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Back to China in July

Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.

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Postby magnum » Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:10 am

She knows i don't have money, it seems she's never in need and buys herself new dresses often.
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Postby magnum » Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:20 am

She has expressed she wants me to get a career and in oneo of are last conversations she said "i hope you can find a job in china" so...im thinking she's on the level...honestly, after what you said about "doing things" insted of saying things, i noticed she expressed her feelings far more in person, so that gives me hope. I don't talk to other girls i've told her that, and i asked her to delete her dateing account and she did...but who knows. Im ready to move to china and teach english if this girl is going to marry me, i told her we need to learn about eachother and come to a choice about are future after my month stay with her, she agreed. Sorry for the really bad post, im on my cell phone
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:43 am

magnum wrote:She knows i don't have money, it seems she's never in need and buys herself new dresses often.


Then her family has at least some money, which is good. Maybe they will give you guys several thousands in a hongbao when you get married. This is also a good sign for you too in terms of she probably loves you.
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:50 am

magnum wrote:She has expressed she wants me to get a career and in oneo of are last conversations she said "i hope you can find a job in china" so...im thinking she's on the level...honestly, after what you said about "doing things" insted of saying things, i noticed she expressed her feelings far more in person, so that gives me hope. I don't talk to other girls i've told her that, and i asked her to delete her dateing account and she did...but who knows. Im ready to move to china and teach english if this girl is going to marry me, i told her we need to learn about eachother and come to a choice about are future after my month stay with her, she agreed. Sorry for the really bad post, im on my cell phone


Yep! Chinese women are extremely predictable once you learn the culture. They are systematically groomed to express love like that. Which is better really, because we all know AW tell you they love you, but stab you in the back the second you turn around. She sounds like your average good girl that just wants to encourage and support you as the wife. If she even deleted her dating account with no fight or drama that is great news too. In some ways you may wanted to record or keep your profiles in case you want to do a K1 or K2 visa later on, as proof of relationship of how you met, but meh, you can use other stuff as long as you list that website you met on as the broker or agent of how you met.
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Postby magnum » Tue Jun 25, 2013 5:15 pm

Just a small update.

I got my ticket for july 11th, and I will be heading down to L.A to get my visa started, I'm annoyed that they want you to buy the ticket before you get the visa.


My girl friend is far more chatty now that she isn't overwhelmed by school, I'm looking forward to this trip no matter what the outcome, I enjoyed china last time, I'm sure with it not being frozen I'll have a even more enjoyable time, even in a smaller town, not sure exactly what the name of it is, but we'll be taking the train from shenyang.

It's funny my girl friend said I'm only allowed to say 2 words to other girls "hi and bye" I told her no, I get to say 5 words "baby wont you love me" thought I told her I was kidding, it's interesting how much more playful she is without the stress of school.

I can't wait to eat steamed buns again, Oh my god they're tasty...heck, even hot pot is going to be great, and I'm not even a huge hot pot fan.
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Postby magnum » Thu Jun 27, 2013 7:18 am

So apparently my visa didn't have to be updated because the last time I got it the lady gave me way more time then I asked for or expected, and it's valid for another entry, I'm almost embraced to say I didn't realize it until she pointed it out the year and the entry letter.


So other then looking like a fool...I just saved 200$, score.
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Postby aozora13 » Thu Jun 27, 2013 7:33 pm

magnum wrote:So apparently my visa didn't have to be updated because the last time I got it the lady gave me way more time then I asked for or expected, and it's valid for another entry, I'm almost embraced to say I didn't realize it until she pointed it out the year and the entry letter.


So other then looking like a fool...I just saved 200$, score.


+1

Congrats Magnum, I hope you are able to finally get yourself settled down and stay long term.
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Postby momopi » Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:35 pm

I think usually China VISA's are one year, multiple entry. For US passport holders I think you can stay for up to 60 days at a time.

