I'm not denying what you say, but still I don't think there's a reason to be so blunt about it.Cornfed wrote:Would it make sense to think it was safe to play with rattlesnakes because none of them had bitten you yet? If you watch TV programs about real life crimes, a lot of the victims bring it on themselves by associating with blacks as if they were people. The shows seem to focus on attacks committed by bucks, but I imagine that sheboons are just as bad.rootlesscosmopolitan wrote:I have read lots of your posts here and I can't tell if you're a troll or not. Assuming you are not trolling, I will say this. While you are entitled to your view, I do think your comment is a bit harsh. In my experience black women are usually very friendly to me, so for the most part I respect them (the ones I have met anyways), I just won't date them for political reasons as outlined above.Cornfed wrote:There is also the obvious physical risk of keeping dangerous feral animals as pets without having the proper facilities.
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I can only say, this is the usual racist BS-talk from USA.
I am not from USA, but from Europe, living in Asia, white man with Asian wife. I am open to all races, it's not even anything for me to consider worth a discussion.
We have to see it in 2 ways
1 - People within USA, they are Asian Americans, African-Americans, Caucasian Americans, etc. etc. it's only about their origin, but simply said, they are all living in USA. Some like each other, some do not. Nobody is forcing you to date all races - and if you don't like it and prefer to be alone, nobody can force you to date at all. Up to you. Some are open to all races, some are not. And, what is the problem?
2 - Africans and Asians, living in Africa and Asia are a totally different matter. These are people living in different countries, and many Africans and Asian intermarry since centuries and nobody says a word about it.
as usual, your aspergers like inability to countenance that race is actually a valid concept to consider when it comes to socializing makes your input on my OP pretty much useless. Yes I did ask for people's input, however I was anticipating that people would actually talk about the main topic that I was discussing, as opposed to trying to meta-analyze my post and tell me why what I'm saying must be wrong/immoral/mean etc. Now, if people understand the point of my post, and why I feel the way that I do, and wish to critique the points I bring up whether they agree or disagree with them then I FULLY welcome that, however people such as yourself are unable to discuss the post itself because you lack the ability to entertain perspectives outside of your own. I told you already that you're hopelessly myopic and can't seem to realize that other people have different (valid) experiences that you are blissfully unaware of. Really just get over yourself and your colorblind bullshit.
Your first point is stupid and I'm going to tell you why. First of all, I already acknowledged that nobody was being forced 100% to date interracially. I openly stated that my OP was intended to be interpreted as THEORETICAL and GENERALIZED in nature NOT literally. Secondly, the entire thread revolved around my nuanced feelings regarding black women and why in spite of me liking them, I decline to date them due to entirely valid socio-political reasons. You are under the false impression that I do not date black women simply because they are black, but because you are autistic and lack reading comprehension, the entire point of my post went completely over your head.
I don't know about your second point. I didn't really bring that up, somebody else did, but I have already written my opinions on the matter and I stated that I don't really care about AMBF happening in africa. My opinion towards that is benign/neutral and largely because AMBF in that situation lacks the toxic racial-social context that exists in the united states.
Last edited by rootlesscosmopolitan on August 10th, 2014, 7:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
My opinion is that you obviously have some problems/insecurities, and you're wasting your breath coming into this forum and ranting about your dating policies. It is a good policy to not date women you're not attracted to. But who cares about what women you don't want to date or what the media is trying to sell you?? Why allow your life to be shaped by opposition of what you perceive society to be forcing you to do? You're only bringing yourself more stress by taking this sort of approach to dating.
As a White man, I cannot fully understand the disparities that Asian men deal with, but these are my observations, fwiw. There is some negative stereotyping of asian males in the media, I hear you on that; but it's not a major issue let alone a full-blown "anti-asian male agenda". There is, loosely speaking, an agenda against males in general in America, but a specific agenda against AMs? I highly doubt that. I don't think anyone is trying to promote a WM-AF agenda either. If anything, white men who date asian women are also at risk of some negative stereotyping, of tainting themselves with the "yellow fever" connotation. I have several Asian male friends who do really well with Asian women and I've also personally known several asian males who successfully dated/married white women. My good high school friend of Chinese descent married a white woman from Oklahoma. OKLAHOMA. Also had an Asian co-worker who was really into black women, so he married a black woman, signed, sealed and delivered. Maybe it's just the crowd that I roll with. One thing that all these guys probably had in common was not having defensive dating policies for "political reasons". I realize this may sound gratuitous, but seriously, stop over-thinking things and get out and meet some women, whatever kind you fancy.
