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Growing up in a strict Asian family

For Asian Americans to discuss Asian American issues and topics.

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Growing up in a strict Asian family

Postby Winston » Wed May 19, 2010 7:20 pm

Check this out. Would any of you have wanted to grow up in a typical strict Asian family like this? hahaha

"Hi!
Great to hear back from you...
Well..shes done a lot of the things you mentioned on the site...
She tells us(3 daughters) how to eat..and what to eat for example if we're all sitting together for a meal...example: "Don't eat that alone-you have to eat it with rice."
She has never apologized in her life..
She believes that anyone that's younger than her doesn't know better than her and also doesn't deserve respect from her since she's the older person...
She feels that if you voice your opinion then you're being disrespectful..
She also feels that if you disagree with what she's saying-it doesn't matter-you're supposed to just sit there and "accept" it and not say anything back..
She feels that Koreans are superior to any other race..example: "Oh those cells phones came out in Korea way before they came out here" etc
She feels that women should find a rich man and be with him solely for that reason..
She thinks money is the most important thing in life...
She also thinks that the mold of going to school and studying is all there is to do as a young person..
She thinks that being a doctor or lawyer are the only two professions that anyone should try to pursue...example: I'm about to finish my Bachelors degree after transferring to two different universities--after declaring my major was Pre-Med-because that's what she 'told' me to major in..
Growing up-my older sister and I would get in trouble for bringing a "B" home and were not allowed to go out with boys or even go out with friends on weekends..
I had moved back into my parents' house about two years ago to try and save money to buy a place when I got closer to finishing school...my mother also assured me that they would remodel their full basement so I could live down there-this still hasn't been done to this day..
The other night..a Saturday..(keep in mind I'll be 28 next month and work full time and go to school full time at night and basically handle all my business without giving my parents any burden..) I was out on a date-I rarely go out--maybe-one night per week with all my other responsibilities..she called my cell phone numerous times and was leaving me messages like "That's enough-it's late and you need sleep." It was so embarassing to have my date wonder who in the world was calling me so persistently.
Anyhow-I got home and that's when we had our blowout--I basically told her to stop calling me every single time I go out and quit worrying about me since I was almost 30 years old. She yelled back and said "I'll call you 100 times if I want-you can't tell me what to do etc etc"
So after that I was completely fed up with her trying to force me to be her robot/puppet and decided it was time to move out. So I'm signing another apartment lease this week so I can move in this weekend and get my sanity back.
There are a lot of other issues too like my younger sister(20) who doesnt work and barely passes her college general education classes. But my mother lets her go out and do whatever she wants-even still buys her clothes at the mall--yet I'm the responsible one and I get treated like a delinquent. So about a few days after the blowout-note that I haven't said two words to her or vice versa since then--she knocks on my bedroom door and says something along the lines of "Get up-it's time for church" as if everything is just fine and dandy and nothing ever happened. Another thing she said was "Parents fuss because they care-if they dont, nobody will."
She expects me to just pretend like nothing happened and I'm supposed to just snap my fingers and act normal with her. Not this time. I'm fed up and removing myself from that mentality.
It's the most twisted mentality ever and I've just finally reached my limit. Until she understands that you can't talk to people or treat them any way you want-and being a family member does not justify treating people any way you want-I won't be letting myself be around someone that needs constant drama in their lives. Something else she's done is try to give the guilt trip--when I first moved out-she gave me the whole schpiel about "Oh after all we've done for you-this is the thanks we get??" She also doesn't understand the concept of people needing to "vent." I might go to her just to vent and relieve a little stress by talking about some minor problem going on at work for example. She ALWAYS responds by immediately having a "solution" to my "problem." It irritates me so bad I just have to walk away before I say something rude. She has very poor listening skills and will blatantly interrupt you while you are talking because she has no conversational skills.
Sorry for the novel-I got a little emotional about the whole thing. I hope this helps give you a better idea of what I was meaning. Those are just a few of the lifelong examples that I've gone through.
My older sister is 31 and my mother still tries to control her even though she's married and living with her husband about 15 minutes away from my parents' house.
The younger one is such a delinquent-she's taken off for days with random guys and my mother has taken her back and justified her bad behavior with excuses. I just can't stand seeing the hypocrisy and biased treatment that she displays with her children.
Thanks for listening!
Let me know what you think about this craziness..
=)
Victoria"
Last edited by Winston on Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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Postby Winston » Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:13 am

God damn. Check out this Asian girl and her mother in Australia. Aren't they pure 100 percent conformists with zero ability to think outside the box? Aren't they so different from me? lol

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-oiJuwo4ew[/youtube]

This news report is a bit biased. It only interviewed Asian girls who are happy about living up to extreme standards. They didn't interview the unhappy Asian students who did not like such strictness and extreme expectations.

Momopi, were your Asian parents anything like the ones shown in this video?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 24277
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm


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