Winston in China! Updates and Photos

[smallcheese]

smallcheese,
Thanks for the info on Macau. Is Macau as expensive as Hong Kong? Do you have to take a ferry to get there from Zhuhai? Is it on an island?

I have a few more questions:

1. Ethan_sg told me that he's slept with a number of Chinese girls he's dated here and went all the way. He said it's not true that they only sleep with you if they plan to marry you. They sleep with you if they like you and see some potential with you. So then, why did the guys here make it sound like I can't get sex in China unless I plan to marry the girl? Yet he gets sex while he's dating the girls, which is what I was hoping and planning for. So why then do you guys make it sound like my expectation of having sex during the dating process is unrealistic?

2. Suppose I got married in China and then realized it was a mistake. Is it easy to get a divorce in China? Or would you have to spend a lot of money and pay attorneys, etc?

Macau is not as expensive as Hong Kong, unless you stay at the big Las Vegas style hotels. But there are plenty of places where the food is inexpensive.

One more thing I forgot to tell you about P4P in Macau. You can also easily get it by going to the bars at the Las Vegas style hotels, e.g. MGM, Venetian. There are always freelance P4P women there and the price is negotiable. There are also the hotel walkers in the basement of Lisboa hotel. They will proposition you directly if you're Chinese or Asian looking.

I'm not sure where you're going from to Zhuhai. Are you coming from Shengzhen? If yes, then you can go to Fu Yong terminal in Shenzhen and take a 45 minute ferry ride. Zhuhai and Macau are connected so you can just take road transportation to cross over. Parts of Macau are on an island.

Yes, you can definitely sleep with a Chinese woman you're dating. But I don't think it's so easy in the first few dates. It takes time for them to know you and trust you before that might happen. If they see you as marriageable material, then they might have sex with you so you both know what you're getting into later if you marry. Patience and time are needed for courting Chinese women, especially the better ones. Is that investment in time and patience something you're willing to do?

Sorry but I'm no expert in getting divorced in China. If you get divorced in Hong Kong then they follow British law which is not good for men. Before getting married, I'd strongly advise you to create and sign a prenupt to protect yourself.

[droid]

It's not easy for me to "next her" because I get attached to someone easily if I fall for them. Remember I fall in love easily and invest my emotions easily. I'm too eager for romance and not practical about it. Also since I have no other good prospects at the moment, it's harder to forget her..

...Obviously, if a girl argues about little things, then dumps you and cannot recover from it, and then acts vindictive toward you after that, she really must have mental and psychological problems

I'm similar to you, i start getting invested since i don't have a lot of experience.
It's hard but it's important to make an effort and disengage at the first signs of disrespect.
Like you say it's really all about finding options, and one good thing about falling easily is that you can fall for a replacement just as easily

[momopi]

smallcheese,
Is this sex guide to Shenzhen on WSG outdated?
http://www.worldsexguide.com/forum/show ... n-sexguide.
Also, what about using Craigslist to find escorts? There seem to be some hot ones in the Shenzhen section.
http://shenzhen.craigslist.com.cn/search/w4m
http://shenzhen.craigslist.com.cn/search/cas?query=w4m

http://www.internationalsexguide.info/f ... ?233-China (NSFW!!!)

It's not easy for me to "next her" because I get attached to someone easily if I fall for them. Remember I fall in love easily and invest my emotions easily. I'm too eager for romance and not practical about it. Also since I have no other good prospects at the moment, it's harder to forget her. Furthermore, she aroused me and riled me up, without completion or climax, so I felt like I was "left hanging".

Have you considered how quickly you were able to meet and date someone in China? As taught by an ex, the best way to get over someone is to get a new GF. It's a big, big place, get moving and find someone better.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Now when I contact her, all she does it bait me into drama and trying to put me on a guilt trip as if I did something wrong, when I didn't. Her reasons are all nonsensical. I don't know why. She acts like I did something terrible. WTF? Very weird. She seems very delusional and messed up with issues. The fact that her ex went to prison is a bad sign too, if she gets involved with such types. She must either like bad boys and thugs, or perhaps she was a partner in crime as well. Either way, she seems mentally unstable. I showed her messages to Rock and Ethan_sg and they agree. Yet she was so kind and considerate at first on our first two dates. So WTF?

