Why is my Taiwanese family so boring, square and no fun?

[AsiaBill]

Most of Humanity are Creatures of Habit and live their lives within a 100 mile radius of where they are born. We who craved for adventure are a minority , a special breed. I started questioning the choices I made while in the supermarket when I was 17 and realized my first impulse was to reach for the same brand my Mother bought but it took a mental effort to break away from such habits. The same goes with character and personality traits and behavior and other negative attitudes like racism, all are inherited from generation to generation until one member of the family STOPS and thinks and changes. But there no reason to maintain a critical attitude towards the majority as it's because of their narrow mindedness and fears that we are SO FREE and have SO MANY opportunities to live our lives OUR WAY.

[globetrotter]

'Yeah but my family is too extreme.'

So you have freedom to chose but your family is not allowed to chose for themselves?

I leave it to you to ponder that contradiction.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Most of Humanity are Creatures of Habit and live their lives within a 100 mile radius of where they are born. We who craved for adventure are a minority , a special breed. I started questioning the choices I made while in the supermarket when I was 17 and realized my first impulse was to reach for the same brand my Mother bought but it took a mental effort to break away from such habits. The same goes with character and personality traits and behavior and other negative attitudes like racism, all are inherited from generation to generation until one member of the family STOPS and thinks and changes. But there no reason to maintain a critical attitude towards the majority as it's because of their narrow mindedness and fears that we are SO FREE and have SO MANY opportunities to live our lives OUR WAY.

Dispute what I just said, I do agree with your post. I do believe we are rare because not too many people think about moving to live in another country unless they hit dire straights such as running from child support, or the many people who are unemployed here in the states that are looking for work.

And I fully admit however that I broke away from the religion that my mother put me under. That was really hard to do, but I was extremely liberated that I was no longer a F*** christian. Uhh, Christianity/Islam and all the rest of these religions are nothing more then man made ideologies that are used to keep people in line.

Real Gods manifest themselves and show you works (good or bad) that you can see. Playing with a Ouija board or going to Haiti and visiting a voodoo priest is about as real as you can get.

[AsiaBill]

The Spheres of POWER Elite all about DIVIDE & RULE- and FEAR so it's not only organized religion who is guilty but all of them. Religion is like the largest group of Life Insurance Corporations in the world whispering, "Are you afraid of DEATH? We can can take your fear away for 10% +++" But developing one's own sense of right and wrong and morality is important and extremely rewarding like common sense good karma or what you sow is what you reap. Casting stones at the powers that be will get one nowhere but early death. Anyone with wisdom easy enough for the masses of humanity to understand and adopt even song lyrics or a new way of living MUST DIE ASAP of accidental causes of course or by the hand of some lunatic ??? Nover f**k with the established powers or accept death is near better to live one's life as FREE and PROSPEROUS and PLEASURABLE as hedonistically possible.

[Rock]

*cough* Back when we lived in Changhua, my father's idea of entertainment was to dig a fish pond in the yard, wait for the neighborhood cats to come by at night to steal fish, then throw a lit firecracker out the window to see how high the cats jump.

If you think your family is boring and want a taste of the other side, try watching the 2010 Taiwanese movie 艋舺 (Monga):



You can see the movie for free online from services such as pps.tv, but be warned that these "free" movie sites from China will probably install random spyware and such. So use a dedicated media computer (preferably connected to your TV) that you use to watch shows only and don't use that PC to check your e-mail or log on to your bank's web site.

http://kan.pps.tv/movie_region/%CC%A8%CD%E5_1.html

Monga is listed 2nd on the right. You need to install the PPS software (spammy adware?) to watch the movie.

Momopi, I take it you've seen the movie. Didn't you think it lacked authenticity? I was kinda disappointed after all the hype. There were many little and big things which made it obvious that the film was shot recently, not back in the day. Wanhua used to be a very different place. After they turned it into some sort of tourist site and cleaned it up, it lost all its gritty charm. And until recently, it was pretty uncommon to hear Mandarin spoken there, unlike the way its portrayed in the film. Guess the low budget required compromises.

There was another recent Taiwan movie which I liked much better. I can't remember the name but it took place in the early days of CKS's reign over Taiwan around a KMT military installation. Do know which movie I'm talking about? It slips my mind at the moment.

[Rock]

Winston, when it comes to primary and extended families you get in life, its a luck of the draw. Your situation sounds a bit boring but totally acceptable, not worthy of aggravation.

On the ugly side of the spectrum, people are stuck with family members who abuse them, leave them, or require permanent support. I know of a few people in Taiwan who are losing or have lost their youth slaving away to support their parents or other family members. Sometimes, a debt will be made to loan sharks in order to support a gambling habit and the loan guarantee will be made in the name of a family member. When they are not able to pay, both parties have to go into long term hiding. As I imagine you know, much uglier things happen frequently in the States.

On the lucky side, from your point of view at least, you could have been born into a family of artistic freethinker types and intellectually stimulating relatives with various creative backgrounds, who of course were willing to support your free travel oriented lifestyle as long as you lived.

