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Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.
8 posts • Page 1 of 1
I went to the Philippines for the first time in my life last October. I was there for two weeks and got to see a lot of beautiful landscapes, beautiful girls and sweet people. Of course there was also the bone-crushing poverty, the insane traffic and the filth and pollution that permeated everything in many areas. The PI is definitely a Third World shock to a First Worlder's system.
I went out there to meet a specific girl whom I had met online. I'm definitely looking for marriage and settling down and having a family, so my priorities are a bit different than perhaps the average poster.
Anyways, while hanging out with this girl, who was sweet and nice and fairly good-looking, I had the unfortunate feeling that I could be doing a bit better. The number of extremely good-looking women at the higher-end malls was mind-boggling. I think I fell in love a thousand times. The girl I was with was from the country, way out in the boonies of Masbate. Of course her family was poor, but they were very friendly and welcoming.
The problem with the girl I went to see was that she simply wasn't very confident in herself. Her mother was domineering and it made the girl's personality a somewhat fragile. I was looking for a girl with a bit more intestinal fortitude and one who wasn't as prone to stressing out (I have a stressful job, so the last thing I need is a stressed-out companion).
She was okay in the sack, more eager than able. As I said, she was good-looking, but not stunning. I wouldn't be spending hours admiring the structure of her face or the fineness of her body. Her cousin now... haha, that was a different story! Her cousin was straight-up the hotness, with long, straightened hair, large, light brown eyes, and a little extra in the right places. She was smart and witty and definitely confident in herself and her appearance, in contrast to the girl I was with. I found myself being much more attracted to the cousin than the girl I was with.
As it was, there was no chance with the cousin, nor would I try such a maneuver. But she made my brain light up in ways that the girl I had gone there to see did not. I had to break off the relationship with that girl soon after I got back to The World.
Now I realize what I did wrong: I concentrated on a SINGLE girl instead of MANY girls. I'm not interested in some kind of sex tourist tour, but I think it would be good to meet a bunch of different women on a single trip and THEN start an online relationship with those that intrigued me. That's the plan going forward. I will go out there again this Fall to try to do it the right way this time. Let's hope I hit paydirt.
Don't feel bad, I feel like you. I am a one girl guy, and so I feel what you mean. I guess the way I look at is worse comes to worse I found a new home (Davao), and I will be able to settle down, regardless if it is with this girl or not. So yeah, look for more than just the girl, look for a lifestyle.
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I think your strategy (meeting multiple girls) is a good one but not always easy to do. What I mean is that I met many Pinays online from a variety of places (dating sites, Facebook, etc.) with the intention of meeting a number of girls in PI and comparing. But at least in my case, after chatting online plenty, one girl would always rise to the top. That of course doesn't mean she is the right girl but it is hard to keep it all casual before you arrive. You should tell the women right from the start that you will be meeting other girls so there is no doubt. Some women will accept that and some will not. Ironically some of the girls who will not accept this are the good girls who might be wife material.
My current gf was such a girl. I asked her if she would like to meet me back in 2011. She wanted to but knew I would be meeting others and decided she did not want to be one of many. Nearly a year later (by now we were good friends) I asked her again to meet. Again she very much wanted to meet but was hesitant since I again made it clear that I would meet others. Finally she agreed to meet me and spend a few days together, knowing that I would travel elsewhere and meet other girls. Since that trip would only be for a week I compromised and finally agree to spend time with her only. The story's more complex (and funny) than that but in the end I made the right choice in choosing to concentrate on her.
As to all the good looking girls issue; this is personal taste. As you will see if you read postings and threads here on HA, some guys here do not think Filipinas are attractive at all and some think only an occasional one is attractive. I am closer to your view and have met many attractive girls. I think it is very easy to find a good looking girl who is also a good girl. OTOH if the girl is phenomenal with model or actress looks, you might want to be careful. But who knows. I know some guys with wives and gfs who are very attractive, at least to my way of thinking.
So keep an open mind. Maybe you will return in the fall and meet many or maybe by then one will seem more special than the others. Good luck!
Man, I can relate with you. I had a pinay Gf in London and I thought she was hot, when I first got to the Phillies, it turned out hotter women can be had though it requires some effort to find them and woo them. The thing is, I am sure hot or good looking women can be found again and again but a woman who has the qualities you would want to be with for a long time or a real relationship isn't that many.
Take for instance my 2nd pinay GF, she is a 9 in face and body but I soon found out her attitude and character is way below my standard. The girl I was dating a few months back is an actress in the Phillies, more or less a 9-9.5 but she's not long term or girl friend material. The girl I really like now is may be 7 or 7.5 in face and curves, if she takes care of herself she can be 8 (god I hope she doesn't find out about this lol), she ain't curvy or tall enough to really turn my head if I see her walking in the mall but she got a good 10 heart and a great 9.5 personality. Will I swap her for a 9.5 in face and body? No thanks, but then I know us men have different priorities.
I don't know about the OP but may be it would be better to settle or live in the Phillies a few months if he is sincere in finding a long term relationship. Oftentimes the best gems are not those that sparkle the most outwardly, but those that you mine and polish for yourself.
Well done for getting off your ass and actually going to the Phillies!
I spent a few trips going to Asia to meet potential wives, only to realise that I couldn't make that kind of life changing decision in a couple of weeks.
So I saved my money, quit my job, sold my possessions and now here I am in China.
I think I would advise any guy in your position to meet many girls and be clear in your mind how hot a girl you could hope to have a good marriage to. I've dated some absolutely stunning women, but to be honest the average looking girls have the biggest hearts.
On the other hand a man always likes to know his wife is a little out of his league.
I'm still finding my own limits in Asia. I've seen very few Westerners with Chinese gf's here. In fact I've only spoken to one the whole time I've been here. Maybe I've seen more Asian guys with western girlfriends, which rather knocks on the head the whole yellow fever/stealing their women thing.
I quit my boring cubicle slave job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
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I am actually planning to visit philippines in the fall too probably for 2 weeks.
I am using Cherry Blossoms to meet some filipinas but most of them I find really bland and boring to talk to.
For the guys that have been there before, as a white 28 year old vacationing in Philippines, how easy is it to get dates and action by simply roaming around town in bars, clubs, malls, etc?
Bravo, get what you want! If you deny yourself you can only upset with yourself. Of course the feeling has to be mutual, I'm sure you know this.
You'll need to spend more time in-country however because from what I have seen, what you'll find online are the ones close to total desperation, that's why I said CLOSE and the majority of rural areas.
That said, you should attack a web site and have at least 20-30-50-100 women lined up. The truth is roughly a 1/3 of them will never show up, another 1/3 won't like what they see and that would leave you with bit more than half the women that you contacted and have responded to you.
The reasons why tours succeed for those that are focused and realistic, is because they are exposed to more women than they'll ever contact by himself.
You can duplicate this effect by lining up dates yourself, but you'll need to contacts at least 100 women or more.