Yeah, your experiences were definitely better than mine.newlifeinphilippines wrote:i actually found the bargirl more satisfying for me than a regular girl(s) i had after that in philippines. basically you just need to find a girl that gives a damn and some prostitutes actually can give you a girlfriend experience or even develop feelings for you. Alot though wont and i found most bargirls in philippines a total turn off like american hoes. If you find a genuine nice girl in the philippines fro the bar she can make you bust so many nuts youll actually go mentally nuts for sex. I went from being turned off from hoes and having trouble getting hard (and to this day i still have trouble getting hard with one night stands or prostitutes) to literally screwing 5 times a day the very day we met for on. There was a bargirl i had befor her when i first went to the country and she was nice and all and was the first time i enjoyed sex cause it felt real but she was ugly and i flew down to cebu where i met the bargirl who i kept at for a very long time over 3 trips.
I think its cause you haven't had a girl love you.
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my advice is try to stay out of the bars (those girls will screw you over in the end) and youll lose money and you wont feel satisfied with most of those girls. There is a few gems and you could wind up marrying one but I wouldn't risk it. but it worked out for me cause i built up sexual experience and learned how to turn one into a girlfriend. I found i wasn't happy with a more "real" filipina on my last trip after i dumped hte bargirl. she was ok and all but the bargirl still took the cake. the dating site sluts though they just mooch off yo and it feels p4p also so in the end ive never really been with a girl that loves me either. I hope to find a girl that will actually care about me other than what i can give her or support her. You wont find many on the dating sites like that. you have to really almost live there and spend your time with many girls.
My theory is that no young girl will love you if you look like you're older than your 20's. If you look older than that, you become categorized as a sugar daddy. The only way to experience that head-over-heels passion that we all see in movies and dream about is to catch the boat before it sails when you're still young. After that, you will never be seen as a young girl's equal. You will always be merely a father figure to her, and a utility. You won't be in her club, and you'll always feel an icy barrier that separates you from her.
When both of you are young, you become like kindred spirits. You mature together, and as a result, she develops a strong emotional bond with you. It is much harder for her to develop this bond with you once you're already a grown man.
Now, that's not to say that you or I can't have fun with young girls, only that it will never be the same like if both of you were young together. That is magical (while it lasts).
Last edited by globe-trotter on February 4th, 2015, 9:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
You are very right for the most part. But the thing is: what is done, is done. I don't know how you spent the first 45 years of your life, but they are behind you now. Your focus should be on the rest of your life. Do you want to ever get married, do you want to have a lasting relationship with a cute younger woman? Then pursue this now. The clock is ticking, and you do not have the luxury to waste your time complaining about things.
Just traveling is not enough, you need to talk to people. Get out there. Befriend people in foreign countries, girls and guys alike, and really connect to people and bond with them. You have to get out of your shell and deal with your issues, most of them exist only in your own head. What good is it to you to think about the things that could have been, but never will be? Instead focus on those things who you still can do. It ain't over till it's over... unless you've already given up?
Love, marriage and a family happens to some men later in life. OutWest for example, comes to mind. Or Davewe. But these members of our site have one thing in common: both of them appear to be social and outgoing people, capable of making friends and immersing themselves into a new culture. The type that prefers to stay in fancy hotel rooms and never really ventures out of the known paths, is not the type that does well. Of course people can change, and so can you. All it takes is for you to take steps in improving yourself, and working on your issues.
Have you ever been in relationships in the West? If so, how did those go and how did you get into them?
No No No....Don't miss India....You will learn a lot...What I meant was..You should not go to India with a rigid mind set...Let it come to you...be free...take what you like..reject the rest....
You will find women as open as Americans and as conservative as Saudi's...There is everything in India...You will get the girl of your dreams...just like that as well or the reverse...anything is possible ....I'm trying to be as Objective as possible on India....You just need to be open to all experiences in India..
LOL...Yeah....Sometimes I go for the "different one" for a change ..She claimed to be a model..So uses contacts I believe...
The thing that is really Alien like was there down to earth , non-judgmental attitude ....If only Indian girls half her looks would be like her in terms of being respectful..
While the easiest thing might be to question your methods, your social skills or even your mental health - I don't want to go there. A couple of years ago there was a long thread started by a guy who showed up in the Philippines, hated the place, hated the women and blamed every forum in existence for fooling him. It was a bizarre and lively discussion.
You haven't made it clear what you were looking for and maybe you're not sure yourself: a fun week of casual sex; the possibility of an actual relationship; finding a wife. Each of these scenarios requires a somewhat different approach. For example, I wouldn't think that going to Angeles is the best decision for finding a wife - yet saying that I know a couple guys married to girls they met in Angeles.
It also strikes me that a person who is socially awkward will be overwhelmed in Manila. Hell, I went to school in NYC and even I can't stand Manila.
I think the best thing that I did (and it was strictly by accident) is I found a mentor. I put trust in him because he had already done what I wanted to do and I figured what the hell. So my suggestion for you for the future (whether to the Philippines or anywhere else) is find someone to guide you. The person should be similar to you in goals and place in life. For example a good looking 21 year old guy only interested in how many girls he can get his paws on, might not be the best mentor for you.
I can say categorically based on my experience and the experience of maybe a couple hundred guys I know is that middle-aged guys (and truth be told I can barely call myself middle-aged anymore) can get young and attractive girls in the Philippines. It may not be as easy as walking into the supermarket and paying at the checkout counter - but it's not that much harder. But you still have to know a little bit about what you are doing and it sounds like you came unprepared.
One of the reasons I did the online thing before I arrived was not just to prime the pump, but to try to get a feeling for the women and the culture. So when I arrived, while I was no expert, I wasn't a complete novice either. By then I chatted with many Filipinas and had a general feeling for their attitudes.
I am one of those members who have posted often and generally positively about my experiences in the Philippines. But even I did not post a Will N Dowd style account of my experiences. I knew that too many members would question me, doubt my accuracy, demand photos, etc. I'm too damn old for such nonsense. I know what I did and to whom I did it Even my blog only scratches the surface of what I have seen there.
Bottom line, if you ever choose to return to the Philippines, or travel abroad to another country - find someone who can help guide you. You won't be sorry!
Check out my blog @ http://www.marriedafilipina.com
world traveler said the indian women on average were uglier than philippines. Sounds like a waste going there for a wife cause i think most filipina women are ugly (general population when looking around) so I could only imagine india LOL
I dont know wh y this guy is worried about love he is 45 and never had sex with a woman that loves him. Unless you want to marry a girl that is in her 30's and is very ordinary looking (which you could do) then your not gonna get passionate true love like in the movies that your thinking. Im younger than you and even ive accepted that I probably will never find a girl that will truly love me for me because im not a handsome guy and most foreign women see us different anyways. Which is fine by me im just gonna get a young attractive woman and I wont even care.
Ideally, my goal in the Philippines was to enjoy the 'girlfriend experience' with one or two women that fall into that 'gray area' of not quite being a prostitute, but not looking to get married, either; Maybe a very informal p4p, where the cost of admission is to pay the girl's way (dinners, drinks, entertainment, etc), not unlike having a girlfriend in real life. In such a setup, I was hoping that some passion might develop, and I would get a taste of what it's like to have a fling with a 'real' girl. This brief relationship would only last the length of my stay in the Philippines, as I have no interest in engaging in long distance romances.
Failing this, my 'Plan B' would have been to simply hire a girl from one of the bars for a couple of nights. But she would have to be a relatively naive newcomer, as a hardened professional working girl would not provide the experience I'm seeking.
I don't think I went to the Philis without a plan, it's just that my plan didn't quite work out as expected.
"A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished" -Goethe
Last edited by globe-trotter on February 4th, 2015, 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I used to be a man with a plan. Now I'm content just to live in different places and seize opportunities that come up. Like my current landlady sold the house I live in, so that seemed an ideal opportunity to go and get my CELTA. I had no idea I would do a CELTA before September of this year, that was not the plan at all but it has just happened.
As to ladies, well I met some great 30 somethings in China and Thailand although you have to face up to the fact that hot ladies who have never married tend to have issues and if a lady is too hot then she will be a terrible liability anyway.
BTW don't be too eager to get married - current landlord and landlady are just stuck with each other now, whereas I am free to do stupid stuff like quit good jobs and go live anywhere on the planet at a moment's notice.
I quit my boring cubicle slave job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
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Not only am I not eager to get married, I avoid it like scabies.
What has caused you to be so negative about it? Negative experiences in America?
you just need to find a girl you connect with or "Does it for you" then youll change your mind. Not every girl will do it for you. Hell even a pretty girl often wont do it for you. Thats why most of those hoes or dating sluts are worthless cause they are easy but thats about all they are and you wouldn't want to wife them or maybe even make a girlfriend. There is only a few percent of girls that really rock my world. when you find her you may consider marriage.
Well this at least fleshes things out. You did have a plan, but was it a plan consistent with what you did, or with reality in general? Had you just been looking for p4p in general that would have been no problem. Angeles, EDSA in Manila or most other major cities can provide that. But you wanted a newcomer, not a hardened professional. Nothing wrong with that goal, but how were you proposing to find such a newcomer and more importantly how is this the fault of the "not what it's cracked up to be" Philippines?
Your Plan A was a brief 1-week relationship - a vacation gf situation. That can happen in the Philippines, but with only 8 days and no preparatory online work before the trip, I don't think it's very realistic. Girls there are very wary of the type of foreigner who is just looking for a vacation girlfriend.
I've told the story before, but my now wife refused to meet me the 1st time I came to PI because she believed (and I gave her reason to believe) that I was looking for fun and would be meeting multiple girls.
Your advantage as a middle aged man is the fact that many Filipinas believe (rightly or wrongly) that a middle aged foreigner brings a stability and maturity that a young man doesn't. IOW, she may fall into bed with you quickly but only if she thinks you are a LTR possibility.
In your earlier posts you emphasized your social awkwardness or quirkiness as your possible failing. But your "failure" doesn't appear to have much to do with that based on these stated goals.
Check out my blog @ http://www.marriedafilipina.com