Winston in China! Updates and Photos

[Winston]

Hi all,
The other night Zboy, Ethan_sg and I went to some clubs in Shenzhen, China. We just walked around to explore since there was no entrance fee. There were lots of hot girls but all of them were in either groups or standing around looking self-absorbed like divas. They were totally standoffish and impossible to connect with. And they looked trashy with dark vibes too.

So I don't get something. Why are clubs considered socially acceptable places to meet people? And if these girls are supposed to be out having fun, then why are they so stuck up and don't want to talk to strangers? I don't get it. Furthermore, if these nightlife people are rebelling against society by partying at night against the mainstream, then wouldn't that make them supposedly open minded people since non-conformists are supposed to be open-minded? Yet open minded people aren't that stuck up. How do you explain that?

Also, all the normal girls we know in China have to sleep early so they can get up to go to work early. So how are these girls in the club able to be out so late? Are they from rich families? If so, why would rich parents allow them to stay out all night against Chinese tradition and customs? And how do these club girls support themselves if they don't have to work? I've always wondered about that. Any of you know?

Ethan told me that some of the club divas at the front were hired by the management to make the club look good. lol

What's odd is that I find the girls in the daytime to be even more approachable than the ones late at night around the clubs and night markets. For some reason, the late night AM party girls have a dark vibe and energy about them that makes them even colder and less approachable than the girls in the daytime. Weird. It's like they are the product of dark forces or something. lol. Can anyone explain why? I'm too down-to-earth to understand this. lol

Update:

This morning I got my first number here via cold approach. She was a hot 20 year old with a perfect looking face. However, her voice sounded crude, rough and ghetto. I don't know why. I've never seen such a pretty face with such a rough voice.

But at least half of the people in China sound like that - crude, rough, ghetto, kind of dumb and clueless. Most people can't even give proper directions when you ask them. They are almost like Filipinos, not very educated or refined, and kind of clueless, like barbarian brutes or cavemen. lol

[droid]

Can anyone explain why? I'm too down-to-earth to understand this. lol

Good observations Winston.
Night Clubs -like malls- are just prepackaged concepts that will be about the same no matter where you go. The concept here is to be "cool" and "better" than most other people, thus the stuck-up attitude. It's not about 'meeting new people' anymore, and more about going to "socialize" with people you already know (wtf?).

It used to be that discos and clubs were about actual couple-dancing, where you got a chance to meet ladies via your dancing skills. There are still places like that, for example here in southamerica or even the states. But more and more it's turning into either individualistic electronic music for zombies, or already-aquainted cliques dancing 'reggeaton' in a circle. Or like in America's bar-scene, where you just stand and try to bullshit your way into some bitch's pants, knowing full well you were already pre-approved or not based on your looks alone.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but i think Asia skipped the whole couple-dancing scene and went straight from traditional family-introductions into the individualistic techno/electronic vibe and stand up bars ??

Edit:
As far as "rebellious" and "open-minded" goes, that's all actually mainstream bullshit now, che-guevara tatoo and all. Try being the traditionalist instead these days and now you'll see yourself ostracized like a leper.
That's my take on why you see those supposedly "rebel" ones being so cliquish and stuck-up, they think they hold some "truth".

This morning I got my first number here via cold approach. She was a hot 20 year old with a perfect looking face. However, her voice sounded crude, rough and ghetto. I don't know why. I've never seen such a pretty face with such a rough voice.

That's great man, can you give more details on how this happened?

But at least half of the people in China sound like that - crude, rough, ghetto, kind of dumb and clueless. Most people can't even give proper directions when you ask them. They are almost like Filipinos, not very educated or refined, and kind of clueless, like barbarian brutes or cavemen. lol

That's a bit tough and condescending man.
I did not find them so rough. Maybe a little bit country side or what not. But maybe it's because you do speak the language.
They seemed authentic though.

[Winston]

Ethan told me that you can use a VPN to access Google and Facebook in China. He said they are easy and cheap and only cost 4 dollars per month to use. You can sign up for one at many sites, such as this one:

http://www.astrill.com

So next time you're in China, you can try using that to access the internet.

Actually, Astrill is blocked in China. But you can probably download it first in your country and then use it in China. The site explains how to use it. Or you can use other VPN services. There are many.

Btw, when in China, it's best to book hotels and domestic flights on Ctrip at http://www.ctrip.com . They have the best rates and allow you to earn points that give you discounts and rebates on bookings. Me and Ian found some great deals on there.

We also found this interesting Space Capsule hotel in Shenzhen that we wanna try out. It looks really cool and makes you feel like you're on a space ship or space station. lol. It has these capsules that look like beds on a space station, and little robots that serve drinks. The theme looks like something out of a science fiction movie. Check out the pics at the link below and you'll see what I mean. lol. It's only 13 dollars a night too. Wow.

http://english.ctrip.com/hotels/shenzhe ... les-hotel/

[xiongmao]

Stay long enough in China and you'll be able to recognise people's social class by their voices. It's not really that difficult.

CTrip is good and I used it while I was there. But for the best rates use hotels that aren't always on hotel sites (I think they are called inns).

[Winston]

I just got home from a date. Wow. We spent all afternoon and evening together from 3pm to 2am. First we went to a nice park, walked around, talked on benches, and rode a boat onto the lake. It was very romantic and we seemed to have good chemistry together. She laughed and smiled a lot and brushed her arm and shoulder a lot on my body, which was a good sign. When we went to eat dinner at a Sichuan restaurant, she was already holding my arm, and after dinner, she was holding my hand. Then we went to Cocopark for a dessert, which was another romantic area outside of a mall. Near midnight, we saw a movie, the remake of Cinderella, a perfect date movie. I never had a date go so well in a long time.

She seems to really like me. We started holding hands on the first date and during the movie she put her head on my shoulders and clasped my arm, which is a good sign. She's really cute and sweet and laughs a lot, which is not usual for a Chinese woman. She isn't thin but she's still sexy and curvy and has a very sweet face. We met on Date in Asia.

[droid]

I just got home from a date. Wow. We spent all afternoon and evening together from 3pm to 2am. First we went to a nice park, walked around, talked on benches, and rode a boat onto the lake. It was very romantic and we seemed to have good chemistry together. She laughed and smiled a lot and brushed her arm and shoulder a lot on my body, which was a good sign. When we went to eat dinner at a Sichuan restaurant, she was already holding my arm, and after dinner, she was holding my hand. Then we went to Cocopark for a dessert, which was another romantic area outside of a mall. Near midnight, we saw a movie, the remake of Cinderella, a perfect date movie. I never had a date go so well in a long time.

She seems to really like me. We started holding hands on the first date and during the movie she put her head on my shoulders and clasped my arm, which is a good sign. She's really cute and sweet and laughs a lot, which is not usual for a Chinese woman. She isn't thin but she's still sexy and curvy and has a very sweet face. We met on Date in Asia.

That's greaat man congrats!! How old is she?
We told you you had to get your ass to China

Aren't they nice? Say what you will about their general demeanor but their authenticity is hard to beat IMO.
And that's only the beginning, think about it, there are potentially hundreds of thousands like her within reach.

Sometimes i really feel i'm wasting my time over here in South America, oh well one thing at a time.

[Winston]

I just got home from a date. Wow. We spent all afternoon and evening together from 3pm to 2am. First we went to a nice park, walked around, talked on benches, and rode a boat onto the lake. It was very romantic and we seemed to have good chemistry together. She laughed and smiled a lot and brushed her arm and shoulder a lot on my body, which was a good sign. When we went to eat dinner at a Sichuan restaurant, she was already holding my arm, and after dinner, she was holding my hand. Then we went to Cocopark for a dessert, which was another romantic area outside of a mall. Near midnight, we saw a movie, the remake of Cinderella, a perfect date movie. I never had a date go so well in a long time.

She seems to really like me. We started holding hands on the first date and during the movie she put her head on my shoulders and clasped my arm, which is a good sign. She's really cute and sweet and laughs a lot, which is not usual for a Chinese woman. She isn't thin but she's still sexy and curvy and has a very sweet face. We met on Date in Asia.

That's greaat man congrats!! How old is she?
We told you you had to get your a** to China

Aren't they nice? Say what you will about their general demeanor but their authenticity is hard to beat IMO.
And that's only the beginning, think about it, there are potentially hundreds of thousands like her within reach.

Sometimes i really feel i'm wasting my time over here in South America, oh well one thing at a time.

Her DateinAsia profile says 31. But she looks like late 20's. I didn't want to tell her my real age, so she didn't tell me hers either. I don't know why.

The thing is, she's not too attractive but not unattractive either. So she's a good match for me in terms of looks. Rock and Ethan_sg and Zboy1 agreed. She's very sweet and sexy, but not thin.

However, she is kind of desperate for marriage though. So I have to play along or at least consider it. Chinese mentality seems way too serious.

[xiongmao]

Wow, send me her photo, it would be funny if she was one of the girls I met. I prefer the curvy girls.

Just be wary of DiA girls, it's not such a good site for meeting honest girls. One of the Chinese women I dated was economical with her age, but I found out later that she was a habitual liar in all aspects of her life. Some people are like just that.

Don't lead her on too much either - Chinese girls can do crazy stuff when they're jilted. At least Western women know that casual sex is just exactly that, and the same goes for short term relationships.

Have you found any dating parties to go to? There are usually lots going on, but it's very hard to find out about them if you're not a local and your Chinese Googling skills aren't up to much. I had a good time when I went to one (despite the total lack of food!) but I just didn't see anyone I really liked.

[momopi]

...get out of shenzhen and start traveling across China.

[Winston]

Ok I found a VPN service that works in China and allows me to access Google and Facebook. It's simple to use too. You just have to install a small client software. It's legal too.

http://www.vpn01.co.uk

Btw, one benefit in China is that the food is healthy, so you lose weight easier here. Zboy1 told me he lost a lot of weight while in China and he didn't even eat less. Here it seems my appetite is small. After I eat a small meal, I do not feel the need to eat again. The food here is not addicting like it is in America. Once I feel full I don't feel any more food cravings. And in the city, you walk a lot too, so I get some exercise. So I am starting to lose weight here.

This is important because I heard that Chinese women don't mind guys who are ugly and nerdy, which many Chinese guys are, but they do not forgive a guy who is overweight, which is a sign of bad health, bad habits, and bad genes to them. That's why you see many ugly/nerdy guys that are thin with hot/attractive girls in Chinese cultures.

[Winston]

Wow, send me her photo, it would be funny if she was one of the girls I met. I prefer the curvy girls.

Just be wary of DiA girls, it's not such a good site for meeting honest girls. One of the Chinese women I dated was economical with her age, but I found out later that she was a habitual liar in all aspects of her life. Some people are like just that.

Don't lead her on too much either - Chinese girls can do crazy stuff when they're jilted. At least Western women know that casual sex is just exactly that, and the same goes for short term relationships.

Have you found any dating parties to go to? There are usually lots going on, but it's very hard to find out about them if you're not a local and your Chinese Googling skills aren't up to much. I had a good time when I went to one (despite the total lack of food!) but I just didn't see anyone I really liked.

I will have to start enabling attachments here in the forum in order to post images. But if I did that, and everyone started posting photos, the size of this forum in terms of files would balloon and I'd run out of hosting space and have to pay for more. I'll see if there's a way to shrink the posted images.

Yeah the girl I met on DIA turned out to be chubby, but that's ok cause we had good chemistry. I still liked her. But she did use a fake photo of her that was like her face pasted onto a thin body, which she admitted to later. So she did use deception. I don't know why, I guess to attract more guys.

How am I supposed to find out about these dating parties? Where are they advertised? Which sites?

Maybe we can try going to Meetup.com groups in China too.

I also heard that AFA is having a romance tour in Shenzhen soon too. Maybe I should attend that?

http://women.happierabroad.com/tour/ord ... rder.shtml

I'll ask the owners of AFA if I can just attend the social events since I already have room and accommodation here.

[Jester]

I also heard that AFA is having a romance tour in Shenzhen soon too. Maybe I should attend that?

http://women.happierabroad.com/tour/ord ... rder.shtml

I'll ask the owners of AFA if I can just attend the social events since I already have room and accommodation here.

One of the best ideas you've had (since leaving the US again).
+1

Do it!!!

[xiongmao]

There are loads of Chinese in Barcelona. They look fairly rugged and working class, I think they are from the North and have migrated here in search of opportunities. Maybe I should rejoin Chinese Love Links and see who's here.

I nearly went on the AFA Shenzhen thing in 2011 but then a pushy girl convinced me to go to Guangzhou instead. Well Guangzhou is the better city, but it would have been interesting to go to the dating party. On the downside that's a lot of money to pay to see less girls than would be at a free dating party that the Chinese hold.

There are lots of dating parties in China but you gotta work those local Chinese reading contacts because they'll be posted on online forums and fliers put up around town. Have you tried Ganji? I think it's like a Chinese Craigslist. Another friend used to go to loads of them in search of rich men (she likes rich men!) If not then try and look for expat parties where girls will show up looking for foreigners. That bar street in Guangzhou (south of Shamian?) might be a good place to look. I never went there for some reason.

Oh well, keep us posted.

[Winston]

I just got home from a date. Wow. We spent all afternoon and evening together from 3pm to 2am. First we went to a nice park, walked around, talked on benches, and rode a boat onto the lake. It was very romantic and we seemed to have good chemistry together. She laughed and smiled a lot and brushed her arm and shoulder a lot on my body, which was a good sign. When we went to eat dinner at a Sichuan restaurant, she was already holding my arm, and after dinner, she was holding my hand. Then we went to Cocopark for a dessert, which was another romantic area outside of a mall. Near midnight, we saw a movie, the remake of Cinderella, a perfect date movie. I never had a date go so well in a long time.

She seems to really like me. We started holding hands on the first date and during the movie she put her head on my shoulders and clasped my arm, which is a good sign. She's really cute and sweet and laughs a lot, which is not usual for a Chinese woman. She isn't thin but she's still sexy and curvy and has a very sweet face. We met on Date in Asia.

Update:

On our second date, things started going well too. We were like a couple, holding hands. I even carried her purse for her like a Chinese boyfriend does. She took me to a nice temple outside the city in a wooded area. After doing prayers and throwing incense sticks, I threw a coin into the top window of an incense pot for good luck, which many other people were trying to do as well. I was told that it would bring me good luck if I got it in. After five tries, I finally got it in. All the signs were in my favor. The universe was on my side finally, I thought. And this girl was my "lucky dragon" because I had found love already.

Then we walked down to the park and lake area below which had nice romantic backdrops. We sat for a long time on the benches and sitting areas of the park and lakes and talked about life while flirting with each other. After a while, I began hinting that this was a great place for a first kiss, and she playfully began shying away and playing hard to get, like women usually do. Several times while holding her, I leaned in to kiss her cheek, but she turned away. Finally I got a kiss on her cheek.

As dusk approached, she led us to a more secluded area where we hugged for a long time and then started making out. She grabbed my head and began french kissing me. Then I began necking her and she was really into it. We became like two lusty teenagers. For a while, we alternated between hugging, kissing and necking. At one point, during a long hug, she even whispered "I love you" into my ear. She clearly had feelings for me, and I was sure we were now a couple. No doubt about it. We seemed so in love.

She even got on top of me on the bench and began humping me for a while when she knew I was already hard (with our clothes on though). I was wondering if we were gonna do it right there, since it had already gotten dark. She even said, "I'm so hot now" while we were doing this, so we were both horny. I hoped we would do it later in my room. There seemed to be a good chance that we would go all the way soon.

After a while, she said that was enough and that she couldn't control herself. As we walked out of the park and down the road, she tried to deny that anything happened because she was ashamed of it.

One spooky thing happened though. An older lady approached us when we were at the lake earlier to give us some warning about something. It was like something out of a horror movie, an old lady approaching with a dire warning. Eeeew. I asked my date about it, and she told me that the woman was a fortune teller trying to sell us her services, and that I should just ignore her. However, there were other couples there in the park, so I don't know why that woman was only approaching us with a warning and not anyone else. That is kind of spooky and creepy, like something out of a horror movie.

This wasn't the first time a strange woman approached me with a spooky warning type of tone either. I've had it happen several times. I guess Murphy's Law likes to single me out for stuff like that too. I've often been singled out of a group, by beggars, dogs, sales people, hustlers, and now fortune tellers. Oh great. The universe seems to like to pick on me for some reason. I wonder what she was trying to warn me or us about. (Maybe I should go back and ask?)

Anyhow, when we walked down the hill back to the bus terminal in the dark, we got on the bus and went back to town. Then we went to a vegetarian tea house in my hotel on the top floor. It was a very cozy romantic atmosphere. We were really hungry and thirsty since we hadn't eaten all day. I was thinking of taking her to a KTV to drink and sing afterward since a little alcohol may help her get more sensual.

After we ate and had tea there, she began asking serious questions about me. She said that she wanted to see my ID card to know what my real age was. She said that if we were going to have a relationship, then she had a right to know my real age. She had asked before, but I brushed it off. Now she was serious and adamant about it. She said she didn't care about my age, and that she just wanted me to be honest with her. I told her that I would show her my ID when we got back to my hotel room since I didn't bring my passport out with me. I figured it would be a good excuse to get her to my room so we could consummate our relationship in bed and continue what we started in the park earlier.

Yet by then, she had already began to look moody and distant. When we got to my hotel room, she was still silent and moody. I tried to kiss and make out with her in my room, but she wasn't in the mood for intimacy. I couldn't get her aroused again like she was in the park. With nothing more to do, I took out my ID card to show her, thinking that if that issue were tossed aside, we could continue making out. But I was wrong. After she saw my ID card and knew my age, she took out hers to show me. It turned out that she had lied about her age and was younger than I thought. She was actually 26, not 31 like her DateinAsia profile said. I don't know why a girl would pretend to be older than she is. Weird.

After that, she got a phone call and had to go. How convenient. She seemed in a rush to leave. She said she had to meet a friend and talk. Yeah right. I thought she was rejecting me cause of our big age difference. But she said she didn't care about my age and that we could still be together in a relationship as planned. However, I still had a bad feeling about it all.

(Note: That night, I told Rock, Ethan_sg and Zboy1 about the two days that went perfect. They both applauded me and said that this was going to be big news on the forum, when I announce that I have a real girlfriend in China now. But I told them that I didn't want to announce it yet because in the past, when I announced things like this (like I did in Russia) it jinxed me and things went wrong the next day.)

It turned out that she lied though. The next day, she refused to answer my texts and when I called her she didn't want to talk. I was stunned. How can everything go from being perfect to this total cold avoidance? It was unthinkable! I've never seen a woman turn around to that extreme degree before. That night, when she got off work at 11pm, she texted me and said she was angry because I asked for my phone charger power bank while she was asking to see my ID, and that offended her. Bullshit. That sounded like baloney. No one would get angry and moody just because of that. Yet she tried to put me on a guilt trip about that, even though technically I did nothing wrong. It seemed that she was rejecting me cause of our age difference, and the phone charger thing was just her way of fishing for an excuse to fight.

The day after that, she continued to ignore me. So I had Rock contact her. Rock talked to her and arranged to have her meet up with me after her work to talk things over. He told her I was a good man and that I may not understand Chinese culture to know what I did wrong. I assumed her anger would subside and that she would return to normal, like people with temper tantrums usually do.

But when we met that night after her work, I was wrong. She looked at me with cold eyes and asked me what I wanted to talk about, as if we had nothing to talk about. The look in her eyes said that she no longer had any feelings for me. I was stunned in disbelief. I've never seen a girl turn from hot to cold like that in such an extreme manner. But she gave me the usual spiel, that "we had moved too fast" and that we should take things slow and that she was unsure of her feelings for me. Any time a girl says that in my experience, it means she's trying to pull away and that things will only get worse, not better.

I was hoping I was wrong, but I was right unfortunately. After that, she remained cold and distant, not texting me very much, and only saying "hi" and "goodnight" each day, nothing more. One night she called me and told me that she was moving back to her home town in Henan province and that she was still in love with her ex-boyfriend who went to prison three years ago and wasn't ready to accept a new man into her life yet. Wtf? It was like she was making more excuses.

Finally, we met up again to see a movie. This time, it was even worse. She wouldn't let me hold her hand, and she looked unhappy and moody and wanted to be left alone. When I asked what was the matter, she cried and said, "Would you stop asking me that! I just got off from working 12 hours all day and just want to watch the movie ok!" Now she was totally rude and inconsiderate, not the girl I met the first two days. Very weird and unbelievable. I was shocked in disbelief. It was like she wasn't even the same person anymore, and had become a cold-hearted bitch.

After the movie, she told me that I wasn't her type and that she could not force herself to love me. Then she cried on my shoulder and apologized and said it was her fault and problem, not mine, and sent me home on a taxi.

I was stunned in disbelief. I don't know what to make of it or how to explain it. I mean, I can understand if a girl meets you and decides you aren't her type right away. But what I can't understand is how a girl can go from digging me during on two perfect dates, (where we spent nearly 24 hours together) showing signs of interest and attraction in body language and words, even making out with me and whispering "I love you" in my ear, and having great chemistry and laughing and looking happy, to this. WTF? Totally inexplicable and inconceivable. It felt like the Twilight Zone, or the worst case of Murphy's Law and Charlie Brown luck, or the infamous Winston Wu curse striking again.

Also, her explanations made no sense. First she tells me that she's mad about me asking for my phone charger back and that's why she turned away from me. Then she told me that she was still hung up on her ex-boyfriend who's been in prison for three years and couldn't love another man. And now finally she says I'm not her type and that she's moving back home to Henan province because she's having a hard time making it in Shenzhen. So which is it? WTF? However, she said it had nothing to do with my age, because she figured when she first saw me that I was probably around 40, so seeing my ID card was no surprise to her.

I wonder if her story about moving back to Henan was made up though. I mean if her life is so hard in Shenzhen and she is having trouble making ends meet, then how did she put up with it for two years already? I offered to rent an apartment for us so I can help support her, but she refused.

Now when I contact her, all she does it bait me into drama and trying to put me on a guilt trip as if I did something wrong, when I didn't. Her reasons are all nonsensical. I don't know why. She acts like I did something terrible. WTF? Very weird. She seems very delusional and messed up with issues. The fact that her ex went to prison is a bad sign too, if she gets involved with such types. She must either like bad boys and thugs, or perhaps she was a partner in crime as well. Either way, she seems mentally unstable. I showed her messages to Rock and Ethan_sg and they agree. Yet she was so kind and considerate at first on our first two dates. So WTF?

Any explanation for what happened? Am I just cursed or something? This is not the first time something like this happened. I've had girls in Russia and America like me a lot at first and then change their mind suddenly after a while and can't explain why, or cite BS trivial reasons.

[xiongmao]

I tried to log into DiA but they must have deleted my account or something. You got money, why not use Chinese Love Links and find some quality women? 10 months in Asia and I never met a single woman from DiA, most of my dates were from CLL, TLL, friends of friends or wechat. Use wechat - it's random but I did actually meet some interesting people on it.

As to ladies, if you signal you like a Chinese woman, my experience is that you have to go in all guns blazing. They won't stand for beta men. You'll only get one chance at this. If you blow it, it's over. That happened to me twice.