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Back from the dead and in China

Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.

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Postby drealm » Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:03 pm

xiongmao wrote:Most people understand Mandarin. I would not know how to go about learning Cantonese or the local dialects - they're incomprehensible.


If I try speaking Mandarin to a chinese girl but have a heavy accent will this make her lose face in public?
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Postby xiongmao » Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:06 pm

Don't know about that bit it's not gonna be easy to chat up girls on the street here unless you have serious game.
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Postby onethousandknives » Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:09 pm

Heh, 13-15% bodyfat. That's around where I am. Girls in US do seem to like me somewhat, though. But US has the whole weird abs obsession going on.
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Postby eurobrat » Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:10 pm

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Postby onethousandknives » Fri Feb 22, 2013 7:55 pm

eurobrat wrote:Guy's this current obsession with having a girl be a virgin is really creepy and disturbing to have come out of the mouths of such young men.

I know that you have religious values but this is going too far.

Instead you guys should be focused on:

1) How does she treat you? Does she play games with your head on purpose?

2) Does she respect and care about herself (and no having sex once or twice with a boyfriend does not mean she doesn't respect herself)? Does she take care of herself physically?

3) Is she a family oriented girl, i.e. close to her family?

4) Is she educated, does she have a job/career and a vision for the future.

5) What's her thoughts on having children?

6) Is she well traveled and knowledgable about the global world we live in today.

7) What are her requirements for a relationship in contrasts to your's?

And that's it, beyond that I still recommend that you marry a girl at no younger of an age than 35 years old!

Is there anyone of you guys who agree with me?


Well obviously, being a virgin would be ideal, but the thing is, it's really a matter of "let him without sin cast the first stone." None of us here are without sin? Have any of us here never looked at pornography? Sure, it'd be nice in a perfect world to have a virgin wife. That'd be great. But the world is imperfect, and it's been imperfect really. I mean surveys have been taken saying in the USA even in the 1940s and 50s, that like 95% of people had premarital sex. Now it's probably like 99%, so it's even worse, but it's something you should try to forgive and move on. Yes, it's not good, but it's happened, you can't undo it. Just forgive and move on. I've only been on these forums for like, a couple weeks, but I see people advocating going to PH and Thailand for P4P. If you're advocating going and doing that and want a virgin wife, then uh...that's very hypocritical.
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Postby drealm » Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:17 pm

onethousandknives wrote:
eurobrat wrote:Guy's this current obsession with having a girl be a virgin is really creepy and disturbing to have come out of the mouths of such young men.

I know that you have religious values but this is going too far.

Instead you guys should be focused on:

1) How does she treat you? Does she play games with your head on purpose?

2) Does she respect and care about herself (and no having sex once or twice with a boyfriend does not mean she doesn't respect herself)? Does she take care of herself physically?

3) Is she a family oriented girl, i.e. close to her family?

4) Is she educated, does she have a job/career and a vision for the future.

5) What's her thoughts on having children?

6) Is she well traveled and knowledgable about the global world we live in today.

7) What are her requirements for a relationship in contrasts to your's?

And that's it, beyond that I still recommend that you marry a girl at no younger of an age than 35 years old!

Is there anyone of you guys who agree with me?


Well obviously, being a virgin would be ideal, but the thing is, it's really a matter of "let him without sin cast the first stone." None of us here are without sin? Have any of us here never looked at p***? Sure, it'd be nice in a perfect world to have a virgin wife. That'd be great. But the world is imperfect, and it's been imperfect really. I mean surveys have been taken saying in the USA even in the 1940s and 50s, that like 95% of people had premarital sex. Now it's probably like 99%, so it's even worse, but it's something you should try to forgive and move on. Yes, it's not good, but it's happened, you can't undo it. Just forgive and move on. I've only been on these forums for like, a couple weeks, but I see people advocating going to PH and Thailand for P4P. If you're advocating going and doing that and want a virgin wife, then uh...that's very hypocritical.


No it's not, because you're not devirginizing any women. If you go to hookers then you're a better man than someone who knowingly strings along civilian women.

eurobrat, it's a base male instinct to desire exclusive sexual rites. Men want to own their woman and women having slept with another man feels similarly to cukholding. It's also a base male instinct to desire younger women. It unanimous on HA that the west is a a hell hole, however people treat this situation differently. Some western men escape the west only try living out the same liberal lifestyle abroad that trained women to become picky bitches. Other men escape the west and try respecting superior cultures. The first behavior is parasitic and these men are hypocritical because they're slowly grinding down foreign cultures to what America has become. The only reason I can see a man advocating not wanting virgins in a culture where virginity is still considered a sanctity is because he himself wants to enjoy the spoils of ruining women without acknoledging the consequence of his actions.
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Postby eurobrat » Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:46 pm

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Postby drealm » Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:57 pm

eurobrat wrote:
drealm wrote:eurobrat, it's a base male instinct to desire exclusive sexual rites.


