/white trash loser who treats her like shit? Or picky women are lawyers that have only career in their life and occasional hookup at the bars? Are they actually picky or so dumb that they don't know what is happiness in their life?
That's how I totally freeze many American girls. I just ask them: "Are you happy with your life?" and "do you know what you want out of your life?". Wow, almost no one knows. Besides career and education, personal life for American girls is a mystery, they have no idea what they want!
I found a classy girl. But she is Russian. Guess what? I haven't yet met a "true" classy woman in the U.S. There some hot girls that act upscale, seem educated, but all it takes is to talk to their friends or see her at the party and the guys she falls for. Wow, just seeing that made me puke. American girls have NO CLASS, period!
This one made me laugh SO BADLY! I NEVER compliment or ever talk to American girls because they ARE always annoyed! But in Eastern Europe, women WANT and EXPECT compliments and guys that would want to meet them. Every compliment gives those women a slice of energy and makes her happy, it DOES NOT boost her bitchy arrogant self-esteem, but rather gives her approval of the society. It makes her smile basically and enjoy knowing that she is able to grab attention.
In the same situation, American girls are annoyed. Wow. Are those men try to rape you? No? They compliment you? Try to meet you? Well, smile and say thanks. What's so freaking hard about it? Try to appreciate it. Have you ever guessed that one of those men could be a great father for your children, but you dumped him because he is a third guy who talked to you that day? Stop counting and start looking into their eyes.
How about you prove yourself to me??? Again, another double standard! WHY DO I HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF? Who the hell are you? Ms. Perfect? Virgin Mary? Do you expect men to have any dignity? It's your freaking problem that you fall for white trash weed smokers, I am not like that. So why do I have to prove it to every dumb blonde?
I would agree with "you have to stand out" part, except in the U.S. it is screwed up as well. Look at that Mystery peacocking! IT IS SO LAME! You "make" yourself standout to get other people's attention. In other words, "you FAKE yourself" to get people's attention because if you don't usually peacock - well then why are you doing it? To get noticed? Thank you, it's time to grow up and understand what to notice in people.
When I lived in Ukraine getting noticed took very good ironed clean clothes (leather shoes, classic shirt/sportcoat), expensive cologne and good "buzz" haircut. Well, in U.S. dressing up means jack shit because women "notice" ghetto bro's and wiggers, but not classy dressed guys. Women rather think those guys are "gay" Wow! I think ghetto dudes are much more gay because they show their underwear and their ass cracks as they walk, but whatever.
Only in America honey, only here.
Only in the U.S. again! Russian girls would say "all guys are horrible", but inside they still dream of falling in love. I know it, I see it in them. Only American women openly, honestly, sincerely hate men! Wow, did they think that they were stupid to chase some idiots? I just love it when a girl is dating a complete idiot and then another one and tells her friends that "All men are bad". Yeah, right! It's not the men, it's her who is totally dumb and retarded.
This only occurs in America where women are so damn picky! In the US single men outnumber single men up to age 50. This explains why women in America are getting asked out so much. It's funny how in Russia and eastern Europe, women don't mind men asking them out or starting conversations with them.
Pick up artists say, you can approach women in bookstores, grocery stores and shopping malls in America. Good luck with that!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
I enjoyed reading your response, have2fly. I was just trying to give the woman's view here. I am not saying it is good or bad. But this is some of what goes through our mind when we see men. Of course, sometime, it is not fair, but it is just the way it is. We take a great risk if we give men the benefit of the doubt. When we get to know you, we may treat you in a more disarming way. We have this fear that we may get raped or murdered by a strange man, and this fear lurks in our minds always. 95% of the men out there I believe are probably safe, but we live that it is better safe than sorry. Though guys like the likes of Ted Bundy are probably more rare than we women think, we tend to always dwell on that possibility. It's not fair to you guys, who are really just as human as the rest of us, but that is how the female mind thinks in America. Women are instilled from birth to not trust strange men. It is an automatic reaction after a while.
Well, overseas may be the answer for some men. Just remember, when you bring her over here, she'll become American and you may lose it all.
American women like compliments, and need it as much as women overseas, or she won't put out so much energy into shopping for the latest fashion and keeping her looks updated. Even if she does not acknowledge your compliment, most women enjoy it. Yea, there are a lot of mean, ungracious women out there, but there are ones who really will accept your compliments.