LOL, ok I have some problems/insecurities/etc. Yeah, your reasoning would be valid if I had posted this in the general forum, but for some reason you seem to have forgotten what subforum I posted this in. Its called the "asian american issues" subforum. This subforum deals with asian american issues, so yes my "rant" about my dating policies and how they are influenced by socio-cultural factors pertaining to media representation of asian americans is very much relevant to this forum. I can't believe you didn't think about that. In your rush to judgment and to condemn me you ended up forgetting the most basic fundamentals of the situation. Also i want to add that asians complaining about manipulative media representation is pretty common on this forum, why don't you go lecture them as well? Its funny how you are so cavalier about the issue of the media being involved in social engineering when it involves a topic that doesn't affect you. Anyways, sorry bud but I'm quite happy with my current approach to dating. While my effort probably won't change a damn thing, it does make me feel better nonetheless, and isn't that the point you are trying to get across anyways? Do what makes me feel good? Besides, I am by no means starved for p***y, so its not about me just trying to get more dates and more p***y by being less picky when it comes to dating. I mean, you know there are some things out there that are more important than just getting p***y. You know that right?
No, there is an agenda against the best interests of males and females in america, the mass media machine also negatively affects/depicts all races of people in this country whether they be black, white or yellow. In short, there is a specific agenda again asian males, white males and black males, but there is different propaganda directed towards each group. And yes, WMAF is definitely being promoted and if you can't see it then you're just being dense. Also I want to add that, WMAF is just one cog in the race mixing propaganda that is put out by the media. The media also enjoys trying to push the BMWF meme as well. In short the media (actually its owners) are purposely trying to cause fissures and divisions along racial and gender lines. Of course thats an entirely different topic.
did you read that? Nowhere did I state that I think that all asian women are going for white men or that all asian men are being forced to pair with black women. This thread is intended to be more of a generalized observation, and I stated that from the get go. Again, you should probably work on your reading comprehension.
If you give to everybody replies like this one above after asking them for their opinion, I wonder who is suffering of aspergers and who is autistic.
If you don't want to date black women (black women from where? From which countries?) despite you like them but explain this is because of 'entirely valid socio-political reasons' (any example or explanation from you what this could mean?) - so what? The answer is easy, don't date them. Nobody is forcing you to date black women in USA or elsewhere.
Are you sure you are not posting your comments in the wrong forum?
This forum is about 'HappierAbroad' and is totally open-minded for relocation to countries with people of different race, it is also open-minded to promote any international interracial relationship.
Many members of this forum - not only me - are interested into sex&fun or long-term relationship with females worldwide, regardless if Latinas in South America, or black women in Western Africa or Carribian region or Asian girls in Philippines or China etc. etc. - To be colorblind and open to all races is actually a nice thing, what's wrong with that?
Last edited by Yohan on August 10th, 2014, 10:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
LOL the answer is in the OP. Like I said, you didn't bother reading it, and furthermore you continue to miss the entire point of the post to begin with. I think I should remind you that this post is directed towards an asian american audience. Does this mean that non-asian americans aren't supposed to read it? Of course not. But don't act surprised or judgmental when much of what is written here goes against your values or whatever, or you're unable to quite grasp what is being discussed. You're not asian american, you don't have the same experiences as me, so things that I care about, you probably wouldn't care about and vice versa, is that so hard to understand?
Further proof that you don't pay any attention to anything at all. This following quote is from the top of this website:
Warning: This forum operates on the principles of truth, free speech and freethought without politically correct censorship
Do you understand what that means? Furthermore, let me remind you that you are in the asian american issues subforum, and this subforum has to do with ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES. You act like im going all over this forum spamming anti-interracial dating threads. This is clearly not the case. If you don't care for my thoughts on this issue then why dont you just not read my threads? Afterall, you said you don't care about race or anything, so why are you so concerned with what goes on with asian americans? technically "asian" americans don't even exist by your logic, right??
And so what? I am quite familiar with Asian American/Asian European issues. My son in law is Asian-American, his father is Asian-American, his mother is Asian-Canadian (Hawaii, SF, Vancouver), my daughters are 50/50 European/Asian, my wife is Asian and the only white person, this is myself but living in Asia among Asians.
Nobody of our family members ever had any race-issues, not in Europe, not in Asia and not in Northern America.
Compared to religion (especially between Christians, Muslims and Hindus) the race-issue is by far less significant.
