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So I've just come back from Mexico, and had a blast there for the past few weeks. I went all over the country by bus (camiÃ³n / autobÃºs) and met plenty of wonderful folks. This was a really long trip involving plenty of people and places, so I'll just share some experiences relevant to the issues discussed in this forum.
Except for the lighthouse picture of San Felipe, all of the photos below were personally taken by me.
1. SOME OBSERVATIONS
The people are incredibly friendly and easy to get to know. In the United States, although it isn't hard to be become acquainted with new people, it would be very difficult to actually get to know them on a much deeper and more personal level.
Of course, as I've said in my other posts, the girls in Mexico are also far more approachable, friendly, and open to casual interaction. Cold approaches don't always work, and girls will often ignore strangers who try to approach them due to the aggressive cat calls they have to deal with everyday. Nevertheless, if either they have a very approachable vibe to them or approach me first, then interacting with them would be very easy and natural. In those interactions, flirting and asking for each others' numbers feel completely natural instead of awkward and inappropriate.
As a "chino" ("Chinese"), I'd attract a lot of curiosity, which would always be positive. They'd ask plenty of questions about my culture and origin, which is because of their natural friendliness and openness. On the other hand, in the United States, people would hardly say anything about my being Asian, but there would be a lot of covert racism. In Mexico, I do feel a lot more self-conscious about my ethnicity, but it always feels like an asset rather than something to be ashamed of.
2. BAJA CALIFORNIA
In the little tourist port town of San Felipe, I saw this marked difference. While I was at a trinket stand, I chatted up some women selling necklaces and bracelets. Then some white American teenage girls came there, and the Mexican ladies encouraged me to talk to them. Then I said I'm also a tourist from California, I'm loving this place right here, and how about you? So guess what happened. They completely ignored what I said, looked away, and gave me a "stay away from me, you creep" kind of feeling. None of the Mexican women I talked to at San Felipe had ever given me this kind of treatment. And later that day, when I was coming down from a lighthouse, I said "Hola buenos dias" to some girls who happened to be going up (they looked like they're of Mexican descent). But then they looked away, tried to avoid me, and didn't say a single word - instead of saying "Buenos dias" back to me like almost all Mexican men and women do. Then several seconds later, they started talking to each other in English. No wonder - they're "pochitas" (slang for overly Americanized girls of Mexican descent).
In Mexicali, I chatted up two Mexican girls at a Chinese restaurant in Mexicali. I asked if I could sit next to them, and they squealed in delight, saying, "Claro que sÃ, guapo" ("Yes of course, handsome!"). Both are in their 20's. They're very flirty and aggressive!
Even disabled and homeless people are incredibly down-to-earth. They are so much easier to approach and befriend than those in the U.S. In MazatlÃ¡n, while asking around for some "comida econÃ³mica" (affordable food), a homeless man actually helped me out by showing me a cheap place to eat for breakfast, and we had a wonderful meal together. Of course, with my American sensibilities, I hesitated at first, but felt there was something special and sincere about him that made him trustworthy. His friends were also super friendly and approachable. He is a former drug addict who sleeps on the beach. However, he remains optimistic, and says that he will try to keep going forward in life ("que siga adelante" in his original words). He thanked me for being a "muchacho muy bueno" and said "Que Dios te bendiga" ("May God bless you") as he left. In the U.S., most homeless people would not be approachable at all. There would be plenty of "ice" around them, unlike the homeless folks I've met in MazatlÃ¡n. Try to have a similar experience with a homeless guy in the U.S. - it is possible, but would be very hard to find!
No wonder the famous song "El Corrido de MazatlÃ¡n" says that "AquÃ hasta un pobre se siente millonario" ("Here even a poor man feels like a millionaire.").
(Below: Here's where I met my homeless buddy.)
And in CuliacÃ¡n, I met a Mixtec girl who was born in Oaxaca, but had spent most of her life in the northern state of Sinaloa. She is a 20-year-old single mother with a 1-year-old daughter. What's interesting is that she looks Asian. She actually hit on me and asked me why I can't get a second girlfriend in Sinaloa, since my girlfriend in MichoacÃ¡n is far away. The guy next to her, a trinket vendor in his late 20's, says that she's currently looking for a husband.
