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2 tough choices that Asian American men face

For Asian Americans to discuss Asian American issues and topics.

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2 tough choices that Asian American men face

Postby Winston » Mon Jan 07, 2008 5:20 am

An Asian American intellectual in Europe had this to say to my cultural consultant regarding the Asian Americans on Asian Avenue who condemn overseas dating:

"There are vast numbers of Asian-American men who are mentally dysfunctional from their life of ostracism and sexual denial. Instead of seeing the light, they'll claw at the messenger and attempt to silence the truth. They're like that character from The Matrix, who after realizing that he has lived in a mental prison his entire life, actually wants to go back to its safe confines rather than face the harsh reality that lies before him.

Asian-American men face two choices:

1. They can admit that the US has an invisible hierarchy that places Asian men at the bottom of the sexual totem pole - which combined with the inferior mating qualities of American women and the fierce competition amongst eligible men - makes it highly unlikely they'll find quality dating lives in the US except by blind luck (e.g. running into a girlfriend in college and sticking with her no matter).

or

2. They can pretend that the US is the greatest, happiest, and most wonderful nation in the world, a place that has the most beautiful women on earth who give each man an equal opportunity regardless of race or ethnicity. If only they study hard enough, work hard enough, and improve themselves in every way, they'll get the American dream girl.

Most Asian-American men will opt for a variation of option #2. Quite a few will even go so far as say "I'm not attracted to white girls" (as a way to reject white women who they feel are going to reject them anyhow and because they think American "cows" = white women all over the world).

As you've no doubt realized, Asian-American men develop a variety of complexes, angst, and mental defense mechanisms to shield their egos from the brutal truth."
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Jackal » Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:21 pm

Some American white girls would much rather go out with an Asian man than a black man.

One of my sisters likes Asian men if they're at least about 5' 7" or taller. She would never go out with a black guy. She is also a little mentally unbalanced, so unfortunately I can't say that she is proof that quality white girls want Asian men. She might be "settling" now that she is a single, psychotic thirty-something out West. She's nice and normal one moment, but then she instantly gets into a fire-breathing rage over the most trivial things the next moment. She's too unpredictable emotionally for any man to want to put up with her.

My other sister, the kind, mentally balanced one, really hates Asians for some reason and only dates white men. She is now married with kids.
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Sad.

Postby DarkTalay » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:27 am

Guys,


Winston said:

An Asian American intellectual in Europe had this to say to my cultural consultant regarding the Asian Americans on Asian Avenue who condemn overseas dating:

"There are vast numbers of Asian-American men who are mentally dysfunctional from their life of ostracism and sexual denial. Instead of seeing the light, they'll claw at the messenger and attempt to silence the truth. They're like that character from The Matrix, who after realizing that he has lived in a mental prison his entire life, actually wants to go back to its safe confines rather than face the harsh reality that lies before him.



That is a dead-on description of most Asian American men.

I gave up trying to convince my best Asian American male friends( who’ve been dateless for years) to come to Thailand to
find decent women.

Some actually resent me and would rather remain in a miserable state, watching porn sites and dreaming.
:roll:

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Postby momopi » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:36 pm

When you go to sites like Asia Ave, you're dealing with people who have vested interest in maintaining local subscription/membership base. It's like if you go to a local dating site's discussion forum and tell all the guys, they should ditch the women here and go overseas, you'd get a hostile reception.

People like to justify their own actions, even if it's out of laziness. Telling someone that they're a lost cause in the dating field and they should go elsewhere is insulting, even if you're trying to help. A better approach is to say, "dude I got a beach front pad, come over and we'll go scuba diving". That'd get some people off their rears, then you can introduce them to local women on their visit.
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They only beat me once a month!

Postby DarkTalay » Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:31 am

Momi,


People like to justify their own actions, even if it's out of laziness. Telling someone that they're a lost cause in the dating field and they should go elsewhere is insulting, even if you're trying to help. A better approach is to say, "dude I got a beach front pad, come over and we'll go scuba diving". That'd get some people off their rears, then you can introduce them to local women on their visit.


You are sadly correct, I tend to be outraged and even aghast at some of my friend’s situations.

It’s like that joke where a man sees his friend hit himself with a ball-peen hammer and asks why he does so to which his friend replies that it feels so good when he stops it!

But even offering my friends some help(airfare,housing) in exploring their options have been rejected!

I have one friend who’s overweight, still lives at his mom's home and has been date-less for years.
He makes good salary and drives a fancy car.
He plays the nags and loses constantly.
I suggested he save his money and come to Thailand
with me paying the airfare!
I'd show him the sights and introduce him to the nightlife and the girls!
No answer received!

I have another good friend who has been to Southeast Asia and loves it.
He’s talented with a degreed musical background.
He could easily come to Thailand, teach music and play in a club.
He has the financial resources to make his stay a pleasant one.
He has been date-less for years, works at a crappy job with unappreciative management, meets no eligible women due to his social habits and suppresses his misery preferring not to think about his situation.

He told me to stop my constant imploring to escape his misery and come live in Thailand!

I’ve given up, some men are too brain-washed or broken to even think about the possibility of escape they have a nice sunny prison cell, are on the Warden’s trustee list and only get whipped once a month.

Sigh, I just enjoy my life in Thailand with beautiful friendly available girls who act like ladies and a laid-back lifestyle with wonderful food and little stress.
My friends can enjoy their life in the Gulag and fight for table scraps and watch on-line porn.

DarkTalay

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Postby jamesbond » Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:44 am

Wintson said he tried everything he could to meet women in the US and nothing worked! He finally went overseas and that DID work! Sometimes you have to just stop knocking your head up against a brick wall in the country you live in and go visit other countries and try to meet women that way! More and more men in America are doing just that! :D

- Paul
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Clueless "experts"!

