Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


I went to live in China... ask me anything!

Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby xiongmao » Sat Mar 30, 2013 1:26 pm

Hooray, I had a date tonight. Well the girl was lovely but maybe a bit tall for me (she was 5' 4" and quite heavily built). On the plus side she has lovely skin, full lips and a beautiful voice. Well if anyone likes curvy Chinese girls then I'll do some introductions.

Again Cantonese girls are really lovely and in my opinion the pick of the bunch. This was a bit (well a lot) of a disastrous date though. Firstly she spoke little English and my kindergarten Mandarin is not much use beyond telling her how many brothers and sisters I have and that kind of stuff! Yeah, 5 minutes in and I'm all out of material!!!

Secondly, well before the date today I was downtown doing a bit of scouting out of the wholesale markets. Anyway, I was in the 8 floor One Link emporium in Haizhu for an hour or two. So I got outside and it was pitch black, and I was like, WTF it's only 2:15!!! Well that was my 10 minute warning of the most enormous thunderstorm imaginable. I don't know if anyone else has seen such monstrous thunderclouds - we never get them in the UK. I guess warm moist air from the South China sea colliding with cool dry air from Himalayas makes for some huge storms.

Well sadly my "waterproof" shoes did not survive 2, maybe 3 inches of rain, and I had to go to my date wearing a cheap pair of plastic sandals.

Grrr. Well I don't know what the shoe answer is, maybe I'll buy a pair of Crocs. The Japanese answer is to spend billions of yen on drainage systems. The Chinese answer appears to be to not go outside when it's raining!

Well as you can see in this thread, there's no such thing as an ordinary day in China.

Tomorrow I go to Shenzhen (which I've never visited before) and will hopefully meet another lady I've been chatting to. This one is an alpha female and I'm gonna have my hands full with her. Still, at least she speaks fluent English! And I can also settle the argument about which city has the best women.

In answer to fightforlove:

1. Get into China on a work or study visa. Also tourist visas are available but they're only valid for 30 days. For studying, well learning Chinese is the obvious thing to do here. You can study other stuff but to be honest Chinese higher education is not yet world beating. My Mandarin course costs about 9000RMB a semester for tuition. So quite expensive but cheaper than Western Universities. To work here is very difficult as the Chinese government needs jobs for Chinese people. The easiest ways in are teaching foreign languages (e.g. English) or being an academic at Associate Professor level.

2. Find a foreign company who can bring you in, but remember that Chinese Universities churn out hundreds of thousands of engineers a year. Yes all such companies will use Mandarin, although the guys who built some of the Guangzhou metro were using German.

2a. There are "ways round" everything in China and if you have the money, you'll be able to get a visa.

3. I'm not dating the students, partly because of professional work/social life divide, but also because they're too young for me really. I've made a couple of friends there though, well I'll see where that goes. I've mostly met ladies from online dating, plus friends of friends. Other options are bars, clubs and just chatting to people met in real life. As my Mandarin improves and I find good places to make girls then these options will open up to me.

4. I'm 41 and I've dated women from 28-36. All the ladies I've dated have been graduates. They're generally single because they're considered overweight, or not beautiful, or too alpha, or have dark skin, or generally have nasty personalities. Well the ones with nasty personalities are easy enough to screen out through online dating, no need to meet them in person to confirm their toxicity. As for looks well Asians have much different ideas of beauty like things about nose shapes and eyelids. That girl I dated tonight was a little chubby but my Western brain tells me she'd be able to give birth to really big and strong babies. Some girls are just too picky as well, and I know a couple of girls who have turned down many Chinese guys only to find out that their value in the dating market plunges as they hit their early 30's.

Westerners will only really date middle-upper class women here. The lower classes speak no English and quite honestly the cultural differences are so immense that they may as well be a different species. Also the lower classes here tend to have bad habits like spitting and often their voices are quite harsh and rasping - yeah you wouldn't like to be nagged by that.

By the way the upper classes do look down on the lower classes, much more so than we would in the West, but less than Indians do with their caste system.