I agree, while you're in a relationship though. Demanding it before that and judging a girl based off her prior boyfriends is kind of insane. Give it a chance guy's and maybe you will see thing's like I do.


eurobrat your argument is two fold:

(1) It's unnatural.

If it's unnatural then why are men willing to pay obscene amounts of money for virgins?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/2 ... 10260.html

(2) Even if it natural, it shouldn't be desired.

eurobrat if a society by custom has mostly virgin women, then you're advocating 1 of 2 things:

(a) Men should look for a minority of women who have slept around?

(b) Men should try sleep with lots of virgins to encourage women to become sluts?

So which is it?
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Postby eurobrat » Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:11 pm

...
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Postby drealm » Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:34 pm

eurobrat wrote:
drealm wrote:
eurobrat wrote:
eurobrat your argument is two fold:

(1) It's unnatural.

If it's unnatural then why are men willing to pay obscene amounts of money for virgins?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/2 ... 10260.html

(2) Even if it natural, it shouldn't be desired.

eurobrat if a society by custom has mostly virgin women, then you're advocating 1 of 2 things:

(a) Men should look for a minority of women who have slept around?

(b) Men should try sleep with lots of virgins to encourage women to become sluts?

So which is it?


1) If anyone really believes that this girl is auctioning off her virginity for charity then you are sadly mistaken. The Japanese guy is obviously a very rich fool with too much money. One could have 1000's of virgins from Brazil, Philippines, Columbia etc for what he paid. But once again she didn't do it for charity she did it for monetary value. So your telling me her v****a is worth $0 after sleeping with one guy?

2) Niether, I don't think you understand what I am saying. Just because a girl has had a past boyfriend at say age 24 and slept with him does not by any means make her a slut. I would find it normal at that age to at least have one sexual partner.

I think you often judge too harshly and too quickly.


Whether she did it or not is irrelevant. The point is:

She very deliberately marketed herself as a "virgin". By your own words "she did it for monetary value". She could of marketed herself as a "young attractive girl", "hot brazilian girl" or anything else but she didn't. Yet according to your logic most men don't value virginity. If this is the case then why did she make the effort marketing herself as a virgin if there's no perceived value? It doesn't matter whether she herself values virginity or not, what matters is that her actions show that she perceives most men value virginity and she wanted to selfishly cash in on that.

eurobrat, I'll rephrase the question. You're starting with the assumption that most women are not virgins by X age. Let's suppose the age in American society is 15 and only 2% of women are virgins by 24. However let's create another society where it's the opposite and 98% of women are virgins by 24. So in this society would you (a) date the 2% of women who are not virgins? (b) choose one virgin and marry her? (c) sleep around with as many virgins as you feel like?
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Postby eurobrat » Sat Feb 23, 2013 12:31 am

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Postby magnum » Sat Feb 23, 2013 12:55 am

The girl who sold her virginity isn't worth zero because she isn't a virgin, she's wroth zero because you just don't sell something like that.


I will date a girl who isn't a virgin, however, we're talking about the kind of girl who regret having slept with her ex-boyfriend and hasn't been with more than one or two men, and even then, that is far from ideal, each man she sleeps with devalues you, physically and emotionally to her, not to mention you don't share something pure, it's gone forever, and you will never be anything but the "after my first, second boy friend" when it comes to sex.


It's about what it means, not literally what it is.


Women who aren't virgins are far more pick, compare everything even on a subliminal level, and sexually you'll always be compared and no that isn't some hidden underlined insecurity, I'm confident it wont matter when it comes to the physical aspect.

Besides, In never said a girl who isn't a virgin has no value, what I said in so many words is....

I am worth more than a woman who isn't a virgin, so I rather not be with a woman who made the choice to lose her V card because her boyfriend said "baby baby oh, baby baby no"


As for abs, All women like them more or less, I just think the priority list is out of order in the usa, I had them for a vary long time, after china I have them still but vary poorly defined, it's a mark of a guy who has self control, or at lest if he's carrying around extra muscle, otherwise you're probably just blessed, and ultra low body fat without effort.

my body fat was 7% after christmas it jumped to 9, in china it probably hit 11% or so, I plan on getting the abs back while I work my way to japan.

