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Postby Ghost » Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:06 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Mon Oct 24, 2016 3:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Ghost
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Postby kai1275 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:49 pm

Ghost wrote:Social Atmosphere and Dating:

The social atmosphere is very pleasant. It is a very walkable city, so people are out all the time, and people generally seem pretty relaxed. Or at least people don't usually look stressed like they do back home. I say "ni hao" to people on the street a lot and often get smiles, hellos in return, some people trying to speak Chinese to me (which I can't converse in at all yet), and rarely, a Chinese person who speaks English. The city has a pretty warm, cozy social atmosphere. Despite this, though, I know I am and would always be a foreigner. People often stare, point, or yell out something when I pass by. A few have run up to me to check my eye color, or at least I think that is what they are doing. (I have blue eyes - I guess those are pretty popular and exotic.)

This place is also incredibly safe. I walk around at night and so do a ton of people. There is no paranoia that thee is a rapist or killer behind every bush like back home. You could walk down a back alley at night and be as safe as ever. No one has tried to pick-pocket me. So the social aspect is much more calm and pleasant than back home. It isn't weird or awkward to say hello to people, or even to ask for photos with random people. Restaurants, shops, and sidewalks, bridges, and other walkways are everywhere so it definitely fosters the good social aspects.

I have not dated any Chinese girls. I haven't received interest from them in real life or on the dating site I use. I realize of course that I picked what is likely the toughest nut to crack in terms of fitting in and dating. Obviously, English speaking Chinese girls are one option, but since this is a small city, that would limit me to like 50 Chinese girls in the city. Another option is learning Chinese, which I know only a few words and phrases of currently. And fluency in Chinese is something Westerners rarely accomplish. Besides those issues, though, it doesn't seem to matter. I haven't gotten any interest from girls here anyway. Lots of couples walk around and most of my coworkers (both foreign and Chinese) are married. I have noticed that the foreign men who are married to Chinese women are attractive. They are also about 5 years older than me, which could be a factor also. It isn't a sausage fest like in the States, but single women are not just ridiculously abundant either.

Anyway, maybe I will continue this more later, not sure yet. I've got to go get ready to leave for work for now.


There are not an abundance of single women because you are in a small city/town/village-ish like place. Very very few English speakers there too for sure! You really need to create a profile on QQ international personals, and the other Chinese dating sites I recommended. Once the women realize you are located in China, you will get plenty of attention. Also take time to browse the profiles and send a canned email message in English and Chinese to all the pretty ones that say they speak English. Like I said before, you could probably get some of them to come visit YOU! Chinese women really like it if they can have a laowai boyfriend inside China. Some will never leave China though, so a serious relationship might get tough with those girls but we can always discuss that later.
kai1275
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Postby xiongmao » Fri Jul 26, 2013 7:08 am

Thanks for the update!

I used to hate the spitting! I'd be sitting in my apartment in the evening and constantly hear the factory workers in the apartment building opposite flobbing off of their balconies. Just horrible!

I've seen a lot of men pissing anywhere here in Thailand - didn't really see that much in China.

I can definitely recommend installing wechat - I wish I had put it on my phone in China, as it would have revolutionised the dating process. Watch out for hookers on it though!

On the work thing, Chinese work stupidly long hours. But if you see them working you'll see that actually they're not doing much. I went in a travel agent once and the whole office was playing QQ Farm.
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
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Postby Taco » Fri Jul 26, 2013 7:26 am

zboy1 wrote: Let me ask you, what are some things you regret not bringing with you to China?