I've met some terrific ladies so far and a couple of potential wives. Chinese women are fairly faithful (as far as women can be) and if you have enough money to satisfy her then you'll be OK. Many girls here just want a baby or two and aren't interested in shopping or spending your money. I've got a weakness for "fashion ladies", well I'm sure I'll learn my lesson but they're just so much fun to be with.

5. Mandarin is the one to learn, Cantonese is pretty much impossible to learn unless you're a native speaker of tonal languages. Few Chinese outside Guangdong will know Cantonese, although Cantonese music is very popular because the 9 tones make the language so beautiful to listen to (but not to my ears!!!!!!). Mandarin is taught in all schools but older people might not speak it. Most business people in Guangzhou speak Cantonese and Cantonese people favour other Cantonese.
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then check out my free Asian dating site.
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2536
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:09 pm
Location: London







Postby Seeker » Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:44 am

Xiongmao how much are your monthly expenses? Including your tuition fees and rent.
Seeker
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 268
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2010 8:46 pm

Postby xiongmao » Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:36 am

Tuition is about 9000RMB a semester (Feb-June or Sept-Jan), with a few extras like books (205RMB) and body check for the visa (548RMB). Also you need to pay for wifi in the University if you want it.

Most Universities here charge the same. Private language schools seem to be a lot more expensive.

I'm paying 1200RMB a month for my 2 bedroom apartment in a private student apartment building. Extras (internet, lift, water, electricity, garbage disposal) bump it up to 1500RMB a month. You'd be hard pushed to find a cheaper apartment without sharing or living somewhere you're not really supposed to.

Most Universities have accommodation on campus, but mine only has shared rooms. If you're in your 20's its fine but as an older guy I'd feel a but out of place. Plus Universities are still quite conservative, and they frown upon alcohol or bringing girls into your room. In my apartment building anything goes, and there are couples here, oddballs, people with dogs and cats and plenty of people who aren't even students!

I've had to buy a few things for my apartment, like bedding and stuff for cleaning and washing. Some stuff is cheap, like the pole to hang your washing up is 2RMB.

How much you spend on food is up to you. Foreign food is expensive here, apart from McDonalds which is 17RMB for a meal (I like the double cheeseburgers best). Some restaurants charge just 8RMB for a meal, but if you go to them a lot you're gonna have to factor in a bigger expenditure on toilet rolls. Lmao.

Travel is VERY cheap here. The Guangzhou bus is 2RMB per journey. The metro is a bit more. Make 15 journeys a month here and you get a 40% discount on further journeys.

I must say though that China isn't that cheap. Maybe nowhere in the world is cheap anymore. Sure, food is cheaper here but the cheapest stuff is total crap like sausages filled with preservatives, or stuff that only Chinese people like (e.g. chicken feet, tree bark). Also fruit and veg is generally lower quality at home and in the case of red onions they're actually CHEAPER in England!!!

Altogether I'm trying to spend around $900 a month.

Note that you CANNOT work here on a student visa. Of course you can unofficially hustle for an income. In this case it's better to do stuff like exporting stuff to your own country, or internet stuff. Don't get caught teaching or translating, you'll be deported (especially if caught twice).
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then check out my free Asian dating site.
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2536
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:09 pm
Location: London

Postby fightforlove » Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:13 pm

Thanks for the info! What industries are the main engines of the economy in Guangzhou? I was in Hong Kong when I was a boy and I really liked it, although if mandarin is the language to learn why not live somewhere further north where it's native tongue? Heard that Shanghai has a lot of fashionable women who like to date westerners.
fightforlove
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 525
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:41 pm
Location: on an adventure between Wisconsin and Jalisco

Postby xiongmao » Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:07 am

I went to Shanghai and hated it. Bad food, expensive prices and it was freezing cold in Winter. On top of that the local women expect to be the dominant partner in a relationship.

In China Beijing is for politics, Shanghai for finance and Guangzhou for international trade.

Foreigners love Guangzhou and there are a lot here (but they're still a rare sight). Foreigners here tend to be Western expats overseeing factories or exports, English teachers, Russians (men and women), Africans, Arabs, and students from a mixture of countries (especially Koreans). Most foreigners here are pretty smart, and there aren't any mongers to speak of (like you would see in Thailand or the Philippines).