(Update: tourist VISA's are 30-90 days depending on your country of origin and other factors)
Last edited by momopi on Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby xiongmao » Fri Jun 28, 2013 2:23 am

Sounds like its a 30 day double entry visa.
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Postby djfourmoney » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:31 am

magnum wrote:@xiongmao

Well my girl friends mother is actually chronically ill and will probably pass soon, hell for all I know she might pass while I'm on holiday with my girl friend, that leaves her father and older brother....so I'll have 2 male family members who are probably not going to like the fact I'm with her in the first place, though I'm not sure if her brother will even care.

I remember in L.A in thai town that I managed to woo a girl who was singing on stage at a rather fancy thai restaurant, I do find them attractive, but I find a lot of them unattractive too, who knows, after china I'll see what happends, I might just find my self shopping thai, though vietnamese girls seem to keep getting my interest more and more, but I heard it's so difficult to get involved with them it might not be worth the time.


@taco

Yeah it seems the PI would be a god send if I found them attractive...I'm just not in to women from that part of the world, I dislike the language and the look of the average women in that country, I even sometimes get annoyed at my self for it, but I've always been physically attracted to the lighter skinned grils, china/japan/korea.


There is nothing wrong with PI women, the problem is the guys chasing what they find on the internet, marriage agencies and women from small largely indigenous towns/villages.

If you desire what I think you mean which is less dark skin/indigenous looking, then you'll need to find upper middle class women in medium to large cities.

We had this discussion before elsewhere on this forum. What you often see (my friend's wife included) is average looking, medium-dark skinned women being picked up by Western men who don't appear to be all that picky. Of course a girl who is dark skinned is going to be thought of as less attractive in any country that has had the presents of Anglo society or Western Europeans. Which means they aren't being asked out often by local men, so they start looking overseas.

I have to be careful with what I say cause it might not come out right but I think you know what I mean. Taco gets a pass because he dated a dark skinned Mexican during his travels in Mexico, I guess he likes that sort of thing.

If you decide PI, I highly suggest what I said above, forget the internet chicks, get on the ground and go where the middle/upper classes go. Many think those women are not interested in Western men. Well they might not be interested in corny, out of shape, two left feet Western men but if you aren't any of those things you should do fine.

Plenty of good looking, light skinned women in PI.
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Postby magnum » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:02 am

I was speaking with my girl friend a bit over text, apparently she has planned out a lot of are time together, one interesting bit is she's going to take me to see her aunt in the countryside, now I expect I'll be in for a shock, as when I hear countryside in china, I expect far worse conditions then what I'd expect in a usa farm.


Apparently I'll be helping her aunt with the garden, I'd imagine that's code for "your going to work your ass off" but I could be wrong.


One one side I'm happy she's having me meet members of her family, on the other I'm hoping not to do manual labor my entire visit!
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Postby aozora13 » Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:58 pm

Magnum,

To be honest, when you work in a farm/countryside, it does usually mean hardwork. I think that DJ was giving advice if somehow your Chinese girlfriend and you somehow don't work out together, that there are attractive lighter skinned girls in PI. There are some nice gems in the country but as he said it is usually in the upper middle/wealthy classes.

It might be fun too. Also, she is doing her best for you to see more of China and possibly (at least I think) to marry you when she still has possibilities for locals and other foreigners. Also, when a girl (of any culture) meets her family it is usually serious compared to our American women back at home which is basically 50/50 but not really.
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Postby xiongmao » Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:45 am

The Chinese countryside can mean rabid dogs, horrible food and sickness. Be careful going there!

Just don't visit her family if you're not 100% serious about her.
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Postby magnum » Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:23 am

Eh...I'm not 100% about her.



She's the best woman I've had a chance with though, and she enriches my life while she's around, more then I can say about any other woman I've been with.


The problem is she said she isn't looking to get married until she's 26, she's 19 right now, I'm 28 I'll be about 35 by then.... I don't have years to wait around, that alone might end the relationship as that's one sacrifice I'm not willing to make, I won't waist years of vapor left over youth waiting when I know I could find a wife in a shorter span of time.