I am sorry that the field out there is so hard for men, but the media has given you guys a bum rap. The media is anti-men.
I agree, have2fly, that the European standard of dressing is more classy than the trendy American one. Perhaps, we can learn a thing or two from you guys.
In the end, the people who get a happy marriage are the people who marry for true values, like caring, respect, love, and a shared outlook.
Overall, I agree with what you have to say, have2fly.
WV, there are a few of us guys that really do appreciate your comments. Thanks for acknowledging the fact that there are problems between men and women. So many women will not recognize that these issues exist.
Your paragraph above encapsulates what is happening in America today. The mere fact that there are more single men than women in USA coupled with women not "settling" and a person can start comprehending why SOOOOO many guys are frustrated! Guys want companionship....they want to find a nice gf and eventual wife. But we also get tired of searching the haystack for the needle.
I know too many guys in their 30s and 40s that have given up on dating. Although not happy about it, they are somewhat comfortable sitting on the sidelines and stumbling thru life by themselves.
Thank goodness for sites like this that show men that they don't have to be alone...that options exist.
Those guys are luckier than they realize. The body bags, resulting from the blown relationships & marriages of the 20s/30s/40s will astonish them. In all honestly, I believe ~80% of stateside couples are miserable & have found ways of covering it up so that it only appears like it's a 40-50% phenomena. See the movie, "American Beauty", as a major picture Hollywood example.
I have a number of married female "acquaintances" & I estimate that 70%, not 50%, will be divorced after their kids turn 17-18. And these are dual income folks, not the credit card/checking account scammers like my sister.
Well, I am glad that my responses haven't provoked more aggression as usually happens when I tell American girls these things straight forward.
So few things on the quote. First, if girls so "over-protective", why are there so many American girls having children in high school? Another thing, if girls are so "over-protective", why do they actually date and marry idiots and retards??? THAT BLOWS MY MIND! Where is the common sense? Women say they are afraid, but they want to spend time with douche bags! WTF? Where is the logic here?
On another note. I am sure that rape rate in the U.S. isn't any higher or lower than other countries. Furthermore, girls in Russia or Ukraine are treated much more rude by men, many had been "forced" into having sex (but actually that's how it works with them, which is considered normal - you have to "push" them a little, they expect that not to look like sluts, but many guys push beyond limits, so it becomes rape). So those girls are still not scared of every guy trying to rape them, instead they dream about love and caring guy next to them. They dream about "giving themselves completely to that guy", meaning many of them see themselves totally "giving their life" to the guy, do whatever it takes to be with him etc (not in a bad way, in romantic way if you know what that is). American girls never say that, but they actually do "give their everything" to IDIOTS! They chase idiots, love them, care about them! WTF??? I don't freaking get it! Then people talk about "high rates of domestic violence" in the U.S. DUH! No wonder it will happen with these kind of relationship.
Yet one more note. What kind of risk exists there in real every day life in the States for women???!!! You see a guy, say hi, go for a coffee with him. Just exactly where is he going to rape you? At a grocery store you met him or at Starbucks? There is a modified Russian saying, which is more of slang in modified version. In English it sounds like "If you (guy) are afraid of the teeth, you won't ever get a blowjob". It means that you gotta take some basic simple risks in your life. Nevertheless, American women agree to risk their life chasing idiots, but being scared to talk to "normal" guys they see everyday. WOW! I don't even find a right word to describe rate of retardation of this behavior.
That's exactly why immigrants and foreigners call Americans "zombies" or "brainwashed" or "soulless robots". Everything in American life happens on "Automatic" - relationships, life, work, clubbing, holidays. Everything happens in the way it is supposed to, people follow social norms and rules! There is no variety in life. Just how living this kind of life makes people happy? I remember a quote from one of the conspiracy movies (Zeitgeist?), one famous guy said that "the most enslaved people are the ones who believe they are free". Awesome quote!
Just how do you define "strange men"? American women think I am strange, weirdo and creepy. LMAO! In reality, I am sweet, fun, "pumped up" and positive guy. But I don't act like other guys and I have "that strange accent", so automatically I am strange because they don't know how to qualify me. Amazing
Guys lose it too. I am trying to resist becoming totally Americanized because it just will not make my life happier! I am not seeing any stereotypes in the U.S. that I want to follow and absorb. Deep inside there are very few happy people. So yes, girls will be constantly brainwashed by the media and other girls that guys are creeps and "how dare you to take care and love your husband"? etc etc etc...
