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Arranged marriages

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BellaRuth
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Arranged marriages

Post by BellaRuth » March 19th, 2011, 8:53 pm

Thought this was interesting. Woman from New York lives in India and muses over their culture of having arranged marriages.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ ... da-kennedy

It's almost a repulsive idea to a lot of Westerners, but in theory, it should work. Who knows and loves you more than your parents, and with their life experience, maybe they can pick out a better partner for you than if you solely rely on this 'crush'-type feeling that may well evaporate.

No real point to this being posted, just liked thinking about it and thought maybe someone else would too. Perhaps we have it all backwards in the West?




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fschmidt
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Post by fschmidt » March 20th, 2011, 3:49 am

There is a very nice movie about arranged marriages called Arranged.

gsjackson
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Re: Arranged marriages

Post by gsjackson » March 20th, 2011, 4:32 pm

BellaRuth wrote:Thought this was interesting. Woman from New York lives in India and muses over their culture of having arranged marriages.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ ... da-kennedy

It's almost a repulsive idea to a lot of Westerners, but in theory, it should work. Who knows and loves you more than your parents, and with their life experience, maybe they can pick out a better partner for you than if you solely rely on this 'crush'-type feeling that may well evaporate.

No real point to this being posted, just liked thinking about it and thought maybe someone else would too. Perhaps we have it all backwards in the West?
Of all the blind dates that I have been set up with -- and they have been many -- the one who was least suitable for me and least appealing, by far, was the one that my father fixed me up with.

djfourmoney
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Post by djfourmoney » March 20th, 2011, 8:00 pm

Arranged Marriages inside a culture that's a few thousand years old are generally accepted, but does outrage Western Culture based Women's Groups, but not Ultra Right Wing Groups. As somebody said recently on a show, those that like Sharia law and those of the Political Right in America have MUCH in common, they should agree across the board on many social issues.

But in Western Culture they generally don't work. You're parents may care about you, but might find your views frivolous and that's why its more often stereotyped that when your mother or father set you up with a woman they know she's usually mousy, bookish and demure woman... When was the last time somebody's parents hooked them up with somebody smokin?

Too bad Tiger screwed up, because Parvik gave him the hook up of a lifetime...

S_Parc
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Post by S_Parc » March 21st, 2011, 10:28 pm

Well, it should first be a blind date of sorts, then a type of arrangement where one or both parties are forced into a shotgun arrangement.

If it's a blind date system, then it may in fact work out.

keius
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Post by keius » March 21st, 2011, 11:14 pm

I don't believe arranged marriages work that well. At least when we consider a truly happy marriage. I recall reading an interview over a decade ago about a woman who was in a "happy" arranged marriage because she wasn't
beaten or raped....worked like a horse but not beaten or raped (except for children). She just didn't know any better.

It only works in societies/cultures where people are more accepting of their lot in life. Educated to accept this stuff as the social norm. Or possibly uneducated and unaware of other possibilities.
They expect it, and have no crazy expectations that western nations associate with stupid junk such as freedom. Or they are raised like cows, so they are easily browbeaten into these relationships. Or they are beaten and/or killed if they try to avoid or escape such relationships.

I'm not referring to 'blind dates' but to actual arranged marriages.
And these marriages can suck for a guy as much as it can suck for a woman....though usually much worse for women.
Societies that tend to have arranged marriages are usually those that tend to undervalue women and or treat them badly.

There are exceptions of course :roll: But i'm not going to get into that :wink:

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