She's very kind, she's attractive and has a body that could kill me, if I'm seeing all her family she must be serious about me, so maybe she'll realize she better rethink her time window for marriage.

And that isn't even mentioning the fact I'm a 28 year old virgin who isn't keen on being a 30 year old virgin, let alone I'm sure as hell not waiting until 35....not to mention she basically said twice she is willing to take my virginity away....but respects the fact I want to wait, she sure isn't making it easy, on the night I land in shenyang I'll be put to the test again, we're staying in a hostel, my will power is amazing and how I hate it.

Very frustrating to have things going so well, yet victory be so far away.

The train ride from shenyang to her home town will take 2 days, and apparently the train is very old, so I'm not sure what to expect, just seats like a flight, rooms, will we get food...ect I'm clueless.

Then I have another problem, a wise man would be communicating with other women as back up, but the problem is I'm a honest man, I don't play games and I only date one woman at a time, I would feel wrong for flirting and attempting contact with other women at this point while having a girl friend.
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Postby magnum » Wed Jul 10, 2013 7:20 am

I'm about to depart for china day after next.

Just finished doing my gift shopping more or less, I have about 3 more gifts out of 11 remaining...my god...shopping for your girl friends...family members/friends sucks, I got random low cost gifts for a lot of them, I'm not made of gold, so I"m not sure they'll be up to par, but from what she said it's not about the cost, and my experiences holds that true.


My stress level is up a little, she's expressed several times that she wants sex, and she knows from last time that I don't put out until after I'm married, yet she seems to be pushing it, odd I thought for a Chinese girl, gives me alarm....because literally the first night I'm in china I'll be sleeping in the same bed as her, it'll make it a odd first night if she expects me to pop my cherry.


I'm not looking forward to the 19 hour/layover wait time to get to china, but on the positive note, a few days ago I got my last pay checks from work, I made 150$ more then I had expected, that'll go far for me in china.

Soon I'll find out if this relationship has a future, I hope some of what I post will be of some use to any of you who are interested in actually going abroad and seriously trying to start a deep relationship with a girl you plan on wedding.


So far I can tell you Chinese girls are very good at playing chess....and by this I mean they will attempt to.....make you feel as though you could lose them even when you know you have them in your pocket, I can understand this tactic...as they're trying to make sure your not just playing games with them, so though they won't exactly lie to you, or at least mine wont...they tend to tell you things that leave the "door" open to the relationship as if she's the one with 100 options and not you, it's very easy to see, because the English skill it's harder for them to hide the motives behind what the girl says, but this could be true only for my girl friend.


maturity level is all over the radar, my girl friend is 19, she shows a mixed bag of independence, child like behavior yet has a lot of mature things to say, though my girl friend is 19, she seems to have a grasp on life matters and priority, wont be lazy, at least not when it comes to her education or "have to" kind of things, however, she's down right horrible with her eating habbits and exercise is non-existent, when chinese girls want to lose weight they eat less almost always instead of exercise, a very unhealthy way to achieve a weight goal.

My girl friend has no clue how to cook, in my case this is a positive as I have a very healthy life style and prefer to measure count calories and make sure everything healthy and on-gmo, as for you older guys, I'd imagine it'll be random chance, but it seems everyone older then 20 has some kind of minimal cooking skills 30+ should be able to cook, this is a guess based on what I've seen so don't take it as fact.

Public affection seems to happen, but not half as much as my girl friend was throwing it at me, this could be alarming or charming depending on the motive behind it, she might think it was more western to do that and thus it could be a negative, she might want to show off and that could be a negative, or she might just not give a damn, I'm not too clear on this one, but I know in china making out as much as we did was not normal.


If you guys have any questions, ask me here, and I'll respond when I can.

Oh and if anyone has any advice for me when it comes to young chines girls in a new relationship, by all means....tell me/warn me, I'm about to be in for one hell of a ride I'm sure.
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