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Back from the dead and in China

Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.

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Postby magnum » Tue Feb 19, 2013 2:55 pm

I guess i probably come of as a guy with no confidence, I was 300 lbs once in my life some scars heal slow, but I'm the personality type that will try even in the face of 100% defeat.


The deal is I don't ask girls out If have had zero interaction with, is that bad?

I did ask this one girl for her number at random, she gave it to me, but was a total bitch, I don't know what that was all about, why even give me your number if your going to tell me to go away right?


The one girl i wanted to go out with for the most said she just wanted to "hang out" and not date, and most my friends friends are taken, it's kind of annoying....just like back home, if your signle and everyone has a girl friend or boy friend its "just not your time" "don't rush it" "let fate do its work"

My buddy I will admit has put more effort in to helping me meet girls than any of my friends or family back home, so in my book the guys gold, though now that he has a girl friend, he's slowly starting to talk to me less and less and I've been on my own more.

I did eat lunch with this one girl I met on a site, she speaks vary good english, but I found it vary odd she wanted me to right off the bat go to her home...I thought chinese girls didn't do that until far later in a RELATIONSHIP I hadnt even met this girl yet, it makes me think she wants sex or something, I saw a picture of her on another dating site, she had no shirt on and was covering her brest with her hand, so I'd imagine that's exactly what was going on.

The problem is I'm just not that attracted to her, she's sweet, awsome personality, but physically though superiour to women from the usa is a little too chubby and just not my type physically, I'm actually a little scared, she wants to hang out again tomorrow, but I don't want to leade her on making her think I'm falling for her, I'm hoping to use her to meet even more people, but still, she's a awsome girl even if I wont be dating her.


I'm serously asking flat out, should I just ask random girls for numbers? the othe day a group of 5 girls who were 5'10 with heals were walking around, probably models or looked like it, I half though of walking up and trying my luck, but one looked over at me and then looked away like she was scared haha, so I scared her or she thought I was attractive or both?

It's too bad I don't have more time in china, my bet is I just don't have a big enough network of people I know to find a girl, along the lines of what you guys were saying.

If I knew chinese I'd be searching for a dance studio or a yoga class, where I would be bound to run in to at least one hot girl, soon though a friend I made said she would take me to her campus, I'm hoping to land some points when that happens if she has some cute friends, she her self my friend said is average, but to me she looks cute at least to me, so we'll see!

soon my phone will be my main computer... I wish my desktip back home was a laptop...
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Postby eurobrat » Tue Feb 19, 2013 3:19 pm

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Last edited by eurobrat on Tue May 28, 2013 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby zboy1 » Tue Feb 19, 2013 6:43 pm

eurobrat wrote:
magnum wrote:I did eat lunch with this one girl I met on a site, she speaks vary good english, but I found it vary odd she wanted me to right off the bat go to her home...I thought chinese girls didn't do that until far later in a RELATIONSHIP I hadnt even met this girl yet, it makes me think she wants sex or something, I saw a picture of her on another dating site, she had no shirt on and was covering her brest with her hand, so I'd imagine that's exactly what was going on.


Wow dude are you intentionally not trying to get laid? You are wtf!

Wtf is wrong with you? Some girl put herself out that much for you and you blew her off? That's a real jackass move mate, you probably made her go home and cry thinking there's something wrong with herself.

You need to drop this relationship and getting married bullshit. Go get laid first and then come back to me and tell me how much you want to get married.

-Eurobrat


He's a Christian and so am I. I don't want no hussy for a wife and neither does he. The actions of this girl screams hussy to me. Everyone has their preference in a women, some more strict than others.
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Postby eurobrat » Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:33 pm

...
Last edited by eurobrat on Tue May 28, 2013 1:40 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Jester » Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:51 pm

magnum wrote:I guess i probably come of as a guy with no confidence, I was 300 lbs once in my life some scars heal slow, but I'm the personality type that will try even in the face of 100% defeat.


The deal is I don't ask girls out If have had zero interaction with, is that bad?

I did ask this one girl for her number at random, she gave it to me, but was a total bitch, I don't know what that was all about, why even give me your number if your going to tell me to go away right?