That is one more thing that BLOWS MY MIND! There are some very hot American girls. Of course there isn't many of them, but if you hit major clubs downtown in the large city you will see short skirts, high heels and gorgeous hair styles. But those girls totally blow off ALL guys that try to talk to them! WHY WHY WHY did you freaking make that hair and spend all that time to dress up if you don't even talk to ANY MEN??? But if that was always the case, I would just understand that American girls don't hook up in the clubs. Instead those hot chicks pick lamest idiot who got into a fight, puked all over or just totally fake and retarded. Where is logic here??? I don't get it.
Another thing - if you come to a woman, automatically she thinks that you talk to her - you are a loser, especially if you have no women around you talking with you. WTF??? If some guy comes to you, he is not needy-loser, he is interested.
That TOOK ME A VERY LONG TIME to figure out that when I go to the club or some party - you have to bring a hot girl with you who is just your friend, that way it is almost guaranteed that you will get laid. WTFFFFF???? Why do American girls judge "how cool the guy is" by the girl next to him??? Russian or European girls always say that "if you try to fall for a guy who is surrounded by women - it will not bring happiness in your life because that guy is most likely a player". But in the U.S. it is the opposite - faking yourself into a "player" style actually gets you women I freaking laugh hard at this stuff, really. It is so retarded, when American girls see you with a hot girl, she thinks that "if that girl likes that guy, it means I have to get him, it also means he is fit for me". Why not go for an available guy??? It is either total stupidity or being so spoiled, not knowing what else to do with your life, but brake successful couples.
I've seen so called "happy marriages" in the U.S. So far, I have not seen any true "happy" marriages in my understanding. Why do wifes have a separate account from their husbands? Well, that could be OK I guess. But why do wifes and husbands live "independently"? Meaning, they meet at home, each of them cooks their own dinner. It is OK not to talk at all, everyone minds their own business. It becomes even worse when couples stop to have sex and live sexless for 10-20 years, or cheating on each other left and right. WTF??? No one says "We", I just notice American couples at the restaurants or parties. Husband always orders his food and wife orders her food. In Russian or Ukrainian restaurant, husband will ask a wife of what she wants and then he will say "WE will have steak/salad/whatever". WE WE WE!!! That amazing word that I just don't see in American families. It's all about "I" and "I", not "US" or "WE".
Thank you. I appreciate it.
have2fly, in some ways, you're wasting your time communicating with WV. She's trying to play both sides of the fence to prop up her position in all this. She wants to feel better than other women around her.
The reality of the situation is that in America, you have to show absolutely no interest in any women. Then, as a result of your aloofness and success in the "business" schmooze, women will find you attractive because of an outward display of success but a lack of interest in them. Then, you can get a female acquaintance to hang out with you, at parties, and soon, all kinds of women will be trying to get your attention to "steal you" away from her.
And this is suppose to be considered a modern, sophisticated culture. I'm calling it a bluff and a con.
WV's opinion is of no value. She needs to realize that she adds no value to a man's value. Yes, she needs to realize that American women are not "Susan B Anthonys", "Marie Curies", or any such luminaries but are hapless, passive-aggressive failures in life.
Strangely enough, the more I'd practiced losing interest, it actually occurred. I don't waste time with American women. It's always a business card type of gossip but then, I quickly move on to a foreign woman. It's now automatic without any prompting and thus, American women are now attracted to me but as a consequence, I don't care for them.
Pete98146, I do understand the problem that you guys are facing in America. It is a sad situation, really, what is happening in the last two generation. Believe me, everyone is suffering, not just some men, but some women, and almost all the children are affected. The problem is that the men have less choices and some no choices at all. At least with a woman, she can lower her standards and settle, for she may get a few or many offers.
Some men because of the way they look or because they don't make enough money, or they are ill at ease meeting women, may never at all marry in their life. Fortunately, these men can use the overseas option if they know about it. Or they may have to spend the rest of their lives alone.
There are few easy solutions. This is horrible, really.