On the downside, expect some ferocious weather and tremendous overcrowding at times. Also there's not a lot of English spoken or written.

As far as ladies go, well they're a mixture of local Cantonese and migrants. Cantonese girls are very attractive, and fashion trendsetters for the rest of the country. Also they often have nice mild personalities. After them, the majority of women here are from Hunan, Sichuan and Hubei Provinces. Hunan girls tend to be the best educated, and more likely to date Westerners. I've dated a lot of Hunan girls now. They're attractive and pretty intelligent. Sichuan girls rarely speak English and I've still not dated any.

Mandarin is such a hard language to learn, not least because few people speak the dialect that is taught in schools and Universities. Take the word "frog". There are half a dozen different words that are used depending on where you live. Sheesh. Oh, and in Shanghai the locals don't speak Mandarin either.
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then check out my free Asian dating site.
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2536
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:09 pm
Location: London

Postby Cornfed » Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:16 am

You said ask anything, so, does the municipal government where you are pay dirtbags to ride around on pick-up trucks letting off firecrackers during the day, and if so do you know why the hell they do that?
Cornfed
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4633
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:22 am

Postby xiongmao » Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:17 pm

Strange question, but the Guangzhou government are quite strict on stuff. Firecrackers are allowed, but they're mostly used by stores as a good luck thing. Fireworks appear to be banned here.

The only trucks you need to look out for are those cleaning the streets or watering the plants. Keep out of their way or you'll get a good soaking!!!
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then check out my free Asian dating site.
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2536
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:09 pm
Location: London

Postby fightforlove » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:07 pm

Shanghai locals still speak Shanghainese? Also very different from Mandarin?

Yep, I've heard that those Cantonese babes are fashionable and sexy. I knew an international student from Hong Kong who was, albeit a little pudgy by Chinese standards, absolutely rockin'!!

Damn I want to go there.
fightforlove
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 525
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:41 pm
Location: on an adventure between Wisconsin and Jalisco

Postby xiongmao » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:12 am

Yes Cantonese girls rock! Current fashion is for skirts so short they practically show ass. And due to the amount of rain, platform heels are very popular.

Shanghai locals do speak Shanghainese. Mandarin is taught in schools, but Chinese people rarely use it unless the person they're talking to doesn't understand their local dialect.

Hmm, I recharged my travel card today and spoke only Mandarin to do it. Slowly I'm making progress.

What else?

Well there was more torrential rain this morning. Sheesh, it I've realised that if it rains, Chinese people just don't go outside unless it's absolutely essential.

I have 5 new mosquito bites, I'm thinking I should just walk around in a Burqua.

It's so darned humid here my salt is ruined already and my mirror has steamed up.

Still, I'm pleased that it's staying quite cool in my apartment and it's a nice refuge from the heat. Actually it's not that warm here (maybe 22C today) but if we ever see the sun (a rare sight here) then it gets scorching.
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then check out my free Asian dating site.
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2536
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:09 pm
Location: London

Postby xiongmao » Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:51 pm

Wow, I've been in China for 2 months already.

Man am I in for some major culture shock when I return to the UK in July!

Well this is a crazy place, no doubt about that.

I saw Chinese traffic #6 today. No idea if anyone was killed. I see a lot of police here, but there are very few ambulances. Don't ever come to SE Asia without health insurance. I have two policies!!!

There really is no concept of personal safety here. People cross the road while texting, and there are just so many things waiting for you to fall over.

It's getting hot here. Our teacher allowed us to put the aircon on in the classroom. However, Cantonese ladies are still wearing Winter clothes.

The air is bad at the moment. I'm not really used to heat and humidity. Today it's like trying to breathe in soup.

Well if you come to SE Asia, you'll miss the sweet, clean air of Northern Europe or the USA.

Once my Chinese improves, then I could move to a cleaner part of the country.

The word on the street is that it is incredibly hard to get a Chinese visa now. Well China's loss is Thailand/Philippines gain.

