Happier Abroad Forum Community

Momopi,
Why is it that Taiwanese parents, including my own, like to make you feel weak and unconfident, and instill fear in you of your enemies or those you have a conflict with?

It's very odd. I ask my parents this and they have no logical answer. It's in their instinct.

Like you said, negative reinforcement is how people are conditioned here.

Every time my parents talk down to me, there's like this hypnotic energy from them that tries to make me feel weak, unconfident, and guilty. Why is that? Is it intentional?

It seems so illogical.

Also, like someone posted in the 14 differences between chinese and japanese women, the chinese teach their family to FEAR their enemies or anyone they have a conflict with. Is that stupid or what? Why should one always live in fear of their enemies, especially if they are in the right? Isn't it better to be strong and stand up to them?

Yet my parents, in EVERY conflict I have with anyone, attempt to make me FEAR them and what they could do to me, as though yielding to conflict and giving in is always the best choice, even when I am in the right.

Why do they do that? Is it a Chinese thing? What logic is it based on?

Why not teach you to be brave, courageous, and stand up for yourself and what's right, and especially against bad people?

What I hate is that when they instill fear and weakness in you, it's almost hypnotic, like a form of mind control. You can brush it off. But you will still feel its effects on your psyche - FEAR, WEAKNESS, GUILT

I hate it. Why don't they not do that? It's very infuriating and does not serve any good purpose! Why do they like living in fear so much? It's so stupid.

Winston wrote:Momopi,
Why is it that Taiwanese parents, including my own, like to make you feel weak and unconfident, and instill fear in you of your enemies or those you have a conflict with?

It's very odd. I ask my parents this and they have no logical answer. It's in their instinct.

Taiwan is an island of 23 million people the size of as large Chinese PRC city, formed by the fleeing Nationalist Government in 1949 and considered a rogue province of Mainland China. They are not recognised by the UN or USA, China wants to forcibly re-integrate it back into the PRC as an SAR (during which time, no doubt, the offspring of well-known Nationalists will be tried and convincted and lose property).

And you still ask why you are made to have fear of your enemies during conflict when THE major enemy of Taiwanese for 61 years has been the PRC with a population 60X that of TW?

Winston wrote:Momopi,
Why is it that Taiwanese parents, including my own, like to make you feel weak and unconfident, and instill fear in you of your enemies or those you have a conflict with?

There are 2 faces. There's one face that is shown to the children to whack their heads down to produce obedient kids who'd get a job and give their parents 1/2 their paycheck, live at home and take care of their parents unto death. Unlike America, where parents give their kids wings and end up rotting in old people's home and pissing into their diapers with the nurse ignoring the call button, Taiwanese parents want their kids to humble and bow their heads to beg for a loan from their parents for downpayment on a house, which the parents would graciously agree on condition that they move in too.

And then there's the other face, that they show when they decide to get territorial with a competitor, and the fangs come out. Taiwanese people don't like to get into fights, but when they do, they're not very civil about it. Don't expect people to reason with you when they can just ask a few buddies with lots of tattoos to beat the crap out of you. Look to Taiwan's government for excellent role models:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY68au9R ... re=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voJ9c0BK ... re=related

And political commentators:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZjOh4Rl ... re=related

So why do Chinese/Taiwanese teach you to fear everyone you have a conflict with? For what reason? Even if I'm in the right and am stronger than my opponent, TW parents still tell you to back down and yield.

Why? Based on what logic?

Why must TW live in a state of being of fear all the time? It vibrates in their bones. I can feel it in their aura when they are around me, a complete fear vibration.

Why? Is it genetic or learned? Or both?

When my parents repress me, it's like it is subconscious. They don't consciously choose to repress you. It's a subconscious thing. They aren't even aware of it.

That's one thing I hate about TW culture. I keep feeling this big negative energy of fear, contraction and repression. Something keeps trying to CONTRACT me here. It's hard to describe in words. But it makes me sick and doesn't allow me to be my natural self. I hate it!

Winston wrote:So why do Chinese/Taiwanese teach you to fear everyone you have a conflict with? For what reason? Even if I'm in the right and am stronger than my opponent, TW parents still tell you to back down and yield.
Why? Based on what logic?

First, how parents raise their kids is their business, same as how you raise your kid is your business and nobody else's. I have an aunt who taught her kids that they're only allowed to get into fights at school if they won the fight. If they beat someone else up it's OK, but if they got beat up, then she'd beat them up again at home. I don't agree with her and think it's folly to fight for the sake of fighting, but that's her business and not mine.

Second, back in college I asked one of my professors, who came from military background and worked for IBM, what was the best way to engage the enemy. He replied, "a mile away, from a concealed position, with a sniper rifle pointed at your opponent's back", and "an AK-47 may be primitive, but if it shoots you in the head, you're still dead".

Third, some day, if I have kids and they asked me the same question, I'd reply "call for for air strike, then finish them off with an artillery barrage", and "if your opponent brings a sword, you pack a grenade launcher and f*ck them up."

the type of parent you refer to is more prevalent in hk, and tw. the mainland went through a cultural revolution, and got rid of alot of the idiotic, backward thoughts and ideas still held by taiwanese, and hongers. one of the reasons your parents made you feel fear, and weakness may be to maintain harmony within the society. if people felt fearless and strong, this leads to a chaotic society like what you see in the west, where people are shooting each other. Chinese people are alot less likely to argue and fight with each other, particularly in public. by the way, taiwan IS a rogue province, and the mainland is a perceived enemy. if the mainland were truly an enemy of taiwan, it would be using the terorist tactics that the u.s is deploying in Syria right now, and formenting regime change. there's alot more reason to believe that taiwan is an enemy of the mainland. i know the taiwan mindset well, and taiwanese love to stir up trouble between the mainland and taiwan.

ALIBABA wrote:the type of parent you refer to is more prevalent in hk, and tw. the mainland went through a cultural revolution, and got rid of alot of the idiotic, backward thoughts and ideas still held by taiwanese, and hongers. one of the reasons your parents made you feel fear, and weakness may be to maintain harmony within the society. if people felt fearless and strong, this leads to a chaotic society like what you see in the west, where people are shooting each other. Chinese people are alot less likely to argue and fight with each other, particularly in public. by the way, taiwan IS a rogue province, and the mainland is a perceived enemy. if the mainland were truly an enemy of taiwan, it would be using the terorist tactics that the u.s is deploying in Syria right now, and formenting regime change. there's alot more reason to believe that taiwan is an enemy of the mainland. i know the taiwan mindset well, and taiwanese love to stir up trouble between the mainland and taiwan.

AMEN! That's what I been saying all these times. The hardline "Asian parents" are not only more prevalent in Hk and Taiwan, but also more prevalent in the Asians in America in general. Asians have more common sense to realize bullshit than that. Sometimes I feel that the West in fact counted on these "Asian ways" so that way they'll keep having advantages over us. Imaging how powerful our nations gonna be and how comfortable our lives gonna be if we got rid of 95 percent of these "Asian ways" and change our government system.