The one girl i wanted to go out with for the most said she just wanted to "hang out" and not date, and most my friends friends are taken, it's kind of annoying....just like back home, if your signle and everyone has a girl friend or boy friend its "just not your time" "don't rush it" "let fate do its work"

My buddy I will admit has put more effort in to helping me meet girls than any of my friends or family back home, so in my book the guys gold, though now that he has a girl friend, he's slowly starting to talk to me less and less and I've been on my own more.

I did eat lunch with this one girl I met on a site, she speaks vary good english, but I found it vary odd she wanted me to right off the bat go to her home...I thought chinese girls didn't do that until far later in a RELATIONSHIP I hadnt even met this girl yet, it makes me think she wants sex or something, I saw a picture of her on another dating site, she had no shirt on and was covering her brest with her hand, so I'd imagine that's exactly what was going on.

The problem is I'm just not that attracted to her, she's sweet, awsome personality, but physically though superiour to women from the usa is a little too chubby and just not my type physically, I'm actually a little scared, she wants to hang out again tomorrow, but I don't want to leade her on making her think I'm falling for her, I'm hoping to use her to meet even more people, but still, she's a awsome girl even if I wont be dating her.


I'm serously asking flat out, should I just ask random girls for numbers? the othe day a group of 5 girls who were 5'10 with heals were walking around, probably models or looked like it, I half though of walking up and trying my luck, but one looked over at me and then looked away like she was scared haha, so I scared her or she thought I was attractive or both?

It's too bad I don't have more time in china, my bet is I just don't have a big enough network of people I know to find a girl, along the lines of what you guys were saying.

If I knew chinese I'd be searching for a dance studio or a yoga class, where I would be bound to run in to at least one hot girl, soon though a friend I made said she would take me to her campus, I'm hoping to land some points when that happens if she has some cute friends, she her self my friend said is average, but to me she looks cute at least to me, so we'll see!

soon my phone will be my main computer... I wish my desktop back home was a laptop...


Sounds to me like you will be much better off without a computer. Forget the dating sites.

PS Yoga class is a great idea. But - have you gone to church? There are more born-again Christians in China than in the U.S. I think the services are in people's houses. Ask around. Be low-key, but let people know you are there to meet a nice young family girl. Take a wing-man or wing-woman who can translate.

You should have lunch with girls in groups, not one-on-one, or they will charm the pants right off you.

Btw it's completely normal for a girl to use easy sex to charm a guy she admires and knows is available. Check out the story of Ruth and Obed in the Book of Ruth.
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Postby magnum » Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:24 am

I never said I don't judge, I judge with hell fire are you kidding me? times two when it comes to women, because lets face it, they'll shit in your heart and come back for seconds, if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with one, I need to know she's in it for the long run, it's a investment in the rest of my life.


The girl is vary vary nice, I might go to her home if she asks again now that I've met her, but I'm trying not to get laid as you put it, if I wanted to get laid it's so easy.. the hard part is NOT getting laid.


now maybe you'll have a better idea of why I want to get married sooner, for someone with my morality, avoiding it wont accomplish anything, I'm not playing the game, I'm trying to win it.


I have thought about churches actually, one girl I ran in to was christian, but at the time was so drunk and yelling at me in broken englis hwhile trying to mouth feed me popcorn I kind of didn't think she'd take me to bible study hahah....



Hmm, I hate to admit it, but the truth is maybe all women really do want is money.... I sure have all the other qualities a girl would want in a long term relationship, I'm just not rich, the only part of the world where the women seem to be less in to money is the philipines, but that's not even true, they just latch on to any white guy in hopes of him having 5$ rather than 0 in his pocket.


a young friend I made online is coming back in to town soon, she said she'd take me around and we would meet up with some of her girl friends, though its odd hanging around a bunch of teenagers I'm not going to lie it has to be more fun than hanging around a bunch of money hungry 25+ year olds who just drink away the sorrow of being over worked!


