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My thoughts on AMBF and why I am generally against it

For Asian Americans to discuss Asian American issues and topics.

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rootlesscosmopolitan
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My thoughts on AMBF and why I am generally against it

Post by rootlesscosmopolitan » August 9th, 2014, 8:27 pm

I stumbled across this tumblr and it got me thinking about my feelings on the matter:

http://blackwomenasianmen.tumblr.com/

Now I have dated black girls before, and I am fairly attracted to both black women's personalities and looks; however within the past few years I have slowly started to reevaluate my thoughts on interracial dating with black women. In essence my views are actually pretty simple. From my perspective it seems as though the media tries to portray AFWM a lot, so in a way, the media/society is almost "gifting" white men with asian women, and taking asian women away from asian men. As we also know, the majority of white women will not date an asian guy either. So as a result, the SMV of asian men is fairly low, in fact our SMV is almost as low as black women in america. Because of this, black women are the only ones who are consistently open to asian men. (just my own personal experience, could be totally wrong about this!) In other words, imagine society as embodied by a douchey liberal white guy pretty much saying:

"hey asian bro, I'm gonna take your women ok? But hey man, its totally cool, you can just hook up with black chicks instead, we are all one race anyways!!!!"

So pretty much society not only takes our women away from us but also gives us a consolation prize of getting access to group of women who I do not find nearly as attractive as my own race's women. (like I said, im fairly attracted to black women, but I am vastly more attracted to asian women over black women and even white women.) So to me, having a black girlfriend is pretty much conceding defeat, and condoning AFWM. This is why I won't date a black chick, not necessarily because of anything wrong with black women themselves but more so because of what such a pairing represents. (defeat and pretty much openly conceding my own low SMV. Think of it as similar to how white guys look when they walk around with asian gfs.)

What is your alls opinion on this? Also I want to add that this post isn't perfect, and its intended to be understood in a more theoretical sense. I mean yeah, in reality its not as if all asian american women are with white dudes and that all asian american men are only allowed to date black women, however I do feel like my observation still rings true on a general level.
Last edited by rootlesscosmopolitan on August 10th, 2014, 7:47 am, edited 3 times in total.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Post by Contrarian Expatriate » August 9th, 2014, 11:43 pm

That is strange that you consider dating black women (who you find attractive) defeat. So is dating an Asian woman victory and a white one a draw? Instead of seeing these in terms of victory and defeat, try dating people who meet your individual needs. If you know black women cannot fulfill your needs, welcome to the club.
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Cornfed
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Post by Cornfed » August 9th, 2014, 11:58 pm

There is also the obvious physical risk of keeping dangerous feral animals as pets without having the proper facilities.

rootlesscosmopolitan
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Post by rootlesscosmopolitan » August 10th, 2014, 12:02 am

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:That is strange that you consider dating black women (who you find attractive) defeat. So is dating an Asian woman victory and a white one a draw? Instead of seeing these in terms of victory and defeat, try dating people who meet your individual needs. If you know black women cannot fulfill your needs, welcome to the club.


may I ask your race? I get the feeling you are not asian.

You need to work on your reading comprehension bud, I said I find black women fairly (as in somewhat) attractive, but I am much much more attracted to asian women. And one of the major reasons that I see dating a black woman as defeat is because I would rather date a woman and not end up becoming a walking billboard for interracial dating. That's how I view AMBW btw, its pretty much a gimmick. "Oh lets become an unusual mixed race couple and raise some serious eyebrows!" Sorry but im not interested in making a political statement with my lovelife, I would much rather keep a low profile with someone of my own race.

Don't preach to me how I should think, I mean you can't even address the main points of what I wrote. Do you have to agree with what I say? Nope. But the points I bring up are cogent enough, but its obvious you don't want real dialogue on this issue, you only want to try to talk shit.

rootlesscosmopolitan
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Post by rootlesscosmopolitan » August 10th, 2014, 12:07 am

Cornfed wrote:There is also the obvious physical risk of keeping dangerous feral animals as pets without having the proper facilities.


I have read lots of your posts here and I can't tell if you're a troll or not. Assuming you are not trolling, I will say this. While you are entitled to your view, I do think your comment is a bit harsh. In my experience black women are usually very friendly to me, so for the most part I respect them (the ones I have met anyways), I just won't date them for political reasons as outlined above.

MrMan
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Post by MrMan » August 10th, 2014, 12:13 am

If you have a good job in America and get an Asian woman of your ancestors, might you not be considered a good catch? It depends on the country, but in some countries an Asian of the same race living in the west is desirable. I don't know of a country where it would be a real hindrance unless you are talking about Iran or other countries that are technically Asian that don't have good diplomatic relationships with the US.

