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Here are two brief stories (or case studies) about two ladies that I had met in Yunnan, China. Both of them are ethnic minorities. They aren't very tall and have light brown complexions, and are incredibly warm and friendly. They really reminded me of all the friendly Mexican women I had met during my earlier trips to Mexico.
(1) Chinese girl literally can't believe that I have never had a girlfriend in college, and says she feels honored to get to know me.
(2) Chinese girl that I met on the bus helps me find a place to stay and takes me on a tour around town.
UPDATE - Additional stories:
(3) Friendly Chinese girl who worked at a Chinese motel
(4) Giggly cleaning girls at a Chinese motel
In a town in Yunnan, I met an ethnic Miao girl in her early 20's who just blew me away. She said that I was really tall, athletically well-built, intelligent and also handsome, and that as a result I must have had some girlfriends in college. When I said no, she literally did not believe me. She said, "But even if you don't have the courage to approach them, how come they won't come up to you and chat you up - Because you're just so tall and handsome!" My explanations of the current situation with Western women and the American matrix made no sense to her at all. It was as if I were talking about space aliens. She said, "But if you approach the girls here, they definitely won't ignore you and would talk to you, because you're really good-looking and charismatic."
She also said, "I feel really happy and honored to be around you today, because you're just such a good person. I feel awkward around you too because you're just so much better than me." This kind of humility truly amazed me. She did not have formal schooling, and was impressed that I could attend a university and have the chance to know so many things.
COMMENT: These are things that only someone like my sweetheart from central Mexico would say. And of course, they're nearly unheard of in the States!
On a bus going to a rural township, I met an ethnic Zhuang girl about 20 who had surprised me with her incredible hospitality and friendliness. Coming from the American matrix, I really didn't feel like chatting her up right away. Later, she started to ask around if anyone had change for a 20 RMB note. All the old guys on the bus looked like they didn't want anything to do with her, and all turned away. When she turned to me, she started to smile once we made initial eye contact. So once I gave her some change, we started to have a really good chat. We talked about school, family, ethnic minority cultures, my adventures in the US and Mexico, and all sorts of things. As we were about to arrive, she asked me, "So where are you going after you get off?" I answered, "I'll just walk around with you." She smiled at me and said sure. And afterwards, she actually did, and didn't flake out at all!
Once we got off the bus, the girl said she really wanted to find good accommodation for me, since some of them were "not as good." So she found a cheap, clean place for me with a very friendly owner. Next, she walked me around town. She showed me the town's historic bridge, old quarters, high school, and even introduced me to some of her friends. Later, she even helped me find a place to eat.
COMMENT: What are chances that a girl you had just meet on a bus in the USA will go out of their way to find a hotel for you, take you on a tour around town, and introduce you to her friends? She wasn't even a scammer or thief, and did this out of her own genuine friendliness.
Last edited by Falcon on Wed Jul 17, 2013 6:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.
From reading some of your recent posts, I'm getting the impression that you were more impressed by the minority girls u met in China. Did u have a lot of good experiences with people from the ethnic Chinese majority as well?
Yes of course, I had a lot of good experiences with the Han Chinese girls in rural Yunnan too. Usually the local Han Chinese are indistinguishable from the local ethnic minorities unless you specifically ask them what their ethnicity is, since their looks and speech are usually the same. Many Han Chinese are in fact ethnic minorities that have been Sinicized many years ago, and many ethnic minorities have significant Han Chinese lineage that can date back many centuries in their household registries (jiapu). So the ethnic Han Chinese vs. ethnic minority distinction is really quite artificial.
So you're right, I'm more impressed by the simpler rural girls in southwest China than by the sophisticated urban girls in Guangzhou. But that's just my preference.
Do you think girls of rural China are comparable to province girls from the Philippines?
Yes, rural Chinese girls are very comparable to province girls from the Philippines, though the Chinese girls are generally not quite as bubbly and would be more knowledgeable than their Filipina counterparts.
So to give you an example of a great Han Chinese girl I met:
I met a young girl (about 20?) who worked at her family-run motel in a rural town in Yunnan. She was tall and thin, and incredibly friendly and fun to talk to. "Sweet" and "innocent" are the two words that I would use to describe her. The place felt very much like a bed-and-breakfast homestay, even though it cost just 40 RMB per night (a little more than $5 USD). I spent much of my time playing with her younger brother and sister, both of whom were in elementary school.
She even cooked for me, which is something that American guys and girls don't really do nowadays (that's for the Mexican cooks), and then cleaned up for me afterwards as well. We spent lots of time talking together, watching TV together, playing with the kids together, and playing the electric keyboard too.