Any explanation for what happened? Am I just cursed or something? This is not the first time something like this happened. I've had girls in Russia and America like me a lot at first and then change their mind suddenly after a while and can't explain why, or cite BS trivial reasons.

You are not being alpha.....women treat betas like shit.

[Winston]

Hi all,
I went to an AFA social last Saturday here in Shenzhen. It was my first time at one of these events. I was nervous and shy. When I arrived, they gave me a translator who guided me through the process. The ladies sat around the cocktail lounge and the men on the tour sat and talked to all of them and exchanged contact info, and then rotated around.

I ended up meeting three great ladies. Two of them seemed like keepers. One of them was a 32 year old grammar school English teacher who was very beautiful, sexy, educated, and mature, the perfect package. A definite gem and keeper. I would definitely marry her if I could. Plus her being a grammar teacher means she has good character. We talked for a long time, longer than we should have since we were supposed to rotate after a while. The other lady I liked was a 38 year old with a daughter who was a professional accountant and had her own car, so she's definitely not poor. She was fairly attractive and looked a lot younger than her age too. The third lady was nice and sweet but kind of quiet and bland.

These ladies were a class far above the Filipinas I dated in the Philippines. I had assumed prior that these ladies would all be poor and desperate, but I was wrong. Wow. I showed photos of them to Rock, Ethan_sg, Bao3niang and Zboy1 and they all agreed with me.

I'm not sure how the follow up process goes, but I guess I will just keep in touch with all of them and try to arrange dates with them. I guess that's what you are supposed to do. However, they met other male clients on the tour too, so they will be seeing other guys as well, and may fall for one of them. Who knows.

Anyway, they have all expressed an interest in seeing me. So I will try my best. This time, I will take things slow, so I don't mess things up like I did with that DateinAsia girl. Any advice?

Btw, all of them said that they would be happy living in Shenzhen if they found a partner and were not aiming to move abroad. I don't know if that's true or if they were just saying that to not look like green card whores. (I am not a mind reader after all) But I don't see why they would lie since Shenzhen is very safe, clean and modern, like a first world city, not the kind of place that people would be desperate to get out of.

[smallcheese]

I ended up meeting three great ladies. Two of them seemed like keepers. One of them was a 32 year old grammar school English teacher who was very beautiful, sexy, educated, and mature, the perfect package. A definite gem and keeper. I would definitely marry her if I could. Plus her being a grammar teacher means she has good character. We talked for a long time, longer than we should have since we were supposed to rotate after a while. The other lady I liked was a 38 year old with a daughter who was a professional accountant and had her own car, so she's definitely not poor. She was fairly attractive and looked a lot younger than her age too. The third lady was nice and sweet but kind of quiet and bland.

It's good that you did well on the tour. But seriously, you're already thinking marriage after meeting someone for the first time?? Lust at first sight is real but I don't think love at first sight is real. How long did you talk to the grammar teacher? The other women? What name did you use when you talked to these women? Your Chinese name or Winston Wu? What did you tell them when they asked you what you did for a living?

My advice is that you should followup quickly with the one(s) you like the most. Sounds like the grammar teacher interests you the most. Let her know that you really enjoyed your conversation with her and you'd like to continue it on a date. Suggest a place that you know is quiet, romantic with good food, drinks and make it a no brainer that she go out on a followup date with you. She needs to know that you are serious about her and that you're not a player. Try to secure the date as soon as you can and take it from there. I'd avoid talking about this web site as much as possible. Right now, you should focus on learning more about the ones you like and moving the relationship along.

Don't talk about marriage yet. It makes you sound desperate, even though that might be in the back of your mind. But if the woman is marriage minded, then you can drop subtle hints that you are ready for marriage and that you are serious.

These ladies were a class far above the Filipinas I dated in the Philippines. I had assumed prior that these ladies would all be poor and desperate, but I was wrong. Wow. I showed photos of them to Rock, Ethan_sg, Bao3niang and Zboy1 and they all agreed with me.


Btw, all of them said that they would be happy living in Shenzhen if they found a partner and were not aiming to move abroad. I don't know if that's true or if they were just saying that to not look like green card whores. (I am not a mind reader after all) But I don't see why they would lie since Shenzhen is very safe, clean and modern, like a first world city, not the kind of place that people would be desperate to get out of.

Even though the women told you that they're not interested in going to the U.S. or getting a green card, it's a good thing that they know you are a U.S. citizen. It'll be in the back of their mind when they assess their suitors and who to choose. Whether you agree or not, people in China still believe that they can get a better education in the U.S. so if children are in the future, then where they could get an education is a factor.

Of course these women were a class above the Filipinas you dated. Duh?? Didn't you spend most of your time in Angeles City? 'Nuff said!

Good luck on your chase and keep us informed of your progress.

[momopi]

I ended up meeting three great ladies. Two of them seemed like keepers. One of them was a 32 year old grammar school English teacher who was very beautiful, sexy, educated, and mature, the perfect package. A definite gem and keeper. I would definitely marry her if I could. Plus her being a grammar teacher means she has good character. We talked for a long time, longer than we should have since we were supposed to rotate after a while. The other lady I liked was a 38 year old with a daughter who was a professional accountant and had her own car, so she's definitely not poor. She was fairly attractive and looked a lot younger than her age too. The third lady was nice and sweet but kind of quiet and bland.

Folks, here's a little reminder on "why happier abroad":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOHDkIxyu2A

Must be nice for the young couple to have loaded parents eh? Most of us are not born with their genes and silver spoon in mouth. I'm from So Cal like the young couple in the video, but I'd never have as much fun at age 22 as they are enjoying life now, regardless of how many sour grapes you might find in a barrel. You can work hard and try for a small slice of what's in the video in America, or you can go abroad and find a bigger slice.

Winston, you've finally made it to China. You don't have to settle for older single mothers like men in America. Think of all the times when you were rotting away in Chayi and Vegas, trying to live from other people's experience. Now is your time. China is a big country with diverse population, many places to visit and women to meet. Go and find your piece of sweet boo-ty and a sweet pool to jump into with.


p.s. in case if anyone is wondering, the video came from "elite daily", catered to Gen Y kids:
http://elitedaily.com/life/people-trave ... er/982653/
http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/virt ... ad/981524/

[WorldTraveler]

I'm not sure how the follow up process goes, but I guess I will just keep in touch with all of them and try to arrange dates with them. I guess that's what you are supposed to do. However, they met other male clients on the tour too, so they will be seeing other guys as well, and may fall for one of them. Who knows.

I did several AFA trips years ago. In fact i was on the one with Mark Davis when he met Anna. Here's my advice. All the Western guys will be gone back home, very soon and you'll have all the women to yourself.

Give us some info on the socials. How many did you attend? How many men were there and where were they from? How old and how did they look, etc? How many girls attended? Age, quality, eagerness in getting serious. In Ukraine these parties attracted their share of player girls. Can you post some pictures of the party? What do you tell the girls you do? What do you tell them you will do if you move to China? Do you tell them you want kids?

[pete98146]

Anyway, they have all expressed an interest in seeing me. So I will try my best. This time, I will take things slow, so I don't mess things up like I did with that DateinAsia girl. Any advice?

I used to use a little trick when going on a date for the first time. I believe I got this tip from "How to Win Friends and Influence People" but it's been a long time LOL. I seem to remember that when the book was written, they did a survey of the number one word used in telephone conversations. The most common used word was "I". So that tells you that people LOVE to talk about themselves.

Years back, I went out on a date and tried an experiment. I thought up a dozen or so questions for her in advance and throughout the date I asked each one of them. It's a bit artificial and the key is to ask her and still maintain the flow of the conversation. But this allowed her to really open up and tell me about herself. If she asked me a question about myself, I would give a brief answer and steer the questioning back to her. It also allowed me to control the conversation and subconsciously women like to be controlled.

I know for a fact that she went home and told her girlfriend "oh I really like him because he was so interested in me" and "he's a bit mysterious" and I want to know more about him on the second/third/fourth date. <--- women LOVE when a guy is mysterious. That and they start feeling more at ease when they can open up about themselves to you. Also, use her name often in your conversations. People enjoy hearing their names.

Take your time telling your story and thoughts to her. Let her peel away your layers like an onion. Also don't give her a ton of compliments right away. Make her work for your affection.

I would have easily dated her except the girl that I really liked broke up with her bf and I ended up hooking up with her instead.

But this is a fun thing to practice on a date and I had good success.

[Winston]

I ended up meeting three great ladies. Two of them seemed like keepers. One of them was a 32 year old grammar school English teacher who was very beautiful, sexy, educated, and mature, the perfect package. A definite gem and keeper. I would definitely marry her if I could. Plus her being a grammar teacher means she has good character. We talked for a long time, longer than we should have since we were supposed to rotate after a while. The other lady I liked was a 38 year old with a daughter who was a professional accountant and had her own car, so she's definitely not poor. She was fairly attractive and looked a lot younger than her age too. The third lady was nice and sweet but kind of quiet and bland.

It's good that you did well on the tour. But seriously, you're already thinking marriage after meeting someone for the first time?? Lust at first sight is real but I don't think love at first sight is real. How long did you talk to the grammar teacher? The other women? What name did you use when you talked to these women? Your Chinese name or Winston Wu? What did you tell them when they asked you what you did for a living?

My advice is that you should followup quickly with the one(s) you like the most. Sounds like the grammar teacher interests you the most. Let her know that you really enjoyed your conversation with her and you'd like to continue it on a date. Suggest a place that you know is quiet, romantic with good food, drinks and make it a no brainer that she go out on a followup date with you. She needs to know that you are serious about her and that you're not a player. Try to secure the date as soon as you can and take it from there. I'd avoid talking about this web site as much as possible. Right now, you should focus on learning more about the ones you like and moving the relationship along.

Don't talk about marriage yet. It makes you sound desperate, even though that might be in the back of your mind. But if the woman is marriage minded, then you can drop subtle hints that you are ready for marriage and that you are serious.

These ladies were a class far above the Filipinas I dated in the Philippines. I had assumed prior that these ladies would all be poor and desperate, but I was wrong. Wow. I showed photos of them to Rock, Ethan_sg, Bao3niang and Zboy1 and they all agreed with me.


Btw, all of them said that they would be happy living in Shenzhen if they found a partner and were not aiming to move abroad. I don't know if that's true or if they were just saying that to not look like green card whores. (I am not a mind reader after all) But I don't see why they would lie since Shenzhen is very safe, clean and modern, like a first world city, not the kind of place that people would be desperate to get out of.

Even though the women told you that they're not interested in going to the U.S. or getting a green card, it's a good thing that they know you are a U.S. citizen. It'll be in the back of their mind when they assess their suitors and who to choose. Whether you agree or not, people in China still believe that they can get a better education in the U.S. so if children are in the future, then where they could get an education is a factor.

Of course these women were a class above the Filipinas you dated. Duh?? Didn't you spend most of your time in Angeles City? 'Nuff said!

Good luck on your chase and keep us informed of your progress.

Well AFA is a marriage agency, so aren't you supposed to think about marriage? Isn't that the point? I talked to the grammar teacher about 40 minutes I think, maybe a bit longer. I told them my name is Winston. For a living I told them I'm a writer and I earn income from online advertising and that one of my main advertisers is AFA, so I in a sense work for AFA. haha

For now though, I've taken down my controversial photo collage from this site, so that if they do Google me and find HA, they won't see it. Good idea?

Yeah I met the grammar teacher girl again the day after the social. (after she went to meet another tour client) We went to a Korean restaurant and talked for 3 hours. We had a nice talk about a lot of things. She sounded very mature and well balanced, with a positive attitude to life. I get the feeling that she is a quality person that wants to take it slow. She goes jogging regularly too, so she's in good shape. She also has a wholesome vibe about her too. A definite keeper.

[WorldTraveler]

Winston, how many people were at the socials, girls and guys? What was the quality of the girls? Where were the guys from?

[Winston]

I'm not sure how the follow up process goes, but I guess I will just keep in touch with all of them and try to arrange dates with them. I guess that's what you are supposed to do. However, they met other male clients on the tour too, so they will be seeing other guys as well, and may fall for one of them. Who knows.

I did several AFA trips years ago. In fact i was on the one with Mark Davis when he met Anna. Here's my advice. All the Western guys will be gone back home, very soon and you'll have all the women to yourself.

Give us some info on the socials. How many did you attend? How many men were there and where were they from? How old and how did they look, etc? How many girls attended? Age, quality, eagerness in getting serious. In Ukraine these parties attracted their share of player girls. Can you post some pictures of the party? What do you tell the girls you do? What do you tell them you will do if you move to China? Do you tell them you want kids?

Winston, how many people were at the socials, girls and guys? What was the quality of the girls? Where were the guys from?

I can't answer those questions because the managers at AFA told me they don't want me divulging any such confidential information out on my forum or newsletters. Most of the men were older and there were eight of them I heard. I can't post pictures but if AFA does on their site, I will post a link to them. I told the women I work for AFA as an advertiser and that I'm a writer too.

[Winston]

Wow! I looked in the mirror this morning and noticed a change. I look younger and more vibrant now, like I did when I was in Russia. I think it's because being in an environment (here in China) where social and dating life flows more smoothly and naturally makes me happier and thus makes me look better, younger and more vibrant. This in turn makes me more charming as well.

So as we've been saying all along, location does make all the difference!

Plus the fact that I'm eating healthier and less here, and doing a lot more walking everyday, helps as well.

Just wanted to report this good news.

[WorldTraveler]

I can't answer those questions because the managers at AFA told me they don't want me divulging any such confidential information out on my forum or newsletters. Most of the men were older and there were eight of them I heard. I can't post pictures but if AFA does on their site, I will post a link to them. I told the women I work for AFA as an advertiser and that I'm a writer too.

That's probably why you were so popular, because you were one of the youngest men at the social. Sounds like AFA is hiding things if they don't want you to discuss their socials on your website. Maybe you could PM me and tell me a little about their socials.

[xiongmao]

Yes AFA are trying to hide stuff in a Facebook era lol.

But if you look at the socials I'd say there were ~20 guys on the Shenzhen socials and no more than ~40 women. I'd guestimate the average of the women to be early to mid 30's.

I'll be more open, when I went to the Guangzhou dating party there were ~100 participants, around 65 women and 35 guys. Good odds! The women were younger than the AFA women. Also they were genuine women who weren't just there to meet foreigners (since foreigners don't generally go to these things). They were genuinely looking for husbands, and they treated the dating games really seriously.

It takes considerable effort to find these parties if you don't read Chinese or know locals, although they are very common.

Sadly even given these odds I didn't see anyone I really liked that day. So you could very easily spend all that money on the AFA socials and not see anyone you liked.

A bonus of going to the party was that I got on mailing lists for other events. So it opened a few doors.

If you go to the Philippines AFA event then there will be a lot more women which is in keeping with Filipinas being very numerous on any other Asian dating situation.

Winston if you're staying in China for a while then enroll some places where you will meet girls. Universities, gyms, these are good places to meet women! I was meeting so many people in my old Chinese University - shame I went mad there!!!