If somebody comes up with racist remarks because you are Asian American and she is African American, the only what you can do about is to ignore such people.
What do you mean? I don't get it, honestly. Why should this apply only to you and not to me?
My message is quite clear - get over all this racist BS in USA, and why is it wrong to say that? And if you cannot find a suitable date in USA, look for a date somewhere else, beyond the US-territory - check out HappierAbroad how to do that.
This forum was not created by WinstonWu to support racist BS-talk, but more about how to overcome it by travelling abroad for sex&fun or for a long-term relationship with foreign women of any race - Russians, Filipinas, Latinas etc. etc.
Last edited by Yohan on August 10th, 2014, 2:20 pm, edited 3 times in total.
I am confident, this forum will prove your conclusion is plainly wrong.
Many members of this forum consider dating American women, any race, as time-waste.
This argument about 'white men are stealing our women' etc. exists only in USA, but it is the first time I hear that 'black women' might be the 'consolation prize' to Asian men because white men taking Asian women.
Asian Americans are living only in a few areas in USA, like Seattle, SF, New York and they are only 6 percent of the entire population including Indians, Pakistani etc. - Honestly, for white men there are not many Asian American girls to take away from Asian American men in USA.
You say, you are 'Asian American' - Chinese? Korean? Filipino? Japanese?
It's easy for most Asian Americans who know still their origin and can speak the language of their parents and grandparents to get on an airplane and to date girls from their own native country.
Why not? Many Chinese women still prefer to date a Chinese man, including an overseas Chinese.
Korean men often look for a foreign (but Asian) wife, Japanese men do the same, regardless if they are living in Korea or Japan or outside of their own country. Same with men from Taiwan, the argument that only white men are stealing Asian women does not apply here in Asia at all.
Vietnamese men in USA are often looking for a woman living in Vietnam. Asian-American men from India do not like to marry outside their own race, they will hardly date any black woman, they will contact relatives and friends who are living in India. etc. etc.
Simply said, to look for Asian girls in USA does not make sense. If you want to date an Asian girl you have to go to Asia.
yeah and you're still wrong. According to you, because nobody you know ever experienced racism (like they would probably ever tell you their actual thoughts anyways) it must not exist. You claim that nobody you have ever met or ever known ever experienced racism ever. Seriously, get over yourself. You're not convincing anybody here. Why should I listen to some white guy lecture me on racism? What's funnier is the fact that there's a subforum for asian american issues on this forum, which shows that apparently other asian americans also feel like there needs to be a platform for talking about our issues. Wow, so I guess this racism that's not supposed to exist actually exists! Sorry yohan but just because you have an asian wife, half asian kids, and haved lived in asia around asians for a long time doesn't make you an expert on racism or lack thereof, let alone the asian american experience. I don't pretend to be an expert on situations that I have no experience in, so why do you persist in doing so?
I'm still amazed at how stupid you sound:
what's not to get? Where did I ever tell you to stop posting at this forum? Oh wait thats right, I never did! But can you say the same? (NOPE) Winston's policy on freespeech applies to everyone both you and me, stop playing dumb and acting like I'm trying to suppress your right to freespeech LOL.
my message to you is clear, stop caring what I think. You be happy doing you, and I'll do me. If I want to care about racism or whatever then so what? Why do you care so much what I think? And for the record, there's nothing wrong with you saying your opinion, but the definition of freespeech doesn't preclude me from having an opinion about your opinion.
Also, this thread was never about not being able to find a date. If that was so, I would have posted it in a different section. This thread is to air out a general observation of mine to an asian american audience. Would other asian americans agree with my observation? Maybe, and maybe not, but that's the point, at least they would be talking about/discussing the topic of my thread. This thread is NOT about finding dates and getting p***y, it goes beyond that. Which you should know if you had an ounce of reading comprehension and wasn't so quick to judge and try to preach your silly views.
Regarding Winston Wu, I cannot speak for him, however I am familiar with his website and he claims to have a wide range of interests, so no, while this forum and website is nominally about dating abroad, that is not its only focus. If that were the case then this forum would not have subforums devoted to talking SPECIFICALLY ABOUT RACE. Seriously, this is why I can't respect you, you can't even get the base f***ing fundamentals right. You are totally blind! sheesh
I can actually respect this post of yours because at least you sort of make an attempt to actually talk about my thread topic itself. That being said, you are still slightly missing the point. This thread isn't directly talking about dating, or me not being able to get an asian gf, or any gf for that matter. This thread is intended to be understood as my observation of underlying socio-racial dynamics in america, nothing more and nothing less. If I wanted to talk about my own personal dating issues I would have worded this thread differently and posted it in another forum.