I'm headed home on march 5th, back to california for 15 days to say farewell to my friends and family, then off to road island where my buddy says he has some job options lined up, then it's nothing but working my ass off study and gym time for the next 3 to 5 months until I've forged my escape bag of funds and god willing... leave to live in asia and find a beautiful woman, I didn't come this far and try this hard...
Then I'll make up for 15 years of prolonged virginity, though that might be bad for me or my future wifes health Muahah
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Postby Jester » Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:01 am

magnum wrote:a young friend I made online is coming back in to town soon, she said she'd take me around and we would meet up with some of her girl friends, though its odd hanging around a bunch of teenagers I'm not going to lie it has to be more fun than hanging around a bunch of money hungry 25+ year olds who just drink away the sorrow of being over worked!


Now THAT"S how ya do it.
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Postby drealm » Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:38 am

eurobrat wrote:
zboy1 wrote:He's a Christian and so am I. I don't want no hussy for a wife and neither does he. The actions of this girl screams hussy to me. Everyone has their preference in a women, some more strict than others.


I could understand not wanting an all out slut, but him blowing girls off who just wanted to hang out with him more. No wonder he's getting no where. He will never find a wife (if that's his goal) unless he open's up more. He has problems with his weight loss, he's insecure because he lost it too fast and still think's he's fat. In his mind he still thinks he's overweight so he can't handle the attention because he has never had it. His mind is playing tricks on him...:shock:

And this whole virgins only discrimination is completely ridiculous. There are plenty of very nice girls who might have had boyfriends before but the guy turned out to be a loser or it didn't work out.

If you guy's are such devout Christians the why would you judge like that, calling her a hussy? Christianity doesn't teach it's followers to judge like that.

Pot... Kettle... Black...


He's blowing her off because she dressed indecently on a website.

Virgin discrimination isn't ridiculous. I posted a chart here a while back that showed the correlation between divorce rate and # of partners a woman has slept with, it was plainly obvious.
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Postby magnum » Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:24 pm

So I just booked my flight home, annoying over night wait in the airport...but it's worth saving 100$ or so to me, the painful bit is, I'm waiting in tokyo, hahah... I guess I'll see the city from the window and wave goodbye until I return in 4 to 5 months.



I will admit, I depart on march 5th, but I already am starting to wish I could stay here, I'm mostly going back because I want to visit my family before I depart forever, going to live with my friend who's military, I wont have to pay rent, so saving money will be a breeze depending on the job I get, Just gotta focus and maintain discipline.


I've learned a lot this trip, it will help me prepare for the next trip, like getting more time on my visa, making sure I know how to extend it if I can ect, Hell I don't even know the hoops to jump through to get a work visa in china or japan, but I've got some studying to do and work.


I looked up this one program thats a japanese linguistics school, you get 20 classes a week for 3 to 6 weeks or longer, for 3 weeks it would cost me 5k rounded up, but it would be worth it if I have a host family, it would help me get my culture on, and they would prep my dinner and breakfast, not sure if that would be worth it, without any arranged living the classes run about 2300 to 2800, if I did do that, I figure i could try and get a student visa and work while I'm in japan, not a solid plan yet, but I'm trying to work my mind around it while I'm here.


Back home I spent most my days working out and playing video games dreaming of better things to do, today is the first day in china I did the same, my host seems to have lost his drive to speak any english at all to me, or need to get out of the house, unless his friends are involved, but I'll hand it to him... he hasn't been home 2 months, is unemployed and is getting hos nookie on with his girl friend more than most americans do, just shows you how much easier it is to get some in china, at least for the locals.


Today is the first and only day that has ever been comparable to the usa, 1 day out of 60 days, yeah, china is a far better place to exist.
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Postby xiongmao » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:10 pm

I still don't know how you can be in China and not find a gf. Maybe us older guys have it easier though.

There's a lot of competition here for girls younger than 26, both as wives and also as mistresses of rich men.

Me, I reckon Chinese women look their hottest at 28 - 45. Dare I say it that I've also been admiring 50yo women here?

I met a very cute girl tonight, but it was through a friend of a friend. Chinese girls are quite shy, and you need to build a network of contacts. Also Chinese girls won't introduce you to other girls if they want to keep you for themselves.

Why don't you come here and learn Mandarin for a year? The course is about 1600RMB a year, and if you're skint then you can share a room in a dorm for about 1000RMB a month.

Smaller cities are probably cheaper. Chengdu is particularly good.

Men with no game won't have any luck in Japan. And even if you do have a game, if you have no money then you'll be stuck as well. I wasted my time going after Japanese women.