Postby DarkTalay » Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:10 pm

Guys,


Paul said:

Winston said he tried everything he could to meet women in the US and nothing worked! He finally went overseas and that DID work! Sometimes you have to just stop knocking your head up against a brick wall in the country you live in and go visit other countries and try to meet women that way! More and more men in America are doing just that!



Finally, a sane thoughtful answer from a man!

The trouble with taking well-meaning friends’ and relationship “expert’sâ€￾ advice is that they are not in your shoes and will never know exactly what you are going through and how effective their tactics are.
Besides those “expertsâ€￾ are just as clueless as the rest of us.
John Gray was a virgin until his late thirties, was divorced from another “expertâ€￾ Barbara De Angelis in 1984 and has suspect credentials:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gray_ ... redentials

Barbara herself is on her fifth marriage!

http://www.wayneandtamara.com/barbaradeangelis.htm

Ellen Fein, author of “The Rulesâ€￾ telling women to play hard-to-get games to win a man filed for divorce:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellen_Fein

IMHO these phonies are merely “relationship pimpsâ€￾ using a carrot and stick technique to sell more books and workshops instead of advising a man how to really succeed in dating.
They don’t take into account the massive social upheavals in the past few decades (Feminism)
And I like a lot of men tried “not tryingâ€￾ to find a woman but being “friendsâ€￾ and “listeningâ€￾ to them with lousy results.
As far as I’m concerned that’s for Gays and meterosexuals.
At some point a man has to set a time to see his efforts show some definite results.
If he isn’t dating, mating and keeping “Mr. Happyâ€￾ happy by that time he has a hard choice.
He can either continue to do the same useless thing
(Going to workshops and listening to clueless “expertsâ€￾) in hopes of a different result or change the game by moving to another country with more female with a more friendly attitude towards heterosexual men.

Living abroad is not perfect but for me and the other expatriates it has worked out fine.

I can walk down the street, smile and tell a pretty girl that she’s beautiful and get a sincere thank you.
I can look at a pretty woman, catch her eye and get smile in return.
I have abundant amounts of GFE (good female energy) and not just from bar-girls!
The Thai females have their problems but they take care of themselves, desire a good man and are ladies.
They like having doors opened and things carried for them.

Can you say the same for most of the women in the States?
I’m the happiest I’ve been in my life, can the rest of you men still in the States honestly say the same?

BTW, I haven’t gotten any PMs or seen any posts in response to mine in relationship to living abroad.
You’d think I’d get some feedback from the men who are tired of being dateless and curious about living abroad!

DarkTalay






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Postby Winston » Fri Apr 25, 2008 6:28 am

momopi wrote:When you go to sites like Asia Ave, you're dealing with people who have vested interest in maintaining local subscription/membership base. It's like if you go to a local dating site's discussion forum and tell all the guys, they should ditch the women here and go overseas, you'd get a hostile reception.

People like to justify their own actions, even if it's out of laziness. Telling someone that they're a lost cause in the dating field and they should go elsewhere is insulting, even if you're trying to help. A better approach is to say, "dude I got a beach front pad, come over and we'll go scuba diving". That'd get some people off their rears, then you can introduce them to local women on their visit.


W: Yeah but most of the people on Asian Ave who debated me were not owners of that site, so they had no vested interest in it right? I thought they were just brainwashed by the politically correct media?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Fri Apr 25, 2008 6:32 am

I've met those American girls who say they like Asian guys, but pretty much all of them made excuses when I asked them out, such as "I'm too busy with work" or "I just came out of a relationship and am not looking for anyone right now" etc.

Dark Talay, do you have any pictures of Thai girls you've met that you can post in this forum?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby momopi » Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:27 pm

WWu777 wrote:W: Yeah but most of the people on Asian Ave who debated me were not owners of that site, so they had no vested interest in it right? I thought they were just brainwashed by the politically correct media?


Sure they do (have vested interest), in justifying their continued presence or subscription to the said web site.


WWu777 wrote:I've met those American girls who say they like Asian guys, but pretty much all of them made excuses when I asked them out, such as "I'm too busy with work" or "I just came out of a relationship and am not looking for anyone right now" etc.


They tend to have very specific preferences, if you didn't fit, you didn't fit. The supply of Asian men in US is also quite limited depending on location.

I had a good friend (WF) who only liked good looking Japanese guys with long hair. She's living in Tokyo right now and really enjoying it. She gets hit on all the time by Asian guys asking her out for tea.
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Postby Winston » Thu May 01, 2008 4:21 pm

WWu777 wrote:W: Yeah but most of the people on Asian Ave who debated me were not owners of that site, so they had no vested interest in it right? I thought they were just brainwashed by the politically correct media?


momopi wrote:Sure they do (have vested interest), in justifying their continued presence or subscription to the said web site.


W: But the forum is free, so how do we know which of the forum posters had a paid subscription to the dating site and which didn't?


WWu777 wrote:I've met those American girls who say they like Asian guys, but pretty much all of them made excuses when I asked them out, such as "I'm too busy with work" or "I just came out of a relationship and am not looking for anyone right now" etc.


momopi wrote:They tend to have very specific preferences, if you didn't fit, you didn't fit. The supply of Asian men in US is also quite limited depending on location.

I had a good friend (WF) who only liked good looking Japanese guys with long hair. She's living in Tokyo right now and really enjoying it. She gets hit on all the time by Asian guys asking her out for tea.


W: Maybe. But most of them were not dating any other Asian guys either. And white girls have told me that I look good compared to mainstream Asian men.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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