In the middle of a night at a bus station in the state of Guanajuato, a woman in her 30's to 40's approached me and asked me if I'm looking for a taxi. I was looking away and trying to avoid eye contact with her, since in the U.S. you simply don't randomly chat up strangers at the bus station like that! She asked me about myself (where I'm from, what I'm doing here), and not long afterwards, started being very flirty. She beckoned her friend to come over, and they both commented about my Asian features. In America, such comments would be signs of racism and derogatory feelings, but they actually thought my "ojos chinos" ("Chinese eyes") were really cute! I told them I have a girlfriend in a nearby part of Mexico, and they joked that they'd be happy to be my "Sanchas" ("Sancha" is slang for the girl that you're cheating with). We took some pictures together, exchanged phone numbers, and said goodbye after showing me where to get taxis. All this happened in a bus station that was nearly empty around midnight!
So here are those aggressive mamasitas :
I went to a small town in the state of Guanajuato to stay with some friends. We climbed some hillsides and hiked all over the countryside. He then told me that all of the land is actually private. I was surprised, and told him that in the United States, I'd be arrested for trespassing if I ever tried to do the same thing. My friend said that the local ranchers trust people to go hiking and rock climbing on their lands. None of the barb wiring fencing had any "No Trespassing" signs on them, unlike in the U.S., where they'd be all over the place.
The bad side is that people throw trash everywhere. When I said that in California, littering fines are usually a few hundred dollars, another friend of mine in Guanajuato said that the police don't even care about such things. Then he said, "Ah, MÃ©xico libre y querido!" (literally "Mexico, free and dear!")
I saw people riding in the backs/beds of pickup trucks all the time too. Below: Don't try this in America - expect a hefty fine if you do so.
In MichoacÃ¡n, I got to see my girlfriend again. I was very happy to see that she's grown both physically (in height) and mentally (in intelligence, etc.). I showed her the pictures of my trip that I've taken so far, and we talked and talked. We even went into a cathedral, where she prayed for me and my family. She wished me good health and a safe journey, and thanked me for being part of her life.
PM me if you'd like to see pictures of me and my girlfriend.
Anyhow, here are some good places to visit in MichoacÃ¡n (sorry for the flash in the middle - it says PÃ¡tzcuaro):
In Huajuapan de LeÃ³n, a city in the northwestern part of Oaxaca state, I met these two wonderful guys at a torta (sandwich) cafÃ©, and got to know them really well within an hour. We shared plenty of puns and jokes, told each other stories, and expressed our opinions of various issues such as migration and ethnicity.
I was in Oaxaca City for the Noche de Rabanos (Dec. 23), Christmas Eve, and Christmas. The main plaza/zocalo and the entire region around it were so crowded that you'd have to nudge your way through your crowd in order to move (see below).
In Oaxaca City, a Mixtec kid asked me if there are any such festivals from where I'm from in California. I said no, since Americans are "muy peresozos" (very lazy), and tend to stay home and stay glued to their LCD screens during holidays. Later, that kid took me to a church where they were passing out free food for the locals. A Merry Christmas indeed!
In Oaxaca City, Triqui girls (originally from the village of San Juan Copala in western Oaxaca state) also flirted with me. The children, aged 5-12, also backed up the flirting with comments such as:
- "She's being jealous [that I already a girlfriend]!"
- "Which girl do you want out of these four? Pick and choose one!"
- "We'll give her to you for just 10 pesos!" (Triqui men traditionally pay dowries of several thousand U.S. dollars, or tens of thousands of Mexican pesos, plus 100 cases of beer, for a Triqui wife.)
It all starts at a young age. When I was in elementary school, girls and boys would avoid interaction with each other and form little cliques of their own. Casual flirting and dating/romance jokes were completely unknown to them. Now imagine what Californian vs. Oaxacan kids turn into within a couple of years.
The girls showing me their traditional cuisine:
One Triqui woman even asked if I have any nephews or cousins for their daughters to get to know. I was surprised by that request, which is something that would almost never happen in America!