How old are you btw and what age of lady are you going for? Maybe the HA hive mind can resolve your problems.
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Postby zboy1 » Wed Feb 20, 2013 6:55 pm

magnum wrote:So I just booked my flight home, annoying over night wait in the airport...but it's worth saving 100$ or so to me, the painful bit is, I'm waiting in tokyo, hahah... I guess I'll see the city from the window and wave goodbye until I return in 4 to 5 months.



I will admit, I depart on march 5th, but I already am starting to wish I could stay here, I'm mostly going back because I want to visit my family before I depart forever, going to live with my friend who's military, I wont have to pay rent, so saving money will be a breeze depending on the job I get, Just gotta focus and maintain discipline.


I've learned a lot this trip, it will help me prepare for the next trip, like getting more time on my visa, making sure I know how to extend it if I can ect, Hell I don't even know the hoops to jump through to get a work visa in china or japan, but I've got some studying to do and work.


I looked up this one program thats a japanese linguistics school, you get 20 classes a week for 3 to 6 weeks or longer, for 3 weeks it would cost me 5k rounded up, but it would be worth it if I have a host family, it would help me get my culture on, and they would prep my dinner and breakfast, not sure if that would be worth it, without any arranged living the classes run about 2300 to 2800, if I did do that, I figure i could try and get a student visa and work while I'm in japan, not a solid plan yet, but I'm trying to work my mind around it while I'm here.


Back home I spent most my days working out and playing video games dreaming of better things to do, today is the first day in china I did the same, my host seems to have lost his drive to speak any english at all to me, or need to get out of the house, unless his friends are involved, but I'll hand it to him... he hasn't been home 2 months, is unemployed and is getting hos nookie on with his girl friend more than most americans do, just shows you how much easier it is to get some in china, at least for the locals.


Today is the first and only day that has ever been comparable to the usa, 1 day out of 60 days, yeah, china is a far better place to exist.


Tell that to your typical, brainwashed U.S. is #1 American, and they will probably think you're crazy or something.....
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Postby Jackal » Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:21 pm

magnum wrote:I will admit, I depart on march 5th, but I already am starting to wish I could stay here, I'm mostly going back because I want to visit my family before I depart forever, going to live with my friend who's military, I wont have to pay rent, so saving money will be a breeze depending on the job I get, Just gotta focus and maintain discipline.

I've learned a lot this trip, it will help me prepare for the next trip, like getting more time on my visa, making sure I know how to extend it if I can ect, Hell I don't even know the hoops to jump through to get a work visa in china or japan, but I've got some studying to do and work.

That's sad that you couldn't make things work this time, but sometimes that's how trips go...
But just by having the courage to even go to a far-away country like China makes you light-years ahead of most Americans in terms of your view of the world. It sometimes takes a few tries before you find a place which works out for you.

Maybe you should hit the Chinese language courses hard when you get home. If you could read signs and menus and have simple conversations in Chinese the next time you go to China, I would guess that you'd get more out of it.

Good luck
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Postby xiongmao » Thu Feb 21, 2013 3:15 am

Yeah, I met 3 foreigners here and they took me to a restaurant. One of the guys spoke really good Mandarin. He ordered for us. I was so impressed!

He was Middle Eastern. This place is good for Muslim guys - there's a lot of Muslim restaurants and stuff here.

Remember Mandarin is a second language for most people here, and English is maybe the 3rd language.

But really I think any foreigner could do OK for themselves here, especially one who took the effort of learning Chinese.
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Postby drealm » Thu Feb 21, 2013 3:17 am

xiongmao wrote:Yeah, I met 3 foreigners here and they took me to a restaurant. One of the guys spoke really good Mandarin. He ordered for us. I was so impressed!

He was Middle Eastern. This place is good for Muslim guys - there's a lot of Muslim restaurants and stuff here.

Remember Mandarin is a second language for most people here, and English is maybe the 3rd language.

But really I think any foreigner could do OK for themselves here, especially one who took the effort of learning Chinese.


For dating prospects is it better to learn the local dialect or Mardarin?
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Postby xiongmao » Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:05 am

Most people understand Mandarin. I would not know how to go about learning Cantonese or the local dialects - they're incomprehensible.
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