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Post by fightforlove » August 10th, 2014, 12:15 am

Real simple solution to your problem: don't date black women, or white women, or any other kind of woman you don't want to date. If you want asian women, date only asian women. As an asian male, you have the upper hand with asian women.

rootlesscosmopolitan
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Post by rootlesscosmopolitan » August 10th, 2014, 12:16 am

MrMan wrote:If you have a good job in America and get an Asian woman of your ancestors, might you not be considered a good catch? It depends on the country, but in some countries an Asian of the same race living in the west is desirable. I don't know of a country where it would be a real hindrance unless you are talking about Iran or other countries that are technically Asian that don't have good diplomatic relationships with the US.


I don't exactly catch your drift, can you elaborate a little bit more?

rootlesscosmopolitan
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Post by rootlesscosmopolitan » August 10th, 2014, 12:19 am

fightforlove wrote:Real simple solution to your problem: don't date black women, or white women, or any other kind of woman you don't want to date. If you want asian women, date only asian women. As an asian male, you have the upper hand with asian women.


lmao, hey dumbass, I was never asking for a solution to my "problem". Read what I wrote again. I was asking for opinions about what people think about my view. Seriously read very carefully what I wrote again, I am not telling anybody else what to do, I am merely giving my perspective about a certain situation, and then outlining why I think the way that I do. Is that a crime?

Contrarian Expatriate
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Post by Contrarian Expatriate » August 10th, 2014, 2:10 am

rootlesscosmopolitan wrote:
Contrarian Expatriate wrote:That is strange that you consider dating black women (who you find attractive) defeat. So is dating an Asian woman victory and a white one a draw? Instead of seeing these in terms of victory and defeat, try dating people who meet your individual needs. If you know black women cannot fulfill your needs, welcome to the club.


may I ask your race? I get the feeling you are not asian.

You need to work on your reading comprehension bud, I said I find black women fairly (as in somewhat) attractive, but I am much much more attracted to asian women. And one of the major reasons that I see dating a black woman as defeat is because I would rather date a woman and not end up becoming a walking billboard for interracial dating. That's how I view AMBW btw, its pretty much a gimmick. "Oh lets become an unusual mixed race couple and raise some serious eyebrows!" Sorry but im not interested in making a political statement with my lovelife, I would much rather keep a low profile with someone of my own race.

Don't preach to me how I should think, I mean you can't even address the main points of what I wrote. Do you have to agree with what I say? Nope. But the points I bring up are cogent enough, but its obvious you don't want real dialogue on this issue, you only want to try to talk shit.


I'm not sure where your defensiveness if coming from, but take a step back and relax.

I understood your post quite well. If you find black women fairly attractive, you still "find them attractive," regardless of the degree. Also, you specifically asked for our opinions about your post. And my opinion is that you should be ultimately concerned with a woman that fulfills your needs, regardless of her race, PERIOD. All the extra considerations about making political statements and being a walking billboard suggests that you are less interested in your own personal fulfillment than the perception it creates. The bottom line is be with who you want, regardless of others' perceptions. If you want an Asian girl, find an Asian girl.

When you post on this forum, people will chime in so get used to it. If you get offended as easily as you did on this thread, that might be something you need to adjust.
Feel free to visit my sites and to leave your respected words of wisdom:

http://thedeclineofmyamerica.blogspot.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/ContrarianExpatriate

Taco
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Post by Taco » August 10th, 2014, 2:21 am

African women have much milder personalities than black women from western countries. However, I do not recommend dating Nigerian women.

Chinese Men With African Wives
http://www.chinasmack.com/2011/pictures ... wives.html

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E Irizarry R&B Singer
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Post by E Irizarry R&B Singer » August 10th, 2014, 2:56 am

Taco wrote:African women have much milder personalities than black women from western countries. However, I do not recommend dating Nigerian women.

Chinese Men With African Wives
http://www.chinasmack.com/2011/pictures ... wives.html


Some of them look awkward, some of them look very compatible with one another. Regardless of what I'm saying, as long as they are happy with one another......
A lot of Chinese people clowning in the posts, too.
It's time to expatriate to evade your fate; it's time to expatriate before the barn door permanently closes on "US" sheep.
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rootlesscosmopolitan
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Post by rootlesscosmopolitan » August 10th, 2014, 3:01 am

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
rootlesscosmopolitan wrote:
Contrarian Expatriate wrote:That is strange that you consider dating black women (who you find attractive) defeat. So is dating an Asian woman victory and a white one a draw? Instead of seeing these in terms of victory and defeat, try dating people who meet your individual needs. If you know black women cannot fulfill your needs, welcome to the club.


may I ask your race? I get the feeling you are not asian.