You ended up somewhere in the middle. So your family and relatives are boring and square study/workaholics and can't talk about anything more interesting than whether or not you've eaten. But at least they give you total freedom to choose and pursue your own path. They don't burden you in anyway. You can replace whats missing in your family circle - intellectual stimulation and fun - through friends you make and girls you meet around the world in your travels and through the Internet

And keep in mind, should your colorful and interesting friends ever abandon you, especially in times of need, your parents are there. Just my advice so take it as much or little as you like: appreciate them for who they are and what they've done for you, don't fault them for not being what they are not. They are just being themselves, just like you are. Some people are actually quite content to live narrow, boring, and predictable lives.

If you contrast a truly happy person living a narrow boxed-in life to a chronically depressed artist who travels and truly experiences the pleasures of the world (the best women, music, etc), which one is luckier, which one would you choose to be? Not so easy to answer, at least for me.

[momopi]

Momopi, I take it you've seen the movie. Didn't you think it lacked authenticity? I was kinda disappointed after all the hype. There were many little and big things which made it obvious that the film was shot recently, not back in the day. Wanhua used to be a very different place. After they turned it into some sort of tourist site and cleaned it up, it lost all its gritty charm. And until recently, it was pretty uncommon to hear Mandarin spoken there, unlike the way its portrayed in the film. Guess the low budget required compromises.

TW's film industry doesn't have Hollywood's budget lah. I'm just happy that they're even able to produce movies like Secret and Cape No. 7. Monga had a budget of $2.3 million USD (NT 70 million), which is like 1% of the budget for Avatar ($237 million USD). You can't expect them to recreate the old Wanhua district on that kind of $$.

[NorthAmericanguy]

The Spheres of POWER Elite all about DIVIDE & RULE- and FEAR so it's not only organized religion who is guilty but all of them. Religion is like the largest group of Life Insurance Corporations in the world whispering, "Are you afraid of DEATH? We can can take your fear away for 10% +++" But developing one's own sense of right and wrong and morality is important and extremely rewarding like common sense good karma or what you sow is what you reap. Casting stones at the powers that be will get one nowhere but early death. Anyone with wisdom easy enough for the masses of humanity to understand and adopt even song lyrics or a new way of living MUST DIE ASAP of accidental causes of course or by the hand of some lunatic ??? Nover f**k with the established powers or accept death is near better to live one's life as FREE and PROSPEROUS and PLEASURABLE as hedonistically possible.

I agree and I know what you're talking about. There are men who operate above any laws and nobody knows who they are and they can get away with anything.

These same men are behind 911, the Oklahoma bombing, all the murders connected to Bill Clinton and any other public activist who mysteriously died way before their time.

[ghostforever]

My family is very similar to yours, Winston. They never want to stray outside of their comfort zones and routines. This is especially true when it comes to travel. In a way, their reluctance to travel extensive distances on family vacations was a blessing in disguise -- because it filled me with wanderlust, which I still have to this day. It's similar to girls with restrictive parents who often become sluts once they're out on their own. Living promiscuously is their way of rebelling and making up for what they consider to be "lost time."

[Repatriate]

Winston,

Your friend Taylor is right. There's nothing wrong with balance or having career ambition in life. Just like how not everyone is suited to the 9 to 5 corporate grind not everyone wants the bohemian wanderer lifestyle either. They are both extremes, it just so happens that in the developed world the 9 to 5 is more socially acceptable because in order for a country to be productive and efficient it needs lots of people on board with the prior lifestyle.

Matter of fact if you get a lot of people who don't want to work too hard, aren't particularly intellectual, and focused on self centered short term goals you end up with a country like Thailand or the Phillipines. This may be good to travel and live for awhile but don't forget that everyone posting here is benefiting from the "developed" world even when we live abroad. We are living as expats and our lifestyle is only good because we have all the privileges that first world passport entails also.

This is stating the obvious but I really doubt most people would be all that happy living with a second or third world citizenship combined with being born and raised in a country like the Phillipines. Chances are you'd be poor and wondering about all the vast riches overseas that you've heard of. The female companionship might be good but there's much more to life than that as well.

[Winston]

Repatriate, I don't think Taylor was referring to that. The balance he was referring to was working all year and taking two weeks off for vacation each year, like square families do. That's how I interpreted it. He is part of that rat race routine himself, so of course he is going to try to justify it or rationalize it somehow.

But the thing is, the way he lives is to the extreme. He admits that he has no free time in his life and lots of stress from work. He barely has time for his kids. There is no fun or adventure in his life, even though he lives in a beautiful state like Arizona. He maybe has a vacation two weeks a year, but that's it.

I sure don't envy that. We all know that it's folly to be a slave for the economy until you die.

Anyway, I don't think he was talking about global balance the way you are. You are projecting your thoughts onto his.

Europeans are first world yet they have more vacation time, cause they don't have a "live to work" mentality. They have more balance in that sense. The US workaholic mentality is extreme and in some ways forced by the system.