I've seen some nice Thai girls recently. Maybe I need to go visit Thailand.

I had another date a couple of days ago. Again, a lovely, lovely girl. Maybe too nice for me in fact.

It was a watershed moment because for the first time my Mandarin was better than my date's English.

It was hard work though and we barely spoke! I have a heck of a lot of work to do on my studying. But I am improving.

One big incentive is that the teacher for the class above mine is very hot.

Oh, one other thing is that I've found other ways of meeting ladies. It's proving tough work to find out about dating events, but they do exist here.

Well there are opportunities here, but it's not an easy place to come and live.
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then check out my free Asian dating site.
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2536
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:09 pm
Location: London

Postby Pinaylover » Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:51 pm

xiongmao wrote:Hmm, so much stuff is going on here.

I met a member of the communist party today. Here, who you know is VERY important.

Also I heard about another teaching job - that's two I've heard of now. The thing is there are probably less than 100 native English speakers at my University. Yes, lots of people speak English, but it's native speakers that are the most in demand here.

I don't even have a teaching qualification, but if you're a native speaker and you're a graduate of a good University then you don't really need one.

I also met another English teacher. This seems to be a great job for guys in their 50's and 60's who want to do something with their lives. In general, the University I'm studying at seems to like teachers who are at least 40. Schools probably prefer younger teachers.

I need to suss out the implications of working on a student visa. From what I've heard, getting caught working here is a case of two strikes and you're deported. But there might be ways round it.

However, I'm not just here to work/study. I've also found a wing man, and I'm looking forward to hitting the bars with him in search of perfect 10's who our moms wouldn't like us to bring home. Lol.


Your right its all about who you know in China, and you can get away with working because of it, face is the most important aspect of Chinese culture and who you know determines if you can gain enough face for the authorities to look past your working. Bribes gain you face as well. I have also heard the best way to do it is to work under the table as a private tutor. If you haven't been asked already you will probably be propositioned for such an arrangement soon. It also a great way to meet Chinese girls who want to practice their English and you may even get a relationship out of it.

The girl you met who said that they are scared to talk to foreigners because they will lose face. That is absolutely spot on. In order to meet quality girls you need to earn face by building your network. Once you have connect and made a friend they will in turn introduce you to their friends. That's why I don't get when Winston was bitching about not being able to pick up Taiwanese girls on the street or in bars. He is Asian and has lived in Taiwan. He should know they ignore him to save face, its not cold its reality. They don't wanna be seen as easy or flirtatious. My advice is always try become a friend with people and then use their network to meet girls. You will be surprised at the quality girls you will meet that way. And because you have face with their friend they have trust for you from the beginning.

That said you have to know its a 2 way street and be respectful to the person they introduced or it will come back on you and the person who introduced you, an you will both lose face.
Last edited by Pinaylover on Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Pinaylover
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 94
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:36 pm
Location: Makati, NCR Philippines

Postby Pinaylover » Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:45 pm

xiongmao wrote: I don't even know why they paint the bases of the trees white
They do it in PI, Mexico as well... it keeps the bugs off the trees.
User avatar
Pinaylover
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 94
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:36 pm
Location: Makati, NCR Philippines

Postby Pinaylover » Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:31 pm

publicduende wrote:I have never liked (mainland) Chinese women, and not even the men for that matter. Virtually all mainland Chinese I met are cold, pragmatic and bossy. An effect of the single child policy? Or their default tiger moms? Or their obsessive emphasis on all things material, without a hint of a genuine feeling slipping through the cracks (including those between their legs)? Dunno.

XiongMao, I have been thinking of writing this short message to you for a while. By no means I intend to poo-poo on your expectations of learning Mandarin and finding a good wife in China. It's all very plausible. The problems I see with Guangzhou are mainly those you yourself sniffed and described in your previous posts:

1) it's one of the most heavily industrialised and polluted cities in the world, and this reflects on quality of air, water, and food (which is grown under that air, soil and water);

2) from what I could see (briefly) during my 2008 stint there, it's a poster child of the scary wealth gap you can find all over China - you will find the most destitute girls a second world country can give you, sharing turf with scions of millionaire families, upper middle class and wannabe middle class girls (the worst, IMO); OK to wax lyrical about their glamourous outfits, perfect white legs and peach bums, but what good does it do if it's "look but do not touch"?