Trust me guys women from all over the world value good looks and a good body, one of the best things you can do for your FACE is lose weight, I wouldn't have even gone to china if I looked the way I used to.




Back on the subject of my trip in china, I have a little update.

Me and my friend might team up with a third party and open up a gaming center, play station 3,s a few sofas, rent a place, and charge 20 rmb a hour, it prints money, and it's a interest of mine, the only problem is, my friend said we all have to throw in 5k USD, sounds like a risk, even more so if I'm to ever get to japan in a realistic time frame, but if it works...it would be brilliant.

A few other ideas are flaoting around, but china is a opportunity mine field, you just have to have funds to start a good project, in the usa you need far more to even think about getting started.
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Postby drealm » Sat Feb 23, 2013 1:26 am

eurobrat wrote:
drealm wrote:She very deliberately marketed herself as a "virgin". By your own words "she did it for monetary value". She could of marketed herself as a "young attractive girl", "hot brazilian girl" or anything else but she didn't. Yet according to your logic most men don't value virginity. If this is the case then why did she make the effort marketing herself as a virgin if there's no perceived value? It doesn't matter whether she herself values virginity or not, what matters is that her actions show that she perceives most men value virginity and she wanted to selfishly cash in on that.

eurobrat, I'll rephrase the question. You're starting with the assumption that most women are not virgins by X age. Let's suppose the age in American society is 15 and only 2% of women are virgins by 24. However let's create another society where it's the opposite and 98% of women are virgins by 24. So in this society would you (a) date the 2% of women who are not virgins? (b) choose one virgin and marry her? (c) sleep around with as many virgins as you feel like?


Well only the freaks value this that much. Plenty of guy's don't think the same way you do. I would just date the girls who treated me right and I was compatible with.

Why is that so hard to understand?


eurobrat if she was targeting freaks she could of marketed herself by some special fetish. She was only in it for the money and she made the widest appeal possible to generate the most possible money. So if a freak has the widest appeal, how is that a freak? This is a contradiction.

A girl who treated you right could could fall into any one of those scenarios. Does this mean you're okay with all three scenarios including (c)? I don't find any of the choices hard to understand but I'm not clear on which choice you want.

I suspect part of the reason some men don't place value on women's virginity is because a very chaste society is also usually tied to a very conservative society. In a conservative society men need to compete as providers for women because women won't give themselves away so easily. Some men are lazy and don't want to compete as providers, so they prefer a liberal climate where women don't value providers.
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Postby xiongmao » Sat Feb 23, 2013 11:51 am

This thread is wandering a bit. All I'll say is that of the Chinese girls I've dated... it's way easier to get things moving with the non-virgins. If you're a guy coming here on a short trip to meet ladies, don't bother with the virgins.

It's possible to start a business in China, but if you've not started a business in your own country, what makes you think it will be possible here? If you're a Westerner here then EVERYONE here wants your $$$$.

Really there are only two easy options for living here - study or teach English.
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Postby magnum » Sat Feb 23, 2013 2:36 pm

I didn't even get to the point of knowing if they were virgins or not, I would have still dated a non-virgin.


you've been in china a fraction of the time I was and you've already landed what seems like 3 to 4 date, you defiantly have more experience than I do, I always think I"m not being aggressive enough or too aggressive, though I admit I didn't get that many chances while here, and the gym seems to be full of people who are fat rather than in shape, so much for hitting on cute chinese girls that exercise haha.


At this point, I don't think I'll ever gather the experience required to date in any normal way, I'm far too old and in far too much of a time squeeze to learn how to "play" the game correctly, and I"m too honest for that bs anyway.


Besides that i"m not willing to go out with ugly girls, so... catch 22!


Honestly though after the new year passed I mentally had already left china, now it's just a waiting game, I spent most my time the last 3 days just trying to keep in shape and on the computer, the trip kinda fizzled out on me, I can only march through the same 3 mega malls so many times, I guess bar hopping the rest of the time I"m here is a option, but that just seems like a bad idea after my last few experiences.

English teaching isn't for me, if I have to do it, I"ll do it as minimally as I can, my legacy isn't going to be a "desperate for any white guy that speaks english so you'll have to do" position at a school, the only up side that might bring is hitting on a few cute girls, but that's a fast way to get fired too I'd imagine haha.
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