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Women looking for "the one" = big problem

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 1:53 am
by odbo
This socially engineered idea of "the one".. the soul mate, is ridiculous. And leads to huge problems in dating & marriage. Anyone want to put in an argument for this? I'm telling you, this is one of if not the biggest problem with western women. Disney and the like indoctrinated them from childhood with this nonsense.

Re: Women looking for "the one" = big problem

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 1:56 am
by The_Hero_of_Men
LinuxOnly wrote:This socially engineered idea of "the one".. the soul mate, is ridiculous. And leads to huge problems in dating & marriage. Anyone want to put in an argument for this? I'm telling you, this is one of if not the biggest problem with western women. Disney and the like indoctrinated them from childhood with this nonsense.
I never really thought of it like that... Would you please care to elaborate on that?

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 2:13 am
by Adama
Dating used to be a prelude for marriage, when women essentially didnt work outside the home. So the man paid for everything, since he was going to be takign care of her financially later.

Now it is just a multi-faceted scam women use to get money, attention and ( so called ) alpha cock.

Re: Women looking for "the one" = big problem

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 2:19 am
by Contrarian Expatriate
LinuxOnly wrote:This socially engineered idea of "the one".. the soul mate, is ridiculous. And leads to huge problems in dating & marriage. Anyone want to put in an argument for this? I'm telling you, this is one of if not the biggest problem with western women. Disney and the like indoctrinated them from childhood with this nonsense.
You are precisely correct. By brainwashing these women (and men) that there is but one and only true love in life, you set up a variety of scenarios.

First, when the spark of attraction wears thin, and it will, women of this persuasion tend to think that they married in error and they seek divorce to try again.

Also, stalkers, both male and female, operate under the notion that the target is the "one and only." Mature peole understand that there are scores, or thousands, or millions of suitable partners, not just one.

Finally, when women seek out the elusive "one" they spare no expense whether it is divorce and remarriage, relocation, etc. This is good for corporate profits and commercial revenue.

The brainwashing begins early as nursery rhymes, cartoons, and young adult fiction all propagate this myth. The quest to meet the proverbial "one" is a recipe for heartache and letdown.

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 2:22 am
by keius
My best bud from my earlier years had 3 soulmates before he met his current soulmate whom he married. I'll just say that everyone and anyone can have multiple soulmates ok :) When he got to his 3rd soulmate, i recall bitching him out about the soulmate nonsense. He's never mentioned soulmates to me again. And he's a guy ok. So....it's not just women who ramble on about soulmates.

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 2:25 am
by Truthville
I'll bite Linuxonly!

The "one" is a hollywood created false premise that there is "one" person whom we are "destined" to be with.

For women this means that this "one" will overlook all her faults, be extremely handsome forever, be hung like a horse, be sexually undemanding, give into all her little "whims,"make her friends jealous, not care about her looks, not be as intelligent as them, make more money than them, and make "past" mistakes disappear.

And on and on...

See such Hollywood swill as:

"The Notebook"

"Pretty Woman"

etc.........

In short, a relationship where, instead of being equal partners, a relationship where SHE is the star and he is plays a supporting role in that blockbuster Hollywood extravaganza "The Story of MY Life!"

TruthVille

Re: Women looking for "the one" = big problem

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 2:33 am
by jamesbond
LinuxOnly wrote:This socially engineered idea of "the one".. the soul mate, is ridiculous. And leads to huge problems in dating & marriage. Anyone want to put in an argument for this? I'm telling you, this is one of if not the biggest problem with western women. Disney and the like indoctrinated them from childhood with this nonsense.
The idea of a "soulmate" is ridiculous! There are grown women out there who actually believe that out of all of the billions of people on the earth, there is only ONE person for them! Give me a f***ing break! :shock:

How come in America, 72% of all divorces are initiated by women? I thought if you married your soulmate, you can't get a divorce! :roll:

Also, it's mostly women who believe in astrology and tarot cards. Trying to figure out American women, is like trying to decypher egyptian hieroglyphics! :lol:

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 2:56 am
by djfourmoney
It is ridiculous.