3) assuming you do find a young woman who would capture your heart and make a good wife, can you ensure that she wouldn't turn into another career-obsessed tiger like AbcDavid's mom? Can you ensure she would be hot stuff in the sack and not see sex as a necessary evil to keep you happy? Can you ensure she won't easily get tired of the kind of lifestyle that, as an English teacher on relatively modest means, you will be able to afford her, and start bitching about you being unable to provide her the same kind of glamorous life as her friends'?

I think your plan is grand and life-sized, and I do wish you all the best. I may be wrong and in fact will be happy to be proven wrong...it's just that, for what I know and have seen and met across the spectrum of Asian cultures, China just won't cut in terms of women's warmth, truthfulness, and ability to bond based on real feelings, rather than social/financial opportunities. Cave canem.


Great Points.. given your experience where would you recommend?
User avatar
Pinaylover
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 94
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:36 pm
Location: Makati, NCR Philippines

Postby Pinaylover » Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:31 pm

publicduende wrote:I have never liked (mainland) Chinese women, and not even the men for that matter. Virtually all mainland Chinese I met are cold, pragmatic and bossy. An effect of the single child policy? Or their default tiger moms? Or their obsessive emphasis on all things material, without a hint of a genuine feeling slipping through the cracks (including those between their legs)? Dunno.

XiongMao, I have been thinking of writing this short message to you for a while. By no means I intend to poo-poo on your expectations of learning Mandarin and finding a good wife in China. It's all very plausible. The problems I see with Guangzhou are mainly those you yourself sniffed and described in your previous posts:

1) it's one of the most heavily industrialised and polluted cities in the world, and this reflects on quality of air, water, and food (which is grown under that air, soil and water);

2) from what I could see (briefly) during my 2008 stint there, it's a poster child of the scary wealth gap you can find all over China - you will find the most destitute girls a second world country can give you, sharing turf with scions of millionaire families, upper middle class and wannabe middle class girls (the worst, IMO); OK to wax lyrical about their glamourous outfits, perfect white legs and peach bums, but what good does it do if it's "look but do not touch"?

3) assuming you do find a young woman who would capture your heart and make a good wife, can you ensure that she wouldn't turn into another career-obsessed tiger like AbcDavid's mom? Can you ensure she would be hot stuff in the sack and not see sex as a necessary evil to keep you happy? Can you ensure she won't easily get tired of the kind of lifestyle that, as an English teacher on relatively modest means, you will be able to afford her, and start bitching about you being unable to provide her the same kind of glamorous life as her friends'?

I think your plan is grand and life-sized, and I do wish you all the best. I may be wrong and in fact will be happy to be proven wrong...it's just that, for what I know and have seen and met across the spectrum of Asian cultures, China just won't cut in terms of women's warmth, truthfulness, and ability to bond based on real feelings, rather than social/financial opportunities. Cave canem.


Great Points.. given your experience where would you recommend?
User avatar
Pinaylover
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 94
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:36 pm
Location: Makati, NCR Philippines

Postby Pinaylover » Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:58 pm

xiongmao wrote:
"It's so darned humid here my salt is ruined already and my mirror has steamed up.



Put some grains of uncooked rice in your salt shaker (about 1/8th total volume), sucks up the moisture and keeps it from sticking together. Take shaving cream and wipe your mirror down with it. Then wipe it off with a dry towel. It should help it from getting steamed up.

Oh yeah speaking of food can you post some pics of the Chinese cuisine you are eating? From what I here the noodle houses are excellent. We have one in north Austin, TX that is a dirty hole in the wall but they serve what I think to be the most authentic noodles I have ever seen and they are always busy. The menu is in Chinese w/ pictures.

eating any good noodle soups there?
User avatar
Pinaylover
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 94
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:36 pm
Location: Makati, NCR Philippines

PreviousNext

Return to Trip Reports, Travel Experiences, Expat Stories

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest