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The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Feb 04, 2015 9:30 pm

davewe wrote:
globe-trotter wrote:Ideally, my goal in the Philippines was to enjoy the 'girlfriend experience' with one or two women that fall into that 'gray area' of not quite being a prostitute, but not looking to get married, either; Maybe a very informal p4p, where the cost of admission is to pay the girl's way (dinners, drinks, entertainment, etc), not unlike having a girlfriend in real life. In such a setup, I was hoping that some passion might develop, and I would get a taste of what it's like to have a fling with a 'real' girl. This brief relationship would only last the length of my stay in the Philippines, as I have no interest in engaging in long distance romances.
Failing this, my 'Plan B' would have been to simply hire a girl from one of the bars for a couple of nights. But she would have to be a relatively naive newcomer, as a hardened professional working girl would not provide the experience I'm seeking.
I don't think I went to the Philis without a plan, it's just that my plan didn't quite work out as expected.


Well this at least fleshes things out. You did have a plan, but was it a plan consistent with what you did, or with reality in general? Had you just been looking for p4p in general that would have been no problem. Angeles, EDSA in Manila or most other major cities can provide that. But you wanted a newcomer, not a hardened professional. Nothing wrong with that goal, but how were you proposing to find such a newcomer and more importantly how is this the fault of the "not what it's cracked up to be" Philippines?

Your Plan A was a brief 1-week relationship - a vacation gf situation. That can happen in the Philippines, but with only 8 days and no preparatory online work before the trip, I don't think it's very realistic. Girls there are very wary of the type of foreigner who is just looking for a vacation girlfriend.

I've told the story before, but my now wife refused to meet me the 1st time I came to PI because she believed (and I gave her reason to believe) that I was looking for fun and would be meeting multiple girls.

Your advantage as a middle aged man is the fact that many Filipinas believe (rightly or wrongly) that a middle aged foreigner brings a stability and maturity that a young man doesn't. IOW, she may fall into bed with you quickly but only if she thinks you are a LTR possibility.

In your earlier posts you emphasized your social awkwardness or quirkiness as your possible failing. But your "failure" doesn't appear to have much to do with that based on these stated goals.



I was lucky cause the first girl i met in the bar i wound up barfining and clicking with it was almost like a girlfriend but she had to go home every night etc. but she wasn't attractive etc. I flew down to cebu and thats when i started having the true girlfriend experience one could have with a bargirl so to speak. my trip was a total of month and half though. There is no way i could have acheived anything in 8 days. But this last trip i found a girl online so i had a ready made girlfriend right away so it wouldn't have mattered how long my trip was. And i found that milf girl during a fight during my stay right away. You can find vacation girlfriends but its easiest online or from a bar neither of which he seemed to really do much work into. None of this is gonna be satisfying for a guy looking for love though. I know how he feels. He needs to do more prep work online or live overseas none of this 1 week millionaire nonsense. He needs 6 months to a year minimimum.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby Jester » Wed Feb 04, 2015 10:31 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
You can't make traveling about chasing women not even philippines. you gotta have other goals in mind.



Right on several levels.

+1
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby Jester » Wed Feb 04, 2015 10:39 pm

droid wrote:
...seeked treatment first.


SOUGHT
:mrgreen:
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby droid » Wed Feb 04, 2015 10:49 pm

Jester wrote:
droid wrote:
...seeked treatment first.


SOUGHT
:mrgreen:

haha thanks,
you know, i thought about it for a whole minute and couldn't remember that for some reason
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby lasttry » Wed Feb 04, 2015 10:58 pm

My suggestion to the OP is as follows:

1) Make himself as physically attractive as possible, without going to the PUA extreme of doing things just for women. Being lean and athletic is good for health reasons, and the attractiveness is a side-effect. Dressing nicely helps in the work world and with police, apart from any benefit with women, and so is something to do regardless of what you decide about women. Think business casual or any variation on that. Ditto for bathing regularly, getting a decent haircut, etc. Develop decent social skills. Again, these are useful in general life, not just with women.

2) Fix the bloating issue, assuming it's real. It sounds like bullshit, but maybe not. Try a 30-day water fast. Fasting cures a lot of health problems.

3) Forget about going overseas. You have severe psychological issues and going overseas will just compound the difficulty of resolving them.

4) Forget younger women. Given all your psychological issues, you need to look exclusively at women 50 and up. The only thing you necessarily lose with older women is intense p***y smell (women past age 40 have almost no smell), but doesn't sound like you like that anyway. Some older women are broken down in the body or lacking libido. Move on if you encounter one of these. Older women don't menstruate, don't get pregnant and don't expect you to support them. Some older women even have very tight pussies, if you want that.

5) If you don't like touching women naked, then you don't like sex. Case closed. Nothing wrong with masturbation, BTW. Masturbation has been my preferred sexual outlet for most of my life, even though I do like touching women, and I do like the heat and moistness and smell of women's pussies when they aroused. If those things repel you, then you are definitely a candidate for full-time masturbation. Learn to do it properly however. In particular, at age 45, you need to avoid peak orgasms. In fact this is true even with partner sex.

6) If you have mixed feelings about touching women, then I would suggest you get comfortable touching them with clothes on first, then move to touching them naked. The way to do this is with Argentine tango or ballroom dancing.

7) Ignore all this advice about being more outgoing. Changing your personality is never a good idea. Accept yourself for what you are. If you do what I recommend about making yourself physically attractive as possible (including fixing that bs-sounding bloating) and taking up dancing and being open to older women, the women should come to you without you having to do anything. If you have reasonable social skills, then they'll even do most of the work of getting the two of you into bed.

8. Once that happens, you still have to perform sexually. I suggest you get over your homophobia and practicing f***ing yourself in the ass with a dildo to see what women feel when they are being f***ed. The anus is not a vagina, of course, but it does give the general idea. Or simply imagine being f***ed in the ass while masturbating. If you can, imagine yourself having a vagina and being f***ed. The idea is to learn to f**k properly. You don't want to just pound away and then explode. This is junk sex and only appeals to the coarser women. Junk sex like this is why a lot of women burn out on men. (RooshV boasts of practicing junk sex like this in one of his books, BTW. He also repeatedly says he makes no attempt to make things enjoyable for the woman in bed. Only a PUA would openly admit to such a thing.) You need to learn to go slow. While masturbating, make sure you can keep going for hours on end. Try to become multi-orgasmic. Don't use a tight grip on yourself. Possibly practice with a fleshlight, the original model which is the loosest, to prepare for a vagina. As I noted some older women have very tight vaginas, but not all of them. So you need to learn to work with the loose ones as well.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby Jester » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:05 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Yeah i agree manila is way better on all counts. Hotels are too expensive in manila and I aint moving into a condo.



I was thinking of renting a condo in Ortigas City (in Manila) for 1 or 2 months, when I can. Main purpose is not for chick-hunting, but still, I am curious why you disdain condo rentals?
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby globe-trotter » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:18 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:
globe-trotter wrote:
xiongmao wrote:BTW don't be too eager to get married


Not only am I not eager to get married, I avoid it like scabies.


What has caused you to be so negative about it? Negative experiences in America?


The marriage laws, and the fact that I need my space.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby Jester » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:26 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:Globe have you thought of getting in an arrangemed marriage in India? Im probably gonna go to india soemday. If you have the cash then pay up to the parents and get married then youll be good to go.


Do Christians do that?
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby globe-trotter » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:31 pm

davewe wrote:how were you proposing to find such a newcomer and more importantly how is this the fault of the "not what it's cracked up to be" Philippines?


The Philippines does not match up to the hype you read about. This doesn't mean that it's a bad country, by any means. It just didn't meet my (admittedly) lofty expectations.
How would I find a naive newcomer? This is more art than science. I would just go by gut instinct, I guess.

davewe wrote:In your earlier posts you emphasized your social awkwardness or quirkiness as your possible failing. But your "failure" doesn't appear to have much to do with that based on these stated goals.


My social awkwardness is an additional layer of problems that I face besides any other problems that I may encounter. The reason I failed in the Philippines was because I couldn't find a girl that turned me on. But even if I had, I would still face the daunting task of interacting with her and (gasp) successfully having sex with her. In other words, I didn't even get up to bat, let alone get to first base.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:36 pm

Jester wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Yeah i agree manila is way better on all counts. Hotels are too expensive in manila and I aint moving into a condo.



I was thinking of renting a condo in Ortigas City (in Manila) for 1 or 2 months, when I can. Main purpose is not for chick-hunting, but still, I am curious why you disdain condo rentals?


I actually would love to live in a condo but for a 6 month vacation I didn't want to deal with a landlord, utilities, neighbors, being stuck in one place, etc. A hotel i found reasonably priced for long term (not in manila). So much easier to deal with a hotel especially since i knew this one well. I think condo or apartments are if you only plan to stick to one city for many months and are on a tight budget. Im on a tight budget myself its just that the hotel wound up being the same costs as a condo.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:37 pm

Jester wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:Globe have you thought of getting in an arrangemed marriage in India? Im probably gonna go to india soemday. If you have the cash then pay up to the parents and get married then youll be good to go.