7. CHINESE GIRLS IN OAXACA
In Oaxaca City, I met four Chinese tourist girls from Shandong, Hunan, and Guangdong provinces in mainland China. They didn't speak any Spanish or know anyone in Mexico, so I showed them around the city and served as their personal translator. Also, the girls were very interested in little details (architecture, clothing) everywhere, and took plenty of pictures. They loved shopping for souvenirs too. However, they didn't seem to be very interested in interacting with and getting to know the locals, which was my primary interest. Instead, the girls kept mostly to themselves and spoke entirely in Mandarin Chinese. But overall, I had a great impression of them, as they were very down-to-earth, sincere, and intelligent.
In the U.S., a Chinese international student told me that in China, girls are "warmer" (bi jiao re qing 比较热情), and I could finally see that claim for myself. Nevertheless, they were far less aggressive and sexually open than the local Mexican girls are. Our interactions would always be very free-flowing, friendly, and natural (without any explicit romance), but Latinas would always tend to flirt or show romantic interest very quickly. The next day, one of the girls did try to catch my attention by saying, "hey, shuai ge!" (帅哥, "handsome boy"; a rough equivalent in Spanish would be "papi chulo"). I introduced them to lots of friends that I had just made in Oaxaca City. One of them, a man in his 30's, greeted one of them by giving her a kiss on the cheek, which really shocked the girls. I explained to both of them that it's just a cultural difference, and nothing more (girls in Mexico did the same to me). He apologized, and the girls said it's all right.
(PM me for pics for the Chinese girls.)
But after I introduced the Chinese girls to my Triqui female friends, the Triqui girls started to become jealous. They complained to me, "TÃº - siempre con las chinitas! Vete con ellas" ("You - you're always with those Chinese girls! Go away with them!"). After I actually started walking away, they immediately beckoned for me to come back, and said "no no no, that was all just a joke! She wants you to stay because she's jealous!" Some of the Triqui toddlers then started pointing at the girls and shouted, "Celosa, celosa!" ("Jealous, jealous!") While all this was happening, the Chinese girls were at a tourist kiosk several feet away asking for maps.
I also showed a Japanese male solo backpacker around Oaxaca City, and introduced him to one of my local Mexican friends who was in her mid-20's. I translated for them, since the Japanese tourist spoke no Spanish and the girl didn't speak any English. She told him that she loves Japanese guys, likeds his Oriental eyes, and also enjoys watching Japanese movies. Then she commented that he seemed very shy ("tÃmido"), and that he looked a little serious ("serio"). Such demeanors are quite typical in East Asia, but not in Latin America. But I just told her that it's because he doesn't speak any Spanish and doesn't know the city well, since it would take forever to explain what Winston described in http://www.happierabroad.com/Asian_Ment ... ictness_of (not saying my Japanese friend's exactly like that, but you get the idea).
8. BACK TO CALIFORNIA
But after Christmas, as soon as I stepped into California after I got past the border inspection station, the entire social atmosphere was strange. I noticed right away that people of all races there, except for the recent immigrants, nearly looked like zombies! At one lonely bus stop, there was a guy listening to death metal with his earbuds at max volume. That was it - no one else. The streets were nearly empty, and everyone looked quite miserable. Everyone was obviously at home watching TV, surfing the web, or "hanging out with friends" at home. Winston's reports of American vs. foreign social life are no joke. I saw the contrast for myself within just a few hours by crossing the US-Mexico border during Christmas season.
So overall, it really was quite an adventure. You can also have such an adventure if you've got the language skills, personal charm, and "guts" to do it. Go abroad, and see, hear, and feel the difference for yourself!
Last edited by Falcon on Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:31 am, edited 3 times in total.
Wow GREAT trip report! I will post it to our Facebook group and spread it around.
But where are the pics of hot Mexican girls?
Last edited by Winston on Mon Jan 02, 2012 10:08 am, edited 2 times in total.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.
Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
Additionally, nearly all functional, working-class Mexican guys in their 20's or above will be married or at least in some sort of relationship. Income and occupation are irrelevant! There are plenty of Mexican guys earning USD $5-$10 a day who are happily married with children.
Chronic datelessness and loneliness are seriously unheard of unless you're talking about disabled people, the homeless, or drug addicts. Local Mexicans are often puzzled by why so many foreign travelers are single, and always travel solo.
Here's a tip: Do NOT tell the locals, or let them think, that you're a desperate single man looking for a local woman. In Mexico, the girls would really start to hit on me AFTER I tell them I already have a girlfriend!