You need to work on your reading comprehension bud, I said I find black women fairly (as in somewhat) attractive, but I am much much more attracted to asian women. And one of the major reasons that I see dating a black woman as defeat is because I would rather date a woman and not end up becoming a walking billboard for interracial dating. That's how I view AMBW btw, its pretty much a gimmick. "Oh lets become an unusual mixed race couple and raise some serious eyebrows!" Sorry but im not interested in making a political statement with my lovelife, I would much rather keep a low profile with someone of my own race.

Don't preach to me how I should think, I mean you can't even address the main points of what I wrote. Do you have to agree with what I say? Nope. But the points I bring up are cogent enough, but its obvious you don't want real dialogue on this issue, you only want to try to talk shit.


I'm not sure where your defensiveness if coming from, but take a step back and relax.

I understood your post quite well. If you find black women fairly attractive, you still "find them attractive," regardless of the degree. Also, you specifically asked for our opinions about your post. And my opinion is that you should be ultimately concerned with a woman that fulfills your needs, regardless of her race, PERIOD. All the extra considerations about making political statements and being a walking billboard suggests that you are less interested in your own personal fulfillment than the perception it creates. The bottom line is be with who you want, regardless of others' perceptions. If you want an Asian girl, find an Asian girl.

When you post on this forum, people will chime in so get used to it. If you get offended as easily as you did on this thread, that might be something you need to adjust.


Once again, I will ask you what your race is. If you are not asian, then some of the things I mentioned pretty much have no significance towards you, so of course you will fail to understand why it is that I feel the way that I do. I'll try to explain it to you in this way. I oppose the asian male bashing AFWM promoting media, and I will do everything possible to opt out of that system and not play by their rules. In my eyes, settling for a black woman when I would actually prefer an asian woman but can't easily get one is pretty much having my desires co-opted by this anti asian male agenda. Does that make any sense to you? So in a way, I am going my own way and won't let my decisions be blindly shaped by the media or this system.

I'm not offended at anything, I just disliked the slightly snarky and condescending tone of your original comment, as well as the fact that you failed to address anything in my OP in your original comment. There's nothing I need to adjust, perhaps it is you who should adjust your approach.
Last edited by rootlesscosmopolitan on August 10th, 2014, 3:24 am, edited 4 times in total.

rootlesscosmopolitan
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Post by rootlesscosmopolitan » August 10th, 2014, 3:08 am

Taco wrote:African women have much milder personalities than black women from western countries. However, I do not recommend dating Nigerian women.

Chinese Men With African Wives
http://www.chinasmack.com/2011/pictures ... wives.html


I think that when it comes to being an asian man in africa itself and dating african women I don't have as much as an issue with that. I mean who else are you going to date if you're asian in africa? My only issue is AMBF in america and this is due to the socio-cultural context, like I said I pretty much feel that black women are a consolation prize to asian men in america for white men taking asian women. Could I be mistaken or paranoid? Yes, that is a possibility; but with my current understanding, I believe that my theory is more or less correct. (of course I'm open to adjusting my view as I come across new experiences and information.)

Those are some interesting pictures. This one really cracked me up though:

http://i1.wp.com/www.chinasmack.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/chinese-man-with-black-african-women-13.jpg?zoom=1.5&resize=560%2C746

A Shandong migrant worker who married a wife in Africa and gave birth to a daughter. His African wife passing away from illness when the daughter was two-years-old and he raises his daughter alone planting vegetables in the suburbs of Nairobi being bother father and mother to her. Not easy! What a great Shandong man! A great Chinese man!


Can you say major cuckold? hahahaha
Last edited by rootlesscosmopolitan on August 10th, 2014, 3:11 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Cornfed
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Post by Cornfed » August 10th, 2014, 3:09 am

rootlesscosmopolitan wrote:
Cornfed wrote:There is also the obvious physical risk of keeping dangerous feral animals as pets without having the proper facilities.


I have read lots of your posts here and I can't tell if you're a troll or not. Assuming you are not trolling, I will say this. While you are entitled to your view, I do think your comment is a bit harsh. In my experience black women are usually very friendly to me, so for the most part I respect them (the ones I have met anyways), I just won't date them for political reasons as outlined above.

Would it make sense to think it was safe to play with rattlesnakes because none of them had bitten you yet? If you watch TV programs about real life crimes, a lot of the victims bring it on themselves by associating with blacks as if they were people. The shows seem to focus on attacks committed by bucks, but I imagine that sheboons are just as bad.

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