Think for a second. Most men would be happy with 95% of what they want in a woman. Women on the other hand are told to look for perfection, that is until they hit about 35/40. Why until th closer you get to menopause that you only consider the best men possible? How come only when you have children from a failed relationship do you consider the best possible available?

Its very cultural, no easy fix and not in this generation.

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 3:58 am
by momopi
The Chinese have a concept called Yuanfen, which can be roughly translated as synchronicity:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuanfen

It's important to understand that Yuanfen will only bring 2 people together in a "meeting" sense, and not necessarily fated to become a couple or to marry.

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 4:11 am
by well-informed
Women looking for "the one" is exactly a problem. They assume that 'the one" will make her happy ALL THE TIME because he is perfect.

It's extremely unrealistic, borderline impossible for a woman to be happy all the time in a marriage. When she marries and realizes that marriage isn't a fairy-tale with a story-book ending, she decides to divorce you. Marriage is not a romance-novel and women need to realize that.

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 4:21 am
by MarkDY
The problem also comes from some religions. I was raised a fundie Baptist and I would regularly hear in sermons, that god had already chosen my spouse for me. And I should save myself (remain a virgin) until we were married. This is one reason why fundies have a higher divorse rate then the national average. Fundies convinence themselves that the first person my fall in love with, that those feelings come from god.
I am sure "Soulmate" has a religious origin.

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 10:09 am
by odbo
Truthville wrote:I'll bite Linuxonly!

The "one" is a hollywood created false premise that there is "one" person whom we are "destined" to be with.

For women this means that this "one" will overlook all her faults, be extremely handsome forever, be hung like a horse, be sexually undemanding, give into all her little "whims,"make her friends jealous, not care about her looks, not be as intelligent as them, make more money than them, and make "past" mistakes disappear.

And on and on...

See such Hollywood swill as:

"The Notebook"

"Pretty Woman"

etc.........

In short, a relationship where, instead of being equal partners, a relationship where SHE is the star and he is plays a supporting role in that blockbuster Hollywood extravaganza "The Story of MY Life!"

TruthVille
:lol: some good points! but Contrarian Expatriate had the best response so far

Posted: February 25th, 2011, 4:02 pm
by S_Parc
Hey fellows, here's a "spiritual" reason against finding a soulmate.

The idea is that if you believe in past lives and trans-migrations, you'd encountered a lot of persons and have developed *issues* which need resolving. The soulmate is a way where the two parties' spirit bodies have fooled their earthly bodies into mating and then, resolve an ancient karma.

I call this the faux belonging issue, please don't fall for it. In particular, don't read any of the pulp trash novels by Richard Bach like 'Bridge Across Forever' or 'One'. He's clearly self-deluded and has no idea what being a complete human being is about. In his monologues, he and his soulmate wife, have been at it for centuries :roll:, basically, they're chained to each other and whenever they don't hook up, they're miserable, sulking human beings. Is that suppose to lead one to enlightenment (ala Buddhism) or Rapture/Awakening of the soul (ala Christian a/o other western traditions)?

I don't think so. If Bach was in fact, traversing across the centuries and not able to find meaningful associations with other women (since the modern American woman is mainly post-1970), then he's a complete loser and needs psychiatric help. And not just for this life.

Posted: March 2nd, 2011, 7:31 am
by Grunt
The structural framework of the female psyche is inherently and irredeemably erratic, and thus may safely be ignored or at the very least deeply discounted.

Any man would better spend his time contemplating his education or financial situation. The only way to understand insanity is to be insane.

Let men be men and women be women. Never the twain shall meet.

Posted: August 27th, 2014, 10:06 am
by jamesbond
Here is a good video explaining to women that "the one" does not exist.