Regarding the part in the bold, you reveal your lack of experience in the US with that quote. While its true that asian american women may be numerically small population wise, that doesn't mean that a large percentage of them aren't not dating white guys. Even if there were only 10 asian american women total in america and 6 of them were dating white guys then that would still qualify as the majority of asian american women dating white guys even though their total share of the population is relatively small.
Furthermore, the true meaning of what I say becomes much more clear if you check out that tumblr. Most of those guys are clearly dating down in terms of attractiveness. I have a hard time believing those guys would be dating those girls if they actually had options. (options which are largely being taken by white guys. I'm not hurt about it btw, just telling it like I see it.) That being said there are some asian guys out there who could get girls from any race but choose to go after black women, well for guys like that, this thread isn't really about them, and furthermore I respect their relationship. This thread is pretty much about asian american guys who for lack of options (due to a shrinking pool of asian american women willing to date them) end up dating black women. As an asian american (chinese btw), my experience is that I have no problem getting dates with black women (if I so choose), but its much much harder to get a date with an asian american woman. For me, I resent the invisible hand of society/dating market that is pretty much forcing me to settle. Thus instead of settling for an abundant dating life with black women, I choose to be single until I can find a romantic partner more to my liking. In other words, once I became aware of the racial dynamics with regards to dating in america, I became resentful at AMBF because I pretty much realized that in many cases its not a matter of true love, but rather a matter of asian american men not having any other options. (this of course is a broad generalization, but like I said, it contains a grain of truth)
One other thing I want to add is that AMBF is not numerically a large phenomena, and I recognize that. I am not denying that at all. What I am saying though is that the relatively low numbers of AMBF is not for lack of trying on behalf of BF. This year alone I have had many black women come on to me, but obviously I didn't accept. I strongly suspect that many other asian american guys share my experience, thus thats why I created this thread because I was curious about their experiences. Lastly, I want to say that I don't think the pressure for AMBF is a calculated agenda necessarily (but it could be), rather its just the end result of the "invisible hand" at work in the US dating market with regards to the desirability of different races. I accept that as an asian american male, for whatever reasons, my SMV is quite low, but that still doesn't mean I'm just going to give up and settle for whatever I can get.
As a Korean American, I can understand your anger, rootlesscosmopolitan. But trying to fix the racial situation in the West for Asian men, will never happen. Just forget about it! And forget about trying to fix Asian women as well; most are hypergamous and self-hating, so you won't be able to do much to change the situation...
As for your other points: White males will never understand what it is like being an angry, fed-up Asian man. But, the HA posters are right: Stop complaining and travel abroad!
Trust me. That's what I did living in China, and all those pent-up frustrations and anger will dissipate once you go overseas...You will find Asian women who are loyal to--and love--Asian men. So the message from me to you is: go and live in Asia!
And Contrarian Expatriate is a Black American, so there's no need to jump on him, rootlesscosmopolitan. He and the other Black posters here understand our situation, much more so than the White posters on the forum. So, most of them are on 'our' side...
I appreciate your response because as you stated, you understand where I am coming from. The rest of the people posting in this thread pretty much ignore the reasons WHY I feel the way that I do, and just assume I'm trying to shit on black women, and subsequently try to lecture me on how bad I am. I mean of course its easy to be cavalier about asian american guys having shit dating options in america due to the rampant AFWM if you're a white guy who is unaffected by the situation anyways. That's what blows my mind about some of these responses I have been getting, I posted this freaking thread in the asian american issues because its completely relevant to this subforum, yet the people that are trying to shit on the thread aren't even asian american, don't know what its like and yet they think they can boldly comment on what I am doing wrong.
But yeah, regarding your advice to travel abroad, there are no disagreements here. Its a good idea, but the point of my thread here is that I just wanted to start up a dialogue about this issue and see how other asian americans feel about AMBF, and how its connected to the bigger picture, etc.
Regarding contrarian expatriate, I suppose the jury is still out on him from my point of view. Its true that as a minority he can better understand our issues as asian americans, but still, black americans have different issues than asian americans do. I feel like in this thread, he is either unwilling or unable to understand to understand why I feel the way that I feel. Do I think that contrarian expatriate should care about my feelings? No. But if he's going to bother posting in my thread, which I specifically posted in the asian american subforum, then he should at least try to understand what the post is getting at as opposed to just mindlessly passing judgment without actually considering what I am saying.