Above. Didn't you see them? Like that Asian-looking Mixtec girl selling nopales (edible cacti) on the streets of CuliacÃ¡n, Sinaloa. Locals say that "Culichi" (= natives of CuliacÃ¡n) girls are among the most attractive of all of Mexico. That's one of the first things they'll brag about the city when they meet you. There's a local joke that goes:
The joke is that the preppy, upper-class girls from Mexico City are fake, while the country girls from Sinaloa are the "real deal."
Speaking of Facebook, check out the page "Las Mujeres de Sinaloa Son Las Mas Hermosas " ("Women from Sinaloa are the Most Beautiful") http://www.facebook.com/sinaloalasmashermosas
Mexican guys aren't picky at all. In Mexico, practically ANY girl in the 15-40 age range will be seen as attractive. Picky guys will be seen as gay.
Of course I did meet plenty of Mexican girls who are physically attractive. They're everywhere on the streets of Mexico. But what's far more important for me is her personality, attitude, and heart. Focusing exclusively on good looks is rather shallow.
Seriously, I wouldn't recommend going to Latin America with the sole intent of trying to get girls. That wasn't what I even intended when I went there. Make friends with a lot of guys, get to know the local culture well, and travel around a lot. Then the girls will just kind of kick in when you'd expect them least. You're not going to get a lot of respect if all you do is constantly hit on the local girls.
Last edited by Falcon on Mon Jan 02, 2012 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Falcon, that was a GREAT trip you've had! After hearing this, I DO want to go to Mexico. But my lack of Spanish knowledge would get in the way. But it's great to hear how friendly everyone is, it makes me not worry if I do know some Spanish.
But while the western world in general is messed up, the US is the perfected, zombification milleu of the the elite. Most of you who say people look like zombies don't realize that people really ARE physically zombified. If you don't want to end up like them, I would suggest you permanently leave the US ASAP. In a couple decades/less than that, this country will become a destitute police state, a graveyard full of zombies(wageslaves) and monsters(irradiated children). If you're not a zombie in this country, they'll will do whatever you can to drag you down with everyone else(the elite are already marking free-thinkers/protesters as terrorists, and you know what they do to terrorists).
Instead of taking short vacations to satisfy whatever primitive desires you have, save up/work/exploit however you can, to build a huge bank of savings so you can LEAVE permanently, and kiss the US goodbye. The extra time you spend not spending money will be well worth it.
Nice Trip Report...
I will concur with others though, most of the women you posted are even below plain-jane status even by Mexican standards. I know native Mexican men aren't terribly picky either for those that doubt me, go down to East LA you'll see what I mean.
You can find very attractive women in Mexico you really don't need to take pictures for proof. If Falcon says looks aren't a priority, he's a better man than me.
It will depend on taste of course but I think most will agree those with less native Mexican Indian Blood are better looking. Those with Spanish or German blood will be the best looking women down there and you'll find most of the prostitutes in Mexico City and TJ are of this background. Same with the high end hookers you find in all the coastal resort spots.
That said if you're hard up for a girl in general, Mexico is a good place to go again if looks aren't a priority. You'll find people as Falcon said looking to hook up their friends with tourist even.
If looks are near the top of your list, don't pass go head for Mexico City.... If temporary fun is what you're after head for TJ or one of the coastal cities on the Pacific Ocean side.
Interesting trip report. I guess others here are kind of missing the point. If random women are friendly and chatting Falcon up it's a pretty good indicator that the opportunities are there socially and culturally on a broader scale. In the U.S. even plain jane below average girls would give nasty vibes a lot of times even if you have zero interest in dating them. I'm sure you have to work on some level with attractive girls anywhere but the fact that society is more open and friendly initially means that there are better possibilities across the board.
Falcon: Your experiences kind of mirror my own with Chinese women. So far I haven't met a single mainland Chinese woman who has given off a stuck up or bitchy vibe with me. Unfortunately i've had a girlfriend when I met most Chinese girls around here but i'm positive I could have easily dated them. I felt the attraction was strong a lot of times.
My main point was to emphasize that people are very sociable and approachable in Mexico. That's why I included pictures of men, children, and older and less attractive women. During my trip, I tried to take pictures of everyone that I've built some sort of a special friendship with, not those who would look good in bed. I already had a girlfriend, so there was no point in trying to look for more "hot" girls. I let my girlfriend look through all the photos in my camera too, so you can see why I didn't try to go into a bar and pose with lots of "hot" girls as Winston did in http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4703 .