You want to bring a laptop and lots of clothes and shoes that fit. The clothes they sell in Chinese stores will not fit the average foreigner and they have the worst TV on the planet which means you'll be on the internet constantly.
Taco
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Postby Ghost » Fri Jul 26, 2013 4:41 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Mon Oct 24, 2016 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Ghost
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Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Postby kai1275 » Fri Jul 26, 2013 5:05 pm

Ghost wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
Ghost wrote:Social Atmosphere and Dating:

The social atmosphere is very pleasant. It is a very walkable city, so people are out all the time, and people generally seem pretty relaxed. Or at least people don't usually look stressed like they do back home. I say "ni hao" to people on the street a lot and often get smiles, hellos in return, some people trying to speak Chinese to me (which I can't converse in at all yet), and rarely, a Chinese person who speaks English. The city has a pretty warm, cozy social atmosphere. Despite this, though, I know I am and would always be a foreigner. People often stare, point, or yell out something when I pass by. A few have run up to me to check my eye color, or at least I think that is what they are doing. (I have blue eyes - I guess those are pretty popular and exotic.)

This place is also incredibly safe. I walk around at night and so do a ton of people. There is no paranoia that thee is a rapist or killer behind every bush like back home. You could walk down a back alley at night and be as safe as ever. No one has tried to pick-pocket me. So the social aspect is much more calm and pleasant than back home. It isn't weird or awkward to say hello to people, or even to ask for photos with random people. Restaurants, shops, and sidewalks, bridges, and other walkways are everywhere so it definitely fosters the good social aspects.

I have not dated any Chinese girls. I haven't received interest from them in real life or on the dating site I use. I realize of course that I picked what is likely the toughest nut to crack in terms of fitting in and dating. Obviously, English speaking Chinese girls are one option, but since this is a small city, that would limit me to like 50 Chinese girls in the city. Another option is learning Chinese, which I know only a few words and phrases of currently. And fluency in Chinese is something Westerners rarely accomplish. Besides those issues, though, it doesn't seem to matter. I haven't gotten any interest from girls here anyway. Lots of couples walk around and most of my coworkers (both foreign and Chinese) are married. I have noticed that the foreign men who are married to Chinese women are attractive. They are also about 5 years older than me, which could be a factor also. It isn't a sausage fest like in the States, but single women are not just ridiculously abundant either.

Anyway, maybe I will continue this more later, not sure yet. I've got to go get ready to leave for work for now.


There are not an abundance of single women because you are in a small city/town/village-ish like place. Very very few English speakers there too for sure! You really need to create a profile on QQ international personals, and the other Chinese dating sites I recommended. Once the women realize you are located in China, you will get plenty of attention. Also take time to browse the profiles and send a canned email message in English and Chinese to all the pretty ones that say they speak English. Like I said before, you could probably get some of them to come visit YOU! Chinese women really like it if they can have a laowai boyfriend inside China. Some will never leave China though, so a serious relationship might get tough with those girls but we can always discuss that later.


It's a city of about 3 million. Seems like a balance of women and men. Still much better than the sausage fest back home though. I have had trouble installing QQ on my laptop. I keep trying but it doesn't work. I'll look over your thread sometime and check for the dating sites to use. I've used date in Asia but I only get messages from Filipinas. A friend is introducing me to a tutor soon so I can learn some more Chinese, and the girl likes foreigners, so I'll see how it goes.


Don't install the Chinese version! Install the International version! It's in English!

http://www.imqq.com/ There is a link there that goes to the QQ personals page too. It's free too! Lots of women on it.

Also get WeChat on your phone like Xiongmao said. You can put QQ on your phone too, it's in the Android store. WeChat is probably better for mobility though. Chinese, especially younger ones seem to be migrating off the QQ mobile for WeChat more...It works better too data and signal wise.

My wife says that using that Location Friend Finder whateveryoucallit feature in WeChat is what alot of people use to find people to have sex with. She says people say stuff like "zuo bu zuo?" to each other which basically means "Do you want to f**k?" If you are not interested in stuff like that, she advises to leave it alone....
kai1275
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Posts: 1436
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2013 5:19 pm

Postby kai1275 » Fri Jul 26, 2013 5:08 pm

Remember. The more women you are speaking to, the better your confidence, the better you can use that to make them understand you are valuable because others are vying for your affection too. Do not use that confidence to become a eunuch or a "herbivore" because you got too cocky.
kai1275
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1436
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2013 5:19 pm

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