Do Christians do that?


youll have to ask starchild I didn't get an answer on that. Im sure theyd be open to it more than christians in other countries considering the heavy influence of hinduism and arranged marriages in that country.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:44 pm

lasttry wrote:My suggestion to the OP is as follows:


3) Forget about going overseas. You have severe psychological issues and going overseas will just compound the difficulty of resolving them.

4) Forget younger women. Given all your psychological issues, you need to look exclusively at women 50 and up. The only thing you necessarily lose with older women is intense p***y smell (women past age 40 have almost no smell), but doesn't sound like you like that anyway. Some older women are broken down in the body or lacking libido. Move on if you encounter one of these. Older women don't menstruate, don't get pregnant and don't expect you to support them. Some older women even have very tight pussies, if you want that.

5) If you don't like touching women naked, then you don't like sex. Case closed. Nothing wrong with masturbation, BTW. Masturbation has been my preferred sexual outlet for most of my life, even though I do like touching women, and I do like the heat and moistness and smell of women's pussies when they aroused. If those things repel you, then you are definitely a candidate for full-time masturbation. Learn to do it properly however. In particular, at age 45, you need to avoid peak or****s. In fact this is true even with partner sex.



I kind of agree with forgetting overseas in that he has psychological issue and the women there can be scary and you have to be in the big leaguest to handle them overseas or they will walk over you financially and emotionally. Plus the good quality women are not easy to get and he will wind up with women who will screw over him cause he doesn't know better the difference between good and bad over there like most foreigners. American women are probably easier to handle in some ways cause its local and you know where you stand and there is not this hgue cultural and money issue. But if he forgets overseas then he is forced to be alone probably which is probably worse.


I disagree with your point about him not liking sex. I was in the same situation he is. He has psychological issues from his background and personality that he needs to overcome. He will get worse not better from lack of interaction with women. Who knows though maybe he really doesn't like sex but it seems like hes not fully at that point.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby Jester » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:46 pm

I respect the OP's honesty throughout this thread.

That said....
...this is one of the worst, if not THE worst thread in the history of HA.

I thought LastTry was on track (above) to give some okay advice to our troubled friend, what with older women and ballroom dancing and all. Eliminates pressure to marry, eliminates pressure to have sex, allows real relationships with real women....

It was sounding brilliant....

Then I get to the part about f***ing YOURSELF IN THE ASS WITH A DILDO.

:shock:

This thread now gets a -10 and I suggest we start a special "Hall of Shame" forum where we can move creepy threads like this one.
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:50 pm

Jester wrote:I respect the OP's honesty throughout this thread.

That said....
...this is one of the worst, if not THE worst thread in the history of HA.

I thought LastTry was on track (above) to give some okay advice to our troubled friend, what with older women and ballroom dancing and all. Eliminates pressure to marry, eliminates pressure to have sex, allows real relationships with real women....

It was sounding brilliant....

Then I get to the part about f***ing YOURSELF IN THE a** WITH A DILDO.

:shock:

This thread now gets a -10 and I suggest we start a special "Hall of Shame" forum where we can move creepy threads like this one.


LOL actually the part about 50 year old women and intense smell and all that talk about their bodies was gonna make me puke.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Postby globe-trotter » Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:33 am

newlifeinphilippines wrote:I kind of agree with forgetting overseas in that he has psychological issue and the women there can be scary and you have to be in the big leaguest to handle them overseas or they will walk over you financially and emotionally. Plus the good quality women are not easy to get and he will wind up with women who will screw over him cause he doesn't know better the difference between good and bad over there like most foreigners. American women are probably easier to handle in some ways cause its local and you know where you stand and there is not this hgue cultural and money issue. But if he forgets overseas then he is forced to be alone probably which is probably worse.


If anything, I am kind of immune to being taken advantage of by women financially and emotionally. Only someone who goes ga-ga for sex could fall victim to this. I'm actually quite apathetic towards women, especially after I touch them and try to have sex with them (getting horny over the way they look is another story). I get this disappointing feeling of 'is this all there is? What's the big deal?'. Then, for months after that, every girl I see on the street, no matter how hot, I think to myself, 'what am I going to do with her, anyway?'
Last edited by globe-trotter on Thu Feb 05, 2015 1:19 am, edited 2 times in total.
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