Right before I left, she asked me for me QQ and phone number. Wow, a girl actually asking me for my number! But I felt she was more like a great sister.
COMMENT: On the other hand, Taiwanese-American girls would be a lot colder and more difficult to interact with, though they aren't necessarily mean per se. Something about them would make me subconciously think in the back of my head, "Run and hide!" I would completely agree with Repatriate.
Hm interesting. I guess the fact that, I assume, you speak Mandarin to them means you can get to know them without language barriers.
Yes, I do speak Mandarin completely fluently. When I tell people that I live in the US, they would always think I'm a Chinese-born and raised student studying abroad at an American university for a few years. But when I say I have never even been to China before, they would be mildly shocked and pleasantly surprised.
That's why my explanations of why I haven't had a college girlfriend in the US were met with disbelief and incomprehension.
Here's another little story.
And once at my motel in rural China, I woke up late (past check-out time) and got a knock on my door from the cleaning crew. Turns out, they're about 4-5 young Han Chinese women in their teens and 20's. Once I opened the door, they all started giggling and smiling. I thought I heard one of them whisper "shuaige" ('handsome guy') to another girl. When I said I'm actually a Chinese-American living in the U.S., they got extremely excited and said, "Wooowww! How's the US? Is it fun?" I played some music for them too. We ended up chatting with each for a few minutes, had quite a good laughs, and then they left leaving my room spotless clean.
COMMENT: In the US, young women (except for the immigrant Latinas) working at restaurants, hotels, and most other venues would never talk to me, give me mean scowls, and walk right off.
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Got any pictures to post? So how did you plan your trips to rural Yunnan? Did you just pick out random places? What's the population in such places? Would you consider living in rural Yunnan?
I've had many experiences in China as well, but mostly in urban China, but even there, the girls are way more approachable than in the anglo-sphere.
Some pictures: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=15802
Women in Guangzhou are less approachable than women in Yunnan or Guizhou, but the Guangzhou ones are still far friendlier than their Western counterparts.
I would suggest picking a place that's not overrun by tourists. Narrowing down your interests to specific ethnic groups, languages, historical sites, or cultures will help you choose.
I think there is another issue at play. It's not just about the American matrix. It seems the areas you gravitate to in either Mexico or China are less developed parts where people are poorer, shorter, less sophisticated, and probably less educated. Of course as a first world male who is tall, educated, healthy, and worldly, you are going to stand out among the local guys around you. Just look around a bit. They are probably nothing like the ABCs/Mexican Americans you see back at home in the States. Nor are they much like there cousins in the better areas of Shanghai, Taipei, Beijing, SP, or even many second tier Chinese cities in the case of China or in Guadalajara, Mexico City, or many other larger Mexican cities in the case of Mexico.
The dating handicap you seem to be enjoying appears to be one of a decent looking first world man going to underdeveloped areas of the world which makes you stand out as richer, taller, more educated, and more sophisticated and worldly. That's fantastic. But the flip-side is that once you pursue serious relationships with some of these girls, you will likely experience many forms of relationship shock because they're just so very different from you on many levels.
Another strategy is to go to more developed areas of these countries, still enjoy a handicap, albeit a more modest one, have access to much more attractive women (IMO), and ultimately have much milder relationship shock issues when you do date because these girls are coming from a background much closer to your own. As an ABC type, you might be able to get the best of both worlds by going to ABC friendly areas like Thailand or perhaps second tier Chinese cities. In such locals, you might achieve a handicap approaching the one you got in the poorer underdeveloped areas while having access to the A team of women, the ones Winston wants to see photos of, lol.
great report and great stories! i was in Yunnan last fall and rode a horse drawn taxi!! Unfortunately, i spent most of my time in the most spots-- Kunming, Dali and Lijiang. Of the 3, Dali was the best and a lot of people hang out there long term.
The thing is that even in the US, if you visit the most remote, out of the way areas, you'd probably have similar experiences as well. Often the friendliest girls are the ones from small towns or the middle of nowhere. That holds true everywhere.
I wish i had visited more rural areas in China, but frankly as my first trip to China, i was a little afraid, and as China is such as big country with so much to see, it was hard not to keep moving to the next big destination.
When i first started out in China my Mandarin was not very good, but now it is fairly decent.
I'd like to stay in one place for awhile. The only place i got to do that was in Nanning in Guangxi and in Guangzhou.
Not a bad suggestion...
Steve Hoca had a similar experience too.
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