The women who have displayed interest in me usually tend to have more "native Mexican Indian Blood." In fact, a significant proportion of those were pureblood indigenous women. AmericanInMexico reported the opposite. The simple fact is that he's Caucasian and I'm Asian. As for the prostitutes, many of them have Indian looks since they usually come from poor families, often in the countryside. My girlfriend looks like she has a lot of Spanish blood though (PM me for pictures). To most guys, she would look a lot more attractive than the women I posted above.
Look guys, I can tell that many of you only think about meeting "hot" women in your plans to travel abroad. That should not be your priority, but should only be the icing on the cake, so to speak. In other words, if you are already an unhappy person, simply having a woman in your life will not make you much happier in the long run. I focused on building friendships and immersing myself in the local culture, and the ladies just came along when I would least expect them.
Nice trip report and looks you had fun
I'm not surprised since some of your travels were in the southern parts of Mexico, where the native Mexican blood is concentrated in higher percentages. Oaxaca, at 48% has one of the highest concentration of indigenous people. When you go up north, that percentage gets lower like Guanajuanto (15%) and Michaocan (7%). If I'm correct, AmericanInMexico traveled to/settled in the northern part of Mexico, where there is a more concentration of white people. Mexico is very diverse in terms of people, food, environment, speech and culture. Mexico will vary greatly depending where you go.
Brazil has more Japanese people than any other country outside of Japan and the US. So if you truly desire a Japanese girl with some "Soul" or "Flavor" then I would beat a path to Sao Paulo, that's where the largest community of Japanese are.
Good trip report Falcon, love the avatar by the way. Man, imagine walking through some tough urban neighborhood with a falcon on your arm! Watch the tough guys and their "Pits" just disappear!
Anyway, it seems like you had a good time just being out and about and socializing with the locals. That is the kind of experience I'm looking for. Why travel to another country and just hide in your hotel room and visit all the "tourist" traps. GET OUT and really experience the place like Falcon did!
Hopefully when I travel this year (fingers crossed) I'll have the kind of experiences you had. I'm going to Europe first I believe, and London first. I'm going to check into the hotel and then wander around until I find some local pub, order some food and maybe a drink, and just interact with the locals.
Good job Falcon!
"What we are seeing in this headless misandry is a grand display of the Tyranny of the Underdog: "I am a wretchedly longstanding victim;therefore I own no burden of adult accountability, nor need to honor any restraint against my words and actions. In fact, all efforts to restrain me are only further proof of my oppressed condition."
"It is the most perfect trump-card against accountable living ever devised."
In this forum, there have been countless complaints about how American women are overly picky, judgmental, and shallow people. American men are not exempt. (Of course I do not mean to over-generalize or speak in categorical terms.) American guys love to say things such as "On a scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate this girl?" They would love to criticize specific features and so on. Typical American picky attitude. No offense to anyone here, but I see this kind of stuff on this forum all the time.
Although I've heard such things plenty of times from my male American peers, I've never heard anything like that said in Mexico. Instead, Mexican guys almost always say, "Do you like that girl?" Simple as that. No way they would start talking about 1-10 ratings or criticisms about obscure proportions and aesthetics. Now this kind of attitude carries over to the women as well.
Plus, whether you think those women have below average looks or not, I guarantee you they will all get cat called on Mexican streets and be seen as attractive "mamasitas" by a lot of Mexican guys out there.
I believe all women are physically beautiful in their own unique ways unless they have some sort of serious birth defect or actually look very grotesque (extreme cases). And what's even more important is her mind. I read somewhere that 90% of a person is his/her mind, and that is how you should evaluate a friend or a potential mate. I'm not saying looks aren't important. They are very important indeed. But what I'm saying is that we shouldn't be uninterested in a person simply because of physical looks. After all, aren't many of us here because we want to look for good personality traits in a potential mate? I'm sure many of you are fed up with very good-looking women at home who have stuck-up, rude personalities.
Anyways, that's just my personal opinion. Thanks for all your comments and support everyone. I really do appreciate them!
My dark-skinned Mexican gf has Whites in her family, but what she brags about is that her dad is 1/8 Japanese - and has the eyes.
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