Repatriate, are you ethnic Taiwanese? What are your family and relatives like? What about your cousins? Are they like you? Are they square?

[Winston]

The Spheres of POWER Elite all about DIVIDE & RULE- and FEAR so it's not only organized religion who is guilty but all of them. Religion is like the largest group of Life Insurance Corporations in the world whispering, "Are you afraid of DEATH? We can can take your fear away for 10% +++" But developing one's own sense of right and wrong and morality is important and extremely rewarding like common sense good karma or what you sow is what you reap. Casting stones at the powers that be will get one nowhere but early death. Anyone with wisdom easy enough for the masses of humanity to understand and adopt even song lyrics or a new way of living MUST DIE ASAP of accidental causes of course or by the hand of some lunatic ??? Nover f**k with the established powers or accept death is near better to live one's life as FREE and PROSPEROUS and PLEASURABLE as hedonistically possible.

I agree and I know what you're talking about. There are men who operate above any laws and nobody knows who they are and they can get away with anything.

These same men are behind 911, the Oklahoma bombing, all the murders connected to Bill Clinton and any other public activist who mysteriously died way before their time.

This is probably true. Regardless of whether a Satanic Illuminati exists or not, there is no question that there are hidden shadowy elements in government that orchestrate events. William Colby, former director of the CIA, reportedly said "The CIA owns everyone of any significance in the corporate media". And Jesse Ventura when he was governor saw that at the top level, government and corporate sectors were one group.

Alex Jones says that tapes were released where an FBI agent was directing someone on carrying out the Oklahoma City bombing.

These things are too disturbing for the average American so they dismiss it through cognitive dissonance.

[Repatriate]

But the thing is, the way he lives is to the extreme. He admits that he has no free time in his life and lots of stress from work. He barely has time for his kids. There is no fun or adventure in his life, even though he lives in a beautiful state like Arizona. He maybe has a vacation two weeks a year, but that's it.

Arizona is the state where all the conservative white people from CA flee to when the minorities move in. Nature wise it's beautiful but the people deep down are a cross section of good ole fashioned repressed narrow mindedness.

Repatriate, are you ethnic Taiwanese? What are your family and relatives like? What about your cousins? Are they like you? Are they square?

Yes, but you keep insisting that i'm the definition of "square" when that's the furthest thing from the truth. Half of my family has served or is serving in the U.S. military and they all chose their own particular interests after school. There are a couple engineer types in my family but even they are unusual. My parents are conservative but they gave me leeway to do what I wanted to do. I don't buy into the Chinese/Taiwanese family guilt trip and it's fairly easy to side step it after high school.

Your viewpoints seem more parochial to me and you seem to toe the line between inferiority complex and overcompensating for your own perceived shortcomings. Maybe you are a product of your generation. I have noticed that I don't see eye to eye with a lot of individuals from a certain generational group. You are almost 40 am I correct and born in the late 60s/early 70's? If that is the case I see what social perspectives you grew up with and let's just say your thoughts are very different from my particular generation.

[Winston]

Repatriate, so you are part of Generation Y, or "Generation Me" rather, the entitlement generation. No wonder why you act so arrogant. You are smart and shrewd in a lot of ways, but far too arrogant, crass and sometimes abrasive with a know-it-all attitude. No wonder.

Every generation, as they say, considers itself more forward thinking than the last, and wiser than the next.

You ought to learn from older wiser people like me :p

Aren't you the police academy dropout who wrote me before, whose letter I posted?

For some reason, the Taiwanese family guilt trip thing applies more to TW families in America than to people in Taiwan. Some have told me that the TW people in America are more old fashioned than in Taiwan. Is that so? Why is that? Perhaps that explains my family?

[Winston]

Understand that unless if there's a customer base for the products (pizza, french bread, pastries, etc), the store wouldn't carry them.

My mother's side of family, from grandfather down, are foodies. Even when my grandfather was 90 years old and couldn't chew, he still insisted that we buy all kinds of stuff and throw it in the blender, so he could suck it through a straw. His daughters (my mother and her sisters) were the pretty school bimbos who dated bad boys, and his son (my uncle) was a womanizer. Your friend Elizabeth meet my uncle once in Diamond Bar and she immediately got the player vibe (feel free to ask her about it). Back when he was in school, he had a GF from every college in the area.

So, ya, my family is not like yours. You're likely to find more jerks in my family than yours. However, I do hold respect for my grandfather, who told me "eat and enjoy good food and drink today, before you get too old and can't eat anything", and (by his generation's cultural standards) "happiness for man is to marry a Japanese wife, live in a big American style house, and eat a variety of good Chinese food". His son married a Taiwanese girl educated in Japan and bought a house in America. I was one of the legal guardians for his 2 kids (my cousins) when they were under 18.

Speaking of Elizabeth, check out her pic on Facebook. She looks so hot!



Here is a pic of me and her at a mall in LA: